Chapter 11
Try as he might Nicholas could not comfort Nancy. It was not that he didn't want to for he was a caring person but it was she that would not let him near her.
He knew he couldn't keep her here by force but she had made no attempt to move so he did not offer to help her leave. He liked having her in the room and had this unbelievable urge to help her.
He glanced over to her where she was sitting on the bed still hunched up with her back against the wall as if trying to protect herself from something. He was racking his brains in order to think of some way he could help her, just a smile or to talk anything to get her out of the daze she was in. He didn't want to call a doctor as one look at her and they would sign her off to the asylums and Joly would be scared of catching something. He knew she wasn't insane though it was something else… some deep hurt or pain that had finally exploded inside her. For a few minutes earlier when she was shouting he saw a glimpse of her past. She had been ordered around and mistreated. Also there was someone she cared about very much. Him. But who was him?
Nancy sat there in the room with Nicholas. She hugged her aching body longing for the pain to stop longing for her broken heart to be mended longing for the emptiness where her child once lay to be gone and longing to feel wanted, needed and not alone. She could feel Nicholas watching her. She wasn't alone but she was lonely. Nicholas had tried to put his arms around her, tried to comfort her but it just reminded her of all the punters she had had it felt so very false. Only one persons arms didn't feel false and his arms were no doubt around some one else. She couldn't stop the tears spill over her eyes. Why hadn't he killed her in the room in old Nicole Street that night? Or why did she ever go to Mr. Brownlow and confide in him about Monks. And why did Fagin send Charley and Dodger to spy on her? And why did she try to help Oliver Twist? And why did she love Bill so much when he hated her so much? All these questions whirled round and round in Nancy's head but no answers came. Just like the happiness and love and the feeling of being wanted never came.
A knock at the door interrupted both their thoughts.
"Feuilly? You are going to be late and you know what Enjolras is like!" A laugh came from behind the door "Grantaire says you must beware of the Enjolras glare!"
Nicholas smiled and opened the door "Really Joly anyone would think you were humoring our great leader and starting to like Grantaire!" At this both men laughed then Joly caught sight of Nancy.
"Oh the patient is still here?" He cast a questioning look at Feuilly but got no answer "How are you feeling now?" he asked with a friendly smile but all he got in return was a blank look from vacant eyes. "That good?" he said with a smirk but concern was also in his voice. Nicholas decided it was best divert Joly away from Nancy so picked a topic that always won out with him. "Talking of health how are you Joly?"
With this Joly's concern changed to one of self-pity "You know I do believe I'm coming down with…"
Nicholas ushered Joly out of the room and Nancy listened as their voices faded down the corridor.
The sound of laughter woke her from her sleep. It had been a very peaceful sleep as Bill was in her dreams, loving her, protecting her from the pain and hurt she felt.
The voices became louder and she sat up and resumed her former position with her knees drawn up against her chest.
The door opened and in walked Nicholas with the handsome blonde student that she had been after all those months ago.
"Nancy" Feuilly slurred her name and she could tell in an instant that he had been drinking "This
is my friend and comrade Enjolras"
Enjolras looked at the girl huddled on the bed. He remembered her from the inn but she had been different then now she looked like a frightened animal. "Hi nice to meet you. I am afraid Feuilly here has had a little too much too drink tonight so I helped him home. But I'm sure he will be fine in your capable hands" he said with a grin and she knew exactly what that grin entailed.
For the first time since her outburst Nancy spoke "Well I…I was just leaving."
"Bloody hell!" Feuilly exploded as only a drunk does "I have been trying to get her to talk all day and you say hello and she talks back! It's a miracle!" Then he collapsed in a snoring heap on the floor.
"Not used to the drink then?" Nancy enquired. Seeing this man again bought her back to reality. She realized she couldn't mope forever things could be a lot worse. How they could she didn't know but there must be someone.
"No he isn't I think he has a lot on his mind"
"Ain't we all. I gotta go. Nice meeting you…again." Nancy made her way down the hall way and then the stairs at the bottom she heard a familiar voice.
"I'm telling you he has got some one and it's driving him to drink!"
The came another voice it was the one they called Grantaire
"No Courfeyrac" he slurred " It's when you haven't got one you drink!!"
This was followed by more laughter and then Nancy left the building and didn't look back
Try as he might Nicholas could not comfort Nancy. It was not that he didn't want to for he was a caring person but it was she that would not let him near her.
He knew he couldn't keep her here by force but she had made no attempt to move so he did not offer to help her leave. He liked having her in the room and had this unbelievable urge to help her.
He glanced over to her where she was sitting on the bed still hunched up with her back against the wall as if trying to protect herself from something. He was racking his brains in order to think of some way he could help her, just a smile or to talk anything to get her out of the daze she was in. He didn't want to call a doctor as one look at her and they would sign her off to the asylums and Joly would be scared of catching something. He knew she wasn't insane though it was something else… some deep hurt or pain that had finally exploded inside her. For a few minutes earlier when she was shouting he saw a glimpse of her past. She had been ordered around and mistreated. Also there was someone she cared about very much. Him. But who was him?
Nancy sat there in the room with Nicholas. She hugged her aching body longing for the pain to stop longing for her broken heart to be mended longing for the emptiness where her child once lay to be gone and longing to feel wanted, needed and not alone. She could feel Nicholas watching her. She wasn't alone but she was lonely. Nicholas had tried to put his arms around her, tried to comfort her but it just reminded her of all the punters she had had it felt so very false. Only one persons arms didn't feel false and his arms were no doubt around some one else. She couldn't stop the tears spill over her eyes. Why hadn't he killed her in the room in old Nicole Street that night? Or why did she ever go to Mr. Brownlow and confide in him about Monks. And why did Fagin send Charley and Dodger to spy on her? And why did she try to help Oliver Twist? And why did she love Bill so much when he hated her so much? All these questions whirled round and round in Nancy's head but no answers came. Just like the happiness and love and the feeling of being wanted never came.
A knock at the door interrupted both their thoughts.
"Feuilly? You are going to be late and you know what Enjolras is like!" A laugh came from behind the door "Grantaire says you must beware of the Enjolras glare!"
Nicholas smiled and opened the door "Really Joly anyone would think you were humoring our great leader and starting to like Grantaire!" At this both men laughed then Joly caught sight of Nancy.
"Oh the patient is still here?" He cast a questioning look at Feuilly but got no answer "How are you feeling now?" he asked with a friendly smile but all he got in return was a blank look from vacant eyes. "That good?" he said with a smirk but concern was also in his voice. Nicholas decided it was best divert Joly away from Nancy so picked a topic that always won out with him. "Talking of health how are you Joly?"
With this Joly's concern changed to one of self-pity "You know I do believe I'm coming down with…"
Nicholas ushered Joly out of the room and Nancy listened as their voices faded down the corridor.
The sound of laughter woke her from her sleep. It had been a very peaceful sleep as Bill was in her dreams, loving her, protecting her from the pain and hurt she felt.
The voices became louder and she sat up and resumed her former position with her knees drawn up against her chest.
The door opened and in walked Nicholas with the handsome blonde student that she had been after all those months ago.
"Nancy" Feuilly slurred her name and she could tell in an instant that he had been drinking "This
is my friend and comrade Enjolras"
Enjolras looked at the girl huddled on the bed. He remembered her from the inn but she had been different then now she looked like a frightened animal. "Hi nice to meet you. I am afraid Feuilly here has had a little too much too drink tonight so I helped him home. But I'm sure he will be fine in your capable hands" he said with a grin and she knew exactly what that grin entailed.
For the first time since her outburst Nancy spoke "Well I…I was just leaving."
"Bloody hell!" Feuilly exploded as only a drunk does "I have been trying to get her to talk all day and you say hello and she talks back! It's a miracle!" Then he collapsed in a snoring heap on the floor.
"Not used to the drink then?" Nancy enquired. Seeing this man again bought her back to reality. She realized she couldn't mope forever things could be a lot worse. How they could she didn't know but there must be someone.
"No he isn't I think he has a lot on his mind"
"Ain't we all. I gotta go. Nice meeting you…again." Nancy made her way down the hall way and then the stairs at the bottom she heard a familiar voice.
"I'm telling you he has got some one and it's driving him to drink!"
The came another voice it was the one they called Grantaire
"No Courfeyrac" he slurred " It's when you haven't got one you drink!!"
This was followed by more laughter and then Nancy left the building and didn't look back