Chapter 13
"There you are!"
Nancy put the apple she was about to steal back on the stand and turned round only to see Nicholas.
"I have been worried about you!" The relief he had felt when he had seen her at the market stall had been unbelieveable. She looked very ill. She was thin and wan and her skin had an almost translusante effect to it. The eyes were still empty it was as if she had had her very soul sucked out of her.
"You just left with out word…without a trace 3 days I've been searching!"
"Well now you've found me so what do you want?"
Why was she being like this? "What do I want? I want to know that you are safe and well so why don't you come to the Musain with me and we can have a meal and talk about an arrangement?" He smiled in effort to persuade her but to no avail.
"For a start no one asked you to come looking for me I'm not some lost puppy in the street. Second I cant afford to pay for a meal at the Musain and I ain't gonna take charity and third I know all about arrangements and they usually consist of you will share your house if I share your bed been there and done it, it don't work" this whole speech was in a flat toned voice that had no emotion and it reflected on the way she felt.
"Nance…"
"Don't call me that my name is Nancy" She hated Nance it reminded her too much of him.
Nicholas looked taken aback by this remark but carried on all he same
"Sorry Nancy, I don't want anything from you just the same as you don't want anything from me. I just want to help you. I don't know why but I just feel this need to make your life better. I understand that you've had a hard life and I know what being alone is like. But if we sick together as friends we won't be alone will we?"
"You ain't gonna let up are you?"
"Nope" he said with a boyish grin
"But you have to let me pay my way"
"But…erm…" at this Nicholas went as red as the apple that Nancy had been holding earlier
She sighed and laughed a sound that was music to his ears.
"Not like that I can get a job round here" she said looking round the market. He wasn't sure she was strong enough but agreed anyway. "Deal" he said with a smile
"Deal" she smiled back.
A month had passed and Nancy was as content as she could be without Bill. She had made friends with all the students for she had found out that's what they all were and her and Nicholas had become good friends.
It was late and Nicholas had returned from the usual ABC meetings.
Nicholas had loved every minute of the past month true she had not told him anything of her past and he still wasn't allowed to call her Nance but these were minor things. She got on well with all his friends particulally Courfeyrac which worried him no end as Courfeyrac had a reputaion with the ladys but as Nancy kept reminding him she wasn't a lady. The one thing he was worried about most though were his feelings for the young woman who now shared his room.
As the weeks passed Nicholas had wanted her more and more. In just four weeks he had felt like he had known her all her life. But try as he might to hint at the way he felt Nancy showed no interest in returning his affections.
He turned the key in the door as quiet as he could in fear of waking her should she be asleep only to find her sitting at the table with an empty bottle of gin in her hand. She smiled at him and waved the empty bottle "Hullo darlin' I got a bit bored so thoughts to entertain meself"
He walked towards her anger in his eyes how could she let herself get in this state? And why?
She saw the anger in his eyes and then it was not Nicholas she saw but Bill. Oh God not again she thought. She got up rather unsteadily and stumbled back over the chair and on to the floor she put her hands over her head and much to Feuilly's amazement started crying and pleading with him
"Please…Please don't thrash me again I couldn't bear it I know I said I'd never do it again but…I were so lonely Bill!"
Nicholas stopped dead. He was only going over to talk to her and the next thing he knew she was begging him not to beat her. And she called him Bill
She lay sobbing quietly to herself and muttering incoherent random thoughts and Nicholas bent down to help her and was left wondering once more what she had been through and also wondering left him wondering who was Bill?
He couldn't sleep. He glanced over to where the drunken girl who had captured his heart slept. For that was what she had done. He smiled to himself as the truth registered that he, Nicholas Feuilly, was in love! Now he knew why Marius bounded around like a puppy because he wanted to do exactly the same! The smile vanished. But would she have him? Could she accept him into her heart? God he hoped so he couldn't live ithout her. He hated leaving her in the morning all alone unprotected. He had been shocked when she had confessed that she was lonely. But he would change all that all he wanted was for her to be happy and loved like she deserved. But first he had to know her past. He couldn't help heal the scars if he didn't know what caused them. He would ask her in the morning. He was in love! He closed his eyes with a smile on his face and dreamed of all he wanted. Nancy.
Morning broke and Nancy stirred with a groan and a curse for her aching head.
"Morning" The cheery voice came from the other side of the room
"oh…yeah .. god!" She lifted her head saw his smiling face and collapsed back to the pillow and tried to let sleep overcome her once more. But once more his cheery voice cut through her groggy state.
"Nancy who's Bill?"
He had asked her as if he was asking what day it was but she was imediately awake and sitting up her hung over forgotten.
"What?"
"Last night you called me Bill and begged me not to thrash you again, who was he? Was he a… a pimp of yours?"
"No!" She shouted the word. She hadn't intended to but the thought of Bill being likend to a pimp made her feel ill.
"Ok I got that wrong then. So who was he?"
"Does it matter?"
"Nancy if he mattered to you then it matters to me" he paused and looked at her, she seemed to be having some inward struggle with herself.
"Bill is… was my lover. Well I was his it all depends on how you look at it."
Then it was as if a gateway opened inside her and the whole story of him and her poured out. The meeting, that night down by the canal when she had got drunk and he had taken his belt to her. The fights about babes. And the good times. When he had bought her boots and a new shawl one Christmas, and the time they went to the music hall. Each time she told him a good memory her face lit up and her eyes sparkled and even with the bad memories he could see she was happy just talking about him and his heart sank.
"So then I met you and here we are."
"You still love him don't you?"
"No" she lied. This man had been so kind so gentle she had seen the way he had looked at her she had no right to break his heart.
"Any love I had for Bill left me when I found out he was married. I had trusted him with my life and to lie…like that it was to much for me to bear."
"Do you… do you think your heart will mend?" He looked her in the eye and hoped she would get the jist of what he was asking.
"I think it will. With the right person around." She cared for Nicholas deeply and knew her chance with Bill had gone. She would be content with Nicholas. She may not be able to give him the love he wanted or deserved but she could try and she knew he would love her unconditionally. Wasn't that what she wanted?
Nicholas took her hands in his own "Nancy would you…oh God" his face went pale and his heart was leaping around in his chest "I love you... Would you marry me?" Please say yes he thought he had never prayed so hard in his life.
"Yes I will"then as an after thought she added "I love you too"
"There you are!"
Nancy put the apple she was about to steal back on the stand and turned round only to see Nicholas.
"I have been worried about you!" The relief he had felt when he had seen her at the market stall had been unbelieveable. She looked very ill. She was thin and wan and her skin had an almost translusante effect to it. The eyes were still empty it was as if she had had her very soul sucked out of her.
"You just left with out word…without a trace 3 days I've been searching!"
"Well now you've found me so what do you want?"
Why was she being like this? "What do I want? I want to know that you are safe and well so why don't you come to the Musain with me and we can have a meal and talk about an arrangement?" He smiled in effort to persuade her but to no avail.
"For a start no one asked you to come looking for me I'm not some lost puppy in the street. Second I cant afford to pay for a meal at the Musain and I ain't gonna take charity and third I know all about arrangements and they usually consist of you will share your house if I share your bed been there and done it, it don't work" this whole speech was in a flat toned voice that had no emotion and it reflected on the way she felt.
"Nance…"
"Don't call me that my name is Nancy" She hated Nance it reminded her too much of him.
Nicholas looked taken aback by this remark but carried on all he same
"Sorry Nancy, I don't want anything from you just the same as you don't want anything from me. I just want to help you. I don't know why but I just feel this need to make your life better. I understand that you've had a hard life and I know what being alone is like. But if we sick together as friends we won't be alone will we?"
"You ain't gonna let up are you?"
"Nope" he said with a boyish grin
"But you have to let me pay my way"
"But…erm…" at this Nicholas went as red as the apple that Nancy had been holding earlier
She sighed and laughed a sound that was music to his ears.
"Not like that I can get a job round here" she said looking round the market. He wasn't sure she was strong enough but agreed anyway. "Deal" he said with a smile
"Deal" she smiled back.
A month had passed and Nancy was as content as she could be without Bill. She had made friends with all the students for she had found out that's what they all were and her and Nicholas had become good friends.
It was late and Nicholas had returned from the usual ABC meetings.
Nicholas had loved every minute of the past month true she had not told him anything of her past and he still wasn't allowed to call her Nance but these were minor things. She got on well with all his friends particulally Courfeyrac which worried him no end as Courfeyrac had a reputaion with the ladys but as Nancy kept reminding him she wasn't a lady. The one thing he was worried about most though were his feelings for the young woman who now shared his room.
As the weeks passed Nicholas had wanted her more and more. In just four weeks he had felt like he had known her all her life. But try as he might to hint at the way he felt Nancy showed no interest in returning his affections.
He turned the key in the door as quiet as he could in fear of waking her should she be asleep only to find her sitting at the table with an empty bottle of gin in her hand. She smiled at him and waved the empty bottle "Hullo darlin' I got a bit bored so thoughts to entertain meself"
He walked towards her anger in his eyes how could she let herself get in this state? And why?
She saw the anger in his eyes and then it was not Nicholas she saw but Bill. Oh God not again she thought. She got up rather unsteadily and stumbled back over the chair and on to the floor she put her hands over her head and much to Feuilly's amazement started crying and pleading with him
"Please…Please don't thrash me again I couldn't bear it I know I said I'd never do it again but…I were so lonely Bill!"
Nicholas stopped dead. He was only going over to talk to her and the next thing he knew she was begging him not to beat her. And she called him Bill
She lay sobbing quietly to herself and muttering incoherent random thoughts and Nicholas bent down to help her and was left wondering once more what she had been through and also wondering left him wondering who was Bill?
He couldn't sleep. He glanced over to where the drunken girl who had captured his heart slept. For that was what she had done. He smiled to himself as the truth registered that he, Nicholas Feuilly, was in love! Now he knew why Marius bounded around like a puppy because he wanted to do exactly the same! The smile vanished. But would she have him? Could she accept him into her heart? God he hoped so he couldn't live ithout her. He hated leaving her in the morning all alone unprotected. He had been shocked when she had confessed that she was lonely. But he would change all that all he wanted was for her to be happy and loved like she deserved. But first he had to know her past. He couldn't help heal the scars if he didn't know what caused them. He would ask her in the morning. He was in love! He closed his eyes with a smile on his face and dreamed of all he wanted. Nancy.
Morning broke and Nancy stirred with a groan and a curse for her aching head.
"Morning" The cheery voice came from the other side of the room
"oh…yeah .. god!" She lifted her head saw his smiling face and collapsed back to the pillow and tried to let sleep overcome her once more. But once more his cheery voice cut through her groggy state.
"Nancy who's Bill?"
He had asked her as if he was asking what day it was but she was imediately awake and sitting up her hung over forgotten.
"What?"
"Last night you called me Bill and begged me not to thrash you again, who was he? Was he a… a pimp of yours?"
"No!" She shouted the word. She hadn't intended to but the thought of Bill being likend to a pimp made her feel ill.
"Ok I got that wrong then. So who was he?"
"Does it matter?"
"Nancy if he mattered to you then it matters to me" he paused and looked at her, she seemed to be having some inward struggle with herself.
"Bill is… was my lover. Well I was his it all depends on how you look at it."
Then it was as if a gateway opened inside her and the whole story of him and her poured out. The meeting, that night down by the canal when she had got drunk and he had taken his belt to her. The fights about babes. And the good times. When he had bought her boots and a new shawl one Christmas, and the time they went to the music hall. Each time she told him a good memory her face lit up and her eyes sparkled and even with the bad memories he could see she was happy just talking about him and his heart sank.
"So then I met you and here we are."
"You still love him don't you?"
"No" she lied. This man had been so kind so gentle she had seen the way he had looked at her she had no right to break his heart.
"Any love I had for Bill left me when I found out he was married. I had trusted him with my life and to lie…like that it was to much for me to bear."
"Do you… do you think your heart will mend?" He looked her in the eye and hoped she would get the jist of what he was asking.
"I think it will. With the right person around." She cared for Nicholas deeply and knew her chance with Bill had gone. She would be content with Nicholas. She may not be able to give him the love he wanted or deserved but she could try and she knew he would love her unconditionally. Wasn't that what she wanted?
Nicholas took her hands in his own "Nancy would you…oh God" his face went pale and his heart was leaping around in his chest "I love you... Would you marry me?" Please say yes he thought he had never prayed so hard in his life.
"Yes I will"then as an after thought she added "I love you too"