Chapter 14
The wedding was a small affair with the students for witnesses bar Grantaire who turned up at the reception. Nancy wore a cream dress that went down to the floor. She didn't have a veil but wore a ring of posies in her hair.
She didn't know how to feel. She was happy but at the same time sad as she knew after this day that all hope of being with Bill at all would be lost. God she loved him so much it hurt! She looked at the man beside her who was beaming with happiness. She couldn't go back to Bill even if she wanted to. She did not want to put Nicholas through the pain of losing someone he loved. It wasn't fair she reflected. She had been given this chance by fate to better herself and she should take it. Even if she was not completely grateful.
Nicholas thought his heart would burst. Nancy looked as pretty as a picture next to him and he was so proud that she was his he wanted to show her off, to shout at the would that she was now his wife! He must have done something right in his life to deserve this. He couldn't wait to go home and honor their wedding vows. And she loves me too, he thought, she really does. He gazed down at his bride again and smiled, she smiled back. If Nicholas hadn't been so besotted he would have seen that the smile wasn't completely a true one.
Finally the day drew to a close and they went home.
"So Mrs. Nancy Feuilly" smiled as he said it and pulled her onto his lap "Name sits well don't you think?"
"Very" She didn't think so at all but she had made up her mind she would play happy little wife to him to make him happy and hope he could not see past the fakeness.
He took her to the bed and although his passion heightened and he was fulfilled she felt none of it. It was as if he was another punter. Her body was crying out to be satisfied but it was still completely numb. But due to her old occupation she hid the fact that she felt nothing from him.
He fell asleep in her arms content and happy. She lay awake and cried quietly for her aching heart and body.
After 3 months of wedding bliss for Nicholas and heartache for Nancy she finally accepted that this would be her life and there was nothing she could do about it.
It wasn't that she didn't love Nicholas, she did but not with the passion she had felt for Bill it was more of a love you share with a friend. Still it wasn't all bad it could be worse she could be on the streets again and he never mistreated. In fact they never argued and it infuriated her. Some times she would try to goad him into a fight to get rid of her pent up emotions but he was so bloody democratic he never raised his voice to her let alone his hand. So she settled for what she got and stopped trying to draw him into fights and just blocked out her emotions. Everything she gave him was fake. The smiles, the laughs, the passion, the love and he thrived on it all. She had confessed to him that she believed she couldn't conceive but even that didn't bother him. Maybe if she had a child it would be different but she knew it wouldn't happen.
The wedding was a small affair with the students for witnesses bar Grantaire who turned up at the reception. Nancy wore a cream dress that went down to the floor. She didn't have a veil but wore a ring of posies in her hair.
She didn't know how to feel. She was happy but at the same time sad as she knew after this day that all hope of being with Bill at all would be lost. God she loved him so much it hurt! She looked at the man beside her who was beaming with happiness. She couldn't go back to Bill even if she wanted to. She did not want to put Nicholas through the pain of losing someone he loved. It wasn't fair she reflected. She had been given this chance by fate to better herself and she should take it. Even if she was not completely grateful.
Nicholas thought his heart would burst. Nancy looked as pretty as a picture next to him and he was so proud that she was his he wanted to show her off, to shout at the would that she was now his wife! He must have done something right in his life to deserve this. He couldn't wait to go home and honor their wedding vows. And she loves me too, he thought, she really does. He gazed down at his bride again and smiled, she smiled back. If Nicholas hadn't been so besotted he would have seen that the smile wasn't completely a true one.
Finally the day drew to a close and they went home.
"So Mrs. Nancy Feuilly" smiled as he said it and pulled her onto his lap "Name sits well don't you think?"
"Very" She didn't think so at all but she had made up her mind she would play happy little wife to him to make him happy and hope he could not see past the fakeness.
He took her to the bed and although his passion heightened and he was fulfilled she felt none of it. It was as if he was another punter. Her body was crying out to be satisfied but it was still completely numb. But due to her old occupation she hid the fact that she felt nothing from him.
He fell asleep in her arms content and happy. She lay awake and cried quietly for her aching heart and body.
After 3 months of wedding bliss for Nicholas and heartache for Nancy she finally accepted that this would be her life and there was nothing she could do about it.
It wasn't that she didn't love Nicholas, she did but not with the passion she had felt for Bill it was more of a love you share with a friend. Still it wasn't all bad it could be worse she could be on the streets again and he never mistreated. In fact they never argued and it infuriated her. Some times she would try to goad him into a fight to get rid of her pent up emotions but he was so bloody democratic he never raised his voice to her let alone his hand. So she settled for what she got and stopped trying to draw him into fights and just blocked out her emotions. Everything she gave him was fake. The smiles, the laughs, the passion, the love and he thrived on it all. She had confessed to him that she believed she couldn't conceive but even that didn't bother him. Maybe if she had a child it would be different but she knew it wouldn't happen.