Chapter 18.
Nancy felt like she had never left. Walking up Little Saffron Hill bought the Three Cripples, their…her regular into veiw.
She opened the door to the pub, she had not been here for over a year but nothing had changed.
She waltzed straight over to the bar, the first thing she would get was a large proper London gin
He was still there! "Hullo Barney I'll have me usual"
"Miss Nancy! I ain't seen you for ages or Bill how are you both?"
"I'm fine as for Bill I have no idea we ain't together no more." She paused and Barney, who had known Nancy since she was 5 and was dragged into this awful underworld in which he lived, saw the fliker of sadness cross her face "I had meself a little holiday with Fagin and the others…well all bar Charley"
"Yeah we heard about Charley still he is on the mend…slow thought it were but he-"
"He's alive? I kinda got the impression that that wasn't what Bill had…I mean it wasn't intended to be like that."
"Well there was a raid weren't there and this toff found Charley and took him home."
Nancy knew that the "toff" was Mr Brownlow and she was glad. Glad that Charley got a bit of happiness and love. With the thought of happiness and love the image of Nicholas had entered her mind. She thought of him a lot. She had been in England for two months and finally decided to go back to her old haunts to see if she could find Bet, Toby and some of the others she had left behind that fateful night a year ago.
"So 'ow is everyone then? Bet and Toby for a start." Suddenly behind her a chorus of sailors started singing a sea shanty brining the pub to life "God it's great to be back!"
"Bet will be glad to see yer"
"What about her? How is she? I missed her loads, didn't bother to write as Bet can't read nether can Tom so didn't think there was much point. Bet she's got a dozen kids ain't she? She's such a dear I can't wait to see her."
"Well your in luck coz she lives her now in me rooms upstairs- go on up gal surprise her"
She took the stairs two at a time and then she was outside the door of Bet's room. She knocked and waited. It seemed like an age before the door opened. But finally it did and there was her Bet plump and pretty as always.
Bet gasped in surprise when she opened the door. It was really Nancy! She looked so sad, and greif striken she wondered what Bill had done to her where ever they had been. She despised the man with every bone in her body, but because of the happiness she bought Nance she had kept her hate under the surface for her sakes. She looked at the girl now who was like a little sister to her and beamed with joy. "How are you Nancy?"She said with her arms out stretched and welcoming. Nancy finally felt like she was home and fell into Bet's arms sobbing with despair, the despair and pain that she had tried to block out for the past year.
"Nancy? Oh my God please..tell me whats wrong…" Bets heart went out to the girl who was crying in her arms. Something was not right, this wasn't the Nancy she had known, the Nancy she had known had always kept her emotions in check, but now, now Nancy was like a child who had lost a her mother, then Bet suddenly realized. Not a child who had lost its mother but a woman who had lost her lover. Why else would she be back looking so distruaght and unhappy?
"He left you then?" she said simply. She felt sorry for Nance but couldn't say she was sad it had happened.
"Yeah he bloody well left me" she cried "He not only left me but was married and had been for quite a while!" she paused to wipe the tears away "Then he came back and I left him coz I got knapped, I were so close to having a babe Bet it was like 'eaven!" Again the tears began to spill down her cheeks "I could feel it you know, but then it were gone again, just like all the others I had lost you would of thought I would have learnt how to cope wouldn't you?"
"Nance… you don't get over something like-" she cut Bet off unable to stop the words coming out of her mouth. She wanted some one else to tell her everything was going to be fine, wanted some one to share the heartache with.
"Then I met Nicholas, dear sweet Nicholas who had loved me like I'd never been loved before. God Bet he was so good to me! He married me," seeing Bet's look of surprise she added "Yeah I'm a married woman now you know, he even didn't mind that I was unable to give him children. And do you know what I did to repay him? I broke his heart!" She cried with renewed bitterness. "Bill showed up and Nicholas over heard me saying that I didn't love him. But then I told Bill I didn't love him and that I never wanted to see him again. But I do love Bill and now I come to think of it I love Nicholas too for being everything Bill is not and… and… god this is such a mess!" The last words were uttered bearly above a wisper and Nancy stopped crying as suddenly as she began.
"Well, I'll tell you one thing Nance you certainly do know how to make an entrance!" Bet laughed to try and lighten the mood, Nancy smiled but Bet saw the vacant eyes she had seen all them years ago when Bill had saved her from certain death.
"Now Nancy you listen to me, first off you are better without Bill, and before you argue you know it's true and second both Bill and this Nicholas are in France so you can carry on your life without both of them."
Nancy smiled back at Bet. In her head she knew Bet's words were smart but her heart wouldn't accept them. One thing her heart had accepted though was that she was in love with Nicholas.
Nancy felt like she had never left. Walking up Little Saffron Hill bought the Three Cripples, their…her regular into veiw.
She opened the door to the pub, she had not been here for over a year but nothing had changed.
She waltzed straight over to the bar, the first thing she would get was a large proper London gin
He was still there! "Hullo Barney I'll have me usual"
"Miss Nancy! I ain't seen you for ages or Bill how are you both?"
"I'm fine as for Bill I have no idea we ain't together no more." She paused and Barney, who had known Nancy since she was 5 and was dragged into this awful underworld in which he lived, saw the fliker of sadness cross her face "I had meself a little holiday with Fagin and the others…well all bar Charley"
"Yeah we heard about Charley still he is on the mend…slow thought it were but he-"
"He's alive? I kinda got the impression that that wasn't what Bill had…I mean it wasn't intended to be like that."
"Well there was a raid weren't there and this toff found Charley and took him home."
Nancy knew that the "toff" was Mr Brownlow and she was glad. Glad that Charley got a bit of happiness and love. With the thought of happiness and love the image of Nicholas had entered her mind. She thought of him a lot. She had been in England for two months and finally decided to go back to her old haunts to see if she could find Bet, Toby and some of the others she had left behind that fateful night a year ago.
"So 'ow is everyone then? Bet and Toby for a start." Suddenly behind her a chorus of sailors started singing a sea shanty brining the pub to life "God it's great to be back!"
"Bet will be glad to see yer"
"What about her? How is she? I missed her loads, didn't bother to write as Bet can't read nether can Tom so didn't think there was much point. Bet she's got a dozen kids ain't she? She's such a dear I can't wait to see her."
"Well your in luck coz she lives her now in me rooms upstairs- go on up gal surprise her"
She took the stairs two at a time and then she was outside the door of Bet's room. She knocked and waited. It seemed like an age before the door opened. But finally it did and there was her Bet plump and pretty as always.
Bet gasped in surprise when she opened the door. It was really Nancy! She looked so sad, and greif striken she wondered what Bill had done to her where ever they had been. She despised the man with every bone in her body, but because of the happiness she bought Nance she had kept her hate under the surface for her sakes. She looked at the girl now who was like a little sister to her and beamed with joy. "How are you Nancy?"She said with her arms out stretched and welcoming. Nancy finally felt like she was home and fell into Bet's arms sobbing with despair, the despair and pain that she had tried to block out for the past year.
"Nancy? Oh my God please..tell me whats wrong…" Bets heart went out to the girl who was crying in her arms. Something was not right, this wasn't the Nancy she had known, the Nancy she had known had always kept her emotions in check, but now, now Nancy was like a child who had lost a her mother, then Bet suddenly realized. Not a child who had lost its mother but a woman who had lost her lover. Why else would she be back looking so distruaght and unhappy?
"He left you then?" she said simply. She felt sorry for Nance but couldn't say she was sad it had happened.
"Yeah he bloody well left me" she cried "He not only left me but was married and had been for quite a while!" she paused to wipe the tears away "Then he came back and I left him coz I got knapped, I were so close to having a babe Bet it was like 'eaven!" Again the tears began to spill down her cheeks "I could feel it you know, but then it were gone again, just like all the others I had lost you would of thought I would have learnt how to cope wouldn't you?"
"Nance… you don't get over something like-" she cut Bet off unable to stop the words coming out of her mouth. She wanted some one else to tell her everything was going to be fine, wanted some one to share the heartache with.
"Then I met Nicholas, dear sweet Nicholas who had loved me like I'd never been loved before. God Bet he was so good to me! He married me," seeing Bet's look of surprise she added "Yeah I'm a married woman now you know, he even didn't mind that I was unable to give him children. And do you know what I did to repay him? I broke his heart!" She cried with renewed bitterness. "Bill showed up and Nicholas over heard me saying that I didn't love him. But then I told Bill I didn't love him and that I never wanted to see him again. But I do love Bill and now I come to think of it I love Nicholas too for being everything Bill is not and… and… god this is such a mess!" The last words were uttered bearly above a wisper and Nancy stopped crying as suddenly as she began.
"Well, I'll tell you one thing Nance you certainly do know how to make an entrance!" Bet laughed to try and lighten the mood, Nancy smiled but Bet saw the vacant eyes she had seen all them years ago when Bill had saved her from certain death.
"Now Nancy you listen to me, first off you are better without Bill, and before you argue you know it's true and second both Bill and this Nicholas are in France so you can carry on your life without both of them."
Nancy smiled back at Bet. In her head she knew Bet's words were smart but her heart wouldn't accept them. One thing her heart had accepted though was that she was in love with Nicholas.