Chapter 19
The need for Gin consumed Nancy. Bet had said she could stay with her as Tom had died of consumption shortly after she had left. For the first month Bet was glad of Nancy's company it was like old times. The girls would chat until the early hours of the morning but Nancy wasn't how she used to be before she met Bill and even after, she had told Bet the whole story of the past from the moment she had woke up on the boat to when she had left Nicholas.
Bet had listened as a big sister does, she even shed a tear at the end, but Nancy remained blank and unfeeling as if she was giving Bet a quick recount of a day at work, not the harrowing story of how she had loved and lost two men.
Barney got Nancy a job in The Three Cripples as a barmaid and all outward signs showed that she was happy and content. But she was miserable. She felt the great emptiness that she had felt the night she was going to end it all, the same emptiness she had felt on her wedding day and the same emptiness she had felt when she had said goodbye to Bill, and then Nicholas.
It was in the second month that she started drinking. It started of as one glass a night, just to fortify herself she said to Bet
"Well Nance just don't over do it right, you know it don't agree with ya."
"For Gods sakes Bet I ain't a baby if I want to drink I'll drink!"
So she did. The glass a night turned to 3 or 4 glasses and very soon a bottle, Barney caught on and had to let her go.
" I'm sorry Nance but I can't have me staff drunker then the customers, besides you helping yourself is eatin' in to me profits"
"Well Barney" she slurred, it was only morning and yet she had worked her way through half a bottle already "I shall go, but you know don't come running to me when you realize you have lost the greatest barmaid in the world!" as she said this last bit she threw up her hands in great exclamation and laughed then stumbled out of the pub and on to the street.
Nicholas had never been out of Paris before let alone France. The sight that greeted him shocked him to the core. At first glance he could have been in Paris but then, examined more closely, he saw the overall dirtiness and grubbiness of the vast city. And so crowded! Paris wasn't exactly spacious he reflected but it was a pretty city, the sight before him was just plain ugly.
He had decided on the spur of the moment, much to his friends disgust, that he would not be able to join the crusade. He had to find Nancy. Despite all that had happened he still loved her and felt like he wasn't complete unless she was near. True she might never accept him into her heart but he had to try. Nicholas looked round the ship observing the other pasangers. One boy particulally stood out. Maybe Nicholas noticed him because he had that same happy-go-lucky look about him as Nancy had had that first night he had seen her in the inn. He turned to his companion it was then Nicholas realized who his companion was.
"Great to be back ain't it Bill? Good ol' Lunnon!"
"Yeah it ain't half bad" Dodger turned to Bill, this bloke ain't what he used to be he thought.
"Why did you require me services anyway?"
"Well you find people don't ya?"
"Well yeah if I know who I'm looking for."
"Well who do you think? It's Nance you idiot! This is the only place she could be so here we are and you are gonna find her."
"But what if…" he hesitated, Bill had a temper he knew for how many blows had he had on this short trip alone? "What if she don't want to be found." He tensed in anticipation, expecting a clip around the head. But nothing.
"This is me last hope" he said quietly "If…if she ain't bothered with me after this then I'll leave her be"
The sadness in his voice was unmistakable.
So, Nicholas thought, Bill has the same idea as me. I have to get to her first, make her change her mind, no, her heart. But how in God's name would he know where to start? His gaze shifted back to London which was drawing nearer by the second. He was one step closer to having her in his arms again he thought with a smile.
Nancy stared out towards the Thames, the cool breeze did nothing to aid her drunken state and she immediately felt ill and regretted drinking so much, as she did every morning these days.
Her eyes focused on a ship that was pulling up to the Hulk. "Another load of lives for London to ruin" She muttered to the great river "Another ship full of people who will have their lives destroyed or go wrong in some way. Wrong like mine. What went wrong any how? First I have no one then I have two people then again I have no one. It isn't fair." She looked up towards the sky. She had never been a believer of God but she felt she had to blame someone and it was with Him she would lay the blame. "It isn't fair!!" She screamed the statement much to the disturbance of passers-by. Bet was by her side in an instant for these days she was never far away and Nancy couldn't stand it. She felt like she was suffocating, not just from Bet's watchful eye but from the loneliness that was engulfing her more and more everyday.
"Nance?" She felt the arms go round her shoulders in attempt to comfort her once again "Nance what is it love? Come on tell me and we can sort it out."
"No, no WE can't sort anything out I though, I can sort it all out"
"What ever do you mean Nance?"
"Nothing…I… Bet I don't feel to good I think I better go home."
Bet took the girl home and put her to bed. Nancy closed her eyes but was far from sleep for the plan had all ready formed in her mind. Yes she would sort it all out once and for all.
The need for Gin consumed Nancy. Bet had said she could stay with her as Tom had died of consumption shortly after she had left. For the first month Bet was glad of Nancy's company it was like old times. The girls would chat until the early hours of the morning but Nancy wasn't how she used to be before she met Bill and even after, she had told Bet the whole story of the past from the moment she had woke up on the boat to when she had left Nicholas.
Bet had listened as a big sister does, she even shed a tear at the end, but Nancy remained blank and unfeeling as if she was giving Bet a quick recount of a day at work, not the harrowing story of how she had loved and lost two men.
Barney got Nancy a job in The Three Cripples as a barmaid and all outward signs showed that she was happy and content. But she was miserable. She felt the great emptiness that she had felt the night she was going to end it all, the same emptiness she had felt on her wedding day and the same emptiness she had felt when she had said goodbye to Bill, and then Nicholas.
It was in the second month that she started drinking. It started of as one glass a night, just to fortify herself she said to Bet
"Well Nance just don't over do it right, you know it don't agree with ya."
"For Gods sakes Bet I ain't a baby if I want to drink I'll drink!"
So she did. The glass a night turned to 3 or 4 glasses and very soon a bottle, Barney caught on and had to let her go.
" I'm sorry Nance but I can't have me staff drunker then the customers, besides you helping yourself is eatin' in to me profits"
"Well Barney" she slurred, it was only morning and yet she had worked her way through half a bottle already "I shall go, but you know don't come running to me when you realize you have lost the greatest barmaid in the world!" as she said this last bit she threw up her hands in great exclamation and laughed then stumbled out of the pub and on to the street.
Nicholas had never been out of Paris before let alone France. The sight that greeted him shocked him to the core. At first glance he could have been in Paris but then, examined more closely, he saw the overall dirtiness and grubbiness of the vast city. And so crowded! Paris wasn't exactly spacious he reflected but it was a pretty city, the sight before him was just plain ugly.
He had decided on the spur of the moment, much to his friends disgust, that he would not be able to join the crusade. He had to find Nancy. Despite all that had happened he still loved her and felt like he wasn't complete unless she was near. True she might never accept him into her heart but he had to try. Nicholas looked round the ship observing the other pasangers. One boy particulally stood out. Maybe Nicholas noticed him because he had that same happy-go-lucky look about him as Nancy had had that first night he had seen her in the inn. He turned to his companion it was then Nicholas realized who his companion was.
"Great to be back ain't it Bill? Good ol' Lunnon!"
"Yeah it ain't half bad" Dodger turned to Bill, this bloke ain't what he used to be he thought.
"Why did you require me services anyway?"
"Well you find people don't ya?"
"Well yeah if I know who I'm looking for."
"Well who do you think? It's Nance you idiot! This is the only place she could be so here we are and you are gonna find her."
"But what if…" he hesitated, Bill had a temper he knew for how many blows had he had on this short trip alone? "What if she don't want to be found." He tensed in anticipation, expecting a clip around the head. But nothing.
"This is me last hope" he said quietly "If…if she ain't bothered with me after this then I'll leave her be"
The sadness in his voice was unmistakable.
So, Nicholas thought, Bill has the same idea as me. I have to get to her first, make her change her mind, no, her heart. But how in God's name would he know where to start? His gaze shifted back to London which was drawing nearer by the second. He was one step closer to having her in his arms again he thought with a smile.
Nancy stared out towards the Thames, the cool breeze did nothing to aid her drunken state and she immediately felt ill and regretted drinking so much, as she did every morning these days.
Her eyes focused on a ship that was pulling up to the Hulk. "Another load of lives for London to ruin" She muttered to the great river "Another ship full of people who will have their lives destroyed or go wrong in some way. Wrong like mine. What went wrong any how? First I have no one then I have two people then again I have no one. It isn't fair." She looked up towards the sky. She had never been a believer of God but she felt she had to blame someone and it was with Him she would lay the blame. "It isn't fair!!" She screamed the statement much to the disturbance of passers-by. Bet was by her side in an instant for these days she was never far away and Nancy couldn't stand it. She felt like she was suffocating, not just from Bet's watchful eye but from the loneliness that was engulfing her more and more everyday.
"Nance?" She felt the arms go round her shoulders in attempt to comfort her once again "Nance what is it love? Come on tell me and we can sort it out."
"No, no WE can't sort anything out I though, I can sort it all out"
"What ever do you mean Nance?"
"Nothing…I… Bet I don't feel to good I think I better go home."
Bet took the girl home and put her to bed. Nancy closed her eyes but was far from sleep for the plan had all ready formed in her mind. Yes she would sort it all out once and for all.