The Counselor
By: Jessica R Vance
Rating: PG
Summary: Alonzo and Bombalurina have a talk.
Disclaimer: Bite me.
~*~
The voluptuous crimson queen fluttered her lips and sighed lazily. It had been a long day, and she was feeling a little tired. Shaking one's hips is hard work.
"Sleepy, O Lovely One?"
"Go away, Alonzo."
The black and white tom pouted like a kitten. "Aww... is that any way to talk to a fan?"
"Alonzo..."
He lept up onto the car with her and curled up. "Yes dear?"
"Where's Cassandra? Shouldn't you be with her?"
"Is there a rule that says I have to be with my mate every second of every hour of-"
"Point taken. Now go away."
Alonzo sniffled. "Bomby..." he whined, nuzzling her playfully, "Don't you want me around?" He curled up around her. "Around and around?"
The queen growled menacingly. "What do you want?"
"Why, to be with you, O Angel of the Junk. What else?" He grinned cheekily and purred, "What do *you* want?"
"Angel of the Junk?" Bombalurina exclaimed indignantly, "What is *that* supposed to mean?"
"Whatever you want it to mean, O Sunflower of the Pile. And now I must be off. Dinner time." He smacked his lips. "I'll bring you something in a doggy bag if you like."
"Get lost."
And so he did.
~*~
"What took you so long?" Cassandra asked her mate.
"Ah, I had to stop by the yard and terrorize my girl."
"I do wish you'd leave Bomby alone. You really get under her fur, you know."
"Of course I know, babe. That's why I do it. What's for dinner?" Cassandra sighed and threw a tin of cat food to him.
"Open it yourself, *babe.*"
"Cassie!" Alonzo cried, staring at his paws. Ever since the butcher had caught him stealing that sausage, he had been having trouble using his claws. He could barely scratch at a rat, much less get a can of food open. "Cassie!" he whined again.
Sighing, his mate took the food from him. "Remind me why I dote on you again?" she asked as she opened it.
"Because I'm so irresistably adorable," he purred, taking it from her. "Cheers."
"My hero."
"Ya know," Alonzo smacked, his mouth full of Whiskers, "I don' undastand why you get sho worked up abou' me meffin' wif Bomby."
"Alonzo!" the Burmese reprimanded him with a sharp glare, "You rude cat!"
Swallowing his meal in a big gulp, the patched cat gave her a cheeky grin. "Thank you much, ma'am. Now as I was saying, I don't know why you get so worked up about me messing with Bomby. It's all in fun, you know."
"All in fun to you. I've actually gotten complaints."
"Well now why did she come to you?"
"It wasn't Bomby, it was Munkustrap."
"... Uh-oh."
"Uh-oh is right. Apparently Bomby has complained to Tugger, Tugger complained to Munku, and Munku felt it necessary to come to me. Don't ask me why. Apparently the whole tribe thinks that I can keep you under control." Alonzo belched loudly. "As if *that* could ever happen."
"Yeah, I'm a wild and free spirit all right," he sighed, grinning. "So what did ol' Munku have to say about me?"
"Well certainly not how dashing you were," Cassandra sighed, wiping a stray bit of food from his lip. "If memory serves, he said something about if he gets any more complaints, he'll have to have a talk with you personally."
"Oy."
"Exactly. Basically, stop being a bad boy or you'll be put in the corner."
"You say that like I'm a kitten."
"Well, naturally."
He sighed. "Thanks, mum."
~*~
"What's wrong, Sweetpea?"
"Where *do* you come up with these names?"
"I'm a genius. It comes naturally." Alonzo sat down next to Bomby. "You look depressed. What's up?" He looked closely at her.
"Outta my face," she muttered laying on her side with her back to the calico.
Now this worried Alonzo. Bombalurina, without a snappy comeback? It was unheard of. "Come on, Bomby, what's wrong?"
"What's this? No stupid nickname?"
"Not when I'm worried."
The queen glanced over her shoulder. "Worried? About *moi?* Puh. I'm flattered." Her head sunk back to the ground with a sigh.
"Bomby..." Alonzo tried again, nudging her slightly. Bomby responded with a low growl. "OK, OK, I get it." With that, he walked around her and sat down in front of her. "I'll just sit here then."
A few minutes passed. "What are you doing?"
"Sitting here."
"Why?"
"Nice place to sit. Good view. Nice weather. Tell me what's wrong."
"Why do you care?" the seductress sighed, "You'll just make fun of me anyway."
"Oh, now would I do that?" Alonzo purred, grinning.
"You're doing it right now."
"Oh yeah. Well, just tell me anyway. I promise I won't make fun. Promise promise." Bomby looked up at him skeptically. "With a cherry," he added.
"Well, since you added a *cherry...*" Alonzo grinned hopefully. "No."
"Aw man!" The tom fumed for a few seconds, then decided to try a different tactic. "How about if I try to *guess* what's wrong?"
Bombalurina sighed. "Oh, all right." She averted her eyes from his, looking everywhere but at him. "It's... it's Tugger," she confessed.
"I should have known," Alonzo chuckled, "What'd he do now?"
"I saw him with a queen."
"... And this surprises you because...?"
"No, it's just... well... just because it's common doesn't mean I have to like it, does it?"
The tom nodded. "I see your point. What was he doing with the queen? Who was it?"
Bomby shrugged. "I don't know, I've never seen her before."
"... Was she pretty?"
"ALONZO!!!"
Alonzo laughed as he dodged her claws. "Aw, I'm sorry, Angel! Couldn't resist. Anyway, maybe you misunderstood what was going on, eh?"
"I don't think so. You know him."
"Unfortunately," Alonzo muttered, rolling his eyes. "Do you want me to have a talk with him?"
"No! Are you crazy!?" Bomby frowned, "He'd think I was some sort of psychotic, jealous..." She trailed off when she noticed Alonzo grinning quite evilly at her. "What?"
"Sorry to burst your bubble, but you *are* a psychotic- OW!" He rubbed his arm, where the queen had slapped him. Hard. "Owie!"
"Well, you deserved it!" Bombalurina hissed. He looked at her with big doe eyes. She sighed. "Sorry. No, don't talk to him. I've put up with his flaunting himself for a long time, I'm used to it."
"That doesn't mean you have to put up with it!" Alonzo exclaimed, suddenly defensive, "If you're going to have a relationship with someone, there's this little thing called *compromise* that you have to do."
"Not with Tugger. I don't even think he knows what that means. Everything is his way or the highway."
"... Then why do you stick around?"
Bombalurina considered this. Why *did* she stay with Tugger? "I can't explain it," she sighed, "I just... sometimes I feel like he needs me, ya know?" She bowed her head. "I dunno."
Alonzo smiled, gently for once, and not poking fun. "You might want to think about it. You deserve better than a tom you can't trust." Bomby looked up at him. " For all my joking around... I actually do care about you, you know. In a sister-type way, don't get any ideas," he warned her, "Cassie's my only girl."
Bombalurina laughed lightly. "Don't worry." There was silence for a minute, then the red queen shook her head. "I can't believe I'm saying this. ... Thanks, Alonzo."
A mile-wide smile graced the handsome tom's face. "No problem, sweet stuff. Always willing to help." He batted her gently on the head and scampered off. She watched him run off and shook her head.
~*~
"I haven't gotten any complaints lately. Have you been behaving yourself?" Cassandra asked in a motherly tone.
"Always, my dear," Alonzo answered, grinning, "Always."
The End! ^.^
By: Jessica R Vance
Rating: PG
Summary: Alonzo and Bombalurina have a talk.
Disclaimer: Bite me.
~*~
The voluptuous crimson queen fluttered her lips and sighed lazily. It had been a long day, and she was feeling a little tired. Shaking one's hips is hard work.
"Sleepy, O Lovely One?"
"Go away, Alonzo."
The black and white tom pouted like a kitten. "Aww... is that any way to talk to a fan?"
"Alonzo..."
He lept up onto the car with her and curled up. "Yes dear?"
"Where's Cassandra? Shouldn't you be with her?"
"Is there a rule that says I have to be with my mate every second of every hour of-"
"Point taken. Now go away."
Alonzo sniffled. "Bomby..." he whined, nuzzling her playfully, "Don't you want me around?" He curled up around her. "Around and around?"
The queen growled menacingly. "What do you want?"
"Why, to be with you, O Angel of the Junk. What else?" He grinned cheekily and purred, "What do *you* want?"
"Angel of the Junk?" Bombalurina exclaimed indignantly, "What is *that* supposed to mean?"
"Whatever you want it to mean, O Sunflower of the Pile. And now I must be off. Dinner time." He smacked his lips. "I'll bring you something in a doggy bag if you like."
"Get lost."
And so he did.
~*~
"What took you so long?" Cassandra asked her mate.
"Ah, I had to stop by the yard and terrorize my girl."
"I do wish you'd leave Bomby alone. You really get under her fur, you know."
"Of course I know, babe. That's why I do it. What's for dinner?" Cassandra sighed and threw a tin of cat food to him.
"Open it yourself, *babe.*"
"Cassie!" Alonzo cried, staring at his paws. Ever since the butcher had caught him stealing that sausage, he had been having trouble using his claws. He could barely scratch at a rat, much less get a can of food open. "Cassie!" he whined again.
Sighing, his mate took the food from him. "Remind me why I dote on you again?" she asked as she opened it.
"Because I'm so irresistably adorable," he purred, taking it from her. "Cheers."
"My hero."
"Ya know," Alonzo smacked, his mouth full of Whiskers, "I don' undastand why you get sho worked up abou' me meffin' wif Bomby."
"Alonzo!" the Burmese reprimanded him with a sharp glare, "You rude cat!"
Swallowing his meal in a big gulp, the patched cat gave her a cheeky grin. "Thank you much, ma'am. Now as I was saying, I don't know why you get so worked up about me messing with Bomby. It's all in fun, you know."
"All in fun to you. I've actually gotten complaints."
"Well now why did she come to you?"
"It wasn't Bomby, it was Munkustrap."
"... Uh-oh."
"Uh-oh is right. Apparently Bomby has complained to Tugger, Tugger complained to Munku, and Munku felt it necessary to come to me. Don't ask me why. Apparently the whole tribe thinks that I can keep you under control." Alonzo belched loudly. "As if *that* could ever happen."
"Yeah, I'm a wild and free spirit all right," he sighed, grinning. "So what did ol' Munku have to say about me?"
"Well certainly not how dashing you were," Cassandra sighed, wiping a stray bit of food from his lip. "If memory serves, he said something about if he gets any more complaints, he'll have to have a talk with you personally."
"Oy."
"Exactly. Basically, stop being a bad boy or you'll be put in the corner."
"You say that like I'm a kitten."
"Well, naturally."
He sighed. "Thanks, mum."
~*~
"What's wrong, Sweetpea?"
"Where *do* you come up with these names?"
"I'm a genius. It comes naturally." Alonzo sat down next to Bomby. "You look depressed. What's up?" He looked closely at her.
"Outta my face," she muttered laying on her side with her back to the calico.
Now this worried Alonzo. Bombalurina, without a snappy comeback? It was unheard of. "Come on, Bomby, what's wrong?"
"What's this? No stupid nickname?"
"Not when I'm worried."
The queen glanced over her shoulder. "Worried? About *moi?* Puh. I'm flattered." Her head sunk back to the ground with a sigh.
"Bomby..." Alonzo tried again, nudging her slightly. Bomby responded with a low growl. "OK, OK, I get it." With that, he walked around her and sat down in front of her. "I'll just sit here then."
A few minutes passed. "What are you doing?"
"Sitting here."
"Why?"
"Nice place to sit. Good view. Nice weather. Tell me what's wrong."
"Why do you care?" the seductress sighed, "You'll just make fun of me anyway."
"Oh, now would I do that?" Alonzo purred, grinning.
"You're doing it right now."
"Oh yeah. Well, just tell me anyway. I promise I won't make fun. Promise promise." Bomby looked up at him skeptically. "With a cherry," he added.
"Well, since you added a *cherry...*" Alonzo grinned hopefully. "No."
"Aw man!" The tom fumed for a few seconds, then decided to try a different tactic. "How about if I try to *guess* what's wrong?"
Bombalurina sighed. "Oh, all right." She averted her eyes from his, looking everywhere but at him. "It's... it's Tugger," she confessed.
"I should have known," Alonzo chuckled, "What'd he do now?"
"I saw him with a queen."
"... And this surprises you because...?"
"No, it's just... well... just because it's common doesn't mean I have to like it, does it?"
The tom nodded. "I see your point. What was he doing with the queen? Who was it?"
Bomby shrugged. "I don't know, I've never seen her before."
"... Was she pretty?"
"ALONZO!!!"
Alonzo laughed as he dodged her claws. "Aw, I'm sorry, Angel! Couldn't resist. Anyway, maybe you misunderstood what was going on, eh?"
"I don't think so. You know him."
"Unfortunately," Alonzo muttered, rolling his eyes. "Do you want me to have a talk with him?"
"No! Are you crazy!?" Bomby frowned, "He'd think I was some sort of psychotic, jealous..." She trailed off when she noticed Alonzo grinning quite evilly at her. "What?"
"Sorry to burst your bubble, but you *are* a psychotic- OW!" He rubbed his arm, where the queen had slapped him. Hard. "Owie!"
"Well, you deserved it!" Bombalurina hissed. He looked at her with big doe eyes. She sighed. "Sorry. No, don't talk to him. I've put up with his flaunting himself for a long time, I'm used to it."
"That doesn't mean you have to put up with it!" Alonzo exclaimed, suddenly defensive, "If you're going to have a relationship with someone, there's this little thing called *compromise* that you have to do."
"Not with Tugger. I don't even think he knows what that means. Everything is his way or the highway."
"... Then why do you stick around?"
Bombalurina considered this. Why *did* she stay with Tugger? "I can't explain it," she sighed, "I just... sometimes I feel like he needs me, ya know?" She bowed her head. "I dunno."
Alonzo smiled, gently for once, and not poking fun. "You might want to think about it. You deserve better than a tom you can't trust." Bomby looked up at him. " For all my joking around... I actually do care about you, you know. In a sister-type way, don't get any ideas," he warned her, "Cassie's my only girl."
Bombalurina laughed lightly. "Don't worry." There was silence for a minute, then the red queen shook her head. "I can't believe I'm saying this. ... Thanks, Alonzo."
A mile-wide smile graced the handsome tom's face. "No problem, sweet stuff. Always willing to help." He batted her gently on the head and scampered off. She watched him run off and shook her head.
~*~
"I haven't gotten any complaints lately. Have you been behaving yourself?" Cassandra asked in a motherly tone.
"Always, my dear," Alonzo answered, grinning, "Always."
The End! ^.^