If Not Wisely
Chapter 2: The Day After
Spoilers: Begins immediately post-Wrecked, becomes AU after that.
Rating: R for swearing and some sexual situations.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Feedback: Would be highly appreciated. This is my first attempt at fanfic, and I'd like to know how I'm doing. Constructive criticism is welcome.
Distribution: So far, just here. If anyone wants it, just let me know.
Summary: Buffy continues to struggle with her feelings for Spike, and the whole gang tries to help Willow with her abuse of magic.
Buffy was dreaming. She was in an old, abandoned house. The walls were falling down around her, yet there was no noise. She could see the beams smashing to the ground and chunks of wall crumbling, but they made no sound. She tried to move, tired to run, but she couldn't. She just stood there paralyzed. Suddenly, a large beam was crashing in her direction. Unable to move, it hit her full in the chest, and she fell to the floor trapped under its weight. The force of the blow knocked the breath right out of her, and the pain made it difficult to draw in another. She tried to will her arms to move, to push this heavy thing off of her, but to no avail. She had mustered up all of her strength and was prepared to give it her all when the beam was suddenly lifted off of her. Startled, but extremely grateful, she looked up into the face of her salvation. Piercing blue eyes met her gaze, and a strong white hand reached out to her. He had saved her.
"Buffy! Buffy, wake up!" Dawn reached down to put a hand on her sister's shoulder, hoping to shake her awake. She let out a small cry of shock when Buffy's arm suddenly shot out and grabbed her hand. She tried to pull her hand out of her sister's grasp, but Buffy held on tightly. "Ow! You're hurting me," she shrieked.
Buffy's eyes immediately flew open. Something was wrong. That wasn't his voice. No, it was all wrong. Her eyes finally focused, and her little sister swam into view. "Dawnie? Oh, Dawnie, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
"Oh yeah, I'm just great. Now, in addition to my broken arm, all the bones in my good hand are crushed as well."
Realizing that, if her sister was well enough to be bratty, then she must not be hurt too badly, Buffy sat up with a grimace. "Jeez, Dawn! Exaggerate much? Your hand is not..." before she could even finish, the full weight of her sister's statement sunk in. Her arm. Dawnie's arm had been broken. "Are you okay? I forgot about your arm. Oh my God, I am so sorry. Are you okay?"
Dawn's scowl softened when she realized that her sister was genuinely upset. "It's okay, you didn't really hurt me. It's just that my arm is totally throbbing, and the painkillers that the ER doctor gave me wore off hours ago. I tried to let you sleep as long as possible, but I really need more pills. Can we go fill that prescription now?"
"Of course Dawnie. We'll go do that right away." Buffy threw the covers back and eased her legs off the side of the bed. "Just give me a few minutes to--oh my God!" She suddenly caught sight of the bedside clock and was shocked by what she saw. "It's 2:30? Why didn't you wake me up sooner? I can't believe that I slept this late."
"No big. I figured you must be pretty tired if you hadn't gotten up on your own. Besides, you deserved a good rest. Thanks for taking care of me last night. And for saving me. I was so scared. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't shown up when you did. I--"
"Dawn," Buffy broke in, reaching for the girl and pulling her into a hug. "Don't think about it. I was there, and you're safe now. That's all that matters." She softly stroked Dawn's hair as she spoke, seeking reassurance that her sister was, indeed, fine.
Dawn smiled into Buffy's shoulder. "Yeah, you were there like always. You and Spike. I can always count on you guys."
At the mention of the blond vampire's name, Buffy stiffened. She was suddenly assaulted by memories of last night's vigil and her all too recent dream. She pulled away from her sister and plastered a smile on her face before saying, "I will always be there for you Dawn. Now, let me get dressed and I will run right over to the pharmacy and get your pills. Okay?"
"Sure, whatever, " shrugged Dawn. "I'm feeling much better now that you're up. It really sucks being all alone with a throbbing, broken arm."
"All alone? What do you mean, `all alone'? Where's Willow?"
"Willow!" Dawn was indignant. "You think I'd let that bitch within ten feet of me after what she did?"
"Dawn! Don't talk about Willow that way. She's our friend." Despite the anger that she herself had felt for Willow the night before, Buffy was truly shocked to hear her little sister talk about their friend that way.
"Oh, please!" Dawn rolled her eyes. "Buffy, come on, she took me to some sort of invisible, magical crack house! She left me to sit in that disgusting, dingy waiting room with a bunch of stung out magic junkies. For hours! And then, when she finally does come out, she leads me all around the scariest, darkest alleys in Sunnydale only to have us chased by some creepy demon that she created." Dawn's voice was starting to crack, and Buffy could see the tears welling up in her eyes. She reached out a hand to try and comfort her sister, but Dawn shrugged her off and continued her rant. "And don't forget the part where she stole a car using magic and crashed it into a wall, breaking my arm in the process!" Dawn held up the arm in question, showing off her new purple cast. "Don't tell me how I can or cannot talk about her! You're not the one that she almost got killed! I am! I'm the one who--" suddenly, it all became too much for Dawn, and she collapsed onto the bed and burst into
tears.
Feeling the ache that had been steadily growing in her stomach develop into a full-blown pain, Buffy rushed to comfort her sobbing sister. "Shh, Dawnie, it's okay," she murmured. "I won't let her hurt you ever again. I promise." As she softly crooned words of comfort to the sobbing girl, Buffy felt her anger return. Willow definitely had a serious problem, and she had gone too far this time. She had almost cost Buffy the one thing in this world that was the most important to her. She would have to tell the rest of the gang about this. They would have to find some way to help her. Despite Willow's cries and pleas of the night before, Buffy wasn't entirely sure that the witch was ready to give up magic. In reality, she wasn't even sure if Willow could give up magic. Hopefully, it wouldn't be too late to save her.
Eventually, Dawn's cries subsided, and she sat up and rubbed her reddened eyes. "I didn't mean to shout at you Buffy. It's just that...Well, I can't forgive her for what she did. At least not now. But, if it makes you feel any better, I will refrain from calling her names."
Buffy laughed and pulled her sister into another hug. "You call her anything you want, Dawnie. You're right; she does deserve it. But don't worry. I'm gonna put a stop to it. Willow will not hurt anyone else with her out-of-control magic. Not if I have anything to say about it. Okay?"
Dawn managed a weak smile and struggled to say, "Okay."
"Good. Now that we've made that clear, just give me a sec to get changed, and then we'll go get your pills. I mean, if you're up to it. There might even be a milkshake in it for ya. What do you say?"
This time, Dawn smiled for real. "I say, you're on! I want the biggest milkshake that money can buy!"
"You got it kid," laughed Buffy, grabbing her sister in a headlock and proceeding to give her a noogie.
Dawn squealed in protest. "I am not a kid! Hey, no fair! Slayer strength! Let me go! Arghh..."
******************************************
Spike was pacing in his crypt. Furiously, he walked back and forth, muttering under his breath and cursing the sunlight. "Bloody Hell! Sodding California, the bleeding sunshine state, indeed." He desperately wanted to get out of his dark, dank crypt and check up on the Nibblet. He had been so worried about her last night, and finding out that a broken arm was the extent of her injuries did not do much to abate his fears. If only the bleeding sun would go down, he could go to her and make sure that she was all right.
Spike stopped his frantic pacing and paused to light a cigarette. Inhaling deeply, he began to mull over the events of the previous night. He could not believe how bad Red had gotten. All summer long, he had worked beside her, and he had seen her powers grow by leaps and bounds. It had frightened him, and Spike was not one to scare easily. He barely recognized the person that she was turning into. He remembered when he had first met her, back when the Scoobies had still been in high school. She had been a quiet little bookworm then, afraid of her own shadow. Hell, he remembered that time he had tried to bite her, when he had first found out about the sodding chip that those soldier boys had put in his head. Willow had been devastated when he failed to bite her and had assumed that she was somehow unworthy of being bitten. That had only been a few years ago, yet she was so different now. So...hard.
Spike resumed his pacing and continued puffing on his cigarette. Yeah, Red was definitely out of control. Bringing back Buffy had been the beginning of the end for her. She was sliding down a seriously slippery slope, and none of her mates had even seemed to notice. Then again, the whole lot of them had always been pretty self- involved. He appeared to be the only one who saw that she was relying too heavily on magic and seemed to be almost drunk on her power. Spike momentarily paused his pacing. Come to think of it, her lover must have been picking up on it too. He had noticed that Tara had become increasingly uncomfortable every time Willow mentioned a spell, and he had picked up on some serious tension between them more than once. Willow's erasing all of their memories had been the last straw for her.
Spike threw his spent cigarette to the ground and crushed it under the heel of his boot. Thinking about that day when Red's spell had gone all wonky caused a small pang of regret to rise within him. For those few short hours when everyone had forgotten who they were, he had finally felt the one thing that he longed for most, acceptance. The whole blasted Scooby gang had accepted him at face value. No one had assumed that he was plotting their destruction, and he had finally been truly a part of their team. Spike knew that no matter how many demons he killed, no matter how many nights he fought by their sides and no matter how many times he saved all of their sodding, ungrateful lives, he would never truly be one of them. Hell, he didn't fit in anywhere. Buffy had been right. He couldn't be a human, and he could no longer be a vampire. Where did he fit in? That question had been plaguing him for months now, even before the Slayer had so cruelly taunted him about it. Despite
the wonderful feeling of actually being one of the gang, if only for a brief time, having it taken away and knowing that it would never happen for real only made him sadder.
"Bloody Hell!" Spike cursed himself. Is this what he had been reduced too? He was almost as bad as the great poof himself, sulking around his crypt and brooding about his place in society. He was William the Bloody, for fuck's sake! He was the Big Bad, and he would not sit around moping over a bunch of silly gits. No way in hell was he going to turn into his poof of a grandsire. This sodding chip in his head was bad enough, and his overwhelming love for the Slayer only made it worse. There was simply no way that Spike would allow himself to turn into some idiotic, simpering, nancyboy wanker! Nope, he had gotten his rocks back. Buffy and her precious Scoobies would be seeing a different side of good old Spike from now on.
Feeling much better after his little mental tirade, Spike lit another cigarette. He stole a glance out of the small window on the side of his crypt, and he could see the shadows lengthening. It must be getting close to 4:00 by now. The sun wouldn't be up much longer. Thank God for short winter days. He really wanted to go and check on the Nibblet. Wait. Buffy. He had sworn to himself that he would not go to her anymore. He would sit back and wait for her to come to him. He knew she would eventually. He was in her system now. If he went to see Dawn, Buffy would probably assume that he just wanted to shag her again. Not that he didn't want to, but a man's got his principles. Oh well, he would just make it clear that he was there to see little sis and try to ignore big sis the best he could. It would probably drive Buffy crazy. Smiling to himself, Spike grabbed his ratty old blanket and turned toward the door. He decided not to wait any longer, and he threw the blanket over his
head and ran out into the waning sunlight.
Chapter 2: The Day After
Spoilers: Begins immediately post-Wrecked, becomes AU after that.
Rating: R for swearing and some sexual situations.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Feedback: Would be highly appreciated. This is my first attempt at fanfic, and I'd like to know how I'm doing. Constructive criticism is welcome.
Distribution: So far, just here. If anyone wants it, just let me know.
Summary: Buffy continues to struggle with her feelings for Spike, and the whole gang tries to help Willow with her abuse of magic.
Buffy was dreaming. She was in an old, abandoned house. The walls were falling down around her, yet there was no noise. She could see the beams smashing to the ground and chunks of wall crumbling, but they made no sound. She tried to move, tired to run, but she couldn't. She just stood there paralyzed. Suddenly, a large beam was crashing in her direction. Unable to move, it hit her full in the chest, and she fell to the floor trapped under its weight. The force of the blow knocked the breath right out of her, and the pain made it difficult to draw in another. She tried to will her arms to move, to push this heavy thing off of her, but to no avail. She had mustered up all of her strength and was prepared to give it her all when the beam was suddenly lifted off of her. Startled, but extremely grateful, she looked up into the face of her salvation. Piercing blue eyes met her gaze, and a strong white hand reached out to her. He had saved her.
"Buffy! Buffy, wake up!" Dawn reached down to put a hand on her sister's shoulder, hoping to shake her awake. She let out a small cry of shock when Buffy's arm suddenly shot out and grabbed her hand. She tried to pull her hand out of her sister's grasp, but Buffy held on tightly. "Ow! You're hurting me," she shrieked.
Buffy's eyes immediately flew open. Something was wrong. That wasn't his voice. No, it was all wrong. Her eyes finally focused, and her little sister swam into view. "Dawnie? Oh, Dawnie, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
"Oh yeah, I'm just great. Now, in addition to my broken arm, all the bones in my good hand are crushed as well."
Realizing that, if her sister was well enough to be bratty, then she must not be hurt too badly, Buffy sat up with a grimace. "Jeez, Dawn! Exaggerate much? Your hand is not..." before she could even finish, the full weight of her sister's statement sunk in. Her arm. Dawnie's arm had been broken. "Are you okay? I forgot about your arm. Oh my God, I am so sorry. Are you okay?"
Dawn's scowl softened when she realized that her sister was genuinely upset. "It's okay, you didn't really hurt me. It's just that my arm is totally throbbing, and the painkillers that the ER doctor gave me wore off hours ago. I tried to let you sleep as long as possible, but I really need more pills. Can we go fill that prescription now?"
"Of course Dawnie. We'll go do that right away." Buffy threw the covers back and eased her legs off the side of the bed. "Just give me a few minutes to--oh my God!" She suddenly caught sight of the bedside clock and was shocked by what she saw. "It's 2:30? Why didn't you wake me up sooner? I can't believe that I slept this late."
"No big. I figured you must be pretty tired if you hadn't gotten up on your own. Besides, you deserved a good rest. Thanks for taking care of me last night. And for saving me. I was so scared. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't shown up when you did. I--"
"Dawn," Buffy broke in, reaching for the girl and pulling her into a hug. "Don't think about it. I was there, and you're safe now. That's all that matters." She softly stroked Dawn's hair as she spoke, seeking reassurance that her sister was, indeed, fine.
Dawn smiled into Buffy's shoulder. "Yeah, you were there like always. You and Spike. I can always count on you guys."
At the mention of the blond vampire's name, Buffy stiffened. She was suddenly assaulted by memories of last night's vigil and her all too recent dream. She pulled away from her sister and plastered a smile on her face before saying, "I will always be there for you Dawn. Now, let me get dressed and I will run right over to the pharmacy and get your pills. Okay?"
"Sure, whatever, " shrugged Dawn. "I'm feeling much better now that you're up. It really sucks being all alone with a throbbing, broken arm."
"All alone? What do you mean, `all alone'? Where's Willow?"
"Willow!" Dawn was indignant. "You think I'd let that bitch within ten feet of me after what she did?"
"Dawn! Don't talk about Willow that way. She's our friend." Despite the anger that she herself had felt for Willow the night before, Buffy was truly shocked to hear her little sister talk about their friend that way.
"Oh, please!" Dawn rolled her eyes. "Buffy, come on, she took me to some sort of invisible, magical crack house! She left me to sit in that disgusting, dingy waiting room with a bunch of stung out magic junkies. For hours! And then, when she finally does come out, she leads me all around the scariest, darkest alleys in Sunnydale only to have us chased by some creepy demon that she created." Dawn's voice was starting to crack, and Buffy could see the tears welling up in her eyes. She reached out a hand to try and comfort her sister, but Dawn shrugged her off and continued her rant. "And don't forget the part where she stole a car using magic and crashed it into a wall, breaking my arm in the process!" Dawn held up the arm in question, showing off her new purple cast. "Don't tell me how I can or cannot talk about her! You're not the one that she almost got killed! I am! I'm the one who--" suddenly, it all became too much for Dawn, and she collapsed onto the bed and burst into
tears.
Feeling the ache that had been steadily growing in her stomach develop into a full-blown pain, Buffy rushed to comfort her sobbing sister. "Shh, Dawnie, it's okay," she murmured. "I won't let her hurt you ever again. I promise." As she softly crooned words of comfort to the sobbing girl, Buffy felt her anger return. Willow definitely had a serious problem, and she had gone too far this time. She had almost cost Buffy the one thing in this world that was the most important to her. She would have to tell the rest of the gang about this. They would have to find some way to help her. Despite Willow's cries and pleas of the night before, Buffy wasn't entirely sure that the witch was ready to give up magic. In reality, she wasn't even sure if Willow could give up magic. Hopefully, it wouldn't be too late to save her.
Eventually, Dawn's cries subsided, and she sat up and rubbed her reddened eyes. "I didn't mean to shout at you Buffy. It's just that...Well, I can't forgive her for what she did. At least not now. But, if it makes you feel any better, I will refrain from calling her names."
Buffy laughed and pulled her sister into another hug. "You call her anything you want, Dawnie. You're right; she does deserve it. But don't worry. I'm gonna put a stop to it. Willow will not hurt anyone else with her out-of-control magic. Not if I have anything to say about it. Okay?"
Dawn managed a weak smile and struggled to say, "Okay."
"Good. Now that we've made that clear, just give me a sec to get changed, and then we'll go get your pills. I mean, if you're up to it. There might even be a milkshake in it for ya. What do you say?"
This time, Dawn smiled for real. "I say, you're on! I want the biggest milkshake that money can buy!"
"You got it kid," laughed Buffy, grabbing her sister in a headlock and proceeding to give her a noogie.
Dawn squealed in protest. "I am not a kid! Hey, no fair! Slayer strength! Let me go! Arghh..."
******************************************
Spike was pacing in his crypt. Furiously, he walked back and forth, muttering under his breath and cursing the sunlight. "Bloody Hell! Sodding California, the bleeding sunshine state, indeed." He desperately wanted to get out of his dark, dank crypt and check up on the Nibblet. He had been so worried about her last night, and finding out that a broken arm was the extent of her injuries did not do much to abate his fears. If only the bleeding sun would go down, he could go to her and make sure that she was all right.
Spike stopped his frantic pacing and paused to light a cigarette. Inhaling deeply, he began to mull over the events of the previous night. He could not believe how bad Red had gotten. All summer long, he had worked beside her, and he had seen her powers grow by leaps and bounds. It had frightened him, and Spike was not one to scare easily. He barely recognized the person that she was turning into. He remembered when he had first met her, back when the Scoobies had still been in high school. She had been a quiet little bookworm then, afraid of her own shadow. Hell, he remembered that time he had tried to bite her, when he had first found out about the sodding chip that those soldier boys had put in his head. Willow had been devastated when he failed to bite her and had assumed that she was somehow unworthy of being bitten. That had only been a few years ago, yet she was so different now. So...hard.
Spike resumed his pacing and continued puffing on his cigarette. Yeah, Red was definitely out of control. Bringing back Buffy had been the beginning of the end for her. She was sliding down a seriously slippery slope, and none of her mates had even seemed to notice. Then again, the whole lot of them had always been pretty self- involved. He appeared to be the only one who saw that she was relying too heavily on magic and seemed to be almost drunk on her power. Spike momentarily paused his pacing. Come to think of it, her lover must have been picking up on it too. He had noticed that Tara had become increasingly uncomfortable every time Willow mentioned a spell, and he had picked up on some serious tension between them more than once. Willow's erasing all of their memories had been the last straw for her.
Spike threw his spent cigarette to the ground and crushed it under the heel of his boot. Thinking about that day when Red's spell had gone all wonky caused a small pang of regret to rise within him. For those few short hours when everyone had forgotten who they were, he had finally felt the one thing that he longed for most, acceptance. The whole blasted Scooby gang had accepted him at face value. No one had assumed that he was plotting their destruction, and he had finally been truly a part of their team. Spike knew that no matter how many demons he killed, no matter how many nights he fought by their sides and no matter how many times he saved all of their sodding, ungrateful lives, he would never truly be one of them. Hell, he didn't fit in anywhere. Buffy had been right. He couldn't be a human, and he could no longer be a vampire. Where did he fit in? That question had been plaguing him for months now, even before the Slayer had so cruelly taunted him about it. Despite
the wonderful feeling of actually being one of the gang, if only for a brief time, having it taken away and knowing that it would never happen for real only made him sadder.
"Bloody Hell!" Spike cursed himself. Is this what he had been reduced too? He was almost as bad as the great poof himself, sulking around his crypt and brooding about his place in society. He was William the Bloody, for fuck's sake! He was the Big Bad, and he would not sit around moping over a bunch of silly gits. No way in hell was he going to turn into his poof of a grandsire. This sodding chip in his head was bad enough, and his overwhelming love for the Slayer only made it worse. There was simply no way that Spike would allow himself to turn into some idiotic, simpering, nancyboy wanker! Nope, he had gotten his rocks back. Buffy and her precious Scoobies would be seeing a different side of good old Spike from now on.
Feeling much better after his little mental tirade, Spike lit another cigarette. He stole a glance out of the small window on the side of his crypt, and he could see the shadows lengthening. It must be getting close to 4:00 by now. The sun wouldn't be up much longer. Thank God for short winter days. He really wanted to go and check on the Nibblet. Wait. Buffy. He had sworn to himself that he would not go to her anymore. He would sit back and wait for her to come to him. He knew she would eventually. He was in her system now. If he went to see Dawn, Buffy would probably assume that he just wanted to shag her again. Not that he didn't want to, but a man's got his principles. Oh well, he would just make it clear that he was there to see little sis and try to ignore big sis the best he could. It would probably drive Buffy crazy. Smiling to himself, Spike grabbed his ratty old blanket and turned toward the door. He decided not to wait any longer, and he threw the blanket over his
head and ran out into the waning sunlight.