-=drumroll, curtains, and spotlight as always=-
Cait Sith: It's time fer Gabbin' Wit' Gau! Da' only talk show what lets ya' transcend da' nightmarish restraints of da' space-time continuum! -=appears on screen=- I'm Cait Sith! Cuddly cat doll extraordinaire, and dis is my companion an' band-leada', -=points to...=- MoogleMuffins! -=MoogleMuffins smiles and waves=- An' now, here's ya' host: A Grammar teacha's woist nightmare: GAUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
Gau: -=limps out using crutches=- Gau sorry he late... Gau twist his ankle while hunting for dinner...
MoogleMuffins: How Gau break ankle when he so tough?
Cait Sith: Yeh, I t'ought you could take any kinda' damage wit'out getting seriously hoit...
Gau: Gau thinks Kittyman and Big Marshmallow should mind own business!
Cait Sith: ... -=looks sneakily at MoogleMuffins=- I betcha he did it on purpose...
MoogleMuffins: ... -=nods=- Mm-hmm...
Gau: -=rolls his eyes=- Why Gau do this on purpose?
MoogleMuffins: To get attention...
Cait Sith: Frum goils!
Gau: -=surrounded by VERY sexy girls=- ... Gau not know what you talking about!
Voice: Excuse me, but when am I supposed to come on to the show...?
-=Everyone turns to look at a mysterious-looking, muscular man with long blue hair in a very peculiar style, an odd-looking blue, red, and green robe, deep purple eyes, and fine thin pale blue lines networked across his face=-
Seymour: -=waves=- Hello there! ^_^
Cait Sith: ... -=looks grumpy=- What? You're here now?
Gau: Who dis guy? -=looks at MoogleMuffins and points at Seymour with his thumb=- Marshmallow book this guy?
MoogleMuffins: -=nods rather matter-of-factly=- Yup...
Cait Sith: Who IS he?
MoogleMuffins: Seymour Guado... he like the Pope... only not 3000 years old...
Seymour: ^_^ Is everybody feeling fine today?
Gau: Gau feeling fine! -=cranky=- Except for excruciating pain in ankle...
Cait Sith: -=blinks at Seymour and shivers=- Gah... he looks like what you get if you mix Kefka and Sephiroth...
Sephiroth: ARE YOU MAD? That guy doesn't look HALF as good as me! And what's that comment about me and Kefka?
Kefka: -=grins at Sephiroth and bats his eyelashes=- Hey there, lover...
Sephiroth: ... get out of my face before I stab you through the stomach and rip you apart right here in the audience...
Kefka: -=takes a deep, sensual breath=- Mmmm! Don't teasthe me! ^_~ -=Sephiroth turns greenish and gags=-
Seymour: -=gets a frustrated, worn look on his face=- Please do not compare me to them, for my role and devotion to my religion is very influential upon others, and if they thought I acted like that, what kind of example would I pose?
Cait Sith: So yer a big-time religious figure, huh? Hmmm... -=grins nastily=- you ever said a doity woid?
Seymour: -=aghast=- Certainly not!
Gau: Mr. Forehead-Veins ever looked at naked ladies?
Seymour: Never since leaving my mother's womb have I laid eyes upon an innappropriate image. -=smiles, though it's obvious he's a little annoyed by such questions=- Now, may we please continue on, good citizens?
MoogleMuffins: Sure... -=shrug=-
Gau: -=leans over and props his chin up with one hand=- ... So... what you DO anyway? -=pushes a pencil around on his desk=-
Seymour: ... I am a Maester of Yevon. I instill hope within the people, and battle the dark forces which plague our planet...
Gau: -=looks down at his ankle and rubs it a little as Seymour talks=- Gau think he losing feeling in leg...
Seymour: ... I am also a summoner and practicioner of Black and White Magics...
MoogleMuffins: Moogle get ice pack... -=walks off=-
Seymour: Furthermore, I-- Excuse me, but are you listening?
Cait Sith: -=blinks at him=- What? Yer still here?
Seymour: -=quite annoyed=- I request your fullest attention, please...
Cait Sith: -=puts his hands on his hips and flips his tail around=- OH! So now the Almighty Pope o' Yevon needs our attention! -=snaps his fingers and bobs his head a little like people always do on Jerry Springer=- Who died an' made YOU God?
Gau: ... Gau's ankle swelling... -=poke poke=- looks bad...
Seymour: ... [Insolent little maggots!] I am not a pope, simply a Maester... Maester Mika is higher than me.
Gau: If he "higher" than you, what kind drugs he uses? -=snicker=-
Cait Sith: Oh so it's DAT kinda' religion...
Seymour: ... higher in RANK!
Gau: oh okay... -=looks back at his foot=-
Seymour: -=clenching his fist=- Would you please just be quiet and listen...?!
Cait Sith: Sure. Go ahead an' talk. See if I care... -=stares blankly at Seymour like cats always do=-
Seymour: Thank you... anywa-- Would you stop that?
Cait Sith: ... [... I wonda' if I left da' lights on at home...]
Seymour: -=raises an eyebrow=- ... Do you have a problem?!
Cait Sith: -=blink=- HUH? Wha? Did you say something?
Seymour: -=twitch=- No... I'll just continue...
Gau: If Veiny-Head can use White Magic, den use a cure on Gau's foot!
Seymour: ... My name is not VEINY-HEAD, good sir, and it is disrespectful not to call me "Maester Seymour"...
Gau: -=long pause=- ... Gau like Veiny-Head better...
Seymour: And I'd prefer to call you "Insignificant Weed Who Needs To Die", but I'm showing respect and calling you "Sir Gau"!!
Gau: ^_^ VEINY-HEAD TALK LIKE MISTER 'THOU'! THOU THOU THOU THOU GRRK! -=grabs his ankle=- OW OW OW!
Cait Sith: -=points at Seymour as he appears increasingly angry=- Hey Gau! Check it out! Now he's got even more veins poppin' out!
Gau: Ew! Veiny-Head look like living road-map!
Cyan: I dost not talketh like so, Sir Gau! That is an insulteth to my personal honoreth!!
Cait Sith: ^_^ 'EY CYAN! How's tricks?
Cyan: Fineth! Thanketh thou, Sir Cait!
Seymour: You're all insane! I can't stand this anymore!! PREPARE TO FEEL THE COLD, ICY FREEZE OF QUEEN SHIVA!!
MoogleMuffins: -=saunters in, looking quite defeated as Shiva bursts in. Cyan takes one look at Shiva, gets wide-eyed, then runs off, saying "YOINK!"=- Moogle look everywhere, but not find ice. Sorry, Ga-- -=blinks at Shiva=- Moogle come at bad time?
Shiva: You shall all die a painful, freezing death, for Maester Seymour commands me to destroy y-- -=sees the Camera=- OOOH!! Are we on TV?! ^_^ -=poses and sparkles a bit=-
Gau: OOOOOOOOOOOOOH! @_@ ICY-JUGS! -=drools heavily=-
Seymour: ... -=sighs and goes to find Yuna to get himself sent=-
MoogleMuffins: Ooooh... Shiva, Esper of Ice! Moogle feel honored to be in presence! -=bows politely=-
Cait Sith: ^_^ Hi dere, Shiva! Welcome ta' da show! I'm Cait Sith, dat's MoogleMuffins, and da' kid wit' da bum leg is Gau...
Shiva: -=giggles quite airily=- Why thank you! ^_^ Am I being interviewed?
Gau: @_@ ...
Cait Sith: ^_^ Sure are!
Shiva: -=looks at Gau and gets a sweatdrop=- Are you staring at my...?
Gau: ... Yes. And Gau have question already...
Shiva: ... Yes...?
Gau: Why Gau see no perky nipples on Shiva, even though she cold all over?
MoogleMuffins: -=very shocked=- BAD GAU! O O; -=slaps him harshly, knocking him over=-
Gau: ARGH! -=thud=-
Shiva: ... well... uh... I suppose... O_o;
-=Cait Sith mumbles as he sees a "TV-14" get slapped on the screen=-
Shiva: -=regains posture=- ... it's because my whole body has adapted to this body temperature, so it'd take about -1,200 degrees Celcius cold to make that... little... effect...
Gau: -=muffled from behind his desk=- Gau prefer nice perky juggies!
Shiva: -=coughs and blushes=- That's not a very nice question to ask a lady, little Gau!
Cait Sith: -=licks his paw and rubs his ear=- eh, don't mind 'im, Shiva... He's 13, so... well y'know...
Gau: -=climbs back on his chair=- Okay... Gau sorry... -=looks down in shame=-
Gau: OOH! Gau's foot big an' purple now! ^_^ GAU A SHAPE-SHIFTER!
-=MoogleMuffins looks at Gau's foot and feels very sick=-
Shiva: ... do you need an ice pack or... some surgery or something? O_o;
MoogleMuffins: -=looks paler than usual=- Probably so...
Gau: ^_^ WHEE! Big foot!
Cait Sith: ^_^ Hey! Why don'cha cast a li'l ice-spell for us, Shiva? It'd help Gau out and I'm sure da' viewa's at home would love ta' see it!
Shiva: -=casts a little Blizzard spell on Gau's foot=- There you go ^_^
Sephiroth: Oh yeah! Blizzard. It's not as if 95% of the Final Fantasy population can't do that...
Shiva: HMPH! Not impressed, psycho-boy?
Sephiroth: Not in the least, ya' frigid tart!
Shiva: -=glare=- Then how's THIS for ice?? -=casts Diamond Dust on Sephiroth=-
Sephiroth: O o; oh shi-- -=gets encased in a solid block of ice and EVERYONE applauds=-
Shiva: -=giggles and bows=- Thank you, thank you!
Gau: ^_^ -=hops around=- Gau's foot cured! IS MIRACLE! -=hops on his desk as we suddenly hear the "Hallelujah Chorus," then he hops over and hugs Shiva=- Thank you Miss Icy-Jugs!
Cait Sith: -=smiles and wipes a tear from his eye=- Dis is da' best Christmas ever!
MoogleMuffins: Goodnight... and may God bless! ^_^ -=everyone waves at once=-
All: Haha! Goodnight, everybody! ^_^
-=screen goes blank and a remote control is thrown at it, destroying the TV set=-
Sephiroth: -=glaring evilly at his TV, whilst floating around in a weird purple haze=- Oh yes... laugh now... Laugh, FOOLS! For soon, you will know the true power of the Cetra! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Jenova: Destroying the TV will do little to change what the Public sees, my son...
Sephiroth: Oh, but how little you know of my insidious plan, Mother... -=rubs his hands evilly=- How little you know...
Jenova: ...Plus, everything has it's revenge... -=the TV floats in the air and flies straight into Sephiroth's head=-
Jenova: ... -=snicker=- I didn't do it... -=bursts out laughing=-
-=everything irises out on Sephiroth as it plays really wacky Looney Tunes ending music=-
Sephiroth: -=pulls the iris open and moans pathetically=- Please, can't I leave with just a LITTLE dignity? -=it closes again=- END...
Cait Sith: It's time fer Gabbin' Wit' Gau! Da' only talk show what lets ya' transcend da' nightmarish restraints of da' space-time continuum! -=appears on screen=- I'm Cait Sith! Cuddly cat doll extraordinaire, and dis is my companion an' band-leada', -=points to...=- MoogleMuffins! -=MoogleMuffins smiles and waves=- An' now, here's ya' host: A Grammar teacha's woist nightmare: GAUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
Gau: -=limps out using crutches=- Gau sorry he late... Gau twist his ankle while hunting for dinner...
MoogleMuffins: How Gau break ankle when he so tough?
Cait Sith: Yeh, I t'ought you could take any kinda' damage wit'out getting seriously hoit...
Gau: Gau thinks Kittyman and Big Marshmallow should mind own business!
Cait Sith: ... -=looks sneakily at MoogleMuffins=- I betcha he did it on purpose...
MoogleMuffins: ... -=nods=- Mm-hmm...
Gau: -=rolls his eyes=- Why Gau do this on purpose?
MoogleMuffins: To get attention...
Cait Sith: Frum goils!
Gau: -=surrounded by VERY sexy girls=- ... Gau not know what you talking about!
Voice: Excuse me, but when am I supposed to come on to the show...?
-=Everyone turns to look at a mysterious-looking, muscular man with long blue hair in a very peculiar style, an odd-looking blue, red, and green robe, deep purple eyes, and fine thin pale blue lines networked across his face=-
Seymour: -=waves=- Hello there! ^_^
Cait Sith: ... -=looks grumpy=- What? You're here now?
Gau: Who dis guy? -=looks at MoogleMuffins and points at Seymour with his thumb=- Marshmallow book this guy?
MoogleMuffins: -=nods rather matter-of-factly=- Yup...
Cait Sith: Who IS he?
MoogleMuffins: Seymour Guado... he like the Pope... only not 3000 years old...
Seymour: ^_^ Is everybody feeling fine today?
Gau: Gau feeling fine! -=cranky=- Except for excruciating pain in ankle...
Cait Sith: -=blinks at Seymour and shivers=- Gah... he looks like what you get if you mix Kefka and Sephiroth...
Sephiroth: ARE YOU MAD? That guy doesn't look HALF as good as me! And what's that comment about me and Kefka?
Kefka: -=grins at Sephiroth and bats his eyelashes=- Hey there, lover...
Sephiroth: ... get out of my face before I stab you through the stomach and rip you apart right here in the audience...
Kefka: -=takes a deep, sensual breath=- Mmmm! Don't teasthe me! ^_~ -=Sephiroth turns greenish and gags=-
Seymour: -=gets a frustrated, worn look on his face=- Please do not compare me to them, for my role and devotion to my religion is very influential upon others, and if they thought I acted like that, what kind of example would I pose?
Cait Sith: So yer a big-time religious figure, huh? Hmmm... -=grins nastily=- you ever said a doity woid?
Seymour: -=aghast=- Certainly not!
Gau: Mr. Forehead-Veins ever looked at naked ladies?
Seymour: Never since leaving my mother's womb have I laid eyes upon an innappropriate image. -=smiles, though it's obvious he's a little annoyed by such questions=- Now, may we please continue on, good citizens?
MoogleMuffins: Sure... -=shrug=-
Gau: -=leans over and props his chin up with one hand=- ... So... what you DO anyway? -=pushes a pencil around on his desk=-
Seymour: ... I am a Maester of Yevon. I instill hope within the people, and battle the dark forces which plague our planet...
Gau: -=looks down at his ankle and rubs it a little as Seymour talks=- Gau think he losing feeling in leg...
Seymour: ... I am also a summoner and practicioner of Black and White Magics...
MoogleMuffins: Moogle get ice pack... -=walks off=-
Seymour: Furthermore, I-- Excuse me, but are you listening?
Cait Sith: -=blinks at him=- What? Yer still here?
Seymour: -=quite annoyed=- I request your fullest attention, please...
Cait Sith: -=puts his hands on his hips and flips his tail around=- OH! So now the Almighty Pope o' Yevon needs our attention! -=snaps his fingers and bobs his head a little like people always do on Jerry Springer=- Who died an' made YOU God?
Gau: ... Gau's ankle swelling... -=poke poke=- looks bad...
Seymour: ... [Insolent little maggots!] I am not a pope, simply a Maester... Maester Mika is higher than me.
Gau: If he "higher" than you, what kind drugs he uses? -=snicker=-
Cait Sith: Oh so it's DAT kinda' religion...
Seymour: ... higher in RANK!
Gau: oh okay... -=looks back at his foot=-
Seymour: -=clenching his fist=- Would you please just be quiet and listen...?!
Cait Sith: Sure. Go ahead an' talk. See if I care... -=stares blankly at Seymour like cats always do=-
Seymour: Thank you... anywa-- Would you stop that?
Cait Sith: ... [... I wonda' if I left da' lights on at home...]
Seymour: -=raises an eyebrow=- ... Do you have a problem?!
Cait Sith: -=blink=- HUH? Wha? Did you say something?
Seymour: -=twitch=- No... I'll just continue...
Gau: If Veiny-Head can use White Magic, den use a cure on Gau's foot!
Seymour: ... My name is not VEINY-HEAD, good sir, and it is disrespectful not to call me "Maester Seymour"...
Gau: -=long pause=- ... Gau like Veiny-Head better...
Seymour: And I'd prefer to call you "Insignificant Weed Who Needs To Die", but I'm showing respect and calling you "Sir Gau"!!
Gau: ^_^ VEINY-HEAD TALK LIKE MISTER 'THOU'! THOU THOU THOU THOU GRRK! -=grabs his ankle=- OW OW OW!
Cait Sith: -=points at Seymour as he appears increasingly angry=- Hey Gau! Check it out! Now he's got even more veins poppin' out!
Gau: Ew! Veiny-Head look like living road-map!
Cyan: I dost not talketh like so, Sir Gau! That is an insulteth to my personal honoreth!!
Cait Sith: ^_^ 'EY CYAN! How's tricks?
Cyan: Fineth! Thanketh thou, Sir Cait!
Seymour: You're all insane! I can't stand this anymore!! PREPARE TO FEEL THE COLD, ICY FREEZE OF QUEEN SHIVA!!
MoogleMuffins: -=saunters in, looking quite defeated as Shiva bursts in. Cyan takes one look at Shiva, gets wide-eyed, then runs off, saying "YOINK!"=- Moogle look everywhere, but not find ice. Sorry, Ga-- -=blinks at Shiva=- Moogle come at bad time?
Shiva: You shall all die a painful, freezing death, for Maester Seymour commands me to destroy y-- -=sees the Camera=- OOOH!! Are we on TV?! ^_^ -=poses and sparkles a bit=-
Gau: OOOOOOOOOOOOOH! @_@ ICY-JUGS! -=drools heavily=-
Seymour: ... -=sighs and goes to find Yuna to get himself sent=-
MoogleMuffins: Ooooh... Shiva, Esper of Ice! Moogle feel honored to be in presence! -=bows politely=-
Cait Sith: ^_^ Hi dere, Shiva! Welcome ta' da show! I'm Cait Sith, dat's MoogleMuffins, and da' kid wit' da bum leg is Gau...
Shiva: -=giggles quite airily=- Why thank you! ^_^ Am I being interviewed?
Gau: @_@ ...
Cait Sith: ^_^ Sure are!
Shiva: -=looks at Gau and gets a sweatdrop=- Are you staring at my...?
Gau: ... Yes. And Gau have question already...
Shiva: ... Yes...?
Gau: Why Gau see no perky nipples on Shiva, even though she cold all over?
MoogleMuffins: -=very shocked=- BAD GAU! O O; -=slaps him harshly, knocking him over=-
Gau: ARGH! -=thud=-
Shiva: ... well... uh... I suppose... O_o;
-=Cait Sith mumbles as he sees a "TV-14" get slapped on the screen=-
Shiva: -=regains posture=- ... it's because my whole body has adapted to this body temperature, so it'd take about -1,200 degrees Celcius cold to make that... little... effect...
Gau: -=muffled from behind his desk=- Gau prefer nice perky juggies!
Shiva: -=coughs and blushes=- That's not a very nice question to ask a lady, little Gau!
Cait Sith: -=licks his paw and rubs his ear=- eh, don't mind 'im, Shiva... He's 13, so... well y'know...
Gau: -=climbs back on his chair=- Okay... Gau sorry... -=looks down in shame=-
Gau: OOH! Gau's foot big an' purple now! ^_^ GAU A SHAPE-SHIFTER!
-=MoogleMuffins looks at Gau's foot and feels very sick=-
Shiva: ... do you need an ice pack or... some surgery or something? O_o;
MoogleMuffins: -=looks paler than usual=- Probably so...
Gau: ^_^ WHEE! Big foot!
Cait Sith: ^_^ Hey! Why don'cha cast a li'l ice-spell for us, Shiva? It'd help Gau out and I'm sure da' viewa's at home would love ta' see it!
Shiva: -=casts a little Blizzard spell on Gau's foot=- There you go ^_^
Sephiroth: Oh yeah! Blizzard. It's not as if 95% of the Final Fantasy population can't do that...
Shiva: HMPH! Not impressed, psycho-boy?
Sephiroth: Not in the least, ya' frigid tart!
Shiva: -=glare=- Then how's THIS for ice?? -=casts Diamond Dust on Sephiroth=-
Sephiroth: O o; oh shi-- -=gets encased in a solid block of ice and EVERYONE applauds=-
Shiva: -=giggles and bows=- Thank you, thank you!
Gau: ^_^ -=hops around=- Gau's foot cured! IS MIRACLE! -=hops on his desk as we suddenly hear the "Hallelujah Chorus," then he hops over and hugs Shiva=- Thank you Miss Icy-Jugs!
Cait Sith: -=smiles and wipes a tear from his eye=- Dis is da' best Christmas ever!
MoogleMuffins: Goodnight... and may God bless! ^_^ -=everyone waves at once=-
All: Haha! Goodnight, everybody! ^_^
-=screen goes blank and a remote control is thrown at it, destroying the TV set=-
Sephiroth: -=glaring evilly at his TV, whilst floating around in a weird purple haze=- Oh yes... laugh now... Laugh, FOOLS! For soon, you will know the true power of the Cetra! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Jenova: Destroying the TV will do little to change what the Public sees, my son...
Sephiroth: Oh, but how little you know of my insidious plan, Mother... -=rubs his hands evilly=- How little you know...
Jenova: ...Plus, everything has it's revenge... -=the TV floats in the air and flies straight into Sephiroth's head=-
Jenova: ... -=snicker=- I didn't do it... -=bursts out laughing=-
-=everything irises out on Sephiroth as it plays really wacky Looney Tunes ending music=-
Sephiroth: -=pulls the iris open and moans pathetically=- Please, can't I leave with just a LITTLE dignity? -=it closes again=- END...