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Operation: Trojan Horse
By: Kiliki
Rating: PG 13 (for erm...sexual innuendoes)

"The gods too are fond of a joke."
-- Aristotle

Author's Notes:

Konnichiwa minna-chan! This is a sequel to Patch's "To Please
Her." It's a complete fic in of itself, but if you want to know the
whole picture, then I suggest you read the above first.
This fic is partly inspired by my experiences with the vending
machines at school. (Don't worry people, I'm talking about the snack
kind. Lost? You'll find out later.) I hope, if nothing else that this
fic will make you laugh and your day a little brighter. This one is for
you Badz Angel! *grins*

A few tips for my stories:
*__* =Shows word emphasis.
=Shows thought.

Here are some Japanese words that I've added in:

Arigatou--thank you
Hai--yes
Iie -- No
Konnichiwa--hello
Goshinpainaku--don't worry
Nani?--what?
Demo--but
Onegai--please

Disclaimer: Ummm...I guess all I have to say is, I don't own her. Usagi
and Co. belong to Naoko Takeuchi. I do own the right to kick that
stupid machine at school though. *winks at Badz Angel*


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Chapter One


Usagi sighed as she stepped through the lobby doors of her
apartment building. Work had been rather dull and the day had dragged
on indefinitely. Walking over the elevator doors, she pushed the "UP"
button. Waiting for it to come down, she started shaking the rain free
from her umbrella. Convinced that it for the most part cleared from most
of the excess moisture, she glanced at her watch and started tapping
her foot, all the while glancing impatiently at the snails pace of the
elevator's travel and playing idly with her wedding band.
A cheery "DING" roused her from an onslaught of impatient sighs
and rolling of her eyes. Why couldn't things just work for her? Just
*once* today, at least. Barely waiting for the doors to part, she
squeezed through, carelessly jostling the other tenants trying to get
in.
"Hey watch what you're doing!" Came from a disgruntled old man
that she recognized as her rather grumpy neighbor.
"Gomen Sato-san." She apologized, offering a reconciliating
smile, albeit forced.
"Huh." The old man shot her an angry look. "You should be more
respectful of your elders." He huffed.
Smiling sickening sweet she replied. "True Sato-san, but some
should not go off their medication. Their emotional mood swings can
affect others."
His face depended into an angry flush. "I don't take medicines
for your information." He snarled under his breath.
Trying not to smile amid the muffled snickers around her, Usagi
eyes impossibly widened even more innocently. "Oh, but maybe you
should." She turned away and hid her grin behind a hand. She bit back a
giggle at the memory of the murder glint in his eyes.

Sighing once more, she glances at the numbers above the door, 6.
Two more to go. Bending down, Usagi slips off her heels in a sigh of
pure bliss. Glancing up, she finds Sato-san glowering in disgust at her
unorthodox action. Giving the bothersome man a withering glare, she is
grateful to hear the elevator's chime once more. Ninth floor and her
freedom.
Rushing out of the cramped box of torture, she ambled over to
her door. Turning the key and slipping through 802, she calls out
wearily. "Mamo-chan! I'm home."
"Usako?" Came the muffled reply from within the depths of the
apartment.
Setting her shoes down by Mamoru's loafers, she wanders through
the dark apartment, looking in each room for her husband. She finally
walks around the corner and gets a full look at a candlelit table with
rose petals scattered around full plates of steaming food. Eyes watering
at the romantic setting before her, she smiles lovingly at the man who
walks from the kitchen into the room. "Konnichiwa Usako."
"Oh Mamo-chan!" She exclaimed, overwhelmed and rooted to the
floor by the surging emotions.
"Daijoubu?" He sets down a glass of wine and walks over to her,
a worried expression on his handsome face.
"Iie. Goshinpainaku, it's just...it's just so much of a
surprise!" She stutters bewildered, then a horrified look crosses her
face. "Is this a special occasion? OH NO! Is today your birthday? Our
anniversary...?" She babbled.
Mamoru grabbed onto her shoulders to get her attention. "Usako."
She just continues to ramble on. "USAKO!"
"Nani?" She brings watery eyes up to meet his concerned gaze. A
single tear slips out.
"Iie, you didn't forget any special date." He reassured her,
wiping away the stray drop tenderly. "I just wanted to surprise you,
that's all." She laughs a bit sheepishly, and wipes away the traces of
her crying.
"See, everything is going to be okay." Mamoru stepped even
closer and took her into his arms. "I didn't get my 'welcome home' kiss
you know."
She suddenly smiles coyly up into his face. "I guess we'll have
to remedy that then, won't we?"
"I guess so." Leaning down, he engulfs her into a deep kiss,
full of love. She tilted her head under his relentless ardor, deepening
the kiss. Finally they broke apart. She gently laid her head in the
crook of his neck.
"You shouldn't really be doing this you know. You're a married
man Chiba." She murmurs dreamily from her quite comfortable position.
"I don't think Mrs. Chiba will mind." He grinned devilishly.
"I'm not complaining." She laughed.
Pulling out of their embrace, Mamoru gestured towards the set
table. "How 'bout a little dinner and wine?" He suggests to his wife.
She just raised an eyebrow and coquettishly pulled him close
again. "Why don't we go straight to desert?" She murmured against his
throat.
He grinned and kissed her, tempting her lips with soft kisses.
Her legs gave way and his arms tighten around her, bringing her
impossibly closer. Breaking yet another passionate kiss, she pulled on
his shirt lightly, encouraging him to their room. He ignored her and
kissed the confused expression on her face.
"Nani Mamo-chan?" She hesitated, "Don't you want to?"
He smirks, raising a brow. "Is that a question to ask your
husband?" He paused before continuing, trying to conceal a fiendish
grin. "But there is a problem, remember? You my love, will be taking a
trip to the store because we've run out of..." and he whispered the rest
in her ear and smiled in satisfaction to see her eyes go wide. (AN: I
stole this one little sentence from Patch.)
"Nani?!?!" She squeaked. "Onegai Mamo-chan..." He pressed a
finger to her lips to silence her pleadings.
"Iie Usako. I did the *impossible* last week." He shuddered
involuntarily at the memory. "Now it's your turn."
"Demo...demo..." She grasped his shirt and begged him not to
torture her like this.
"Iie demo." He silenced her, trying to ignore the protruding
lip, puppy-dog look she sent his way. "You better hurry, unless you just
want *dinner*."
She half pulled half pushed him away, pouting. "Fine Mamo-chan."
She sent a petulant look over her shoulder. "I'll be back."
"Don't take long!" He called after her retreating figure and was
promptly rewarded with a glare and a muttered, "...and *I'M* the Queen!"
He had the gall to laugh, in response, she half-heartedly slammed the
door. She could hear him laughing through the closed door.
"Insufferable man!" She huffed stomping her way over to the
elevator. The door opened and she descended to the lobby floor, walking
towards the front door.
She suddenly paused in mid-stride. The vending machine. She changed
direction and went over to stare through its window. Well, more
importantly at B7. For among the assortment of candy, snacks,
toothpaste, floss, and other little items, one caught her eye. A small
little foil package. (AN: I've actually seen a machine with one in it!)
An impish look filled her eyes.
Quickly rummaging through her small purse, she produced a some
yen. Quickly she pressed it through the slot, and punched B then 7. The
little elevator went up the "B" level, the machine made a noise, but the
item didn't move.
"Nani?!?!" She exclaimed, then eyed the machine warily. Backing
up a couple of steps, she then charged the vending machine.
"AAAARRHHHHH!!!!" She yelled and gave it a swift and violent kick, her
patience shot.
The thing emitted a strangled noise, then the little door
opened...then closed, up and down, up and down, mocking her. (AN: *hee
hee* Batdz Angel) She cursed under her breath, fuming.
She coached herself, clenching her fists to keep from attacking
the beast again.
Finally she spun on her heel, leaving the confounded machine
still going up and down, while she stalked resolutely out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

Usagi reached the door of the small market around the corner
from their complex building, dripping wet. She had forgotten to grab her
umbrella in her mock fury, and she didn't have keys to Mamoru's car.
She mentally made herself a
note to get a copy of his key so a repeat of tonight's performance
wouldn't happen. She silently
agreed with herself that that was the best option yet.
Marching through the sliding doors, she headed emphatically over
to aisle number 5. Family planning. She groaned inwardly, she *HATED*
doing this. The stares, the snickers and smirks of teenage boys, it was
enough to consider doing without any 'desert'. But the memory of his
last passionate kiss brought her back with a groan to her present
mission at hand: 'Operation: Trojan Horse.'
Trying to slip inconspicuously into aisle 5, she cautiously
proceeded to the section she was looking for, and quickly grabbed the
nearest little box when a voice interrupted. "Usagi-chan!" She froze
recognizing *that* voice, and turned slowly around, facing her doom.
"Konnichiwa Momma-san." She greeted, trying desperately not to
blush. "How are you?"
"I'm doing fine, and how are..." Ikuko then caught sight of the
little package that Usagi held. "I see you are doing just *fine*." Usagi
flushed a deep red at the innuendo.
"Hai, what are you doing here Mama?" She asked, desperately
fishing for a subject to lure her mother away from the current topic.
"Well," She paused while grabbing a armful of boxes for herself,
"we don't want any surprises, so I'm stocking up." Usagi reddened even
more at the sudden direction in the conversation.
"Ah...hai...well uh, I better be going." She stuttered
hurriedly, backing away from her mother. "Ja ne!" When she thought the
coast was clear, she ran, desperate to get out. But the Fates weren't
finished with her yet.
"Usagi-chan! Wait!" Usagi slowly turned around and dragged
herself reluctantly back to the older woman. "Hai?"
Her mother smiled. "You want this one," she said, grabbing the
package out of Usagi's hands and thrusting a different box in her
daughter's hands. "not that one."
"Nani?" Usagi questioned quite confused, that is until she read
the print on that package. 'Ribbed, for her pleasure.' She brought
horror stricken eyes to meet her mother's.
"I recommend them." Ikuko explained, patting her daughter's
cheek affectionately.
"Arigatou...Mama-san." She stammered, flushing to impossible
shades of crimson. "Ja ne." Without waiting, she promptly turned on her
heel and fled to the checkout.
After *feeling* the stares she received from the other customers
in line, she finally made it to the counter. She slid the box forward,
hoping the ordeal would be soon done with, all the while keeping her
eyes downcast. Once again the Fates weren't finished with the poor girl.
"Wishful thinking or first date?" The young cashier asked pointing to
the package, while giving a smirk to his teenage comrade, the bag boy.
Usagi glared into his face, then lifted her left hand
triumphantly. "Iie, anniversary." His smile dampened somewhat. "I'm not
desperate like some people."
The young man glowered at that remark. "Paper or plastic, or in
your case...latex?" The bag boy snickered at his friend's wit.
She straitened and gave him her classic
'pissed-off-moon-princess,-now-you're-going-to-die' look. "Actually, I
want your manager's name." Both of them quickly sobered. The cashier
shamefacedly wrote the name on a slip of paper and handed it to her.
Usagi gave a triumphantly smug smile over her shoulder as she
walked out.

~~~~~~~~~~

Walking through the glass doors of her building again, Usagi
glanced over at the infamous vending machine again. It was still going
up and down.
Marching determinedly over to it, she stopped and contemplated
its doom. After deciding its fate for treason, she took a couple of
steps back and gave it a running kick. It gave a high-pitched 'BEEP'
then the little B7 row went berserk, it started to spill forth all of
the little foil packages until they were a heap on the floor.
Glaring at the insufferable machine, she started to walk away,
when she suddenly whirled around and scooped up an armload of the
spilled contents, giving her shoulders a slight shrug to the shocked
desk clerk.
Striding over to the elevator, she jabbed the button with her
elbow and was surprised when the doors opened immediately. The doors
closed on the sound of the dying machine squealing hideously.
Once arriving on her floor, she turned her key and rushed
through the door. Mamoru looked up surprised. "Konnichiwa Usako!" His
eyes widened at the sheer *amount* of packages she carried. "Stocking
up?" He commented dryly.
She didn't answer him, but threw down her armload except for one
and attacked him. She just plain jumped him.
"Usako..." He murmured against her insistent lips. "Don't you
want a little dinner?"
His wife growled, "Screw dinner." She pushed him towards the
bedroom door.
He readily complied. "A little anxious are we?" He chuckled, not
hindering the process any.
Usagi just grinned impishly, "We have to use up those things
someway!" His smile only got wider as he leaned down to kiss her long
and deep.
"But Mamo-chan..." She sighed under his insistent ardor.
"Mmmmmm?" He replied not breaking the kiss, and stroking her
back in that distracting way.
"Next time *you're* going shopping." He finally broke contact,
leaning back to look at her.
"I don't think so love, I bought 'them' for you, and you got
those today for me." He answered, tapping her nose for effect.
"I don't think *you* understand." She swatted his hand away.
"Because if you don't, *you'll* be sleeping on the cou...." He suddenly
kissed her, quickly silencing her, and urged her to their room.
Usagi giggled at his antics. He knew who was *Queen*.


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*giggles* There ya go Batdz Angel. Did you all like it? If so...email
me, if not...email me.

kiliki621@yahoo.com ^_~

Ja ne!

Kiliki