Who Shot the Milkman?
by Zelgabunny
Disclaimer: Now hear this, I do not own any of the Tenchi cast, they are owned by Pioneer
and AIC, remember it's not cool to sue. ^_^
With that said on to story.
I would like to thank Firebird, The Entry Plug, and Beaglesan
for prereading this monstrosity of my imagination.
(Opening Theme: "NAGARE BOSHI", from 'RG Veda')
Part 1: The beginning of the story
It was a calm, peaceful night in the city of "The", or properly known as "The City".
Not much was happening in the city, just the occasional burgulery and homicide. Nothing
The City's police force couldn't handle. The main force was headed by Lieutenant Kiyone,
together with her loyal partner Sargent Mihoshi, they clean up the rotten refuse known as
crime with grace, accuracy, and most often, dumb luck.
Now to the dark side of the city, known as, "The Dark Side", in the secret hideout
of the nefarious criminal mastermind with his furry little sidekick, Ryo-Ohki, the evil
Noboyuki. We find him formulating his latest scheme.
"Ha ha ha ha!" cackled Noboyuki, "I've done it again!"
"Uh, what is it, boss?" asked one his henchman, looking up from
his hand of cards.
"Why it's only my next plan to torment the city!" returned Noboyuki with an evil
grin.
"So are you gonna tell us what it is?" questioned another henchman, who also looked
up from a hand cards.
"But, of course, Snook-ums." hissed Noboyuki as a sinister grin stretched across
his lips. "I plan on kidnapping Mayor Kagato's daughter, Mitsuki, not just her but also
police Commissioner Katsuhito's daughter, Achika! Then demand an outragous ransom!
Ha ha ha ha ha!"
"Miya ha ha ha ha!" chimed in Ryo-Ohki.
"Who said *you* could laugh!?" demanded Noboyuki.
"Miya!" exclaimed Ryo-Ohki as she dashed to hide behind Snook-ums' legs.
"Hey! That's pretty good, boss! But how much are you gonna
demand?" asked one of the non-card playing henchman.
"Hmmm.......good question, Cuddles. What would you suggest?" replied Noboyuki as
he shot a menacing glare towards Cuddles.
"W,w,well," stammered a frightened Cuddles. "h,h,how about.....four million?"
"Hmmm...." started Noboyuki quietly, "not bad, Cuddles."
"R,really?" responded Cuddles as he relaxed a bit.
"Yes! Really!" Noboyuki said half mocking.
All of his henchmen now had their gazes locked on to Noboyuki. Not one of them
dare to speak until their boss was done.
"Buuuuuut! THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!!!" He shouted, causing everyone, including the already
cowering Ryo-Ohki, to cringe in terror.
"So, uh, what would you suggest, boss?" Snook-ums ventured to ask.
"How about......" Noboyuki paused, "fourty billion?"
"D'uuuuh, is that a lot?" asked the other non-card playing henchman.
"Yes, Poopsie, it is!" Noboyuki answered as if he was talking to child.
"So what would you do with all that money, boss?" questioned Cuddles after regaining
his composure.
"Well, I was thinking of buying some really big guns, or a restaurant chain or three.
Whatever I decide on, I can get lots of it. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!" answered Noboyuki
laughing evily.
At that point Ryo-Ohki hopped back on to the card table and chimed in with her own
evil laugh.
"Yes! Everyone laugh! Laugh with all you've got! HA HA HA HA HA!"
And at which point all of his henchmen shrugged and then joined in and the whole base
resounded loudly with their evil laughter. This angered the neighbours greatly.
The next day, in a different part of the city. We find Tenchi walking home with
Sasami from school, along the way they stopped by the local comic book store for some Pog.
"Thanks for the extra money, Tenchi!" exclaimed Sasami as she was thumbing through
her newly acquired Pog.
"No problem, Sasami, and don't worry about paying me back, it's my treat." returned
Tenchi who also was thumbing through his new Pog.
"Really!? Thanks Tenchi!" Sasami squeeled, and jumped up and gave Tenchi a big
squeeze.
"Sure....! No........prob......lem!" Tenchi replyed as he was being crushed by
Sasami's big squeeze.
"Oops! Sorry about that!" appologized Sasami after she realized she was crushing
Tenchi's ribcage and thus dropping him.
"Say, isn't this your place, Sasami?" Tenchi asked while getting up and and
finished recovering from Sasami's 'hug'.
"Huh?" Sasami started, "Boy that was quick! Would you like to come in for a bit?"
"Sure. Besides I have something for Ayeka." said Tenchi.
"What is it?"
"Homework."
Inside Sasami's house in Ayeka's room. Tenchi is explaining the assignments that
were given earlier in the day.
"And that's that." Tenchi said as he finished explaining everything. "Did you
understand everything?"
"Yes, I did. Thank you, Tenchi." replyed Ayeka.
He smiled, "I'm glad. Well, I must be going." Tenchi said, while standing and
stretching.
"Really? So soon?" Ayeka asked a little shocked.
"Yeah, I have to go over to Ryoko's place, and give her the assignment as well."
Tenchi answered.
"But, I was hoping you'd stay for dinner, Sasami's making your favorite dish,"
Ayeka started, "right, Sasami!?"
Sasami thought to herself, "I am?" Then she hollered back, "I am!"
Tenchi, was now beginning to feel unsure of himself, and the thought of turning
down not only a free dinner, but also crushing Sasami's feelings was making him feel like
an ogre.
"Well, sure! Why not!" Tenchi finally said after a few seconds of reluctance.
"You will!?" exclaimed Ayeka as her face lit up.
"Yeah, I will." Tenchi said while he checked his watch.
"Something wrong, Tenchi?" Ayeka asked.
"Yeah." Tenchi replied slowly.
"Is there anything I can help with?" inquiered Ayeka.
Tenchi's face perked up. "Yes, there is!"
Ayeka's face shone. "Really? What is it?"
"You can move outta the way." Tenchi returned with some urgency.
Ayeka was stunned, and she could get out was,"huh?"
Tenchi took her by the shoulders and lead her over to one side of the door and
dashed down the stairs, and leapt on to the couch and turned the TV channel to his
favorite cartoon.
"The Transformers will return after this commercial break!" the TV voice said.
"Drat-it-all! I missed the opening!" Tenchi fummed.
Ayeka walked down the stairs and moved behind him. "Uhhhh.....aren't you a little
*old* for cartoons?"
"Why, of course not! What made you say such a thing!?" Tenchi shot back.
"Well, for starters, you're not a kid, you're in college, and that one is a relic
from the past." Ayeka retorted.
"Very good reasons, but not good enough!" Tenchi snapped back childlishly.
"Heeeeeeeey!" Sasami exclaimed, "I was watching that!"
"Huh? You were?" Tenchi asked a little surprised, "Weren't you making supper?"
"I am, it doesn't take that long to prepare it." Sasami answered.
"Oh yeah..... what were you watching?" Tenchi inquiered.
"I *was* watching the premier of the new season of Digimon." Sasami returned a
little miffed.
"What!? Really!? They still show that awful thing?" exclaimed a shocked Tenchi.
"Yes, now return to it," demanded Sasami, "Or, no supper for you!"
Tenchi sighed and the channel. "Fine, you win."
"Yay! Thank you!" Sasami squeeled.
"Cardboard-boxmon, Super-uber-mega-ultra-flashy digivolve to..... YAKMON!"
exclaimed the TV character.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttt........." Tenchi uttered under his
breath.
"You'll not get away this time, Reclining-chairmon!" shouted the character now known
as Yakmon, "Silver-spoon-spam attack!"
"Eeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhh!!!!" screamed the character known
as Reclining-chairmon.
The three of them just stared blankly at the spectacle that just unfolded before their
eyes. After what seemed like minutes but was actually ten seconds, Sasami finally piped up.
"The creators must be really running out of ideas."
"Yeah, I guess after seven seasons they finaly hit rock-bottom." replied Tenchi.
"I think supper's ready......" Sasami trailed off.
"Yeah...... okay........" Tenchi, still stunned, managed to squeak out.
At that point Tenchi and Sasami began to make their way to the kitchen, they paused,
turned around, each took an arm and began to drag Ayeka with them.
---------A half hour later---------
"Ahhh! Thanks for a wonderful meal, Sasami!" Tenchi said as he patted his stomach.
"No problem, Tenchi!" Sasami giggled, "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"Indeed, that was most excellent." Ayeka added.
"Now I must leave," Tenchi began, "sorry to run off like this."
"Fine..." Ayeka pouted.
"Bye, Tenchi!" said Sasami.
"Bye, Sasami! Bye, Ayeka!" Tenchi returned as he began to move to the door.
Now back over on "The Dark Side". We find that Nobuyuki is placing the final touches
to his plan.
"Alright, you knuckle-heads know what to do, right?" asked Noboyuki as he eyed his
goons.
They all nodded.
"Good. Hunny-bun, Sweet-ums, and Cuddles will go after Mitsuki. Snuggle-Bunny,
Snook-ums, Poopsie, you'll take Ryo-Ohki with you to get Achika. Apartently she absolutely
loves anything that is cute, I believe she gets it from her late mother Misaki." Noboyuki
instructed.
"We're good to go, boss." Snuggle-Bunny stated.
"Then what're you still doing here? Get goin'!" Noboyuki shouted.
---------One hour later---------
"Unhand me you lummex! I'll scream!" demanded the struggling girl.
"Hey, Sweet-ums! Gag her!" ordered Hunny-bun.
"Sorry, about this, Ms. Mitsuki, but you wont shut up." appologized Sweet-ums.
"Hey wa....mmmmfff!" Mitsuki tried to say before being gagged.
"Lets go back to the boss," announced Cuddles.
Hunny-bun, and Sweet-ums both nodded.
Now over to Snuggle-Bunny, Snook-ums, Poopsie and Ryo-Ohki who were stationed
below Achika's second floor room.
"Okay, you know what to do, right?" asked Snuggle-Bunny.
Ryo-Ohki looked up at the big thug and gave a thumbs-up sign.
"Good, now hop to it," replied Snuggle-Bunny to the sign.
Inside the room, Achika was munching on a pita while working on the same assignment
that Ayeka and Tenchi were working on, except she was having trouble.
"Blast! I don't get any of this!" Achika blurrted. "Hmmmm....I wonder if that geek
Tenchi is home? He'd know what to do, but Ayeka and Ryoko are probably fighting over him
right now.... wait....they were sick today so maybe I *can* get him to help me."
She got up and began to move over to her phone, she picked up the reciever and
proceeded to dial Tenchi's number, but before she could finish entering the last number,
Ryo-Ohki caught her eye. She placed the reciever back on its rest, and started to inch her
way over to Ryo-Ohki making sure not to frighten the little cabbit, as she was approaching
her, Ryo-Ohki began to creep closer to Achika in a timid fashion. Finally the two met,
Achika sat on the floor, and Ryo-Ohki was in her lap taking in all the attention being
showered on her.
"You really like that don't you? And I just can't get over how cute you are!" Achika
said she began to lift Ryo-Ohki up, and proceeded to give her a crushing hug.
"Okay! Now's our chance to nab her while she's still distracted with the little
furball!" Snook-ums exclaimed as he made his way into Achika's room with some rope and a sack.
Snuggle-Bunny followed behind him carrying a gag. "I'm right behind you."
Achika finally released Ryo-Ohki, and began turn around to see
the source of the sound she heard, as she did she saw Snuggle-Bunny's
refelection in her mirror, she began to take a deep breath and before she had the chance
release it in the form of a scream, she was bound, gagged, and sacked.
"Got her! Good job, little one!" praised Snook-ums.
Ryo-Ohki staggered about trying to recover from Achika's 'hug', she gave another
thumbs-up sign and collapsed from the 'hug'.
"Hey! Poopsie! Catch the girl!" Snuggle-Bunny hollered down to Poopsie.
"'Kay!" Poopsie hollered back.
"Right, here she comes!"
As Poopsie waited for Achika to fall into his arms, he spied a penny in the grass, he
bent over to pick it thus missing his chance to catch Achika, but forturnetly for her, she
landed on a conviently placed matress with muffled 'oof'. Snook-ums and Snuggle-Bunny looked
down at Poopsie who was now dancing around like a fool after obtaining his shinny new penny,
then they looked at each other, looked back at Poopsie and at the same time muttered, "that
idiot".
"Lets go back to the boss." Snook-ums ordered, and jumped down to the lawn below,
Snuggle-Bunny nodded and followed after him.
Over at Ryoko's place, Tenchi was trying to teach Ryoko the same assignments that he
taught Ayeka not too long ago, but was having little success.
"Do you understand now?" Tenchi asked while trying hold back his frustration.
"Nope! Not at all!" Ryoko returned.
"Okay," Tenchi began, "for seventh time... it goes like this."
Tenchi proceeded to teach the whole assignment yet again. As he neared the end, he
noticed that Ryoko showed signs of not understanding it again.
"Did you get it this time?" Tenchi asked with a vain hope that she did.
Ryoko just shook her head and said, "Not at all."
Tenchi fell over and muttered, "Oi."
"Hmmmm... let me try it like this," Ryoko said as she began completing the part of
the assignment Tenchi just finished going over.
Tenchi got back up to an upright position, and watched in amazment as Ryoko completed
her work.
"Is that right?" asked Ryoko.
"......yeah......" a stunned Tenchi returned.
"Yay! That was easy!" Ryoko giggled.
"How? You said you didn't get it." Tenchi asked totally baffled.
"Like this." Ryoko said as she began to show Tenchi what she did.
"Uh, that's exactly how I showed you," stated Tenchi.
"Oh! My way is much easier!" Ryoko exclaimed.
"But....nevermind." Tenchi said.
"Now.....let's snuggle!" Ryoko blurted as she lunged at Tenchi.
Tenchi dodged, "I really got to go! I... uh got some other stuff... I need to do...
yeah that's it."
"It can wait." Ryoko countered.
Tenchi quickly grabbed his stuff and dashed for the door but Ryoko blocked him.
"Going somewhere...?" Ryoko said seductively.
Tenchi began to franticly try to come up with a way to get Ryoko out of the way, but
only managed to come up with, "What's that outside the window?" He now felt like a total
moron for using the oldest trick in "the book".
Ryoko turned her head to where Tenchi had pointed, "Wha, where?"
Taking the opening that had now opened for him Tenchi he managed to slip by her. When
she finally realized that she had been dooped, all she could say was, "Phooey! He got away!"
Part 2: The middle of the story
Deep inside a darkened room, sat a petite scientist with long red hair that drooped
onto the floor a little, she was watching a few moniters that were showing various things,
one was showing a news report on the rescent kidnappings of Mayor Kagato's daughter, Mitsuki,
and police comissioner Katsuhito's daughter Achika, the others were showing Tenchi, Ayeka,
Ryoko, and Sasami doing various activities.
"Yessss...." the scientist whispered to herself, "they will do perfectly!" She then
made a motion, and one of her assistants came up to her.
"Yes, what is it?" asked the assistant.
"Bring to me those four people," she responded, "And make sure to have the outfits
ready for them."
"Of course, at once," her assistant replyed. He then turned and left the scientist
alone.
"This kind of injustice shall not be tolerated! I'd go myself but I'm scientist not a
warrior! These four will do. I've been watching them very carefully for a while... they will
not fail me," she said to herself.
We now find Tenchi walking home with Ayeka and Ryoko clinging to each of his arms,
along with Sasami a few steps ahead, skipping along while listening to some music from her
walkman, when all of a sudden a black van pulled up and two men in white coats hopped out
stepped in front of them.
"Are you four Tenchi, Ayeka, Ryoko and Sasami?" one man asked.
They all nodded.
"Good, please come with us," the other man said.
"Why? We're all perfectly sane." Tenchi questioned.
"You four have been chosen," the first man answered.
"Chosen for what?" asked Ayeka.
"You've been chosen to be the new defenders of justice," returned the second man.
"And what if we choose not to go?" Ryoko piped in.
"You'll miss out on saving lives, and a really big pay cheque," retorted the first man.
"We're in!" the four said in unison.
"Excellent, this way please..." the second man said while opening up the back of the
van.
---------thirty minutes later---------
"Um...excuse me but they have arrived," said one of the scientist's assistents.
"Very good, show them in," she returned.
"Yes ma'am," her assistent said and then turned and went to the lab door. "The doctor
will see you now."
Tenchi, Sasami, Ayeka, and Ryoko all entered the lab and went to where the short
red-headed scientist was now standing.
"Greetings," she began, "I am professor Washu, but you can call me 'Little' Washu!"
"Hello, I'm..." Tenchi started but Washu cut him off.
"I know who you all are. I know *lots* about you." Washu said.
"What are we going to do now, Little Washu?" Ayeka asked.
"You're gonna up those stairs," she turned to point at the stairs, "and each of you
will go into your own change room and put on the costume that is in there, afterwards you'll
come back down here and I'll give each of you your superhero names. It's as simple as that."
At that point they each went the stairs that Washu had pointed to and went into the
change rooms. After about five minutes the three girls emerged from the change rooms in their
new costumes. All of the costumes were basically the same. They were common fukus with some
excentric colors. Ayeka's was white with hot green, Sasami's was white with hot orange, and
Ryoko's was white with hot yellow. And each of them had a belt with different letters on them.
Ayeka had 'WM', Sasami had 'IC', and Ryoko had 'MM'.
"Alright..." Washu began, "uh, where's Tenchi?"
The three girls looked around then looked back at his change room door and they noticed
that it was still closed.
"I'll go get him." Sasami said and she bounded up the stairs, and knocked on the door.
"Tenchi? Aren't you coming out?"
"Not dressed like this!" Tenchi shouted through the door.
"Why not?" Sasami returned.
"I look absolutly ridiculous!" Tenchi shouted through door again.
"Come on, it can't be *that* bad." Sasami pleaded.
Losing her patience, Washu reached in to her pocket and pulled out a small remote with
only a few buttons on it, and pressed one of the buttons, which caused Tenchi to come flying
out of his change room, Washu then returned the remote to her pocket. Tenchi shot to his feet,
with his face beet red. He too was wearing the same style of costume. His was white with hot
pink and he too had a belt with lettering on it, 'P' was on his.
"Now," Washu began, "lets take a good look at the lot of you."
Sasami came back down the stairs, and the four of them lined up in a
straight line.
"Mmmmm...looking good, everything seems to fit nicely," Washu said looking
over the three girls then coming to Tenchi, "hmmmm....everything looks good but one
thing."
"Huh? What's that?" Tenchi asked still blushing but not as brightly.
"It's those legs of yours. They're too hairy. You'll need to shave them." Washu
answered.
"You're joking, right?" Tenchi questioned shocked.
Washu shook her head and said, "You'll look better in that outfit if you shave your
legs."
Tenchi sighed and with some reluctance said, "Fine."
"Good, now for the final pieces." Washu said as she handed out four masks, which were
white, and the sides stretched out to form a rounded point. "Here, put these on."
They did as instucted. Then Washu beckoned them to follow her, which they did, she led
them over to a large storage cabinet. She handed them each a weapon. For Tenchi there was a
bokken, Ayeka recieved a pair of fairly large fans, Sasami got a slightly oversized wok, and
Ryoko got a big gatling gun.
"I'll now explain some of the features of your weapons." Washu stated, "Tenchi, your
bokken has been crafted from several hard woods so it's light and wont break easily. Ayeka,
your fans are obviously larger than normal that's so you can do some serious wacking of
enemy heads and various other body parts. Sasami, your wok is also over-sized for the same
reasons as for Ayekas fans, also it is guaranteed never to dent, so you can also cook with
it. And now for Ryoko, your gun is designed to take out opponents with out killing them,
so in other words it's a rapid-fire stun-gun. And now for your hero names, Sasami you're
the 'Iron Chef', Ayeka you're 'Wooden Maiden', Ryoko you're Miss Mayhem, and Tenchi you're
'Pamplemousse'."
"Uh...what's that?" Tenchi asked dumb-founded.
"It's French, I'll let you figure it out later." Washu said snickering.
"I don't like the sounds of this." Tenchi commented with some worry.
"Alright, here's your first assignment." Washu announced. "You're to go down
to 'The Dark Side' and rescue the hostages. Here read this." Washu then handed a piece of
paper to Tenchi.
Tenchi read it aloud with some difficulty,
"Deer Mair, and Commishoner,
I have uoor daweters. U shall bring fortee billyon dollars to 'The Dark Sighed',
if u do knot bring the monee in twelf ours of getting this noat, I shal have them tortchured
until they r 2 insayn 2 funkshon in sosighetee. Have a nice dey.
Love, Noboyuki.
PS. I mean it."
"How did you get this?" Sasami asked.
"I have a contact in the police force." Washu returned boastfully.
"When do we leave?" Ryoko asked.
"You leave as soon as Tenchi shaves his legs."
---------fifteen minutes later---------
"Did you know that you've got really nice legs?" Ayeka asked.
"Uh...thanks...I think..." Tenchi managed to reply.
"Excuse me, Miss Washu?" Sasami began.
"Yes, Iron Chef?" Washu replyed.
"Um, how are we gonna get there? None of those three have a car." Sasami finished.
"Well, do all of you have your gear?"
They nodded.
"Here you go, Pamplemousse," Washu said as she handed Tenchi a set of keys, "and for
you girls," she handed Ryoko and Ayeka set of keys as well.
"What are these for?" Ryoko asked looking at the keys.
"They're for your vehicles." Washu responded. "Follow me."
They followed after the short scientist over to what looked a launch pad of some-sorts.
Washu then pulled out her remote and clicked one of the buttons, which then activated a bunch
of lights, revealing a flashy motorcycle and an equally flashy two-door sports-car. Tenchi,
Sasami, Ayeka, and Ryoko stood in awe of the beautiful works of machinery .
"Girls, the car is for you, which then leaves the bike for Pamplemousse." Washu
stated.
"Um, why do you keep calling him that?" Ayeka asked.
"So you get in the habit yourselves, no one is to know who you really are," Washu
answered.
"Oh," was all that Ayeka could return to the simple answer she recieved.
"Now, you must go, there isn't much time left." Washu said urgently.
"Let's go, team!" Tenchi exclaimed as he hopped on to his new motorbike.
The girls nodded and then piled into their car.
Meanwhile over at the police station, we find Mayor Kagato and Commissioner Katsuhito
discussing the same note that Tenchi had just finished reading.
"This bad. Very bad." Mayor Kagato said as paced back and forth.
"You must try to calm yourself." Commissioner Katsuhito said trying to help.
"Calm? I *am* calm!" Kagato yelled.
"Don't worry I've got my best officers on the job." Katsuhito said reassuringly.
"Really? Who?" asked Kagato hopefully.
"Lieutenent Kiyone, and Sargent Mihoshi." answered Katsuhito.
"Oh, I see." Kagato responded trying to show some excitment.
"Cocoa, sir?" Katsuhito asked.
Now over in 'The Dark Side', Tenchi and the girls have just arrived at Noboyuki's
hideout, and are trying to figure out how to get in.
"Is this right place?" Sasami inquired.
"It sure is." Ryoko responded.
"How do you know?" Sasami replied quickly.
"I believe that gives it away." Ryoko returned pointing over at a sign.
The sign read, "Welcome to Noboyuki's hideout" in big neon lights.
"That makes sense." Sasami concluded.
"Any ideas of how to get in?" Ayeka asked.
Ryoko chucked her thumb over her shoulder. "Why don't we use the front door?"
"C'mon, Ryo...er Miss Mayhem, no normal superhero does it like that." Tenchi returned
"You forget we're not normal superheroes." Ryoko countered.
"Oh yeah," was Tenchi's reply.
"Let's give it a try, I guess." Ayeka sighed.
They then walked over to the door, and surprisingly enough it was open. They then
entered but little did they realize that they were being watched the whole time.
"Is everything ready?" asked Noboyuki.
"Just like you ordered, boss." Hunny-bun answered.
"Excellent!" hissed Noboyuki with evil delight.
After Tenchi and the girls had entered the hideout they traveled a ways in when they
encountered a pair of doors each having a sign, one read "Der Weg zu den Geiseln", and the
other read "Der Weg zur Falle".
"Can anyone read these?" asked Sasami.
"I can't." Tenchi answered.
Ryoko barged ahead, "I say it's this one."
"Wait! You sure?" Ayeka asked as she followed.
Tenchi and Sasami followed after them, they then found themselves surounded by
Noboyuki's henchmen.
"Welcome to my trap, honored guests!" greeted Noboyuki.
"Your evil ways stop here, you villanous-type person!" Tenchi said attempting to be
heroic.
"Oh yeah? And who might you four be?" Noboyuki asked smugly.
"I am 'Pamplemousse'!" Tenchi returned.
"I am 'Wooden Maiden'!" Ayeka added.
"I am 'Miss Mayhem'!" Ryoko also added.
"I am 'Iron Chef'!" Sasami added in as well.
"Together, we are....'Three girls and a guy'!" they said in unison.
Noboyuki and his gang turned to look at each other, then back at Tenchi and the girls,
Noboyuki then said, "Get them!" At that point his gang then rushed Tenchi and the girls, and
a fight ensued.
"I'll take care of Noboyuki, you three take of his goons," ordered Tenchi.
The girls nodded and then leapt into action. Tenchi quickly made his way over to where
Noboyuki was, Noboyuki then started running. Tenchi pursued Noboyuki while swinging his
bokken in an attempt to hit the fleeing criminal mastermind but ending up hitting various
boxes and crates instead, also causing various objects to fall in his way as he persued his
target.
Ryoko was getting a kick out of keeping her 'friends' at bay with her stun-gun, she
then turned her attention over to where Sasami was. Sasami was being over-powered by a couple
of Noboyuki's men. Ryoko then quickly pivoted around to fire and aid her comrade, but her
attempt was thwarted by a frying pan to the back of the head which rendered her unconscious.
Ayeka was smacking her foes repeatedly, but they kept coming at her no matter how many times
she'd hit them.
Sasami then dashed over to her sister's side but was clobbered and knocked out by
Ayeka's fans. Ayeka turned to see what she did, but she too was jumped from behind and
knocked out. Tenchi finally managed to pin Noboyuki into a corner. Noboyuki looked over one
of Tenchi's shoulders and felt some relief at the sight of his men coming up behind Tenchi.
Tenchi turned around to see what Noboyuki saw, as he did he was swarmed by the group of
henchmen, and he too was knocked out cold.
"Good work, boys! Tie 'em up and stick 'em with the hostages." Noboyuki ordered as he
came out of the corner.
Outside of the hideout a police squad car pulled up, and out stepped two female
officers. One had a lean build with long dark green hair, her partner had a tanned
complextion with long blond hair.
"This must be the place," the dark green haired officer stated.
"T'would appear thine words art of plausible descent," her partner confirmed.
"What do you think, Mihoshi," began the first officer, "should we call for back up?"
"Thine wisdom is infallable, Kiyone," Mihoshi returned.
"This is Lieutenant Kiyone requesting back up," Kiyone spoke into a walkie talkie.
"Roger that. Please hold your position," a voice crackled back.
"Now we wait," Kiyone anounced.
Mihoshi nodded.
After about five minutes of waiting a second pulled behind the two female officers.
Out of the car stepped two male officers. One stood about six feet five inches, he had a
slender build, the other stood about five feet two inches, he had a very pudgy build. The
two officers walked over to where Kiyone and Mihoshi were standing.
"You call back up?" the tall officer asked.
"Ah!" Kiyone began, turning toward the approaching men, "That was... fast..."
"Is something wrong?" asked the short officer.
"...where is my back up?" Kiyone replied.
"That would be us," the tall officer returned, "Everyone else is busy with something
or something."
Kiyone just stood there for a moment dumbfounded, she then shook her head in order to
regain her focus.
"Alright, here's the plan," Kiyone began, "Azaka, you and Kamidake cover the sides,
Mihoshi and I shall try negotiating with Noboyuki."
Azaka and Kamidake nodded and took off to their respective positions. Seconds later
a voice crackled over the radio and said, "Azaka in position." And seconds after that,
"Kamidake in position."
"Our comrades in arms have had speed befall them and have arrived upon their position
of favorable aptitude, Kiyone," Mihoshi announced.
"Right," Kiyone said raising a bullhorn, that she got out of the trunk of her squad car
while Azaka and Kamidake were getting into position, "Noboyuki! We have you nearly surrounded!
Come out with your hands up!"
At that point Noboyuki stuck his head out a window and shouted back at the lady
officer, "Not by the hair on my chiny-chin-chin!" after that he ducked back in and shut the
window.
"Hmmm, he's not giving us whole lot of options," Kiyone stated.
"Indeed." Mihoshi concured.
"Mihoshi, tell Azaka and Kamidake to return here, and wait for us," Kiyone instructed,
"we're going in."
Mihoshi nodded and spoke into the radio, "Azaka, Kamidake, returneth hither, Kiyone
and I art invading yonder hideout."
Azaka and Kamidake, responded and returned to where Kiyone and Mihoshi were.
"Lets go!" Kiyone exclaimed, and headed for the door.
Mihoshi nodded and followed after her partner. After entering the hideout the two
officers found themselves in a dark room.
"What do you think, Mihoshi?" Kiyone asked.
"Mayhaps a hidden door lurks nigh? Let us search the environs." Mihoshi answered.
Upon saying that, two doors appeared, with the same signs as before.
"Can you read those signs?" Kiyone asked.
"Yes, I can," Mihoshi answered.
"Then what do they say?"
"This one says, 'Der Weg zu den Geiseln', and that one says 'Der Weg zur Falle'."
"And what do they mean?"
"I hath no knowledge for deceifering the intended message."
"But you said you could read them."
"And I did readeth them, thou didst not specify to give meaning to the words written
upon yon signs."
"Alright, new plan, which door?"
"I suggesteth 'Der Weg zur Falle'."
"Right, let's go!"
The officers then opened the door and barged in, said the popular police phrase, "Halt!
You're all under arrest!" They were then ambushed by Noboyuki's men.
"Welcome, dear friends," Noboyuki greeted, "what a pleasent surprise!"
"Can the crap, Noboyuki! You're coming with us." Kiyone snapped back.
"Do you have the ransom money?" Noboyuki asked.
"Of course not! We've come to take you down!" Kiyone exclaimed back.
"Then, I'm afraid you'll just have to join my growing collection of hostages."
Noboyuki said slyly.
"Hark! Dost thou wish to express clarity within the peach of thine speech?"
"Allow me to show you what I mean." Noboyuki gestured over to a nearby TV set. He then
pulled out a remote and clicked one of the buttons, the screen flickered on. The screen
showed Achika, Mitsuki, Tenchi and the other girls strapped to poles with seatbelts, on their
on fingers were Chinense finger-traps one on each set of fingures except for the thumbs, the
camera then panned down to show their feet everyone had their showlaces tied together.
Everyone seemed to pain of some sort for they were thrashing their heads around, except for
Tenchi, he was laughing his guts out.
"What have you done to them!?" Kiyone demanded.
"It's just simple torture." Noboyuki calmly returned.
"Thou art truely despicable!" Mihoshi chimed in.
"Who? Me?" Noboyuki asked in mock surprise.
"Mihoshi get him! We must rescue them before any more damage is done!" Kiyone
exclaimed.
"Indeed!" Mihoshi agreed.
"Well then... get them!" Noboyuki shouted, "Uh, where's Poopsie?"
"He's in the can, boss," responded Cuddles.
"I see, forget him. Just get those dames!" Noboyuki ordered.
Now the battle began, between Noboyuki's men and the two female officers. But after
a matter seconds all of Noboyuki's men were down and out and also cuffed.
"Now it's your turn." Kiyone said approaching Noboyuki, Mihoshi beside her.
"Good help is so hard to find," Noboyuki commented looking at his fallen men then at the
approaching officers, "Looks like it's up to me." Noboyuki then pulled out his remote once
again and clicked a different button. This one caused two frying pans to fall from the
ceiling and land right on top of the two officers rendering them unconscious. Poopsie
then stepped out of the little boys room.
"Good help is so hard to find these days," Noboyuki muttered to himself.
"Uh, what's goin' on boss?" Poopsie asked looking around.
"Just shut up, and help me strap these two up with the others!" Noboyuki ordered.
Poopsie did as he was ordered.
"What're we gonna do now, boss?" Poopsie inquired following Noboyuki to a back door.
"We're going to the other base." Noboyuki answered.
"What about the money?"
"We'll figure out another plan for that."
"How about the others?"
"Forget them."
"What about the hostages?"
"We'll be back for them later, it'll still be a while longer before their 'treatment'
is done with."
"But...but..."
"Just shut up, and lets go!"
After that they were gone. Over in the room where everyone was being held prisoner.
Kiyone and Mihoshi finally woke up.
"So you're back with us now, eh?" Ayeka commented.
"Who...who are you?" Kiyone asked still groggy.
"That doesn't matter now, we must get outta here before it starts again!" Ryoko
snapped.
"She's right, Pamplemousse can't take much more." Sasami said with concern.
"More? More what?" inquiered Kiyone.
"Laughter," Sasami returned.
"Right, Mihoshi what do you think of the situation?" Kiyone nodded and asked.
"Hmmmm..." Mihoshi began, "t'would appear we are fucked."
"Great, just great," Achika spoke sarcasticly, "our rescuers rescuers need to be
rescued."
"Yeah," Mitsuki added, "if you only brought the money we wouldn't all be in this mess."
"Just...(huff) stop...(puff) it..." Tenchi said still catching his breath.
"Prithee, when dost the clock strike thine time in which our eyes shall be
privy to fall betwixt upon this demon of companionship?" Mihoshi asked.
"I say we got about three minutes... if we're lucky." Ayeka answered.
"Anybody got any ideas?" Tenchi asked finally catching his breath.
"I managed to figure these things out," Sasami said releasing her top fingers.
"Really? How?" Ayeka asked.
"Just push in with your fingers grab the trap with your thumbs and slowly remove
your fingers from the trap," Sasami explained.
Everyone then did as Sasami instructed, and they were free in no time, with the
exception of their shoelaces. Just then the equipment began to emit noise. It was getting
ready for another "treatment" session.
"Hurry! Everyone out the door!" Ayeka exclaimed, "It's beginning again!"
They all hopped as fast as they could to the door, which for some reason was unlocked,
no one cared why it was unlocked they just wanted out and fast. Everyone then sat on the
ground trying to get the knots out of their footwear.
"That was too close," Ayeka said breathing a sigh of relief.
"What was going to play anyways?" Kiyone asked getting to her feet.
"Really bad, old jokes. Apparently those are the favorite jokes for the one called
Poopsie." Ryoko answered.
"That monster!" Kiyone replyed in horor.
"I don't see what everyone is getting all bent out of shape over, those jokes were
some of the best I've ever heard." Tenchi comment.
All of the girls just stared at him.
"What?"
After a couple minutes of untying shoelaces, everyone was up on their feet.
"It appears that Noboyuki is no longer around in this place," Tenchi commented looking
around.
"Hey! Everyone! Over here!" Sasami shouted.
"What is it?" Kiyone asked.
"They art the minions of the fled knave," Mihoshi answered.
"Maybe they know where Noboyuki went," Ayeka suggested.
Kiyone bent down and grabbed one of the bound henchmen's shirts and jerked him up.
"Ok, scumbag," Kiyone began leering down and that crook, "where's Noboyuki?"
Snook-ums just shook his and spoke, "I ain't tellin'!"
Ryoko then came over to the fallen henchmen with her gun in hand and proceeded to aim
it at his vulnerable area and calmly spoke, "You gonna tell us, now?"
Snook-ums rapidly nodded his and answered, "He went to the back-up hideout, in the
darker part of 'The Dark Side'."
"Where?" Kiyone interagated.
"I don't remember, it's been too long since we last used it," Snook-ums returned.
"How about you guys?" Kiyone asked the other henchmen, "Do you guys remember?"
They all shook their heads no.
"Mayhaps the answer we seek layeth in the archives of the house of the law?" Mihoshi
spoke up.
"It's worth a shot," Kiyone began, "now about you four...huh? Where'd they go?"
"They hath made like phantoms and vanished." Mihoshi concluded.
"Oh well, let's take these guys down to the station and take these two home." Kiyone
ordered.
Mihoshi nodded.
Part 3: The end of the story
We find Noboyuki and Poopsie in the back-up hideout in the darker part of 'The
Dark Side' along seven mysterious people. One of the seven approached Noboyuki.
"Ah! Mister Thou, it's been a while. You're looking as lovely as ever."
"Always the flatterer!" Mister Thou returned, "So what's the problem that you need
us to deal with it?"
"My plan was ruined, my gang has been captured, and those meddlesome 'Superheroes',
got in the way." Noboyuki responded.
"Uh...what about him?" Mister Thou asked.
"Hmmm? Oh, nevermind him, he's an idiot." Noboyuki answered callously.
"I see..." Mister Thou noted.
"Are those them?" Noboyuki asked, refering to the six men behind Mister Thou.
"Yes," Mister Thou replyed, "Allow me to introduce you to, Russian Wombat,
Scandinavian Water Buffalo, German Platypus, Zimbobwayian Ostrich, Brazilian Ardvark, and
East St Louis Titmouse. We are, The Wonton Seven!"
"Excellent, now for phase two," said Noboyuki.
"What was phase one?" Russian Wombat asked.
"Calling the lot of you," Noboyuki informed.
"So what's the plan?" German Platypus inquiered.
"We will lure 'Three girls and One guy' here, and you seven will dispose of them,"
Noboyuki answered.
"Who's that?" Mister Thou questioned.
"It's those superheroes I told you about, that's just what they call themselves,"
Noboyuki returned
"Oh," was all that Mister Thou could add to what Noboyuki had just said.
"Sounds simple enough," Scandinavian Water Buffalo commented.
"How do you expect them to come here?" asked Brazilian Ardvark.
"We'll capture a mobile news team, and use their equipment to broadcast a challenge
to them," was Noboyuki's response.
Now we return to Washu's laboratory, where Tenchi and the girls have returned, along
with Ryo-Ohki.
"You're late!" Washu scolded.
"Sorry, but we ran in to a bit of difficulty," Tenchi appologized.
"Don't worry about it," Washu returned reassuringly, "It was your first assignment,
I guess it's only natural for it to take a bit longer than usual."
"Hey! Wait! Come back here!" Sasami cried, while running after Ryo-Ohki.
"...about that..." Washu began, "why did you bring that along?"
"She didn't want it to go prison with the gang members that were caught," Ayeka said.
"Got you!" Sasami cheered.
"Iron Chef! Bring her over here, please," Washu called to Sasami.
"Okay!" Sasami sang, skipping over to Washu with Ryo-Ohki in her arms.
"So little one, what's your name?" Washu asked Ryo-Ohki.
"miya miya, miya," Ryo-Ohki replied pointing to a tag on her collar.
Washu lifted up the tag and read aloud, "Call me, 'Ryo-Ohki'. So Ryo-Ohki, what shall
we do with you, hmmm...?
"Can we keep her?" Sasami asked.
"Well she is an accessory to kidnapping, and we really shouldn't even have her here.
However if she swears her allegience to us and promises to be a part of this team, then I
don't see why she would need to go any where else." Washu said, looking at Sasami.
"What do you say?" Sasami asked Ryo-Ohki, "You wanna join us?"
Ryo-Ohki put one paw on her heart, the other in the air and nodded.
"I think she's in," Ayeka commented.
"Indeed," Tenchi added.
"Welcome aboard, squirt!" Ryoko congratulated.
"Yay!!" Sasami exclaimed.
"miya!" Ryo-Ohki cheered.
"Why don't you all go rest up stairs, you must be tired from your assignment." Washu
suggested.
They all nodded, then went off to their change rooms. They put back on their regular
street clothes, then proceeded to go upstairs.
---------The next day---------
"Alright, East St Louis Titmouse, Scadinavian Water Buffalo, and Russian Wambat, you
three go capture me mobile news team," Noboyuki instructed.
They nodded and then took off.
"Nice, very nice," Noboyuki commented.
"What is it?" questioned Mister Thou.
"Your men are very efficent. I like that."
"But of course!" Mister Thou boasted, "I train only the best!"
"So I've seen," Noboyuki stated. "However, I must warn you that the 'Three
Girls and a Guy' are one of the fiercest of agrigations."
"Heh," Mister Thou smirked, "They'll be less fierce when they're *dead*."
"Hey," Noboyuki pointed, "You stole that from--"
"No. Shut up."
Now over to Tenchi and the girls. They are on their way back to Washu's laboratory
for some training or something.
"Little Washu! We're here!" Tenchi hollared as he entered the laboratory with Ayeka,
Ryoko, Sasami and little Ryo-Ohki.
"Oh good!" Washu greeted, "You're just in time for the news."
Washu led them down to her research area which also houses the teams equipment. She
then turned on the news. The reporter was interviewing Noboyuki.
"Listen up, you meddling 'superheroes'," Noboyuki began, "I challenge you all to a
duel, your team versus' mine. If you guys win, we will turn ourselves in. If we win,
we get to do all sorts of fun things to you. And if that's not enough insentive to accept
this challenge the well-being of this news team, is also riding on this as well. Oh yeah, one
other thing: no cops, just you guys."
When the ultimatum was over, Tenchi and the girls all turned to Washu, awaiting her
instructions. After a couple minutes of silence Washu finally spoke.
"I want you go down there and take of things," Washu said, "Go get your gear on, and
head out immedietly."
They nodded and headed for the change rooms. They then came out all changed after
about five minutes.
"Hey!" Sasami exclaimed, "Ryo-Ohki has a mask too!"
"Yup, I made it after you guys left last night," Washu retuned smugly.
"Hmmm...not bad, squirt," Ryoko commented.
"Lets go, girls!" Tenchi blurted, "We must put Noboyuki away once and for all!"
The girls and even Ryo-Ohki nodded. They then all got their equipment and hopped
into their respective vehicles, except Tenchi who hopped onto his. They started up the
engines and rode off.
While driving, Tenchi realized that he didn't know where the duel was to take place.
"Hey, girls?" Tenchi began as spoke into the radio on his motorbike, "Do any of you know
where the duel is supposed to take place?"
The girls looked at each other and shook their heads.
"I'm afraid we don't, Pamplemousse," Ayeka returned over her end of the radio, "I'll
contact Miss Washu and find out."
"Sure thing," Tenchi returned, then put the receiver down and returned his hand to the
handlebar.
"Miss Washu? Where is the duel taking place?" Ayeka asked into the radio.
"I'll send the location to you now," Washu answered back over the radio.
"Alright thanks," Ayeka said to Washu she then turned her head and managed to catch
Tenchi's attention, and a gave a thumbs-up, and followed it up with a motion for him to
follow them, Tenchi nodded.
Over at the police headquaters, Lieutenant Kiyone, Sargent Mihoshi, and Commissioner
Katsuhito were discuss the broadcast made by Noboyuki.
"What're we going to do?" Kiyone asked.
"Hmmm...we can't send a full squad out there, for we may endanger the hostages'
lives." Katsuhito answered.
"You're not saying we should stand by and do nothing are you!?" Kiyone snapped back.
"Of course not!" Katsuhito retorted, "Only you two will go."
"Hast thou the knowledge of the precise location of the challenge?" Mihoshi asked.
Katushito nodded, and handed a small piece of paper with the address to Kiyone.
"Mihoshi, let's go!" Kiyone exclaimed.
"Ten Four, Good buddy!" Mihoshi returned.
Kiyone blinked. "Uh... yeah."
And then they were off.
"Drat! They left before I could ask them to pick up some more cocoa, we're almost
right out. Oh wait! I'll get Azaka and Kamidake to do it." Katsuhito muttered to himself.
Now over to the darker part of 'The Dark Side', Noboyuki and The Wonton Seven stand
ready, along with Poopsie, awaiting the arrival of Tenchi and the girls into his trap. To
their delight they didn't have to wait terribly long for Tenchi and crew to arrive.
"Ah! They're here!" Noboyuki blurted out, "Wait for them to come closer."
The Wonton Seven nodded.
"Alright Noboyuki, this time you're going down," Ryoko said approaching.
"That's right!" Sasami added following Ryoko.
"Oh good! The players are all here!" Noboyuki jeered.
"Shut your hole and lets get it on!" Tenchi snapped catching up with Ryoko and Sasami,
Ayeka was not too far behind.
"Tsk tsk tsk, such impatience," Noboyuki said with a nasty grin on his face, "Allow me
introduce my elite team that shall be your ultimate downfall, MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"
The Wonton Seven then stepped forward.
"I am Russian Wombat," he stated.
"I am Scandinavian Water Buffalo," he followed.
"I am German Platypus," he followed after.
"I am Zimbobwayian Ostrich," he too stated.
"Brazilian Ardvark," he said bluntly.
"East St Louis Titmouse!" he exclaimed.
"And I'm Mister Thou, leader of The Wonton Seven." she ended the introductions.
"Uh...you're a woman," Ayeka pointed out.
"It's a long story," Mister Thou replied.
"Now it's your turn," Noboyuki spoke as he extended his hand inviting them to do their
introductions.
Tenchi and the girls looked at each other, shrugged, took their positions and
prepared for their introductions.
"I am Pamplemousse!" Tenchi began.
"I am Wooden Maiden!" Ayeka added.
"I am Miss Mayhem!" Ryoko also added.
"I am Iron Chef!" Sasami added in as well.
"Together, we are....Three girls and a guy and a cabbit!" they said in unison, each of
them striking a pose.
"Miya miya miya!!" Ryo-Ohki finished hopping on to Sasami's shoulder.
"Good, now that's all taken care of, we can get on with the fight," Noboyuki commented
smugly, "Go get them!"
And the fight was on. Tenchi took on Noboyuki and Scandinavian Water Buffalo, Ayeka
accepted the challenge from Mister Thou and German Platypus, while Sasami was turning up the
heat on Brazilian Ardvark and East St Louis Titmouse, leaving Ryoko with Russian Wombat,
Zibobwayian Ostrich and Poopsie. Ryo-Ohki watched from a safe distance while doing her best
to cheer on her new comrades.
The battle seemed to go on forever. Tenchi and the girls were having trouble keeping
their foes down. To them it seemed when one when down they'd get swarmed by the others, and
instead of a fight they were fighting it turned into more of a brawl. Tenchi managed to
score some hits on Russian Wombat but in return got smoked by Mister Thou, who in return got
smacked up-side the head by Sasami, and so on. This went on for at least twenty minutes.
Now things started to look grim, for Tenchi and the girls. Noboyuki and his crew
had them pinned into a corner, when Kiyone and Mihoshi pulled up in their unmarked crusier.
"Don't give, you guys!" Kiyone hollered, "We're here to help! Mihoshi, let's go!"
"For sooth!" Mihoshi cried as she Kiyone charged the swarm that was Noboyuki and his
crew.
"What do we do now, boss?!" Poopsie blurted, in a panic.
"Get 'em all!" Noboyuki bellowed.
Tenchi and the girls felt refreshed upon seeing their reinforcments. So with renewed
spirit they fought back with more force than they thought they had. With the addition of
Kiyone and Mihoshi, the forces of Noboyuki were defeated and cuffed swiftly and with little
difficulty.
When the fight was over and the hostages freed, Kiyone turned to speak to Tenchi and
the girls.
"Well that wraps up...this mess...?" Kiyone trailed off while trying to find Tenchi,
"Uh... where'd they go?"
Mihoshi looked around as well, "They hath made like phantoms and vanished...again!"
"Indeed," Kiyone commented sagely.
"And I wanted to thank them for helping rescue us too," the female reporter said
disappointedly, "I was going to do big scoop on them, oh well, maybe next time."
"Lets take these ruffians downtown, and have them put away for awhile," Kiyone said
walking over to Noboyuki and his crew.
"These nefarious rapscallions indeed need to be betrothed to bars of steel, lest all
be for naught," Mihoshi agreed.
Back at Washu's lab, Tenchi and the girls had returned from their latest mission.
"My, don't you lot look worse-for-wear," Washu commented, looking them over.
"We were totally outnumbered, but if it weren't for those two cops showing up again
we would've been done for," Ayeka responded.
"I guess you guys need more training in fighting while outnumbered," Washu countered.
"Seems that way," Tenchi said rubbing some of his aching body.
"Well, we'll save that for another day," Washu said warmly, "Go get changed and hop
into the hottub, it'll do ya some good."
"Sounds good, 'cause I'm beat," Ryoko replied with the thought of being nearly
naked with Tenchi running throught her head.
"I agree," Ayeka added who also shared the same naughty thought as Ryoko.
They all went off to their changing rooms, got changed and went to the hottub for some
well deserved r and r.
(Ending Theme: "BUT BUT BUT", from 'Slayers')
Ending notes: As they say, 'that's all she wrote', but in my case it's 'that's all he wrote'.
I hope you enjoyed reading it. For those of you who are wondering what the foreign words I
used mean here's what they are: 'Pamplemousse' is French for, 'grapefruit', 'Der Weg
zur Falle' is German for, 'This way to trap', and 'Der Weg zu den Geiseln' is German for
'This way to hostages'. And be on the lookout for the next installment of 'Three girls and
a guy and cabbit' mini-series: When the cows come home.
Send all coments and stuff to: the_crusader45@hotmail.com
Thanks for reading!
by Zelgabunny
Disclaimer: Now hear this, I do not own any of the Tenchi cast, they are owned by Pioneer
and AIC, remember it's not cool to sue. ^_^
With that said on to story.
I would like to thank Firebird, The Entry Plug, and Beaglesan
for prereading this monstrosity of my imagination.
(Opening Theme: "NAGARE BOSHI", from 'RG Veda')
Part 1: The beginning of the story
It was a calm, peaceful night in the city of "The", or properly known as "The City".
Not much was happening in the city, just the occasional burgulery and homicide. Nothing
The City's police force couldn't handle. The main force was headed by Lieutenant Kiyone,
together with her loyal partner Sargent Mihoshi, they clean up the rotten refuse known as
crime with grace, accuracy, and most often, dumb luck.
Now to the dark side of the city, known as, "The Dark Side", in the secret hideout
of the nefarious criminal mastermind with his furry little sidekick, Ryo-Ohki, the evil
Noboyuki. We find him formulating his latest scheme.
"Ha ha ha ha!" cackled Noboyuki, "I've done it again!"
"Uh, what is it, boss?" asked one his henchman, looking up from
his hand of cards.
"Why it's only my next plan to torment the city!" returned Noboyuki with an evil
grin.
"So are you gonna tell us what it is?" questioned another henchman, who also looked
up from a hand cards.
"But, of course, Snook-ums." hissed Noboyuki as a sinister grin stretched across
his lips. "I plan on kidnapping Mayor Kagato's daughter, Mitsuki, not just her but also
police Commissioner Katsuhito's daughter, Achika! Then demand an outragous ransom!
Ha ha ha ha ha!"
"Miya ha ha ha ha!" chimed in Ryo-Ohki.
"Who said *you* could laugh!?" demanded Noboyuki.
"Miya!" exclaimed Ryo-Ohki as she dashed to hide behind Snook-ums' legs.
"Hey! That's pretty good, boss! But how much are you gonna
demand?" asked one of the non-card playing henchman.
"Hmmm.......good question, Cuddles. What would you suggest?" replied Noboyuki as
he shot a menacing glare towards Cuddles.
"W,w,well," stammered a frightened Cuddles. "h,h,how about.....four million?"
"Hmmm...." started Noboyuki quietly, "not bad, Cuddles."
"R,really?" responded Cuddles as he relaxed a bit.
"Yes! Really!" Noboyuki said half mocking.
All of his henchmen now had their gazes locked on to Noboyuki. Not one of them
dare to speak until their boss was done.
"Buuuuuut! THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!!!" He shouted, causing everyone, including the already
cowering Ryo-Ohki, to cringe in terror.
"So, uh, what would you suggest, boss?" Snook-ums ventured to ask.
"How about......" Noboyuki paused, "fourty billion?"
"D'uuuuh, is that a lot?" asked the other non-card playing henchman.
"Yes, Poopsie, it is!" Noboyuki answered as if he was talking to child.
"So what would you do with all that money, boss?" questioned Cuddles after regaining
his composure.
"Well, I was thinking of buying some really big guns, or a restaurant chain or three.
Whatever I decide on, I can get lots of it. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!" answered Noboyuki
laughing evily.
At that point Ryo-Ohki hopped back on to the card table and chimed in with her own
evil laugh.
"Yes! Everyone laugh! Laugh with all you've got! HA HA HA HA HA!"
And at which point all of his henchmen shrugged and then joined in and the whole base
resounded loudly with their evil laughter. This angered the neighbours greatly.
The next day, in a different part of the city. We find Tenchi walking home with
Sasami from school, along the way they stopped by the local comic book store for some Pog.
"Thanks for the extra money, Tenchi!" exclaimed Sasami as she was thumbing through
her newly acquired Pog.
"No problem, Sasami, and don't worry about paying me back, it's my treat." returned
Tenchi who also was thumbing through his new Pog.
"Really!? Thanks Tenchi!" Sasami squeeled, and jumped up and gave Tenchi a big
squeeze.
"Sure....! No........prob......lem!" Tenchi replyed as he was being crushed by
Sasami's big squeeze.
"Oops! Sorry about that!" appologized Sasami after she realized she was crushing
Tenchi's ribcage and thus dropping him.
"Say, isn't this your place, Sasami?" Tenchi asked while getting up and and
finished recovering from Sasami's 'hug'.
"Huh?" Sasami started, "Boy that was quick! Would you like to come in for a bit?"
"Sure. Besides I have something for Ayeka." said Tenchi.
"What is it?"
"Homework."
Inside Sasami's house in Ayeka's room. Tenchi is explaining the assignments that
were given earlier in the day.
"And that's that." Tenchi said as he finished explaining everything. "Did you
understand everything?"
"Yes, I did. Thank you, Tenchi." replyed Ayeka.
He smiled, "I'm glad. Well, I must be going." Tenchi said, while standing and
stretching.
"Really? So soon?" Ayeka asked a little shocked.
"Yeah, I have to go over to Ryoko's place, and give her the assignment as well."
Tenchi answered.
"But, I was hoping you'd stay for dinner, Sasami's making your favorite dish,"
Ayeka started, "right, Sasami!?"
Sasami thought to herself, "I am?" Then she hollered back, "I am!"
Tenchi, was now beginning to feel unsure of himself, and the thought of turning
down not only a free dinner, but also crushing Sasami's feelings was making him feel like
an ogre.
"Well, sure! Why not!" Tenchi finally said after a few seconds of reluctance.
"You will!?" exclaimed Ayeka as her face lit up.
"Yeah, I will." Tenchi said while he checked his watch.
"Something wrong, Tenchi?" Ayeka asked.
"Yeah." Tenchi replied slowly.
"Is there anything I can help with?" inquiered Ayeka.
Tenchi's face perked up. "Yes, there is!"
Ayeka's face shone. "Really? What is it?"
"You can move outta the way." Tenchi returned with some urgency.
Ayeka was stunned, and she could get out was,"huh?"
Tenchi took her by the shoulders and lead her over to one side of the door and
dashed down the stairs, and leapt on to the couch and turned the TV channel to his
favorite cartoon.
"The Transformers will return after this commercial break!" the TV voice said.
"Drat-it-all! I missed the opening!" Tenchi fummed.
Ayeka walked down the stairs and moved behind him. "Uhhhh.....aren't you a little
*old* for cartoons?"
"Why, of course not! What made you say such a thing!?" Tenchi shot back.
"Well, for starters, you're not a kid, you're in college, and that one is a relic
from the past." Ayeka retorted.
"Very good reasons, but not good enough!" Tenchi snapped back childlishly.
"Heeeeeeeey!" Sasami exclaimed, "I was watching that!"
"Huh? You were?" Tenchi asked a little surprised, "Weren't you making supper?"
"I am, it doesn't take that long to prepare it." Sasami answered.
"Oh yeah..... what were you watching?" Tenchi inquiered.
"I *was* watching the premier of the new season of Digimon." Sasami returned a
little miffed.
"What!? Really!? They still show that awful thing?" exclaimed a shocked Tenchi.
"Yes, now return to it," demanded Sasami, "Or, no supper for you!"
Tenchi sighed and the channel. "Fine, you win."
"Yay! Thank you!" Sasami squeeled.
"Cardboard-boxmon, Super-uber-mega-ultra-flashy digivolve to..... YAKMON!"
exclaimed the TV character.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttt........." Tenchi uttered under his
breath.
"You'll not get away this time, Reclining-chairmon!" shouted the character now known
as Yakmon, "Silver-spoon-spam attack!"
"Eeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhh!!!!" screamed the character known
as Reclining-chairmon.
The three of them just stared blankly at the spectacle that just unfolded before their
eyes. After what seemed like minutes but was actually ten seconds, Sasami finally piped up.
"The creators must be really running out of ideas."
"Yeah, I guess after seven seasons they finaly hit rock-bottom." replied Tenchi.
"I think supper's ready......" Sasami trailed off.
"Yeah...... okay........" Tenchi, still stunned, managed to squeak out.
At that point Tenchi and Sasami began to make their way to the kitchen, they paused,
turned around, each took an arm and began to drag Ayeka with them.
---------A half hour later---------
"Ahhh! Thanks for a wonderful meal, Sasami!" Tenchi said as he patted his stomach.
"No problem, Tenchi!" Sasami giggled, "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"Indeed, that was most excellent." Ayeka added.
"Now I must leave," Tenchi began, "sorry to run off like this."
"Fine..." Ayeka pouted.
"Bye, Tenchi!" said Sasami.
"Bye, Sasami! Bye, Ayeka!" Tenchi returned as he began to move to the door.
Now back over on "The Dark Side". We find that Nobuyuki is placing the final touches
to his plan.
"Alright, you knuckle-heads know what to do, right?" asked Noboyuki as he eyed his
goons.
They all nodded.
"Good. Hunny-bun, Sweet-ums, and Cuddles will go after Mitsuki. Snuggle-Bunny,
Snook-ums, Poopsie, you'll take Ryo-Ohki with you to get Achika. Apartently she absolutely
loves anything that is cute, I believe she gets it from her late mother Misaki." Noboyuki
instructed.
"We're good to go, boss." Snuggle-Bunny stated.
"Then what're you still doing here? Get goin'!" Noboyuki shouted.
---------One hour later---------
"Unhand me you lummex! I'll scream!" demanded the struggling girl.
"Hey, Sweet-ums! Gag her!" ordered Hunny-bun.
"Sorry, about this, Ms. Mitsuki, but you wont shut up." appologized Sweet-ums.
"Hey wa....mmmmfff!" Mitsuki tried to say before being gagged.
"Lets go back to the boss," announced Cuddles.
Hunny-bun, and Sweet-ums both nodded.
Now over to Snuggle-Bunny, Snook-ums, Poopsie and Ryo-Ohki who were stationed
below Achika's second floor room.
"Okay, you know what to do, right?" asked Snuggle-Bunny.
Ryo-Ohki looked up at the big thug and gave a thumbs-up sign.
"Good, now hop to it," replied Snuggle-Bunny to the sign.
Inside the room, Achika was munching on a pita while working on the same assignment
that Ayeka and Tenchi were working on, except she was having trouble.
"Blast! I don't get any of this!" Achika blurrted. "Hmmmm....I wonder if that geek
Tenchi is home? He'd know what to do, but Ayeka and Ryoko are probably fighting over him
right now.... wait....they were sick today so maybe I *can* get him to help me."
She got up and began to move over to her phone, she picked up the reciever and
proceeded to dial Tenchi's number, but before she could finish entering the last number,
Ryo-Ohki caught her eye. She placed the reciever back on its rest, and started to inch her
way over to Ryo-Ohki making sure not to frighten the little cabbit, as she was approaching
her, Ryo-Ohki began to creep closer to Achika in a timid fashion. Finally the two met,
Achika sat on the floor, and Ryo-Ohki was in her lap taking in all the attention being
showered on her.
"You really like that don't you? And I just can't get over how cute you are!" Achika
said she began to lift Ryo-Ohki up, and proceeded to give her a crushing hug.
"Okay! Now's our chance to nab her while she's still distracted with the little
furball!" Snook-ums exclaimed as he made his way into Achika's room with some rope and a sack.
Snuggle-Bunny followed behind him carrying a gag. "I'm right behind you."
Achika finally released Ryo-Ohki, and began turn around to see
the source of the sound she heard, as she did she saw Snuggle-Bunny's
refelection in her mirror, she began to take a deep breath and before she had the chance
release it in the form of a scream, she was bound, gagged, and sacked.
"Got her! Good job, little one!" praised Snook-ums.
Ryo-Ohki staggered about trying to recover from Achika's 'hug', she gave another
thumbs-up sign and collapsed from the 'hug'.
"Hey! Poopsie! Catch the girl!" Snuggle-Bunny hollered down to Poopsie.
"'Kay!" Poopsie hollered back.
"Right, here she comes!"
As Poopsie waited for Achika to fall into his arms, he spied a penny in the grass, he
bent over to pick it thus missing his chance to catch Achika, but forturnetly for her, she
landed on a conviently placed matress with muffled 'oof'. Snook-ums and Snuggle-Bunny looked
down at Poopsie who was now dancing around like a fool after obtaining his shinny new penny,
then they looked at each other, looked back at Poopsie and at the same time muttered, "that
idiot".
"Lets go back to the boss." Snook-ums ordered, and jumped down to the lawn below,
Snuggle-Bunny nodded and followed after him.
Over at Ryoko's place, Tenchi was trying to teach Ryoko the same assignments that he
taught Ayeka not too long ago, but was having little success.
"Do you understand now?" Tenchi asked while trying hold back his frustration.
"Nope! Not at all!" Ryoko returned.
"Okay," Tenchi began, "for seventh time... it goes like this."
Tenchi proceeded to teach the whole assignment yet again. As he neared the end, he
noticed that Ryoko showed signs of not understanding it again.
"Did you get it this time?" Tenchi asked with a vain hope that she did.
Ryoko just shook her head and said, "Not at all."
Tenchi fell over and muttered, "Oi."
"Hmmmm... let me try it like this," Ryoko said as she began completing the part of
the assignment Tenchi just finished going over.
Tenchi got back up to an upright position, and watched in amazment as Ryoko completed
her work.
"Is that right?" asked Ryoko.
"......yeah......" a stunned Tenchi returned.
"Yay! That was easy!" Ryoko giggled.
"How? You said you didn't get it." Tenchi asked totally baffled.
"Like this." Ryoko said as she began to show Tenchi what she did.
"Uh, that's exactly how I showed you," stated Tenchi.
"Oh! My way is much easier!" Ryoko exclaimed.
"But....nevermind." Tenchi said.
"Now.....let's snuggle!" Ryoko blurted as she lunged at Tenchi.
Tenchi dodged, "I really got to go! I... uh got some other stuff... I need to do...
yeah that's it."
"It can wait." Ryoko countered.
Tenchi quickly grabbed his stuff and dashed for the door but Ryoko blocked him.
"Going somewhere...?" Ryoko said seductively.
Tenchi began to franticly try to come up with a way to get Ryoko out of the way, but
only managed to come up with, "What's that outside the window?" He now felt like a total
moron for using the oldest trick in "the book".
Ryoko turned her head to where Tenchi had pointed, "Wha, where?"
Taking the opening that had now opened for him Tenchi he managed to slip by her. When
she finally realized that she had been dooped, all she could say was, "Phooey! He got away!"
Part 2: The middle of the story
Deep inside a darkened room, sat a petite scientist with long red hair that drooped
onto the floor a little, she was watching a few moniters that were showing various things,
one was showing a news report on the rescent kidnappings of Mayor Kagato's daughter, Mitsuki,
and police comissioner Katsuhito's daughter Achika, the others were showing Tenchi, Ayeka,
Ryoko, and Sasami doing various activities.
"Yessss...." the scientist whispered to herself, "they will do perfectly!" She then
made a motion, and one of her assistants came up to her.
"Yes, what is it?" asked the assistant.
"Bring to me those four people," she responded, "And make sure to have the outfits
ready for them."
"Of course, at once," her assistant replyed. He then turned and left the scientist
alone.
"This kind of injustice shall not be tolerated! I'd go myself but I'm scientist not a
warrior! These four will do. I've been watching them very carefully for a while... they will
not fail me," she said to herself.
We now find Tenchi walking home with Ayeka and Ryoko clinging to each of his arms,
along with Sasami a few steps ahead, skipping along while listening to some music from her
walkman, when all of a sudden a black van pulled up and two men in white coats hopped out
stepped in front of them.
"Are you four Tenchi, Ayeka, Ryoko and Sasami?" one man asked.
They all nodded.
"Good, please come with us," the other man said.
"Why? We're all perfectly sane." Tenchi questioned.
"You four have been chosen," the first man answered.
"Chosen for what?" asked Ayeka.
"You've been chosen to be the new defenders of justice," returned the second man.
"And what if we choose not to go?" Ryoko piped in.
"You'll miss out on saving lives, and a really big pay cheque," retorted the first man.
"We're in!" the four said in unison.
"Excellent, this way please..." the second man said while opening up the back of the
van.
---------thirty minutes later---------
"Um...excuse me but they have arrived," said one of the scientist's assistents.
"Very good, show them in," she returned.
"Yes ma'am," her assistent said and then turned and went to the lab door. "The doctor
will see you now."
Tenchi, Sasami, Ayeka, and Ryoko all entered the lab and went to where the short
red-headed scientist was now standing.
"Greetings," she began, "I am professor Washu, but you can call me 'Little' Washu!"
"Hello, I'm..." Tenchi started but Washu cut him off.
"I know who you all are. I know *lots* about you." Washu said.
"What are we going to do now, Little Washu?" Ayeka asked.
"You're gonna up those stairs," she turned to point at the stairs, "and each of you
will go into your own change room and put on the costume that is in there, afterwards you'll
come back down here and I'll give each of you your superhero names. It's as simple as that."
At that point they each went the stairs that Washu had pointed to and went into the
change rooms. After about five minutes the three girls emerged from the change rooms in their
new costumes. All of the costumes were basically the same. They were common fukus with some
excentric colors. Ayeka's was white with hot green, Sasami's was white with hot orange, and
Ryoko's was white with hot yellow. And each of them had a belt with different letters on them.
Ayeka had 'WM', Sasami had 'IC', and Ryoko had 'MM'.
"Alright..." Washu began, "uh, where's Tenchi?"
The three girls looked around then looked back at his change room door and they noticed
that it was still closed.
"I'll go get him." Sasami said and she bounded up the stairs, and knocked on the door.
"Tenchi? Aren't you coming out?"
"Not dressed like this!" Tenchi shouted through the door.
"Why not?" Sasami returned.
"I look absolutly ridiculous!" Tenchi shouted through door again.
"Come on, it can't be *that* bad." Sasami pleaded.
Losing her patience, Washu reached in to her pocket and pulled out a small remote with
only a few buttons on it, and pressed one of the buttons, which caused Tenchi to come flying
out of his change room, Washu then returned the remote to her pocket. Tenchi shot to his feet,
with his face beet red. He too was wearing the same style of costume. His was white with hot
pink and he too had a belt with lettering on it, 'P' was on his.
"Now," Washu began, "lets take a good look at the lot of you."
Sasami came back down the stairs, and the four of them lined up in a
straight line.
"Mmmmm...looking good, everything seems to fit nicely," Washu said looking
over the three girls then coming to Tenchi, "hmmmm....everything looks good but one
thing."
"Huh? What's that?" Tenchi asked still blushing but not as brightly.
"It's those legs of yours. They're too hairy. You'll need to shave them." Washu
answered.
"You're joking, right?" Tenchi questioned shocked.
Washu shook her head and said, "You'll look better in that outfit if you shave your
legs."
Tenchi sighed and with some reluctance said, "Fine."
"Good, now for the final pieces." Washu said as she handed out four masks, which were
white, and the sides stretched out to form a rounded point. "Here, put these on."
They did as instucted. Then Washu beckoned them to follow her, which they did, she led
them over to a large storage cabinet. She handed them each a weapon. For Tenchi there was a
bokken, Ayeka recieved a pair of fairly large fans, Sasami got a slightly oversized wok, and
Ryoko got a big gatling gun.
"I'll now explain some of the features of your weapons." Washu stated, "Tenchi, your
bokken has been crafted from several hard woods so it's light and wont break easily. Ayeka,
your fans are obviously larger than normal that's so you can do some serious wacking of
enemy heads and various other body parts. Sasami, your wok is also over-sized for the same
reasons as for Ayekas fans, also it is guaranteed never to dent, so you can also cook with
it. And now for Ryoko, your gun is designed to take out opponents with out killing them,
so in other words it's a rapid-fire stun-gun. And now for your hero names, Sasami you're
the 'Iron Chef', Ayeka you're 'Wooden Maiden', Ryoko you're Miss Mayhem, and Tenchi you're
'Pamplemousse'."
"Uh...what's that?" Tenchi asked dumb-founded.
"It's French, I'll let you figure it out later." Washu said snickering.
"I don't like the sounds of this." Tenchi commented with some worry.
"Alright, here's your first assignment." Washu announced. "You're to go down
to 'The Dark Side' and rescue the hostages. Here read this." Washu then handed a piece of
paper to Tenchi.
Tenchi read it aloud with some difficulty,
"Deer Mair, and Commishoner,
I have uoor daweters. U shall bring fortee billyon dollars to 'The Dark Sighed',
if u do knot bring the monee in twelf ours of getting this noat, I shal have them tortchured
until they r 2 insayn 2 funkshon in sosighetee. Have a nice dey.
Love, Noboyuki.
PS. I mean it."
"How did you get this?" Sasami asked.
"I have a contact in the police force." Washu returned boastfully.
"When do we leave?" Ryoko asked.
"You leave as soon as Tenchi shaves his legs."
---------fifteen minutes later---------
"Did you know that you've got really nice legs?" Ayeka asked.
"Uh...thanks...I think..." Tenchi managed to reply.
"Excuse me, Miss Washu?" Sasami began.
"Yes, Iron Chef?" Washu replyed.
"Um, how are we gonna get there? None of those three have a car." Sasami finished.
"Well, do all of you have your gear?"
They nodded.
"Here you go, Pamplemousse," Washu said as she handed Tenchi a set of keys, "and for
you girls," she handed Ryoko and Ayeka set of keys as well.
"What are these for?" Ryoko asked looking at the keys.
"They're for your vehicles." Washu responded. "Follow me."
They followed after the short scientist over to what looked a launch pad of some-sorts.
Washu then pulled out her remote and clicked one of the buttons, which then activated a bunch
of lights, revealing a flashy motorcycle and an equally flashy two-door sports-car. Tenchi,
Sasami, Ayeka, and Ryoko stood in awe of the beautiful works of machinery .
"Girls, the car is for you, which then leaves the bike for Pamplemousse." Washu
stated.
"Um, why do you keep calling him that?" Ayeka asked.
"So you get in the habit yourselves, no one is to know who you really are," Washu
answered.
"Oh," was all that Ayeka could return to the simple answer she recieved.
"Now, you must go, there isn't much time left." Washu said urgently.
"Let's go, team!" Tenchi exclaimed as he hopped on to his new motorbike.
The girls nodded and then piled into their car.
Meanwhile over at the police station, we find Mayor Kagato and Commissioner Katsuhito
discussing the same note that Tenchi had just finished reading.
"This bad. Very bad." Mayor Kagato said as paced back and forth.
"You must try to calm yourself." Commissioner Katsuhito said trying to help.
"Calm? I *am* calm!" Kagato yelled.
"Don't worry I've got my best officers on the job." Katsuhito said reassuringly.
"Really? Who?" asked Kagato hopefully.
"Lieutenent Kiyone, and Sargent Mihoshi." answered Katsuhito.
"Oh, I see." Kagato responded trying to show some excitment.
"Cocoa, sir?" Katsuhito asked.
Now over in 'The Dark Side', Tenchi and the girls have just arrived at Noboyuki's
hideout, and are trying to figure out how to get in.
"Is this right place?" Sasami inquired.
"It sure is." Ryoko responded.
"How do you know?" Sasami replied quickly.
"I believe that gives it away." Ryoko returned pointing over at a sign.
The sign read, "Welcome to Noboyuki's hideout" in big neon lights.
"That makes sense." Sasami concluded.
"Any ideas of how to get in?" Ayeka asked.
Ryoko chucked her thumb over her shoulder. "Why don't we use the front door?"
"C'mon, Ryo...er Miss Mayhem, no normal superhero does it like that." Tenchi returned
"You forget we're not normal superheroes." Ryoko countered.
"Oh yeah," was Tenchi's reply.
"Let's give it a try, I guess." Ayeka sighed.
They then walked over to the door, and surprisingly enough it was open. They then
entered but little did they realize that they were being watched the whole time.
"Is everything ready?" asked Noboyuki.
"Just like you ordered, boss." Hunny-bun answered.
"Excellent!" hissed Noboyuki with evil delight.
After Tenchi and the girls had entered the hideout they traveled a ways in when they
encountered a pair of doors each having a sign, one read "Der Weg zu den Geiseln", and the
other read "Der Weg zur Falle".
"Can anyone read these?" asked Sasami.
"I can't." Tenchi answered.
Ryoko barged ahead, "I say it's this one."
"Wait! You sure?" Ayeka asked as she followed.
Tenchi and Sasami followed after them, they then found themselves surounded by
Noboyuki's henchmen.
"Welcome to my trap, honored guests!" greeted Noboyuki.
"Your evil ways stop here, you villanous-type person!" Tenchi said attempting to be
heroic.
"Oh yeah? And who might you four be?" Noboyuki asked smugly.
"I am 'Pamplemousse'!" Tenchi returned.
"I am 'Wooden Maiden'!" Ayeka added.
"I am 'Miss Mayhem'!" Ryoko also added.
"I am 'Iron Chef'!" Sasami added in as well.
"Together, we are....'Three girls and a guy'!" they said in unison.
Noboyuki and his gang turned to look at each other, then back at Tenchi and the girls,
Noboyuki then said, "Get them!" At that point his gang then rushed Tenchi and the girls, and
a fight ensued.
"I'll take care of Noboyuki, you three take of his goons," ordered Tenchi.
The girls nodded and then leapt into action. Tenchi quickly made his way over to where
Noboyuki was, Noboyuki then started running. Tenchi pursued Noboyuki while swinging his
bokken in an attempt to hit the fleeing criminal mastermind but ending up hitting various
boxes and crates instead, also causing various objects to fall in his way as he persued his
target.
Ryoko was getting a kick out of keeping her 'friends' at bay with her stun-gun, she
then turned her attention over to where Sasami was. Sasami was being over-powered by a couple
of Noboyuki's men. Ryoko then quickly pivoted around to fire and aid her comrade, but her
attempt was thwarted by a frying pan to the back of the head which rendered her unconscious.
Ayeka was smacking her foes repeatedly, but they kept coming at her no matter how many times
she'd hit them.
Sasami then dashed over to her sister's side but was clobbered and knocked out by
Ayeka's fans. Ayeka turned to see what she did, but she too was jumped from behind and
knocked out. Tenchi finally managed to pin Noboyuki into a corner. Noboyuki looked over one
of Tenchi's shoulders and felt some relief at the sight of his men coming up behind Tenchi.
Tenchi turned around to see what Noboyuki saw, as he did he was swarmed by the group of
henchmen, and he too was knocked out cold.
"Good work, boys! Tie 'em up and stick 'em with the hostages." Noboyuki ordered as he
came out of the corner.
Outside of the hideout a police squad car pulled up, and out stepped two female
officers. One had a lean build with long dark green hair, her partner had a tanned
complextion with long blond hair.
"This must be the place," the dark green haired officer stated.
"T'would appear thine words art of plausible descent," her partner confirmed.
"What do you think, Mihoshi," began the first officer, "should we call for back up?"
"Thine wisdom is infallable, Kiyone," Mihoshi returned.
"This is Lieutenant Kiyone requesting back up," Kiyone spoke into a walkie talkie.
"Roger that. Please hold your position," a voice crackled back.
"Now we wait," Kiyone anounced.
Mihoshi nodded.
After about five minutes of waiting a second pulled behind the two female officers.
Out of the car stepped two male officers. One stood about six feet five inches, he had a
slender build, the other stood about five feet two inches, he had a very pudgy build. The
two officers walked over to where Kiyone and Mihoshi were standing.
"You call back up?" the tall officer asked.
"Ah!" Kiyone began, turning toward the approaching men, "That was... fast..."
"Is something wrong?" asked the short officer.
"...where is my back up?" Kiyone replied.
"That would be us," the tall officer returned, "Everyone else is busy with something
or something."
Kiyone just stood there for a moment dumbfounded, she then shook her head in order to
regain her focus.
"Alright, here's the plan," Kiyone began, "Azaka, you and Kamidake cover the sides,
Mihoshi and I shall try negotiating with Noboyuki."
Azaka and Kamidake nodded and took off to their respective positions. Seconds later
a voice crackled over the radio and said, "Azaka in position." And seconds after that,
"Kamidake in position."
"Our comrades in arms have had speed befall them and have arrived upon their position
of favorable aptitude, Kiyone," Mihoshi announced.
"Right," Kiyone said raising a bullhorn, that she got out of the trunk of her squad car
while Azaka and Kamidake were getting into position, "Noboyuki! We have you nearly surrounded!
Come out with your hands up!"
At that point Noboyuki stuck his head out a window and shouted back at the lady
officer, "Not by the hair on my chiny-chin-chin!" after that he ducked back in and shut the
window.
"Hmmm, he's not giving us whole lot of options," Kiyone stated.
"Indeed." Mihoshi concured.
"Mihoshi, tell Azaka and Kamidake to return here, and wait for us," Kiyone instructed,
"we're going in."
Mihoshi nodded and spoke into the radio, "Azaka, Kamidake, returneth hither, Kiyone
and I art invading yonder hideout."
Azaka and Kamidake, responded and returned to where Kiyone and Mihoshi were.
"Lets go!" Kiyone exclaimed, and headed for the door.
Mihoshi nodded and followed after her partner. After entering the hideout the two
officers found themselves in a dark room.
"What do you think, Mihoshi?" Kiyone asked.
"Mayhaps a hidden door lurks nigh? Let us search the environs." Mihoshi answered.
Upon saying that, two doors appeared, with the same signs as before.
"Can you read those signs?" Kiyone asked.
"Yes, I can," Mihoshi answered.
"Then what do they say?"
"This one says, 'Der Weg zu den Geiseln', and that one says 'Der Weg zur Falle'."
"And what do they mean?"
"I hath no knowledge for deceifering the intended message."
"But you said you could read them."
"And I did readeth them, thou didst not specify to give meaning to the words written
upon yon signs."
"Alright, new plan, which door?"
"I suggesteth 'Der Weg zur Falle'."
"Right, let's go!"
The officers then opened the door and barged in, said the popular police phrase, "Halt!
You're all under arrest!" They were then ambushed by Noboyuki's men.
"Welcome, dear friends," Noboyuki greeted, "what a pleasent surprise!"
"Can the crap, Noboyuki! You're coming with us." Kiyone snapped back.
"Do you have the ransom money?" Noboyuki asked.
"Of course not! We've come to take you down!" Kiyone exclaimed back.
"Then, I'm afraid you'll just have to join my growing collection of hostages."
Noboyuki said slyly.
"Hark! Dost thou wish to express clarity within the peach of thine speech?"
"Allow me to show you what I mean." Noboyuki gestured over to a nearby TV set. He then
pulled out a remote and clicked one of the buttons, the screen flickered on. The screen
showed Achika, Mitsuki, Tenchi and the other girls strapped to poles with seatbelts, on their
on fingers were Chinense finger-traps one on each set of fingures except for the thumbs, the
camera then panned down to show their feet everyone had their showlaces tied together.
Everyone seemed to pain of some sort for they were thrashing their heads around, except for
Tenchi, he was laughing his guts out.
"What have you done to them!?" Kiyone demanded.
"It's just simple torture." Noboyuki calmly returned.
"Thou art truely despicable!" Mihoshi chimed in.
"Who? Me?" Noboyuki asked in mock surprise.
"Mihoshi get him! We must rescue them before any more damage is done!" Kiyone
exclaimed.
"Indeed!" Mihoshi agreed.
"Well then... get them!" Noboyuki shouted, "Uh, where's Poopsie?"
"He's in the can, boss," responded Cuddles.
"I see, forget him. Just get those dames!" Noboyuki ordered.
Now the battle began, between Noboyuki's men and the two female officers. But after
a matter seconds all of Noboyuki's men were down and out and also cuffed.
"Now it's your turn." Kiyone said approaching Noboyuki, Mihoshi beside her.
"Good help is so hard to find," Noboyuki commented looking at his fallen men then at the
approaching officers, "Looks like it's up to me." Noboyuki then pulled out his remote once
again and clicked a different button. This one caused two frying pans to fall from the
ceiling and land right on top of the two officers rendering them unconscious. Poopsie
then stepped out of the little boys room.
"Good help is so hard to find these days," Noboyuki muttered to himself.
"Uh, what's goin' on boss?" Poopsie asked looking around.
"Just shut up, and help me strap these two up with the others!" Noboyuki ordered.
Poopsie did as he was ordered.
"What're we gonna do now, boss?" Poopsie inquired following Noboyuki to a back door.
"We're going to the other base." Noboyuki answered.
"What about the money?"
"We'll figure out another plan for that."
"How about the others?"
"Forget them."
"What about the hostages?"
"We'll be back for them later, it'll still be a while longer before their 'treatment'
is done with."
"But...but..."
"Just shut up, and lets go!"
After that they were gone. Over in the room where everyone was being held prisoner.
Kiyone and Mihoshi finally woke up.
"So you're back with us now, eh?" Ayeka commented.
"Who...who are you?" Kiyone asked still groggy.
"That doesn't matter now, we must get outta here before it starts again!" Ryoko
snapped.
"She's right, Pamplemousse can't take much more." Sasami said with concern.
"More? More what?" inquiered Kiyone.
"Laughter," Sasami returned.
"Right, Mihoshi what do you think of the situation?" Kiyone nodded and asked.
"Hmmmm..." Mihoshi began, "t'would appear we are fucked."
"Great, just great," Achika spoke sarcasticly, "our rescuers rescuers need to be
rescued."
"Yeah," Mitsuki added, "if you only brought the money we wouldn't all be in this mess."
"Just...(huff) stop...(puff) it..." Tenchi said still catching his breath.
"Prithee, when dost the clock strike thine time in which our eyes shall be
privy to fall betwixt upon this demon of companionship?" Mihoshi asked.
"I say we got about three minutes... if we're lucky." Ayeka answered.
"Anybody got any ideas?" Tenchi asked finally catching his breath.
"I managed to figure these things out," Sasami said releasing her top fingers.
"Really? How?" Ayeka asked.
"Just push in with your fingers grab the trap with your thumbs and slowly remove
your fingers from the trap," Sasami explained.
Everyone then did as Sasami instructed, and they were free in no time, with the
exception of their shoelaces. Just then the equipment began to emit noise. It was getting
ready for another "treatment" session.
"Hurry! Everyone out the door!" Ayeka exclaimed, "It's beginning again!"
They all hopped as fast as they could to the door, which for some reason was unlocked,
no one cared why it was unlocked they just wanted out and fast. Everyone then sat on the
ground trying to get the knots out of their footwear.
"That was too close," Ayeka said breathing a sigh of relief.
"What was going to play anyways?" Kiyone asked getting to her feet.
"Really bad, old jokes. Apparently those are the favorite jokes for the one called
Poopsie." Ryoko answered.
"That monster!" Kiyone replyed in horor.
"I don't see what everyone is getting all bent out of shape over, those jokes were
some of the best I've ever heard." Tenchi comment.
All of the girls just stared at him.
"What?"
After a couple minutes of untying shoelaces, everyone was up on their feet.
"It appears that Noboyuki is no longer around in this place," Tenchi commented looking
around.
"Hey! Everyone! Over here!" Sasami shouted.
"What is it?" Kiyone asked.
"They art the minions of the fled knave," Mihoshi answered.
"Maybe they know where Noboyuki went," Ayeka suggested.
Kiyone bent down and grabbed one of the bound henchmen's shirts and jerked him up.
"Ok, scumbag," Kiyone began leering down and that crook, "where's Noboyuki?"
Snook-ums just shook his and spoke, "I ain't tellin'!"
Ryoko then came over to the fallen henchmen with her gun in hand and proceeded to aim
it at his vulnerable area and calmly spoke, "You gonna tell us, now?"
Snook-ums rapidly nodded his and answered, "He went to the back-up hideout, in the
darker part of 'The Dark Side'."
"Where?" Kiyone interagated.
"I don't remember, it's been too long since we last used it," Snook-ums returned.
"How about you guys?" Kiyone asked the other henchmen, "Do you guys remember?"
They all shook their heads no.
"Mayhaps the answer we seek layeth in the archives of the house of the law?" Mihoshi
spoke up.
"It's worth a shot," Kiyone began, "now about you four...huh? Where'd they go?"
"They hath made like phantoms and vanished." Mihoshi concluded.
"Oh well, let's take these guys down to the station and take these two home." Kiyone
ordered.
Mihoshi nodded.
Part 3: The end of the story
We find Noboyuki and Poopsie in the back-up hideout in the darker part of 'The
Dark Side' along seven mysterious people. One of the seven approached Noboyuki.
"Ah! Mister Thou, it's been a while. You're looking as lovely as ever."
"Always the flatterer!" Mister Thou returned, "So what's the problem that you need
us to deal with it?"
"My plan was ruined, my gang has been captured, and those meddlesome 'Superheroes',
got in the way." Noboyuki responded.
"Uh...what about him?" Mister Thou asked.
"Hmmm? Oh, nevermind him, he's an idiot." Noboyuki answered callously.
"I see..." Mister Thou noted.
"Are those them?" Noboyuki asked, refering to the six men behind Mister Thou.
"Yes," Mister Thou replyed, "Allow me to introduce you to, Russian Wombat,
Scandinavian Water Buffalo, German Platypus, Zimbobwayian Ostrich, Brazilian Ardvark, and
East St Louis Titmouse. We are, The Wonton Seven!"
"Excellent, now for phase two," said Noboyuki.
"What was phase one?" Russian Wombat asked.
"Calling the lot of you," Noboyuki informed.
"So what's the plan?" German Platypus inquiered.
"We will lure 'Three girls and One guy' here, and you seven will dispose of them,"
Noboyuki answered.
"Who's that?" Mister Thou questioned.
"It's those superheroes I told you about, that's just what they call themselves,"
Noboyuki returned
"Oh," was all that Mister Thou could add to what Noboyuki had just said.
"Sounds simple enough," Scandinavian Water Buffalo commented.
"How do you expect them to come here?" asked Brazilian Ardvark.
"We'll capture a mobile news team, and use their equipment to broadcast a challenge
to them," was Noboyuki's response.
Now we return to Washu's laboratory, where Tenchi and the girls have returned, along
with Ryo-Ohki.
"You're late!" Washu scolded.
"Sorry, but we ran in to a bit of difficulty," Tenchi appologized.
"Don't worry about it," Washu returned reassuringly, "It was your first assignment,
I guess it's only natural for it to take a bit longer than usual."
"Hey! Wait! Come back here!" Sasami cried, while running after Ryo-Ohki.
"...about that..." Washu began, "why did you bring that along?"
"She didn't want it to go prison with the gang members that were caught," Ayeka said.
"Got you!" Sasami cheered.
"Iron Chef! Bring her over here, please," Washu called to Sasami.
"Okay!" Sasami sang, skipping over to Washu with Ryo-Ohki in her arms.
"So little one, what's your name?" Washu asked Ryo-Ohki.
"miya miya, miya," Ryo-Ohki replied pointing to a tag on her collar.
Washu lifted up the tag and read aloud, "Call me, 'Ryo-Ohki'. So Ryo-Ohki, what shall
we do with you, hmmm...?
"Can we keep her?" Sasami asked.
"Well she is an accessory to kidnapping, and we really shouldn't even have her here.
However if she swears her allegience to us and promises to be a part of this team, then I
don't see why she would need to go any where else." Washu said, looking at Sasami.
"What do you say?" Sasami asked Ryo-Ohki, "You wanna join us?"
Ryo-Ohki put one paw on her heart, the other in the air and nodded.
"I think she's in," Ayeka commented.
"Indeed," Tenchi added.
"Welcome aboard, squirt!" Ryoko congratulated.
"Yay!!" Sasami exclaimed.
"miya!" Ryo-Ohki cheered.
"Why don't you all go rest up stairs, you must be tired from your assignment." Washu
suggested.
They all nodded, then went off to their change rooms. They put back on their regular
street clothes, then proceeded to go upstairs.
---------The next day---------
"Alright, East St Louis Titmouse, Scadinavian Water Buffalo, and Russian Wambat, you
three go capture me mobile news team," Noboyuki instructed.
They nodded and then took off.
"Nice, very nice," Noboyuki commented.
"What is it?" questioned Mister Thou.
"Your men are very efficent. I like that."
"But of course!" Mister Thou boasted, "I train only the best!"
"So I've seen," Noboyuki stated. "However, I must warn you that the 'Three
Girls and a Guy' are one of the fiercest of agrigations."
"Heh," Mister Thou smirked, "They'll be less fierce when they're *dead*."
"Hey," Noboyuki pointed, "You stole that from--"
"No. Shut up."
Now over to Tenchi and the girls. They are on their way back to Washu's laboratory
for some training or something.
"Little Washu! We're here!" Tenchi hollared as he entered the laboratory with Ayeka,
Ryoko, Sasami and little Ryo-Ohki.
"Oh good!" Washu greeted, "You're just in time for the news."
Washu led them down to her research area which also houses the teams equipment. She
then turned on the news. The reporter was interviewing Noboyuki.
"Listen up, you meddling 'superheroes'," Noboyuki began, "I challenge you all to a
duel, your team versus' mine. If you guys win, we will turn ourselves in. If we win,
we get to do all sorts of fun things to you. And if that's not enough insentive to accept
this challenge the well-being of this news team, is also riding on this as well. Oh yeah, one
other thing: no cops, just you guys."
When the ultimatum was over, Tenchi and the girls all turned to Washu, awaiting her
instructions. After a couple minutes of silence Washu finally spoke.
"I want you go down there and take of things," Washu said, "Go get your gear on, and
head out immedietly."
They nodded and headed for the change rooms. They then came out all changed after
about five minutes.
"Hey!" Sasami exclaimed, "Ryo-Ohki has a mask too!"
"Yup, I made it after you guys left last night," Washu retuned smugly.
"Hmmm...not bad, squirt," Ryoko commented.
"Lets go, girls!" Tenchi blurted, "We must put Noboyuki away once and for all!"
The girls and even Ryo-Ohki nodded. They then all got their equipment and hopped
into their respective vehicles, except Tenchi who hopped onto his. They started up the
engines and rode off.
While driving, Tenchi realized that he didn't know where the duel was to take place.
"Hey, girls?" Tenchi began as spoke into the radio on his motorbike, "Do any of you know
where the duel is supposed to take place?"
The girls looked at each other and shook their heads.
"I'm afraid we don't, Pamplemousse," Ayeka returned over her end of the radio, "I'll
contact Miss Washu and find out."
"Sure thing," Tenchi returned, then put the receiver down and returned his hand to the
handlebar.
"Miss Washu? Where is the duel taking place?" Ayeka asked into the radio.
"I'll send the location to you now," Washu answered back over the radio.
"Alright thanks," Ayeka said to Washu she then turned her head and managed to catch
Tenchi's attention, and a gave a thumbs-up, and followed it up with a motion for him to
follow them, Tenchi nodded.
Over at the police headquaters, Lieutenant Kiyone, Sargent Mihoshi, and Commissioner
Katsuhito were discuss the broadcast made by Noboyuki.
"What're we going to do?" Kiyone asked.
"Hmmm...we can't send a full squad out there, for we may endanger the hostages'
lives." Katsuhito answered.
"You're not saying we should stand by and do nothing are you!?" Kiyone snapped back.
"Of course not!" Katsuhito retorted, "Only you two will go."
"Hast thou the knowledge of the precise location of the challenge?" Mihoshi asked.
Katushito nodded, and handed a small piece of paper with the address to Kiyone.
"Mihoshi, let's go!" Kiyone exclaimed.
"Ten Four, Good buddy!" Mihoshi returned.
Kiyone blinked. "Uh... yeah."
And then they were off.
"Drat! They left before I could ask them to pick up some more cocoa, we're almost
right out. Oh wait! I'll get Azaka and Kamidake to do it." Katsuhito muttered to himself.
Now over to the darker part of 'The Dark Side', Noboyuki and The Wonton Seven stand
ready, along with Poopsie, awaiting the arrival of Tenchi and the girls into his trap. To
their delight they didn't have to wait terribly long for Tenchi and crew to arrive.
"Ah! They're here!" Noboyuki blurted out, "Wait for them to come closer."
The Wonton Seven nodded.
"Alright Noboyuki, this time you're going down," Ryoko said approaching.
"That's right!" Sasami added following Ryoko.
"Oh good! The players are all here!" Noboyuki jeered.
"Shut your hole and lets get it on!" Tenchi snapped catching up with Ryoko and Sasami,
Ayeka was not too far behind.
"Tsk tsk tsk, such impatience," Noboyuki said with a nasty grin on his face, "Allow me
introduce my elite team that shall be your ultimate downfall, MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"
The Wonton Seven then stepped forward.
"I am Russian Wombat," he stated.
"I am Scandinavian Water Buffalo," he followed.
"I am German Platypus," he followed after.
"I am Zimbobwayian Ostrich," he too stated.
"Brazilian Ardvark," he said bluntly.
"East St Louis Titmouse!" he exclaimed.
"And I'm Mister Thou, leader of The Wonton Seven." she ended the introductions.
"Uh...you're a woman," Ayeka pointed out.
"It's a long story," Mister Thou replied.
"Now it's your turn," Noboyuki spoke as he extended his hand inviting them to do their
introductions.
Tenchi and the girls looked at each other, shrugged, took their positions and
prepared for their introductions.
"I am Pamplemousse!" Tenchi began.
"I am Wooden Maiden!" Ayeka added.
"I am Miss Mayhem!" Ryoko also added.
"I am Iron Chef!" Sasami added in as well.
"Together, we are....Three girls and a guy and a cabbit!" they said in unison, each of
them striking a pose.
"Miya miya miya!!" Ryo-Ohki finished hopping on to Sasami's shoulder.
"Good, now that's all taken care of, we can get on with the fight," Noboyuki commented
smugly, "Go get them!"
And the fight was on. Tenchi took on Noboyuki and Scandinavian Water Buffalo, Ayeka
accepted the challenge from Mister Thou and German Platypus, while Sasami was turning up the
heat on Brazilian Ardvark and East St Louis Titmouse, leaving Ryoko with Russian Wombat,
Zibobwayian Ostrich and Poopsie. Ryo-Ohki watched from a safe distance while doing her best
to cheer on her new comrades.
The battle seemed to go on forever. Tenchi and the girls were having trouble keeping
their foes down. To them it seemed when one when down they'd get swarmed by the others, and
instead of a fight they were fighting it turned into more of a brawl. Tenchi managed to
score some hits on Russian Wombat but in return got smoked by Mister Thou, who in return got
smacked up-side the head by Sasami, and so on. This went on for at least twenty minutes.
Now things started to look grim, for Tenchi and the girls. Noboyuki and his crew
had them pinned into a corner, when Kiyone and Mihoshi pulled up in their unmarked crusier.
"Don't give, you guys!" Kiyone hollered, "We're here to help! Mihoshi, let's go!"
"For sooth!" Mihoshi cried as she Kiyone charged the swarm that was Noboyuki and his
crew.
"What do we do now, boss?!" Poopsie blurted, in a panic.
"Get 'em all!" Noboyuki bellowed.
Tenchi and the girls felt refreshed upon seeing their reinforcments. So with renewed
spirit they fought back with more force than they thought they had. With the addition of
Kiyone and Mihoshi, the forces of Noboyuki were defeated and cuffed swiftly and with little
difficulty.
When the fight was over and the hostages freed, Kiyone turned to speak to Tenchi and
the girls.
"Well that wraps up...this mess...?" Kiyone trailed off while trying to find Tenchi,
"Uh... where'd they go?"
Mihoshi looked around as well, "They hath made like phantoms and vanished...again!"
"Indeed," Kiyone commented sagely.
"And I wanted to thank them for helping rescue us too," the female reporter said
disappointedly, "I was going to do big scoop on them, oh well, maybe next time."
"Lets take these ruffians downtown, and have them put away for awhile," Kiyone said
walking over to Noboyuki and his crew.
"These nefarious rapscallions indeed need to be betrothed to bars of steel, lest all
be for naught," Mihoshi agreed.
Back at Washu's lab, Tenchi and the girls had returned from their latest mission.
"My, don't you lot look worse-for-wear," Washu commented, looking them over.
"We were totally outnumbered, but if it weren't for those two cops showing up again
we would've been done for," Ayeka responded.
"I guess you guys need more training in fighting while outnumbered," Washu countered.
"Seems that way," Tenchi said rubbing some of his aching body.
"Well, we'll save that for another day," Washu said warmly, "Go get changed and hop
into the hottub, it'll do ya some good."
"Sounds good, 'cause I'm beat," Ryoko replied with the thought of being nearly
naked with Tenchi running throught her head.
"I agree," Ayeka added who also shared the same naughty thought as Ryoko.
They all went off to their changing rooms, got changed and went to the hottub for some
well deserved r and r.
(Ending Theme: "BUT BUT BUT", from 'Slayers')
Ending notes: As they say, 'that's all she wrote', but in my case it's 'that's all he wrote'.
I hope you enjoyed reading it. For those of you who are wondering what the foreign words I
used mean here's what they are: 'Pamplemousse' is French for, 'grapefruit', 'Der Weg
zur Falle' is German for, 'This way to trap', and 'Der Weg zu den Geiseln' is German for
'This way to hostages'. And be on the lookout for the next installment of 'Three girls and
a guy and cabbit' mini-series: When the cows come home.
Send all coments and stuff to: the_crusader45@hotmail.com
Thanks for reading!