If Not Wisely
Chapter 19: The Planning—part two
Spoilers: Begins immediately post-Wrecked, becomes AU after that.
Rating: R for swearing and some sexual situations.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Feedback: Would be highly appreciated. This is my first attempt at fanfic, and I would like to know how I am doing. Constructive criticism is welcome.
Distribution: So far, just here. If anyone wants it, just let me know.
Summary: Buffy continues to struggle with her feelings for Spike, and the whole gang tries to help Willow with her abuse of magic.
A/N: Here's part two! I'm really on a roll here! Thanks so much for all the great reviews. I'm really glad that more people seem to be finding this story. Let me know what you guys think!
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"You saw Buffy?"
Dawn's words hung in the air between them, and Spike wasn't sure what to say. He knew that Buffy didn't want Dawn to know what was going on between them, but Dawn wasn't stupid. She'd practically figured it out already. Plus, he really didn't have a good reason for going to see Buffy, and if he tried to lie his way out of it, Nibblet would be all over him in a second. He decided to go with the closest version of the truth that wouldn't get him in trouble with either Summers girl.
Spike cleared his throat, knowing that the break in the conversation had gone on much too long. "Yeah, well, I just stopped by to see how everything was going. I was kinda worried about Red, is all."
"Oh." Dawn looked a little disappointed. "So, you already knew about Willow moving out, then?"
"Yep, big sis told me all about it." He shifted on the couch and realized for the first time that Dawn was still sitting his lap. He recognized that this might not be the ideal seating arrangement for a fifteen year-old girl and a one hundred and twenty-two year old vampire. If anyone happened to walk in on them, Buffy for instance, they might get the wrong idea. "Off you go, Nibblet. You're getting heavy." He gently shifted her until she was sitting on the couch next to him.
Dawn was suddenly embarrassed. She had been sitting on Spike's lap. The lap of Spike. It had seemed perfectly normal when she'd been crying and he'd been trying to comfort her. Now, it was just embarrassing. Her face felt really hot, and she hoped that he couldn't tell how stupid she felt. "Whatever, Super-strength," she joked to cover her awkwardness.
Spike could tell how uncomfortable she was, he was feeling pretty much the same thing, so he decided to joke back with her. "Hey, I'm not getting any younger!"
"You're not getting any older, either," Dawn shot back. She reached down to retrieve her soda and took a big swig. "So, what did Buffy say about the whole thing? She wouldn't really talk about it with me."
"Eh, you know your sister. Thought it was all her fault, of course. She's pretty upset about the whole thing, and she's really worried about Willow."
"She didn't say anything." Dawn looked worried.
"She probably just didn't want to worry you. Don't worry, though, I got her all calmed down." He reached out and ruffled her hair. "Quite a job that was, too."
Dawn slapped his hand away in frustration. "You know what? I'm sick of being treated like a little kid! She didn't want to worry me? What the hell is that? Nobody ever tells me anything!"
Spike sighed. As much as he loved his Little Bit, he couldn't wait for her to grow out of this teenage-brat stage. "You don't want to be treated like a kid, Dawn? Then stop acting like one!"
"I'm not!" protested Dawn.
"Oh, really? 'Cause I seem to remember someone singing and dancing around here like a lunatic because one of her closest friends is in trouble. Remind you of anyone you know?"
"That's not fair!"
"Life's not fair, Nibblet. Get used to it!" snapped Spike.
Dawn crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. "I don't like you today! You're mean!"
"I'm not mean. I just tell it like it is." He ran his hands through his hair. "Look, Dawn, don't be in such a hurry to grow up. You should just enjoy being a kid, because being a grown-up is no fun at all. Just ask your sister."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Spike froze, he'd said too much. "Nothin', Nibblet. Forget I said anything."
"Spike, is there something you're not telling me?" Dawn's face was twisted with worry, and her eyes were pleading with Spike to tell her the truth.
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"Hey, Xander!" Buffy called cheerfully. "Guess what?"
"They're finally making the long-awaited sequel to Freddy Got Fingered?" He gave her a big grin. "Thank God! That Tom Green is a comic genius."
"No!" squealed Anya. "Buffy and I are going into business together!"
Buffy shot her a glare. She'd wanted to be the one to deliver the big news, and she didn't like Anya raining on her parade. "Thanks, Anya," she said sarcastically.
"Oh, no problem!" Anya was still beaming.
"What?" Xander looked shocked. "Does this mean no sequel, then?" He hung his head in mock-disappointment.
"Xander, you big dope!" Buffy had to smile at his antics.
He raised his head and grinned back at her. "This is great, Buff!" Xander wrapped her in a huge bear hug. "So, what's the plan? Slayer for hire? Or are you just going back to the wonderful world of retail?"
Buffy giggled. "Even better!"
Anya, who was feeling ignored, decided to reclaim the spotlight. "She's going to give self-defense classes in the training room! I'm going to get a cut of the profits!"
Xander heard Buffy's groan and released his hold on her to look at his fiancée. She looked so pretty, beaming with excitement and happiness, that he couldn't even bring himself to chastise her for being rude. "That's great, An! Come here and give me a kiss!"
In a flash, Anya was out from behind the counter and running straight for Xander. She flung her arms around his neck, and the two began kissing passionately. Buffy found herself resisting the urge to puke. She cleared her throat, hoping that they'd get the message, but neither party seemed to notice. Xander's hands were creeping increasingly closer to Anya's behind, and Buffy face was becoming increasingly red.
Suddenly, Anya broke off the kiss and glared up at Xander. "What are you doing here? It's much too early for you to be done working. Why are you out earning more money?"
Xander laughed and planted a kiss on her nose. "Relax, hon, I didn't get fired or anything. One of the idiots on my crew hit a water main with the backhoe, and the entire job site is flooded. We had to knock off early."
"Thank God!" She began to kiss him once again.
Buffy decided to put a stop to the mush-fest. "Xander, don't you want to hear about our plan?"
"Sorry, Buff." He disentangled himself from Anya. "So, ladies, what's the big plan?"
Immediately, both women started filling Xander in on their idea. They were talking over each other in their excitement. Each of them wanting to be the one to tell Xander the good news. When Anya got to the part about using Puffy-Xander for demonstrations, Regular-Xander balked noticeably. "Hey, I don't know about that one. Last time I suited up for duty, she almost killed me! I couldn't sit for a week!"
Buffy punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't be such a wimp! It's for the greater good."
"You know what the greater good means to me?" He rubbed his shoulder where she had punched him. Ow, Slayer strength. "Keeping all my Xander-bits intact."
Buffy noticed the shoulder rubbing. "Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to. I barely touched you!"
"Yeah, well, Exhibit A for no more Puffy-Xander." He grinned at her sheepishly. "Hey, why don't you ask Spike to help? You wouldn't be hurting him, and he can't even fight back."
Buffy swallowed hard. One of these days, she'd have to bring her friends up to speed on the fact that Spike could fight back, with her at least. "Um, I dunno."
"That's a great idea!" chirped Anya. "He wouldn't even have to be puffy at all, and you could really throw him around. Plus, once those women got a look at him, they'd sign up for class just to see him again. Can you imagine? Spike all sweaty…Hey, do vampires sweat? Maybe you could put him in a tank top or something. You know, show off those arms." Anya broke off as she caught Xander's glare. "Sorry."
Buffy was also caught up in the vision of a sweaty Spike. Did he sweat? She couldn't remember. No tank top for her, though. She'd make him shirtless. Oh, Xander was staring at her. "I could ask him. He might not mind helping out."
"Are you going to see him tonight?" asked Anya.
Buffy blinked. Did they know? "What? I don't know. I see him in the cemetery sometimes. He does live there. It's not like I'm planning on meeting him or anything!" Oh God, did she sound too defensive? What was this, the Spanish Inquisition?
Anya gave her a strange look. "Well, if you see him, then could you give him this for me?" She reached under the counter and came up with a large bag of Burba weed. "On the house. Not like he doesn't steal it anyway."
Buffy reached out to take the bag, a puzzled expression on her face. "Why are you giving Spike gifts?"
"It's just a thank you," said Anya. She reached out and put an arm around Xander. "For saving our relationship."
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Spike fidgeted nervously. He'd really done it this time. The Slayer would stake him for sure if she found out he'd been telling Dawn about her money problems. "It's nothing, really. Nothin' to worry your pretty little head about."
"Spike…" Dawn's voice held a warning note.
Spike sighed. She'd never let it drop. "It's just gotta be hard for her, is all. She's got a lot on her plate right now. You know, paying the bills, keeping the house running, taking care of you, and worrying about Red. Not to mention being the Slayer on top of it all. It's a lot for one person to handle."
"She's tired of taking care of me." Dawn's face was ashen, and her voice was trembling.
"Aw, Nibblet." Spike put his arm around her and hugged her close. "No, don't say that. Buffy loves you, and you know it. She sacrificed everything to keep you safe."
She looked up at him with teary eyes. "But, you said…"
"I said no such thing." He stroked her hair softly. "I just meant that she worries about you. It's a big job, being responsible for another human being. She just worries about being a good mum to you, or if you're doing okay in school, that's all." He smiled at her. "Or if you're off running around with creatures of the night."
Dawn elbowed him in the stomach, and the corners of her mouth turned up just a little bit. "God, it was one time! You'd think everyone would've forgotten about it by now."
"Well, I've got a long memory." Spike tickled her under her chin, causing her to smile for real. "All I'm saying is, it's no picnic being a grown- up, and Buffy has a lot to deal with. So, maybe you can help her out by acting like an adult, instead of just wishing you were one."
"Yeah," Dawn said softly, "I can do that."
"Good. You're going to try and be more understanding about Red, right?" Dawn nodded. "And maybe you could help your sister around the house?" Another nod. "And you're going to keep those grades up? No cutting school? No getting into trouble?" Three more nods. "Ah, you're a good one, Bit." He hugged her close again.
"I'm sorry that I was being a brat," she mumbled into his shoulder.
Spike chuckled. "It's okay, Bit. You're a teenager—it's expected." She elbowed him again. "Just promise me one thing, okay? Be kind to your big sis. She's got it rough, and so do you. You need each other."
"I promise," whispered Dawn.
"Good." He let go of her and looked at her seriously. "One more thing. Buffy's probably going to have to get a job, in order to keep food on the table. It's not like being the Chosen One pays all that well. So, she might not be around as much, but I promise you that I will always be here for you. You can come over after school whenever you want, or, if it's okay with Buffy, I can go and hang out at your place."
Dawn looked scared again. "How bad is it?"
"Oh, it's not that bad. It's not like you're in danger of becoming homeless, but Giles' money won't last forever." He tried to keep his tone as light as possible. Spike knew that the money situation at the Summers house was much worse than he was making it seem, but he didn't want to worry Dawn. "I offered to help out, but, typical Buffy, she wants to do it all on her own."
Dawn laughed. "Yeah, like you have any money!"
"Hey!" He tried to act offended. "For all you know, I've got a Swiss bank account worth millions!"
"Do you?" Dawn's eyes were wide.
"Ah, no. But I could have!"
She laughed again. "Uh huh."
"Really, it's kinda rare to live for over a century and not amass some sort of fortune."
"And, yet, you still managed to do it," Dawn said dryly.
"Okay, that's enough." Spike was tired of looking like a useless idiot. "The point here is that Buffy's going to need your help. So, just be a good little girl and try to be understanding if she's not around as much. Okay?"
"So, you're sure that I'm not going to be moving into a cardboard box any time soon?" Spike just scowled at her. "Okay, fine. I'll be good, I promise."
"Thanks, Nibblet." He was somewhat relieve to have the conversation end. "Now, let's get you started on that homework. Shakespeare's not going to read itself!"
"Oh!" Dawn jumped up to grab her backpack. "I'm almost finished. I read ahead last night and today during study hall. I only have about half of Act IV and all of Act V left."
"Good for you, Bit!" Spike gave her a proud smile. "Maybe if you finish it today, we can rent the movie this weekend as a reward."
"Really?" squealed Dawn. "The one with Leo?"
Spike clutched his head and groaned.
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Buffy's mouth gaped open, and she stared at her friends in disbelief. What was going on here? Had she fallen into some sort of Bizzaro World? "What? Spike saved your relationship?"
Xander patted Anya on the shoulder and gave her a rather condescending smile. "Anya, don't you think you're overstating it a bit?"
"Not at all," said Anya. "If not for Spike, I would've dumped your sorry ass."
"What?" chorused Xander and Buffy together. Xander looked even more shocked than Buffy did.
"Well, I would have," said Anya stubbornly. "I won't stand for Anti- Demonism. Some of my best friends are demons, and I was one myself."
Xander continued to stand there with a shocked expression on his face, and Buffy was growing more confused by the second. "Wait a minute! Why don't you start at the beginning? I have no idea what you guys are talking about."
"It all started when Xander told me what you said to him in the training room the other day."
Buffy gasped. "Anya, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for you to know that. I just…I had some questions, is all."
"No, it's okay, Buffy. Everything you said was right on, and I'm not offended in the least. Spike and I really are very much alike. "In fact," she shot a quick glance at Xander and leaned over to whisper conspiratorially, "I'm pretty sure that I don't have a soul either."
"But, you're human!" protested Buffy.
Anya looked over at Xander again. She hadn't told him this yet, and she didn't think he was quite ready to hear it. Luckily for her, he was still standing stock-still, frozen in his shock over the news that she would have actually left him. She continued whispering to Buffy. "Yes, but when I originally became a demon, my human soul was banished to the ether. When D'Hoffryn took away my powers and left me in my human guise, I highly doubt that he took the time to call my original soul back. Most likely, I'm every bit as soulless as Spike."
"Wow," said Buffy. "I didn't know."
"What do you mean you would have dumped me?" Xander had finally found his voice.
"Just what I said. If you hadn't been able to get over this whole soulless demon thing, then I would've dropped you like ton of books."
"Bricks," said Xander absentmindedly.
"What?" asked Anya.
"It's a ton of bricks, not a ton of books."
"Are you sure? Why can't it just be a ton of anything?"
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Never mind, you guys. Get to the part about Spike saving your relationship."
"Oh, right." Xander still looked slightly dazed. "An and I had a big fight about it, what you'd said, and she screamed at me to get my demon- hating ass out of her sight. So, I went to the Bronze to blow off steam."
"And drink yourself silly," chimed in Anya.
"Right. Anyway, Spike was there, and we got to talking."
"Why was Spike there?" asked Buffy.
"Same reason I was," replied Xander. "He was chasing down a drunken stupor at top speed. Said that he had woman troubles. Though, what kind of a crazy psycho would date him in the first place, I have no idea."
Buffy could feel herself blush furiously, and she caught Anya looking at her suspiciously. This was no time to blow her cover. "Yeah, she must be a real nut-job." She gave what she thought was an unconvincing little laugh. "So, what did you guys talk about?"
"Well, we traded insults for a while, as would be expected."
"And," prompted Buffy.
Xander sighed and glanced over at Anya before replying. "Okay, I'm not exactly proud of this, but it was really bugging me, and I had to ask someone. So, I just figured that Spike would be the best person to ask."
"Ask what?" Buffy was quickly becoming impatient with the snail's pace that Xander was setting.
Xander sighed again, and Anya spoke up to reassure him. "It's okay, honey."
"I asked Spike if he thought that Anya was evil," he said quietly.
Buffy's mouth felt very dry, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear Spike's answer to that question. "What did he say?"
"Well, first he called me a rude name, but I didn't really know what it meant. Who the hell can understand what ever whacked-out language that guy speaks, anyway?"
"That would be English, honey," Anya offered helpfully.
Buffy ground her teeth together in frustration. "Okay, he called you a name. Then what?"
"Basically, he just said that Anya wasn't evil."
"That's it?" shrieked Buffy. "That's all he said?"
"Well that's not all he said. It was a lot more complicated than that. He actually had this big, long argument for all the reasons why she's not evil. You know, if he weren't undead, he'd make a hell of a lawyer."
Buffy honestly felt like she wasn't getting what she needed out of this conversation. "Xander, would you mind possibly expanding on some of those reasons? I'd really like to know exactly what he said." She looked over at Anya. "Not that I need convincing, or anything. I know you're not evil."
"Good to know," said Anya.
If Xander had known there'd be a pop quiz on his conversation with Spike, he would've taken notes. "Basically, it boiled down to a few key points. The first of which being that it doesn't matter what Anya used to be like in her demon days. All that matters is the way she is now, and Anya hasn't done a single evil thing in all the time I've known her. Well, not after she got her powers taken away, at least. Except for that time she was going to let the vamps eat Willow." He suddenly looked uncertain.
"Hey!" protested Anya. "I was upset at the time! Besides, she totally lied to me. Like I'd really fall for her phony vampire routine!"
"Not actually helping, Anya." Xander took a deep breath and continued. "Okay, the second big point was that you don't need super powers to be evil. He pointed out that there are a lot of regular people who are evil and don't have any powers at all. If Anya really wanted to be evil, she wouldn't need to be a vengeance demon to do it."
"Spike said that?" asked Buffy. "Wow, that actually makes sense."
"I know," agreed Xander. "Shocked the shit out of me, too!"
"What else did he say?"
Xander thought for a moment. "Oh, he said that I had a good woman at home," he smiled at Anya, "who loved me, and that I shouldn't look for reasons to screw it up. I believe his exact words were, 'Life's too bloody short.' That's about all I got."
Anya spoke up. "That's not all, Xander. You forgot the part where you said that he's not evil, either."
"You said that?" Buffy was a little stunned. Out of all her friends, Xander was the one who hated Spike the most. He was the one that always insisted that Spike was evil.
Xander looked embarrassed. "Well, yeah. I mean, he was making this big deal out of how you don't need super powers to be evil, so I just kinda pointed out that he wasn't exactly doing much evil himself these days. According to his logic, the fact that he can't bite people anymore shouldn't stop him from being all Evil Overlord and stuff. So, by his own definition, he's really not all that evil anymore."
"Xander…wow…that's…" Buffy couldn't find the words she was looking for. It seemed like Xander had single-handedly answered all of the questions she'd been having lately.
"Deep, I know." Xander laughed. "He even said that I should tell you that, then maybe you'd quit decking him so much. But I told him that you probably already knew that."
"You what?"
"Well, you were the one that put all those ideas in my head in the first place. You know, about Anya and Spike being alike. I can't really decide that Anya's not evil and keep insisting that Spike is."
Anya decided to speak up again. "Xander, tell her about the…" She made a staking motion with her hand.
"Oh, right. This is the weirdest part. You've never going to believe this!"
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"Spike, I don't understand this line!"
Spike looked up from pouring a cup of blood. "Read it out loud, Nibblet." He reached into his bag of Burba weed and crumbled some on top of his lunch.
Dawn read the line out loud, stumbling badly over the unfamiliar words. "I can't do this!"
"Remember what I told you?" He tied the bag of Burba weed shut and noticed with dismay that he was running pretty low. Time to nick another bag from Anya.
"What? That it's much easier, not to mention faster, to watch the movie?"
"Ha, ha, smartass," Spike retorted dryly. "No, find the rhythm."
Dawn wrinkled up her nose. "But I feel stupid doing it that way!"
Spike took a sip of his spicy blood. "Hey, you may feel stupid, but at least you'll understand the line."
"Why don't you just tell me what it means?" pleaded Dawn. "I know you know. You know the whole stupid play!"
"Find the rhythm!" commanded Spike.
"Show me how it goes, again."
Spike sighed and began to pound out the rhythm on the table in front of him, calling out as he did. "Ba bump, badda bump, badda bump bump bump."
After he'd repeated it twice, Dawn joined in, tapping the same rhythm out on her leg. She recited the line again, this time to the beat that they were pounding out. "I've got it! Now, it makes sense. Thanks, Spike!"
"My pleasure, Bit." He took another sip of his drink. "Just try to remember it next time. It really does help. If my memory serves, you must be in Act V, scene ii. Looks like we're going to be renting that video, after all."
"Yep, I'm almost done!" Dawn smiled proudly. "Do you wanna watch it tomorrow night?"
"Sounds good. Not like my date book is all filled up, or anything."
"We can make popcorn and have hot chocolate. I think we've got some marshmallows for you." She thought for a moment. "Hey, maybe we can get Buffy to watch it with us! You are gonna get the one with Leo, right?"
Spike winced. "Bit, we've been over this. I absolutely refuse to sit back and watch that prancing poof butcher Shakespeare's poetry! That bird who plays Juliet's not much better either, with her sodding valley girl accent."
Dawn rolled her eyes. She'd heard this exact same tirade once already. "So, what are we going to get then?"
"We, my Sweet Bit, are going to watch a real work of art, directed by a true Italian auteur! I know where I can get my hands on a copy of Franco Zeffirelli's 1968 classic, Romeo and Juliet!" He was grinning from ear to ear. "Wait 'till you sit it, Bit! It's the best filmed version ever done! You'll love it!"
She rolled her eyes at him again. It was almost funny to see Spike, former scary villain, going on and on about some stupid old movie. "It's not in black and white, is it?"
Spike clutched his head and groaned. "Bloody teenagers!"
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"Okay," continued Xander, "you might want to be sitting down for this. This is big news! Shocking, really."
"Xander!" Buffy was really getting tired of the way Xander had to drag everything out.
"Okay, okay, hold your horses. So, I thanked Spike for his help and got up to leave. At the last second, I decided to stop off in the bathroom. Well, I'm leaving the bathroom, and what do I see? Spike, staking a vamp. Right there in the Bronze! Can you believe it? He didn't even know I was there, but he did it anyway."
"Wait, he just walked up to a vamp, in the middle of the Bronze, and staked him for no reason?" Buffy found it unlikely that Spike would be so blatant.
"No, the vamp had some girl cornered and was about to take a big bite."
"So, Spike saved the girl's life?" Buffy didn't know what to make of that. "You saw the whole thing?"
"Yep," said Xander, "but like I said, he didn't even know I was there. He just walked up to the guy, staked him and walked out. The whole thing was surreal. What do you think it means?"
"I can tell you what it means," said Anya. "It means that Spike is a hero. He's one of us."
Xander looked skeptical. "I don't know if I'd go that far, An. I mean, Spike still an ev—a vampire."
"Yes, but he's a good vampire, like Angel," reasoned Anya.
"Angel has a soul. It's totally different," argued Xander.
Anya shot him a glare of death. "A soul doesn't make that much of a difference! It's time you realized that!"
"Anya!" Buffy shook her head and mouthed the words, "Not now."
Thankfully, Anya got the point. She decided to switch subjects. "You know what this means, Buffy? You can date him if you want to! Xander's officially certified Spike as 'not evil.' You should just go jump his bones right now! It's not like he can lose his soul or anything."
Xander looked like he was choking. "Great Caesar's Ghost! Anya, just because the guy's not entirely evil, doesn't mean it's okay for him to start dating our friends! Are you nuts! No, no way! Buffy is not dating Spike!"
Anya rolled her eyes. "Here we go again! I should've known that you'll never change! You are prejudiced against demons!"
"Not all demons! Just Spike!"
"Buffy, tell him—"
"Uh, you know what, guys?" Buffy really didn't want to be around to witness a fight. She had a lot to think about. "I, ah, really need to get going now. Dawn's gonna be home soon." Anya and Xander were shouting at each other, and didn't appear to hear her. "Um, Anya, I'll get to work on the whole self-defense thing. Xander, I'll call you tomorrow." Slowly, she began backing out of the store. "'Night, guys! See ya later!" Buffy turned tail and bolted out of the shop.
Chapter 19: The Planning—part two
Spoilers: Begins immediately post-Wrecked, becomes AU after that.
Rating: R for swearing and some sexual situations.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Feedback: Would be highly appreciated. This is my first attempt at fanfic, and I would like to know how I am doing. Constructive criticism is welcome.
Distribution: So far, just here. If anyone wants it, just let me know.
Summary: Buffy continues to struggle with her feelings for Spike, and the whole gang tries to help Willow with her abuse of magic.
A/N: Here's part two! I'm really on a roll here! Thanks so much for all the great reviews. I'm really glad that more people seem to be finding this story. Let me know what you guys think!
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"You saw Buffy?"
Dawn's words hung in the air between them, and Spike wasn't sure what to say. He knew that Buffy didn't want Dawn to know what was going on between them, but Dawn wasn't stupid. She'd practically figured it out already. Plus, he really didn't have a good reason for going to see Buffy, and if he tried to lie his way out of it, Nibblet would be all over him in a second. He decided to go with the closest version of the truth that wouldn't get him in trouble with either Summers girl.
Spike cleared his throat, knowing that the break in the conversation had gone on much too long. "Yeah, well, I just stopped by to see how everything was going. I was kinda worried about Red, is all."
"Oh." Dawn looked a little disappointed. "So, you already knew about Willow moving out, then?"
"Yep, big sis told me all about it." He shifted on the couch and realized for the first time that Dawn was still sitting his lap. He recognized that this might not be the ideal seating arrangement for a fifteen year-old girl and a one hundred and twenty-two year old vampire. If anyone happened to walk in on them, Buffy for instance, they might get the wrong idea. "Off you go, Nibblet. You're getting heavy." He gently shifted her until she was sitting on the couch next to him.
Dawn was suddenly embarrassed. She had been sitting on Spike's lap. The lap of Spike. It had seemed perfectly normal when she'd been crying and he'd been trying to comfort her. Now, it was just embarrassing. Her face felt really hot, and she hoped that he couldn't tell how stupid she felt. "Whatever, Super-strength," she joked to cover her awkwardness.
Spike could tell how uncomfortable she was, he was feeling pretty much the same thing, so he decided to joke back with her. "Hey, I'm not getting any younger!"
"You're not getting any older, either," Dawn shot back. She reached down to retrieve her soda and took a big swig. "So, what did Buffy say about the whole thing? She wouldn't really talk about it with me."
"Eh, you know your sister. Thought it was all her fault, of course. She's pretty upset about the whole thing, and she's really worried about Willow."
"She didn't say anything." Dawn looked worried.
"She probably just didn't want to worry you. Don't worry, though, I got her all calmed down." He reached out and ruffled her hair. "Quite a job that was, too."
Dawn slapped his hand away in frustration. "You know what? I'm sick of being treated like a little kid! She didn't want to worry me? What the hell is that? Nobody ever tells me anything!"
Spike sighed. As much as he loved his Little Bit, he couldn't wait for her to grow out of this teenage-brat stage. "You don't want to be treated like a kid, Dawn? Then stop acting like one!"
"I'm not!" protested Dawn.
"Oh, really? 'Cause I seem to remember someone singing and dancing around here like a lunatic because one of her closest friends is in trouble. Remind you of anyone you know?"
"That's not fair!"
"Life's not fair, Nibblet. Get used to it!" snapped Spike.
Dawn crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. "I don't like you today! You're mean!"
"I'm not mean. I just tell it like it is." He ran his hands through his hair. "Look, Dawn, don't be in such a hurry to grow up. You should just enjoy being a kid, because being a grown-up is no fun at all. Just ask your sister."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Spike froze, he'd said too much. "Nothin', Nibblet. Forget I said anything."
"Spike, is there something you're not telling me?" Dawn's face was twisted with worry, and her eyes were pleading with Spike to tell her the truth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey, Xander!" Buffy called cheerfully. "Guess what?"
"They're finally making the long-awaited sequel to Freddy Got Fingered?" He gave her a big grin. "Thank God! That Tom Green is a comic genius."
"No!" squealed Anya. "Buffy and I are going into business together!"
Buffy shot her a glare. She'd wanted to be the one to deliver the big news, and she didn't like Anya raining on her parade. "Thanks, Anya," she said sarcastically.
"Oh, no problem!" Anya was still beaming.
"What?" Xander looked shocked. "Does this mean no sequel, then?" He hung his head in mock-disappointment.
"Xander, you big dope!" Buffy had to smile at his antics.
He raised his head and grinned back at her. "This is great, Buff!" Xander wrapped her in a huge bear hug. "So, what's the plan? Slayer for hire? Or are you just going back to the wonderful world of retail?"
Buffy giggled. "Even better!"
Anya, who was feeling ignored, decided to reclaim the spotlight. "She's going to give self-defense classes in the training room! I'm going to get a cut of the profits!"
Xander heard Buffy's groan and released his hold on her to look at his fiancée. She looked so pretty, beaming with excitement and happiness, that he couldn't even bring himself to chastise her for being rude. "That's great, An! Come here and give me a kiss!"
In a flash, Anya was out from behind the counter and running straight for Xander. She flung her arms around his neck, and the two began kissing passionately. Buffy found herself resisting the urge to puke. She cleared her throat, hoping that they'd get the message, but neither party seemed to notice. Xander's hands were creeping increasingly closer to Anya's behind, and Buffy face was becoming increasingly red.
Suddenly, Anya broke off the kiss and glared up at Xander. "What are you doing here? It's much too early for you to be done working. Why are you out earning more money?"
Xander laughed and planted a kiss on her nose. "Relax, hon, I didn't get fired or anything. One of the idiots on my crew hit a water main with the backhoe, and the entire job site is flooded. We had to knock off early."
"Thank God!" She began to kiss him once again.
Buffy decided to put a stop to the mush-fest. "Xander, don't you want to hear about our plan?"
"Sorry, Buff." He disentangled himself from Anya. "So, ladies, what's the big plan?"
Immediately, both women started filling Xander in on their idea. They were talking over each other in their excitement. Each of them wanting to be the one to tell Xander the good news. When Anya got to the part about using Puffy-Xander for demonstrations, Regular-Xander balked noticeably. "Hey, I don't know about that one. Last time I suited up for duty, she almost killed me! I couldn't sit for a week!"
Buffy punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't be such a wimp! It's for the greater good."
"You know what the greater good means to me?" He rubbed his shoulder where she had punched him. Ow, Slayer strength. "Keeping all my Xander-bits intact."
Buffy noticed the shoulder rubbing. "Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to. I barely touched you!"
"Yeah, well, Exhibit A for no more Puffy-Xander." He grinned at her sheepishly. "Hey, why don't you ask Spike to help? You wouldn't be hurting him, and he can't even fight back."
Buffy swallowed hard. One of these days, she'd have to bring her friends up to speed on the fact that Spike could fight back, with her at least. "Um, I dunno."
"That's a great idea!" chirped Anya. "He wouldn't even have to be puffy at all, and you could really throw him around. Plus, once those women got a look at him, they'd sign up for class just to see him again. Can you imagine? Spike all sweaty…Hey, do vampires sweat? Maybe you could put him in a tank top or something. You know, show off those arms." Anya broke off as she caught Xander's glare. "Sorry."
Buffy was also caught up in the vision of a sweaty Spike. Did he sweat? She couldn't remember. No tank top for her, though. She'd make him shirtless. Oh, Xander was staring at her. "I could ask him. He might not mind helping out."
"Are you going to see him tonight?" asked Anya.
Buffy blinked. Did they know? "What? I don't know. I see him in the cemetery sometimes. He does live there. It's not like I'm planning on meeting him or anything!" Oh God, did she sound too defensive? What was this, the Spanish Inquisition?
Anya gave her a strange look. "Well, if you see him, then could you give him this for me?" She reached under the counter and came up with a large bag of Burba weed. "On the house. Not like he doesn't steal it anyway."
Buffy reached out to take the bag, a puzzled expression on her face. "Why are you giving Spike gifts?"
"It's just a thank you," said Anya. She reached out and put an arm around Xander. "For saving our relationship."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike fidgeted nervously. He'd really done it this time. The Slayer would stake him for sure if she found out he'd been telling Dawn about her money problems. "It's nothing, really. Nothin' to worry your pretty little head about."
"Spike…" Dawn's voice held a warning note.
Spike sighed. She'd never let it drop. "It's just gotta be hard for her, is all. She's got a lot on her plate right now. You know, paying the bills, keeping the house running, taking care of you, and worrying about Red. Not to mention being the Slayer on top of it all. It's a lot for one person to handle."
"She's tired of taking care of me." Dawn's face was ashen, and her voice was trembling.
"Aw, Nibblet." Spike put his arm around her and hugged her close. "No, don't say that. Buffy loves you, and you know it. She sacrificed everything to keep you safe."
She looked up at him with teary eyes. "But, you said…"
"I said no such thing." He stroked her hair softly. "I just meant that she worries about you. It's a big job, being responsible for another human being. She just worries about being a good mum to you, or if you're doing okay in school, that's all." He smiled at her. "Or if you're off running around with creatures of the night."
Dawn elbowed him in the stomach, and the corners of her mouth turned up just a little bit. "God, it was one time! You'd think everyone would've forgotten about it by now."
"Well, I've got a long memory." Spike tickled her under her chin, causing her to smile for real. "All I'm saying is, it's no picnic being a grown- up, and Buffy has a lot to deal with. So, maybe you can help her out by acting like an adult, instead of just wishing you were one."
"Yeah," Dawn said softly, "I can do that."
"Good. You're going to try and be more understanding about Red, right?" Dawn nodded. "And maybe you could help your sister around the house?" Another nod. "And you're going to keep those grades up? No cutting school? No getting into trouble?" Three more nods. "Ah, you're a good one, Bit." He hugged her close again.
"I'm sorry that I was being a brat," she mumbled into his shoulder.
Spike chuckled. "It's okay, Bit. You're a teenager—it's expected." She elbowed him again. "Just promise me one thing, okay? Be kind to your big sis. She's got it rough, and so do you. You need each other."
"I promise," whispered Dawn.
"Good." He let go of her and looked at her seriously. "One more thing. Buffy's probably going to have to get a job, in order to keep food on the table. It's not like being the Chosen One pays all that well. So, she might not be around as much, but I promise you that I will always be here for you. You can come over after school whenever you want, or, if it's okay with Buffy, I can go and hang out at your place."
Dawn looked scared again. "How bad is it?"
"Oh, it's not that bad. It's not like you're in danger of becoming homeless, but Giles' money won't last forever." He tried to keep his tone as light as possible. Spike knew that the money situation at the Summers house was much worse than he was making it seem, but he didn't want to worry Dawn. "I offered to help out, but, typical Buffy, she wants to do it all on her own."
Dawn laughed. "Yeah, like you have any money!"
"Hey!" He tried to act offended. "For all you know, I've got a Swiss bank account worth millions!"
"Do you?" Dawn's eyes were wide.
"Ah, no. But I could have!"
She laughed again. "Uh huh."
"Really, it's kinda rare to live for over a century and not amass some sort of fortune."
"And, yet, you still managed to do it," Dawn said dryly.
"Okay, that's enough." Spike was tired of looking like a useless idiot. "The point here is that Buffy's going to need your help. So, just be a good little girl and try to be understanding if she's not around as much. Okay?"
"So, you're sure that I'm not going to be moving into a cardboard box any time soon?" Spike just scowled at her. "Okay, fine. I'll be good, I promise."
"Thanks, Nibblet." He was somewhat relieve to have the conversation end. "Now, let's get you started on that homework. Shakespeare's not going to read itself!"
"Oh!" Dawn jumped up to grab her backpack. "I'm almost finished. I read ahead last night and today during study hall. I only have about half of Act IV and all of Act V left."
"Good for you, Bit!" Spike gave her a proud smile. "Maybe if you finish it today, we can rent the movie this weekend as a reward."
"Really?" squealed Dawn. "The one with Leo?"
Spike clutched his head and groaned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy's mouth gaped open, and she stared at her friends in disbelief. What was going on here? Had she fallen into some sort of Bizzaro World? "What? Spike saved your relationship?"
Xander patted Anya on the shoulder and gave her a rather condescending smile. "Anya, don't you think you're overstating it a bit?"
"Not at all," said Anya. "If not for Spike, I would've dumped your sorry ass."
"What?" chorused Xander and Buffy together. Xander looked even more shocked than Buffy did.
"Well, I would have," said Anya stubbornly. "I won't stand for Anti- Demonism. Some of my best friends are demons, and I was one myself."
Xander continued to stand there with a shocked expression on his face, and Buffy was growing more confused by the second. "Wait a minute! Why don't you start at the beginning? I have no idea what you guys are talking about."
"It all started when Xander told me what you said to him in the training room the other day."
Buffy gasped. "Anya, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for you to know that. I just…I had some questions, is all."
"No, it's okay, Buffy. Everything you said was right on, and I'm not offended in the least. Spike and I really are very much alike. "In fact," she shot a quick glance at Xander and leaned over to whisper conspiratorially, "I'm pretty sure that I don't have a soul either."
"But, you're human!" protested Buffy.
Anya looked over at Xander again. She hadn't told him this yet, and she didn't think he was quite ready to hear it. Luckily for her, he was still standing stock-still, frozen in his shock over the news that she would have actually left him. She continued whispering to Buffy. "Yes, but when I originally became a demon, my human soul was banished to the ether. When D'Hoffryn took away my powers and left me in my human guise, I highly doubt that he took the time to call my original soul back. Most likely, I'm every bit as soulless as Spike."
"Wow," said Buffy. "I didn't know."
"What do you mean you would have dumped me?" Xander had finally found his voice.
"Just what I said. If you hadn't been able to get over this whole soulless demon thing, then I would've dropped you like ton of books."
"Bricks," said Xander absentmindedly.
"What?" asked Anya.
"It's a ton of bricks, not a ton of books."
"Are you sure? Why can't it just be a ton of anything?"
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Never mind, you guys. Get to the part about Spike saving your relationship."
"Oh, right." Xander still looked slightly dazed. "An and I had a big fight about it, what you'd said, and she screamed at me to get my demon- hating ass out of her sight. So, I went to the Bronze to blow off steam."
"And drink yourself silly," chimed in Anya.
"Right. Anyway, Spike was there, and we got to talking."
"Why was Spike there?" asked Buffy.
"Same reason I was," replied Xander. "He was chasing down a drunken stupor at top speed. Said that he had woman troubles. Though, what kind of a crazy psycho would date him in the first place, I have no idea."
Buffy could feel herself blush furiously, and she caught Anya looking at her suspiciously. This was no time to blow her cover. "Yeah, she must be a real nut-job." She gave what she thought was an unconvincing little laugh. "So, what did you guys talk about?"
"Well, we traded insults for a while, as would be expected."
"And," prompted Buffy.
Xander sighed and glanced over at Anya before replying. "Okay, I'm not exactly proud of this, but it was really bugging me, and I had to ask someone. So, I just figured that Spike would be the best person to ask."
"Ask what?" Buffy was quickly becoming impatient with the snail's pace that Xander was setting.
Xander sighed again, and Anya spoke up to reassure him. "It's okay, honey."
"I asked Spike if he thought that Anya was evil," he said quietly.
Buffy's mouth felt very dry, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear Spike's answer to that question. "What did he say?"
"Well, first he called me a rude name, but I didn't really know what it meant. Who the hell can understand what ever whacked-out language that guy speaks, anyway?"
"That would be English, honey," Anya offered helpfully.
Buffy ground her teeth together in frustration. "Okay, he called you a name. Then what?"
"Basically, he just said that Anya wasn't evil."
"That's it?" shrieked Buffy. "That's all he said?"
"Well that's not all he said. It was a lot more complicated than that. He actually had this big, long argument for all the reasons why she's not evil. You know, if he weren't undead, he'd make a hell of a lawyer."
Buffy honestly felt like she wasn't getting what she needed out of this conversation. "Xander, would you mind possibly expanding on some of those reasons? I'd really like to know exactly what he said." She looked over at Anya. "Not that I need convincing, or anything. I know you're not evil."
"Good to know," said Anya.
If Xander had known there'd be a pop quiz on his conversation with Spike, he would've taken notes. "Basically, it boiled down to a few key points. The first of which being that it doesn't matter what Anya used to be like in her demon days. All that matters is the way she is now, and Anya hasn't done a single evil thing in all the time I've known her. Well, not after she got her powers taken away, at least. Except for that time she was going to let the vamps eat Willow." He suddenly looked uncertain.
"Hey!" protested Anya. "I was upset at the time! Besides, she totally lied to me. Like I'd really fall for her phony vampire routine!"
"Not actually helping, Anya." Xander took a deep breath and continued. "Okay, the second big point was that you don't need super powers to be evil. He pointed out that there are a lot of regular people who are evil and don't have any powers at all. If Anya really wanted to be evil, she wouldn't need to be a vengeance demon to do it."
"Spike said that?" asked Buffy. "Wow, that actually makes sense."
"I know," agreed Xander. "Shocked the shit out of me, too!"
"What else did he say?"
Xander thought for a moment. "Oh, he said that I had a good woman at home," he smiled at Anya, "who loved me, and that I shouldn't look for reasons to screw it up. I believe his exact words were, 'Life's too bloody short.' That's about all I got."
Anya spoke up. "That's not all, Xander. You forgot the part where you said that he's not evil, either."
"You said that?" Buffy was a little stunned. Out of all her friends, Xander was the one who hated Spike the most. He was the one that always insisted that Spike was evil.
Xander looked embarrassed. "Well, yeah. I mean, he was making this big deal out of how you don't need super powers to be evil, so I just kinda pointed out that he wasn't exactly doing much evil himself these days. According to his logic, the fact that he can't bite people anymore shouldn't stop him from being all Evil Overlord and stuff. So, by his own definition, he's really not all that evil anymore."
"Xander…wow…that's…" Buffy couldn't find the words she was looking for. It seemed like Xander had single-handedly answered all of the questions she'd been having lately.
"Deep, I know." Xander laughed. "He even said that I should tell you that, then maybe you'd quit decking him so much. But I told him that you probably already knew that."
"You what?"
"Well, you were the one that put all those ideas in my head in the first place. You know, about Anya and Spike being alike. I can't really decide that Anya's not evil and keep insisting that Spike is."
Anya decided to speak up again. "Xander, tell her about the…" She made a staking motion with her hand.
"Oh, right. This is the weirdest part. You've never going to believe this!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Spike, I don't understand this line!"
Spike looked up from pouring a cup of blood. "Read it out loud, Nibblet." He reached into his bag of Burba weed and crumbled some on top of his lunch.
Dawn read the line out loud, stumbling badly over the unfamiliar words. "I can't do this!"
"Remember what I told you?" He tied the bag of Burba weed shut and noticed with dismay that he was running pretty low. Time to nick another bag from Anya.
"What? That it's much easier, not to mention faster, to watch the movie?"
"Ha, ha, smartass," Spike retorted dryly. "No, find the rhythm."
Dawn wrinkled up her nose. "But I feel stupid doing it that way!"
Spike took a sip of his spicy blood. "Hey, you may feel stupid, but at least you'll understand the line."
"Why don't you just tell me what it means?" pleaded Dawn. "I know you know. You know the whole stupid play!"
"Find the rhythm!" commanded Spike.
"Show me how it goes, again."
Spike sighed and began to pound out the rhythm on the table in front of him, calling out as he did. "Ba bump, badda bump, badda bump bump bump."
After he'd repeated it twice, Dawn joined in, tapping the same rhythm out on her leg. She recited the line again, this time to the beat that they were pounding out. "I've got it! Now, it makes sense. Thanks, Spike!"
"My pleasure, Bit." He took another sip of his drink. "Just try to remember it next time. It really does help. If my memory serves, you must be in Act V, scene ii. Looks like we're going to be renting that video, after all."
"Yep, I'm almost done!" Dawn smiled proudly. "Do you wanna watch it tomorrow night?"
"Sounds good. Not like my date book is all filled up, or anything."
"We can make popcorn and have hot chocolate. I think we've got some marshmallows for you." She thought for a moment. "Hey, maybe we can get Buffy to watch it with us! You are gonna get the one with Leo, right?"
Spike winced. "Bit, we've been over this. I absolutely refuse to sit back and watch that prancing poof butcher Shakespeare's poetry! That bird who plays Juliet's not much better either, with her sodding valley girl accent."
Dawn rolled her eyes. She'd heard this exact same tirade once already. "So, what are we going to get then?"
"We, my Sweet Bit, are going to watch a real work of art, directed by a true Italian auteur! I know where I can get my hands on a copy of Franco Zeffirelli's 1968 classic, Romeo and Juliet!" He was grinning from ear to ear. "Wait 'till you sit it, Bit! It's the best filmed version ever done! You'll love it!"
She rolled her eyes at him again. It was almost funny to see Spike, former scary villain, going on and on about some stupid old movie. "It's not in black and white, is it?"
Spike clutched his head and groaned. "Bloody teenagers!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Okay," continued Xander, "you might want to be sitting down for this. This is big news! Shocking, really."
"Xander!" Buffy was really getting tired of the way Xander had to drag everything out.
"Okay, okay, hold your horses. So, I thanked Spike for his help and got up to leave. At the last second, I decided to stop off in the bathroom. Well, I'm leaving the bathroom, and what do I see? Spike, staking a vamp. Right there in the Bronze! Can you believe it? He didn't even know I was there, but he did it anyway."
"Wait, he just walked up to a vamp, in the middle of the Bronze, and staked him for no reason?" Buffy found it unlikely that Spike would be so blatant.
"No, the vamp had some girl cornered and was about to take a big bite."
"So, Spike saved the girl's life?" Buffy didn't know what to make of that. "You saw the whole thing?"
"Yep," said Xander, "but like I said, he didn't even know I was there. He just walked up to the guy, staked him and walked out. The whole thing was surreal. What do you think it means?"
"I can tell you what it means," said Anya. "It means that Spike is a hero. He's one of us."
Xander looked skeptical. "I don't know if I'd go that far, An. I mean, Spike still an ev—a vampire."
"Yes, but he's a good vampire, like Angel," reasoned Anya.
"Angel has a soul. It's totally different," argued Xander.
Anya shot him a glare of death. "A soul doesn't make that much of a difference! It's time you realized that!"
"Anya!" Buffy shook her head and mouthed the words, "Not now."
Thankfully, Anya got the point. She decided to switch subjects. "You know what this means, Buffy? You can date him if you want to! Xander's officially certified Spike as 'not evil.' You should just go jump his bones right now! It's not like he can lose his soul or anything."
Xander looked like he was choking. "Great Caesar's Ghost! Anya, just because the guy's not entirely evil, doesn't mean it's okay for him to start dating our friends! Are you nuts! No, no way! Buffy is not dating Spike!"
Anya rolled her eyes. "Here we go again! I should've known that you'll never change! You are prejudiced against demons!"
"Not all demons! Just Spike!"
"Buffy, tell him—"
"Uh, you know what, guys?" Buffy really didn't want to be around to witness a fight. She had a lot to think about. "I, ah, really need to get going now. Dawn's gonna be home soon." Anya and Xander were shouting at each other, and didn't appear to hear her. "Um, Anya, I'll get to work on the whole self-defense thing. Xander, I'll call you tomorrow." Slowly, she began backing out of the store. "'Night, guys! See ya later!" Buffy turned tail and bolted out of the shop.