Radio Romance
By: Alexandra "Sea" Lyman
Author's Notes: Picks up immediately after that crapfest known as "As You Were"
Disclaimer: If I owned them the script for AYW would have been shredded, then the strips would have been burned, then the ash would have been buried deep in the bowels of the Earth, never to be seen again.
Spike heard the door to his crypt close, and knew that Buffy was gone. She'd left without a backward glance, after ripping out his heat and stomping on it with her ridiculously high, pointy-heeled boots. How did she manage to walk in those bloody things, let alone slay in them? And what was up with that purple peasant top?
He lit up a cigarette. He didn't particularly want one, but smoking was his "thing", so he had to light up every other minute. It was really hard on the throat at times.
"Going to hack up a bloody lung one of these days. Those "Truth" people can make a commercial about it. Smoking's so dangerous it even affects vamps. Look at Spike's lung! And Buffy won't care. She'll just think it's some stunt to win her sympathy, and I'll be all "It's my bleedin' lung, Buffy!"
Since his other thing was drinking, he went to the liqour cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels. It went down in one gulp. It was all Riley Sodding Wanker Finn's fault. Private Potato had to come back and ruin everything. Spike dug out a notebook from under the bed and collapsed into the ratty leather armchair. He opened the book to the page headed "Things To Do If I Ever Get The Bloody Chip Out" and ran his finger down the list.
i12. Punch Xander
13. Hunt down Carson Daly and kill him. Sodding TRL
14. Punch Xander
15. Show up at Three Stooges' lair dressed as menacing Star Wars character (orKlingon), watch em piss themselves, then kill them/i.
He added;
i16. Rip out Soldier Boy's spine and wear it as a scarf
17. Punch Xander/i
Spike tossed the notebook aside. It was too quiet, and everything he looked at reminded him of Buffy. The bed where they'd made love. The floor where they'd made love. The wall, up against which they'd made love. The chair - Christ, they'd been having a lot of sex. It was a wonder that he could even walk straight. But now it was dark and he was alone. He wanted to start brooding, but that was Angel's thing, and it was a slippery slope that led to copious amounts of hair-gel and extreme dorkiness.
He couldn't handle the quiet. Spike leaned over and turned on the little radio, twisting the dial to the first station that came in clearly. He needed some noise to block out the nasty little thoughts in his head. Otherwise when night fell he'd be at the Slayer's house, outside her window with a boom box like Lloyd Dobbler. Stupid 80's movie marathon. Gave him too many ideas.
Don't think about it.
The radio blared, and the words to the song began to penetrate Spike's consiousness.
i"How was I supposed to know, that something wasn't right here?"i
She said his love was killing her.
i"Oh baby, I shouldn't have let you go."i
Why had he let her walk away?
i"My lonliness is killing me."i
His lonliness would kill him. Without Buffy, his unlife had no meaning.
i"I must confess, I still believe."i
He still believed that he and Buffy had a chance.
i"When I'm not with you I lose my mind. Give me a sign, hit me baby one more time."i
God, it was like she was singing about them. How many times had he and Buffy kicked the crap out of each other? He'd gladly let her hit him, any day of the week.
i"Show me, how you want it to be, tell me baby, cause I need to know now."i
"Dammit Buffy!" Spike yelled out loud. "I'm not a bleedin' mind reader. Whatever you want I can give to you, just tell me what it is! Like the song says!"
i"Hit me baby one more time."i
Maybe he should try that again in another abandoned building. Worked well the first time.
The song ended and Spike sat dazed for a moment. Why hadn't he thought of this before? Why hadn't he realized that a prefab pop hit could help him understand his incredibly complex relationship with Buffy? He had to learn more! Spike leaned forward and frantically twisted the dial on the radio, looking for something else that would explain things to him.
i"Creole Lady Marmalade."i
Yes! That was it exactly! Buffy was a Creole Lady...wait a second. No she wasn't. What the hell was a Creole Lady Marmalade anyway?
He had to see Buffy. Unfortunately it was 11 in the morning, but that wasn't going to stop him. Spike grabbed his trusty umbrella and headed out the door, determined to win her back.
********
Alone in the house, Buffy wandered around the kitchen, wondering if she'd done the right thing. Maybe she shouldn't have worn the purple peasant top. She had a sneaking suspision that it was actually ugly, but no one had the guts to tell her. And then there was the whole Spike thing to worry about to.
Buffy flipped on the kitchen radio and started washing the dishes, trying to get the image of Spike's face out of her mind. Maybe telling him that their relationship was killing her was a little harsh, but she was no good at breakups. Her boyfriends either lost their souls or ran away to South America. Not a lot of hope-we-can-still-be-friends in that.
i"I think I did it again, I made you believe, we're more then just friends."i
Oh God, why had she even started with Spike in the first place?
i"It might seem like a crush, but that doesn't mean that I'm serious."i
She was using him. She knew it, he knew it.
i"Oops I did it again, I played with your heart, got lost in the game."i
Buffy glared at the radio, "Ok, I get it. I used him."
i"Oops you think you're in love, that I'm sent from above."i
Well, literally that was true. She had been sent back from above, and thank you so very much Willow for that one.
i"I'm not that innocent."i
Any innocense she had left pretty much flew out the window along with half the building that first night.
Buffy turned the volume up on the radio. This song was amazing. It was like it was speaking right to her. Every thought, every emotion, everything about her relationship with Spike was right there. It just made everything so clear.
i"But to lose all my senses, that's just so typically me."i
"Why didn't I realise this before?" Buffy asked, "Is it because my thoughts don't have a beat and backing vocals?"
i"Oops I, did it again to your heart."i
"Spike, I'm sorry!" Buffy cried. The song had shown her what a total bitch she'd been to Spike, when all he'd done was love her. And protected her sister. And disposed of a dead body for her. OK, so he hadn't done that last one well, but it's the thought that counts.
"Buffy!"
Her head jerked up. That sounded like Spike yelling. But it was 11:30 in the morning.
"Buffy!"
Oh right, the umbrella. Buffy ran through the house, flung open the front door, and stepped outside. Spike stood on the lawn (under the umbrella) with a small CD player tucked under his arm.
"Sodding Cameron Crowe." Spike muttered.
"What? Spike, I wanted to tell you..."
"No, Buffy don't say anything...bloody hell...I just want you to listen to something. That top's horrible by the way. This song explains how I feel for you better then I ever could."
Spike had cued up the song to the part he wanted and paused it. He started to lift the CD player over his head, but the umbrella slipped and he got hit with a bit of sun.
"Ow! Cor!"
Buffy was holding her breath in anticipation. What song had Spike chosen? U2's "One"? Nina Gordon's "Tonight"? Bon Jovi's "Always"?
Spike set the player on the ground and pushed play.
i"I think I love you, isn't that what life is made of?
Though it worries me to say, that I've never felt this way.
Believe me, you really don't have to worry,
I only want to make you happy,
And if you say hey go away I will
But I think better still, I better stay around and love you
Do you think I have a case
Let me ask you to your face
DO YOU THINK YOU LOVE ME?
I think I love you, I think I love you."i
"Oh Spike," Buffy whispered, "I understand now. The song showed me everything. Is this top really that ugly?"
"Yeah, it is. So what say you, Slayer? Want me to go away? Or do you think we can make this thing work?"
Buffy frowned. She'd been so sure an hour ago, but that was before Britney and David Cassiby had imparted their words of wisdom, and now she was all confused.
Spike sensed her quandry, "I have some Sarah McLachlan, if that'll help."
Buffy shuddered, "No Sarah, thanks. I know what I want, and oh Spike, I want to try again."
She ran into his arms and they began kissing. Then they started rolling around in the grass. Buffy had forgotten that the whole gang was coming over for lunch, and a few minutes later Xander's car pulled into the driveway. The four occupants got out, and stared at the sight of slayer and vampire on the lawn, carefully shielding themselves with a large umbrella.
"What the hell? Willow did you fix the Buffybot again?" Xander asked.
"I don't think that's the bot, Xander." Tara said gently. As if she would ever be sarcastic, even when it was incredibly justified.
Willow picked up the CD player, which had stopped when the song finished. She pushed play.
i"I'm sleeping, and right in the middle of a good dream."i
Willow smiled in understanding, "He wooed her with music."
i"I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of, a love there is no cure for,"i
Anya perked up, "What is this wonderful song? Xander! This should be our first dance at the wedding!"
Xander shook his fist at the sky, "Damn you Partridge Family! Damn you all to hell!"
End
i"Hello world, here's a song that we're singing, come on get happy!"i Partridge Family
i"Life's not a song."i Spike, Once More, With Feeling i"Bugger this!"i
i"Pepsi, for those who think young!"i Britney Spears