Ranma 1/2 : Ministry of Confusion
Part 6
A Ranma 1/2 FanFic by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne
(Most characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi, obviously. If
I ever even considered claiming that these were my own
characters I'd probably be thrown into a small cell where
I'd be forced to eat my own lungs to live.)
-=-
Ranma woke up for the umpteenth time, his body trying hard
to filter out the chemicals it had been bombarded with.
Eventually his bloodstream had cleansed itself to the point where
he could regain consciousness.
He opened his eyes slowly, half expecting to be in the
bowels of some other Ministry this time. However, he was greeted
with an unusual sight; his own room.
Ranma got up from his floor cot, surprised. He turned his
head this way and that, identifying all the little trademarks of
his room; the lack of decorations, the tiny pile of books in the
corner, the overhead lamp with a tendency to flicker in humid
weather. He was home.
What a horrible dream he had...
He checked his clock. 8:15 PM. He must've taken a nap
after getting home from the library... his book was here, fairly
beat up, but still in the battered backpack he must have set next
to the cot. He pulled it out of the nylon sack and perused a few
color-copied pages.
"Ranma!" Akane gasped, pausing as she walked by his door.
"You're awake!!"
"A.. Akane?" Ranma asked. "ARGH. Oh well, I guess it was
too much to hope someone had pulled a Dallas on me... how long
was I out?"
"Two days," Akane said. Ranma facefaulted into the floor.
"Something wrong, Ranma?"
"Last thing I remember was Nabiki pulling out a bottle of
Windex and blasting me," Ranma said, peeling himself from the
floor. "Guess it wasn't Windex. What happened, Akane? How'd I
get here?"
"They let us go," Akane shrugged. "Not much else to it than
that. I wheeled you home in a chair and we've been checking on
you occasionally. I hate to think of all the horrible things
they did to you..."
"Actually, they didn't do anything," Ranma said, getting up
and stretching from his Rip Van Winkle impersonation. "I woke
up, Nabiki Tendo scanned me with something and they told me to
leave. Something about an Experiment-R. I asked more about it
and they gassed me AGAIN."
"Since when does Nabiki do experiments?" Akane asked. "From
what I recall back home, she only did finances... no interest in
science."
"You're not kidding, huh? How much do you remember about
your life and/or your clone base's life?" Ranma asked.
"Everything," Akane said. "That's what I've been doing the
last two days waiting for you to recover, trying to remember it
all. I even remember when we established the government after
the old one collapsed... but not much beyond that."
"How's dad doing?"
"Your father is fine," Genma said, walking over to Ranma's
door as well. "Although he was worried SICK about you, Ranma.
Still, it's good to have you back, son."
"By all rights, I SHOULDN'T be back," Ranma grumbled.
"Neither should Akane. What did they want from us? Why'd they
let us go?"
"I don't think we'll ever know," Akane sighed. "Me, I'm
glad it's over. I haven't heard a peep out of the Ministry of
Peace about it either, which is GOOD."
"Give me an update here, Akane. What's been happening in
the world while I was out?"
*
"I still don't buy it," Nabiki complained, pacing around her
posh office at the Ministry of Economics. "I don't buy it one
bit. I mean, yes, we all signed declarations not to hold any
more secrets, but pen and paper doesn't mean anything to Kodachi.
She's still hiding something. Found anything yet?"
The covert agent in her office shrugged. "I have a few
leads, but not much," the agent said sadly. "I don't have any
way to explore them, either, at least not any safe way."
"What about our guards?" Nabiki asked. "They're not
commandos, but they should be good enough for some side work."
"We can't risk it. They would HAVE to be covert to follow
the leads I've found. I've done as much tracing as I can through
untraceable channels. To go farther means risk, and if we take
that risk and lose, Kodachi'll know in an instant who's
responsible. This Truth and Trust policy would put us in a very
bad position if Kodachi made her discovery public."
"Alright... then we need an operative who's separate, out of
the loop," Nabiki said. "Someone who won't know what he's
working for or why, but would be willing to do it and have the
skills needed. People like that don't grow on trees, DT."
"Begging your pardon, miss, but I think I may have one," DT
said. "I hazard to bring it up, because it's probably a bad idea
to use someone who so recently was in the spotlight... it's a
half baked notion, but..."
"Spit it out, who?"
"Ranma?" DT shrugged. "Okay, okay, it's a wild idea.
According to the reports he was ranting and foaming at the mouth,
wondering what the Ministries were up to. We could give him the
chance to uncover some information for himself and us. He's the
only person I can think of that could do it properly."
"He wouldn't cooperate," Nabiki said. "My little
Experiment-R failure is very, very suspicious after the ordeal
he's been put through."
"I never said we'd give him a choice, ma'am."
"Good point. Still, it would be very hard to coerce him."
"We could catch his Akane..." DT suggested. "I could hold
her downstairs for you while Ranma investigates the leads."
Nabiki narrowed her eyes. "DT, you know I disapprove of
kidnapping, especially an Akane. Have some respect for the
children of my dear departed sister."
"Sorry, sorry," DT apologized. "Sorry. I shouldn't have
mentioned it. Still, what else can we do? Ranma's in an ideal
position for black ops. He'll be kept from knowing who he works
for, he'll have the curiosity to go for it, and certainly he'll
have the strength and speed to provide his own backup."
Nabiki considered this, turning to her window to observe the
Tokyo skyline. As usual, it was nearly as bright now as it was
during the day, thanks to the holograms and neon and halogen
lights. Fortunately Nabiki's office had one way mirrors for
windows; she wouldn't want anybody finding out who DT was.
"How many leads do you have about Kodachi's operations?"
Nabiki asked, breaking the silence.
"A few. Some more threatening than others, but at least two
extremely dangerous ones. I can only speculate about that, of
course, we won't know until we check them out."
"Can't we just special order an extender?" Nabiki asked.
"Or make one of our own. We have the equipment from Experiment-
R, even if I claimed it was destroyed in the name of Truth and
Trust."
"We could, but the only way to truly ensure cooperation was
with inhibitors, which would also decrease the clone's
performance," DT said. "I know it's a long shot, but my advice
is to use Ranma. You don't have many options here, Nabiki.
Trust and Truth or none of the above, the Ministry of Economics
is in danger."
"But how would we convince him to do it?" Nabiki asked.
"Curiosity isn't enough, DT. We'd need a toehold on him somehow.
Could we offer to tell him about Experiment-R? I don't think it
would hurt much."
"I can offer that as an opener, but it may not be enough,"
DT said. "He'd very likely beat the tar out of me for not saying
more. He's unstable at the moment, Nabiki. Three nights ago his
life got very, very complicated for no reason and he'd do
anything to figure out why, as long as that anything is on his
own terms. Experiment-R might be enough, but if it isn't, we'll
have blown our chance."
"Does he have any weaknesses?" Nabiki asked. "Anything we
can use? Phobias? Complexes? Traditions? You know him better
than I do, DT. To me he's just an experiment gone wrong and a
bunch of genetic data."
"Hrm. I think he's afraid of cats."
"Not enough."
"Well, you KNOW he doesn't hit girls," DT said. "A girl
would be perfectly safe around him, just like bulletproof armor."
"A girl... you know... that's gives me an idea," Nabiki
said, a slow grin spreading off her face. She turned to face her
operative, who shuffled around uncomfortably under her gaze.
"Call down to the basement and see if they still have the results
of the failed Experiment-J."
"I thought that goop never worked."
"SOME of it did, DT. Just not any of the useful varieties.
I think the kind we need might still be available, however. Go
see to it. One last question; have we finally figured out where
Akane went in the mayhem?"
"You're going to have to be more specific, ma'am. There's
been a LOT of mayhem recently."
"The mayhem in the Ministry of Data warehouse. You know, we
were shipping Akane down there for secret storage, and Kodachi's
goons opened fire?"
"Oh, yes, data. Umm. Nabiki, I hate to say it, but she's
more than likely dead," DT said in a quiet voice. "From what
I've been able to tell through the records and security tapes,
the real Akane got mixed in with the other crates... some Akanes
died who were on cold storage when the fight began... some got
shipped... everything went nuts."
"Could she have been shipped?"
"I picked through the file mess with a fine tooth comb,
ma'am. Every shipped Akane had a clone's trademark. None of
them were humans. None of them were in a coma, and none of them
were the real Akane Tendo that we brought down there."
"How about the one that got shipped to Ranma?" Nabiki asked,
pulling at straws.
"Trademarked. She's a clone."
"Damn," Nabiki cursed, biting her lip. "I was so close
there, DT. If I could have gotten her out of that coma, I could
prove that Kodachi planted the car bomb. It would have taken
mere two hours with Ministry of Data equipment to revive her... I
guess she's lost for good now. If daddy were around he'd be
flooding the room by now."
"If you want, I could send out some further inquiries--"
"No," Nabiki denied. "The time for mourning is later. See
to getting Ranma on our side, we'll investigate Kodachi's little
hobbies. Akane would have wanted us to take the stupid
megalomaniac down."
*
"Truth, huh," Ranma said flatly.
"Truth and Trust, yeah. It's the big catch phrase,
overshadowing 'Ministry of Confusion' in buzzword popularity,"
Akane said. "That's everything. Not a peep out of the
Ministries otherwise. Things are back to normal again in Tokyo,
Ranma. I, for one, am glad."
"I don't buy it," Ranma said. "No way everything's nice and
happy and out in the open. For one thing, what's Experiment-R?
I can OBVIOUSLY tell what the R is, but what did they mean?"
"Ranma, just let it slide," Akane suggested, in calm tones.
"I don't want you tangling up with the MoP again. We were VERY
lucky to get out of that intact, with a blank check for our
future safety. No strings attached."
"You know, this puts us right back at square one," Ranma
said. "It's practically like we never left the house. I mean,
the crate's even there, right in the middle of the room. HEY,
POP! Don't you ever clean up around here?!"
Genma was too far away to hear, even with Ranma's healthy
lungs. He gave up the yell fest and turned back to the room he
was in.
"So what're you going to do now?" Ranma asked.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Well, obviously you don't want this engagement," Ranma
reminded her. "Remember, the ORIGINAL reason for the mess? We
don't own you, you know. You can do whatever you'd like to do
with your life."
"I... haven't decided yet," Akane said. "But until I do, I
don't have anywhere I can stay. Do you mind putting up with a
violent tomboy in your house for now?"
"Only if you don't mind having to hang around a perverted
idiot like me," Ranma said, without humor or spite. "We're still
not getting married, of course."
"Of course, Ranma. That much is obvious."
Silence hung thick in the air as the players tried to figure
out the next line of the script.
"RANMA!" Genma yelled from across the house, lungs far
superior to Ranma's. "You've got a visitor."
"Huh?" Ranma called back. "Who?"
"I hope the visitor isn't wearing combat armor," Akane
joked.
"That's not funny, Akane."
"Well, excuuuuse me," Akane said, making a nasty face at
him.
"Oh, THAT'S pleasant looking," Ranma said. "Bleargh."
"You want unpleasant, try a mirror," Akane retorted.
"You never quit, do you? What a tomboy."
"You're the one with no sense of humor, baka!"
"Baka? Who's the--"
"Ahem?"
Ranma and Akane turned to the dojo door, where the visitor
was standing. The girl at the door knocked lightly on the
doorframe, since it was improper to enter a room before knocking.
"Have I come at a bad time?" she asked.
"Who're you?" Ranma asked.
"What, you don't remember?" the girl asked. "I'm Yuriko?
Remember? From Kirusawa Junior High? I was in your third period
math class? We were dating for four weeks? You took me to the
senior dance?"
"Nani?" Akane asked. "Ranma, you have a GIRLFRIEND?"
"No! Whoa, I can explain... actually, no, I can't explain,"
Ranma corrected himself. "Listen, miss... Yuriko? I'm afraid I
don't remember any of that--"
"It's okay, it WAS a long time ago. Ranma, something's come
up. Can we talk?"
"Oh, don't mind me," Akane said forcefully. "I'm just his
tomboy fiancee. I'll go somewhere so you two can be together."
"Akane--"
Ranma was too late; she had already exited the dojo through
the back door and slammed several doors shut behind her in
progress towards the farthest point in the house from Ranma.
Ranma gulped.
"Okay, good, she's gone," Yuriko said, dropping the nervous
voice. "Come on, you, we'll be safe talking in the garage across
the street."
"Who are you?" Ranma asked. "What's your beef, charging in
here and pissing Akane off like that? I'll never hear the end of
this now! I'm lucky she forgot about Shampoo in the mess."
"I needed to cover your ass so we could discuss, and this
seemed like a good idea at the time," Yuriko said. "Oh well if
it wasn't to your liking. Come on, you, it's not safe to talk
here."
"Give me ONE good reason why I should," Ranma said, crossing
his arms defiantly.
"Experiment-R. Ring a bell?" Yuriko asked, poking Ranma in
the forehead. He teetered backwards in surprise, but regained
his balance.
"You know what it was?" he asked, losing his defensive tone.
"I know EVERYTHING about it," Yuriko said. "If you want to
know everything too, follow me."
Yuriko marched off for the front porch. Ranma jogged after
her, not wanting to lose the girl. He waved to Genma on the way
out the door, ignoring the alarmed look his father was giving
him.
*
"We'll be fine in here," Yuriko said, setting up a small gas
lantern in the center of the parking space. She already had a
number of items here; a VCR, a television, a small hot plate and
a kettle. Was she making tea or watching soaps or something? "I
scanned this place for bugs before showing up. Your house was
clean, but I didn't want to take any chances."
Ranma nodded, examining Yuriko in the pale light. He hadn't
gotten a good look at her yet, and the garage wasn't an ideal
get-to-know-you spot. She seemed kind of thin, unhealthily so,
with large eyes and stringy black hair. Very gothic looking, but
Ranma was never afraid of vampires.
"Experiment-R," Ranma said. "Spill it."
"There is a price," Yuriko said.
"What's the fee?"
"I get to splash you with this," Yuriko said, pulling a
small flask of water out of her coat.
"What's that, acid?"
"No, it's water," Yurkio said, uncorking it and taking a
sip. "Just normal water. It was in my orders, okay? You can
taste some if you want, just not too much."
"I'll pass," Ranma said. "Now tell me why the Ministries
wanted me."
"Not all of them did," Yuriko started, corking the container
again. "At first, just the Ministry of Economics. Ranma, brace
yourself for this, okay?"
"Braced."
"You're not human. You're a research project into extender
biogen."
"Ha. No, really, what should I brace for?"
"That," Yuriko said. "Ranma, I wouldn't drag you out here
to lie to you. You're not human, man, you're a clone."
"You're not serious!"
"I am. You were an experiment. Nabiki wanted to see if it
was possible to make a clone that didn't need extenders, but
still have it fall in line and be a responsible member of
society," Yuriko said. "She built a small lab in the basement of
the MoE, and picked an ideal guinea pig; you. You WERE human,
until she got you, cloned you and put your clone back in your
place."
"That's nuts. Why would she do that?" Ranma asked.
"Clones are very, very expensive. Half the cost is the
cloning process, and the other half is the delicate surgery
needed to install inhibitors. Nabiki hoped she could stop using
inhibitors if she could give humans reasons not to break the
law."
"I could have broken the law any time I wanted!"
"But you didn't. Promise to your dad, remember? Nabiki put
that in you. A small memory patch, not nearly as costly as a
full tilt personality cover and behavior modification. Your dad
was informed by the MoE that his son was dead, and they were
sending a clone in his place. He was given orders to move and
keep you from harm. It was either that or he'd get no son,
period."
"Was the MoE telling the truth?"
"Of course," Yuriko nodded. "Your clone base was killed
before you were activated. Lab accident."
"You KILLED ME?!" Ranma screamed.
"Whoa! Calm down, please, not me. I'm not MoE."
"What are you, then? Tell me!"
"Freelance," Yuriko said. "I'm just like you, Ranma. I
want to know the truth behind all things. The truth is out
there, if you look hard enough for it. Now do you want me to
continue, or do you want to keep contradicting everything I say?"
"Continue. THEN I'll contradict when you're done."
"Good. Anyway, it hit the fan when your dad decided to
fulfill a promise to your mom, despite you not really being his
son. He bought you a fiancee. The MoE was monitoring your
home -- relax, they've taken the cameras out by now -- to observe
the experiment and see if it was working. You started arguing
with her and they got worried that Genma had introduced an
agitator into the experiment. You remember what happened next?"
"A Ministry of Economics officer showed up to take Akane
away," Ranma nodded.
"Nabiki wanted her out of there before the experiment was
ruined. You failed, Ranma. You punched the guy and ran. You
broke the law, and broke your honor-bound promise we gave you.
Nabiki sent out teams to bring you in, hoping she could get you
out before the corruption was complete. The other three
Ministries noticed and started combing the streets for you and
Akane, curious as to why we wanted one or both of you. Once
Kodachi finally got you, a quick scan showed that your patch
wasn't strong enough. You'd never be 100% lawful again. The
experiment was declared a failure and Nabiki decided to let you
go, since you didn't know enough to prove a threat to her."
Ranma paused, soaking this in. Yuriko lit up a cigarette,
flicker briefly illuminating her tired face.
"That's it?" Ranma asked.
"Yeah, that's it. Like sands through the hourglass, so are
the days of your lives and all."
"You don't have any hard evidence other than that?" Ranma
asked. "How can you expect me to believe--"
"Here you go," Yuriko said, passing Ranma some papers and
objects from her coat. "Official death certificate, Ranma
Saotome, dated two days before your shipment. Some stolen
reports from Experiment-R on your clone's growth. Pirated office
memo from Nabiki to the basement... sorry for the blur at the
top, copier's on the fritz. Finally, if you want it, video tape
of your dad accepting your shipment and explaining to you how you
had hit your head and were in a coma for several days, waking up
just then."
"I don't have a VCR," Ranma replied, ignoring the papers.
"I do, right here. I also have housing permits for TWO
Saotome dojos," Yurkio said, flashing them at Ranma. "One where
you used to live, and the one you're in now that the MoE built.
They felt that Nerima would be safer for you. Less past contacts
from your life to get into the mix and upset the balance."
"Any of this could have been doctored," Ranma said.
"Ranma, that's the whole story," Yuriko said. "Whether you
believe it or not, according to my investigations, that's the
truth. Go on believing what you want. Now, you have to pay the
price for this information."
"Oh yeah, water," Ranma nodded. "Go ahead. Can't be any
weirder than any of this other junk you've laid on me."
Yuriko uncorked the vial and splashed Ranma with the water.
"Now if you want the cure for that, you'll have to pay
ANOTHER small fee," Yuriko said, tossing the empty vial away. It
shattered on the garage floor.
"Cure for what?" Ranma asked, surprised at the sound of her
own voice.
"Cure for the Jusenkyo mutating agent I just doused you
with," Yuriko smiled. "Congratulations, it's a girl!"
Ranma blinked, and looked down.
"GYAAAAAH!" she yelled, seeing mammaries where there weren't
any before. She tried to pull them off, unsuccessfully-- they
were the real thing. A quick peek into her pants proved the
rest.
"Nice hair," Yuriko said, pointing to Ranma's new do. It
was the same as before, actually; but a cheery fire engine red.
"Hair color tends to be random when Jusenkyo mutation agent takes
effect. One of the problems with the formula, you see."
"What did you DO?!" Ranma asked, poking at herself a few
times.
"Nothing permanent, Ranma, relax. Here's what's going to
happen. You want the truth, I want the truth. I need someone
who's strong enough, clever enough and lucky enough to find it
out for me. You're it. You will do what I say and go where I
tell you in your new 'disguise'. In return, once you're done
with the few jobs I have for you, I'll give you the reversing
agent for your new mutation, and you'll know all there is to know
about the black ops of the Ministry of Peace. Got it?"
"Why, you little--" Ranma growled, charging at the girl.
"You don't hit girls, remember?" Yuriko said, smiling.
"Don't think I didn't research you, Ranma. I know you better
than you know yourself."
"If you weren't a girl, I'd rip your head off," Ranma said.
"I'm sorry you feel that way. You've got the chance of a
lifetime here, Ranma. You're going to singlehandedly uncover all
there is to hide in this town. Together, we're going to take
down the Ministry of Peace and put this city in working order."
"What if I walk away now and ignore your stupid idea?" Ranma
asked.
"Go ahead. Have fun trying to get your father to recognize
you," Yuriko said in a not entirely friendly way.
"I thought you said you weren't going to give me the cure
until I was done whatever it is you want!"
"There are cures and there are cures," Yuriko said. "Here's
the key, Ranma. Your curse is permanent until I get you the male
mutagen. You can toggle between your male and female mutations
with a good dousing of water; cold for female, hot for male.
Simple, easy to understand. A powerful, POWERFUL tool when used
for your own benefit. Also a very embarrassing, if not dangerous
one. If you walk on me, you'll never have a shot at permanent
reversal of the curse."
"Why did you do this?" Ranma asked. "Why not just tell me
what you wanted? I can run errands, or whatever. You didn't
have to change my GENDER!"
"We needed to be assured you'd cooperate," Yuriko said.
"AHA! We. You said we. Who else is involved here?"
"Uhherr?" Yuriko sounded, taken aback. "We? What we?"
Ranma recognized an opening when she saw it and dove for it.
"We. Yuriko, who else is involved? Who else wants to know the
truth about the Ministry of Peace? Is someone else directing
you?"
"Okay, there's a we," Yuriko admitted. "But I can't tell
you who that we is, even if I wanted to. It's just not going to
happen, Saotome."
"Ministry of Economics. It HAS to be. How else could you
get all that proof? Who else would know so much about me? Did
Nabiki put you up to this?"
"You'll never know," Yuriko said. "If you get caught, my
employer doesn't want you to have anything more than speculation.
Ranma, if you physically obtain proof as to who I am, we're going
to have to eliminate you. You'd be too dangerous. Got that?"
"Got it," Ranma said, clenching her teeth. "Alright, what
do you want me to do? Let's get this over with."
"Nothing for now," Yuriko said, turning away from Ranma.
She reached over for the kettle and walked up to Ranma, who
backed off. "Hold still, Ranma. Hot water, remember? You want
to go home like this?"
Ranma held still. Yuriko slowly poured the water on her,
and Ranma's body shivered from the heat. He felt himself in
several key locations, and sure enough, was a he.
"Temporary," Yuriko reminded him, setting the kettle down.
"I'll contact you later for your first assignment. You'll
recognize me if I show up as 'your good childhood friend Yuriko'
or if I refer to you by your code name on the phone."
"Code name?"
"Ranko," Yuriko said. "Anybody who calls you Ranko is on
our side."
"Whoever said I was on your side?"
"Ranma, I don't like this anymore than you do," Yuriko said.
"I've got no choice here. You're our only hope, and as much as I
hate seeing that blasted mutagen used, we need a way to keep you
from running off on us. It won't be long, then you can go back
to your life. When we're in public, you should refer to me as
Yuriko, but my code name is Deep Thought. If anybody mentions me
by name, trust them. Got all that?"
"Got it, yeah," Ranma said. "You know, I think having run
off with an old girlfriend would have been preferable to this.
Akane'll never believe me."
"That's good. For her safety, you shouldn't tell her,"
Yuriko said. "I don't want Akane getting hurt. Got it? Keep
her out of this. Don't take her on missions, don't tell her
where you're going, and for god's sakes quit picking on her!
You're such a little toad, Saotome. No respect at all."
"Is that all, or did you want to insult me some more?" Ranma
asked. "Maybe turn me into a frog too?"
"Get out of here," Yuriko said. "I'll contact you soon."
End of File
Ministry of Data record GH.3704.7734.6
Private use only
Part 6
A Ranma 1/2 FanFic by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne
(Most characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi, obviously. If
I ever even considered claiming that these were my own
characters I'd probably be thrown into a small cell where
I'd be forced to eat my own lungs to live.)
-=-
Ranma woke up for the umpteenth time, his body trying hard
to filter out the chemicals it had been bombarded with.
Eventually his bloodstream had cleansed itself to the point where
he could regain consciousness.
He opened his eyes slowly, half expecting to be in the
bowels of some other Ministry this time. However, he was greeted
with an unusual sight; his own room.
Ranma got up from his floor cot, surprised. He turned his
head this way and that, identifying all the little trademarks of
his room; the lack of decorations, the tiny pile of books in the
corner, the overhead lamp with a tendency to flicker in humid
weather. He was home.
What a horrible dream he had...
He checked his clock. 8:15 PM. He must've taken a nap
after getting home from the library... his book was here, fairly
beat up, but still in the battered backpack he must have set next
to the cot. He pulled it out of the nylon sack and perused a few
color-copied pages.
"Ranma!" Akane gasped, pausing as she walked by his door.
"You're awake!!"
"A.. Akane?" Ranma asked. "ARGH. Oh well, I guess it was
too much to hope someone had pulled a Dallas on me... how long
was I out?"
"Two days," Akane said. Ranma facefaulted into the floor.
"Something wrong, Ranma?"
"Last thing I remember was Nabiki pulling out a bottle of
Windex and blasting me," Ranma said, peeling himself from the
floor. "Guess it wasn't Windex. What happened, Akane? How'd I
get here?"
"They let us go," Akane shrugged. "Not much else to it than
that. I wheeled you home in a chair and we've been checking on
you occasionally. I hate to think of all the horrible things
they did to you..."
"Actually, they didn't do anything," Ranma said, getting up
and stretching from his Rip Van Winkle impersonation. "I woke
up, Nabiki Tendo scanned me with something and they told me to
leave. Something about an Experiment-R. I asked more about it
and they gassed me AGAIN."
"Since when does Nabiki do experiments?" Akane asked. "From
what I recall back home, she only did finances... no interest in
science."
"You're not kidding, huh? How much do you remember about
your life and/or your clone base's life?" Ranma asked.
"Everything," Akane said. "That's what I've been doing the
last two days waiting for you to recover, trying to remember it
all. I even remember when we established the government after
the old one collapsed... but not much beyond that."
"How's dad doing?"
"Your father is fine," Genma said, walking over to Ranma's
door as well. "Although he was worried SICK about you, Ranma.
Still, it's good to have you back, son."
"By all rights, I SHOULDN'T be back," Ranma grumbled.
"Neither should Akane. What did they want from us? Why'd they
let us go?"
"I don't think we'll ever know," Akane sighed. "Me, I'm
glad it's over. I haven't heard a peep out of the Ministry of
Peace about it either, which is GOOD."
"Give me an update here, Akane. What's been happening in
the world while I was out?"
*
"I still don't buy it," Nabiki complained, pacing around her
posh office at the Ministry of Economics. "I don't buy it one
bit. I mean, yes, we all signed declarations not to hold any
more secrets, but pen and paper doesn't mean anything to Kodachi.
She's still hiding something. Found anything yet?"
The covert agent in her office shrugged. "I have a few
leads, but not much," the agent said sadly. "I don't have any
way to explore them, either, at least not any safe way."
"What about our guards?" Nabiki asked. "They're not
commandos, but they should be good enough for some side work."
"We can't risk it. They would HAVE to be covert to follow
the leads I've found. I've done as much tracing as I can through
untraceable channels. To go farther means risk, and if we take
that risk and lose, Kodachi'll know in an instant who's
responsible. This Truth and Trust policy would put us in a very
bad position if Kodachi made her discovery public."
"Alright... then we need an operative who's separate, out of
the loop," Nabiki said. "Someone who won't know what he's
working for or why, but would be willing to do it and have the
skills needed. People like that don't grow on trees, DT."
"Begging your pardon, miss, but I think I may have one," DT
said. "I hazard to bring it up, because it's probably a bad idea
to use someone who so recently was in the spotlight... it's a
half baked notion, but..."
"Spit it out, who?"
"Ranma?" DT shrugged. "Okay, okay, it's a wild idea.
According to the reports he was ranting and foaming at the mouth,
wondering what the Ministries were up to. We could give him the
chance to uncover some information for himself and us. He's the
only person I can think of that could do it properly."
"He wouldn't cooperate," Nabiki said. "My little
Experiment-R failure is very, very suspicious after the ordeal
he's been put through."
"I never said we'd give him a choice, ma'am."
"Good point. Still, it would be very hard to coerce him."
"We could catch his Akane..." DT suggested. "I could hold
her downstairs for you while Ranma investigates the leads."
Nabiki narrowed her eyes. "DT, you know I disapprove of
kidnapping, especially an Akane. Have some respect for the
children of my dear departed sister."
"Sorry, sorry," DT apologized. "Sorry. I shouldn't have
mentioned it. Still, what else can we do? Ranma's in an ideal
position for black ops. He'll be kept from knowing who he works
for, he'll have the curiosity to go for it, and certainly he'll
have the strength and speed to provide his own backup."
Nabiki considered this, turning to her window to observe the
Tokyo skyline. As usual, it was nearly as bright now as it was
during the day, thanks to the holograms and neon and halogen
lights. Fortunately Nabiki's office had one way mirrors for
windows; she wouldn't want anybody finding out who DT was.
"How many leads do you have about Kodachi's operations?"
Nabiki asked, breaking the silence.
"A few. Some more threatening than others, but at least two
extremely dangerous ones. I can only speculate about that, of
course, we won't know until we check them out."
"Can't we just special order an extender?" Nabiki asked.
"Or make one of our own. We have the equipment from Experiment-
R, even if I claimed it was destroyed in the name of Truth and
Trust."
"We could, but the only way to truly ensure cooperation was
with inhibitors, which would also decrease the clone's
performance," DT said. "I know it's a long shot, but my advice
is to use Ranma. You don't have many options here, Nabiki.
Trust and Truth or none of the above, the Ministry of Economics
is in danger."
"But how would we convince him to do it?" Nabiki asked.
"Curiosity isn't enough, DT. We'd need a toehold on him somehow.
Could we offer to tell him about Experiment-R? I don't think it
would hurt much."
"I can offer that as an opener, but it may not be enough,"
DT said. "He'd very likely beat the tar out of me for not saying
more. He's unstable at the moment, Nabiki. Three nights ago his
life got very, very complicated for no reason and he'd do
anything to figure out why, as long as that anything is on his
own terms. Experiment-R might be enough, but if it isn't, we'll
have blown our chance."
"Does he have any weaknesses?" Nabiki asked. "Anything we
can use? Phobias? Complexes? Traditions? You know him better
than I do, DT. To me he's just an experiment gone wrong and a
bunch of genetic data."
"Hrm. I think he's afraid of cats."
"Not enough."
"Well, you KNOW he doesn't hit girls," DT said. "A girl
would be perfectly safe around him, just like bulletproof armor."
"A girl... you know... that's gives me an idea," Nabiki
said, a slow grin spreading off her face. She turned to face her
operative, who shuffled around uncomfortably under her gaze.
"Call down to the basement and see if they still have the results
of the failed Experiment-J."
"I thought that goop never worked."
"SOME of it did, DT. Just not any of the useful varieties.
I think the kind we need might still be available, however. Go
see to it. One last question; have we finally figured out where
Akane went in the mayhem?"
"You're going to have to be more specific, ma'am. There's
been a LOT of mayhem recently."
"The mayhem in the Ministry of Data warehouse. You know, we
were shipping Akane down there for secret storage, and Kodachi's
goons opened fire?"
"Oh, yes, data. Umm. Nabiki, I hate to say it, but she's
more than likely dead," DT said in a quiet voice. "From what
I've been able to tell through the records and security tapes,
the real Akane got mixed in with the other crates... some Akanes
died who were on cold storage when the fight began... some got
shipped... everything went nuts."
"Could she have been shipped?"
"I picked through the file mess with a fine tooth comb,
ma'am. Every shipped Akane had a clone's trademark. None of
them were humans. None of them were in a coma, and none of them
were the real Akane Tendo that we brought down there."
"How about the one that got shipped to Ranma?" Nabiki asked,
pulling at straws.
"Trademarked. She's a clone."
"Damn," Nabiki cursed, biting her lip. "I was so close
there, DT. If I could have gotten her out of that coma, I could
prove that Kodachi planted the car bomb. It would have taken
mere two hours with Ministry of Data equipment to revive her... I
guess she's lost for good now. If daddy were around he'd be
flooding the room by now."
"If you want, I could send out some further inquiries--"
"No," Nabiki denied. "The time for mourning is later. See
to getting Ranma on our side, we'll investigate Kodachi's little
hobbies. Akane would have wanted us to take the stupid
megalomaniac down."
*
"Truth, huh," Ranma said flatly.
"Truth and Trust, yeah. It's the big catch phrase,
overshadowing 'Ministry of Confusion' in buzzword popularity,"
Akane said. "That's everything. Not a peep out of the
Ministries otherwise. Things are back to normal again in Tokyo,
Ranma. I, for one, am glad."
"I don't buy it," Ranma said. "No way everything's nice and
happy and out in the open. For one thing, what's Experiment-R?
I can OBVIOUSLY tell what the R is, but what did they mean?"
"Ranma, just let it slide," Akane suggested, in calm tones.
"I don't want you tangling up with the MoP again. We were VERY
lucky to get out of that intact, with a blank check for our
future safety. No strings attached."
"You know, this puts us right back at square one," Ranma
said. "It's practically like we never left the house. I mean,
the crate's even there, right in the middle of the room. HEY,
POP! Don't you ever clean up around here?!"
Genma was too far away to hear, even with Ranma's healthy
lungs. He gave up the yell fest and turned back to the room he
was in.
"So what're you going to do now?" Ranma asked.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Well, obviously you don't want this engagement," Ranma
reminded her. "Remember, the ORIGINAL reason for the mess? We
don't own you, you know. You can do whatever you'd like to do
with your life."
"I... haven't decided yet," Akane said. "But until I do, I
don't have anywhere I can stay. Do you mind putting up with a
violent tomboy in your house for now?"
"Only if you don't mind having to hang around a perverted
idiot like me," Ranma said, without humor or spite. "We're still
not getting married, of course."
"Of course, Ranma. That much is obvious."
Silence hung thick in the air as the players tried to figure
out the next line of the script.
"RANMA!" Genma yelled from across the house, lungs far
superior to Ranma's. "You've got a visitor."
"Huh?" Ranma called back. "Who?"
"I hope the visitor isn't wearing combat armor," Akane
joked.
"That's not funny, Akane."
"Well, excuuuuse me," Akane said, making a nasty face at
him.
"Oh, THAT'S pleasant looking," Ranma said. "Bleargh."
"You want unpleasant, try a mirror," Akane retorted.
"You never quit, do you? What a tomboy."
"You're the one with no sense of humor, baka!"
"Baka? Who's the--"
"Ahem?"
Ranma and Akane turned to the dojo door, where the visitor
was standing. The girl at the door knocked lightly on the
doorframe, since it was improper to enter a room before knocking.
"Have I come at a bad time?" she asked.
"Who're you?" Ranma asked.
"What, you don't remember?" the girl asked. "I'm Yuriko?
Remember? From Kirusawa Junior High? I was in your third period
math class? We were dating for four weeks? You took me to the
senior dance?"
"Nani?" Akane asked. "Ranma, you have a GIRLFRIEND?"
"No! Whoa, I can explain... actually, no, I can't explain,"
Ranma corrected himself. "Listen, miss... Yuriko? I'm afraid I
don't remember any of that--"
"It's okay, it WAS a long time ago. Ranma, something's come
up. Can we talk?"
"Oh, don't mind me," Akane said forcefully. "I'm just his
tomboy fiancee. I'll go somewhere so you two can be together."
"Akane--"
Ranma was too late; she had already exited the dojo through
the back door and slammed several doors shut behind her in
progress towards the farthest point in the house from Ranma.
Ranma gulped.
"Okay, good, she's gone," Yuriko said, dropping the nervous
voice. "Come on, you, we'll be safe talking in the garage across
the street."
"Who are you?" Ranma asked. "What's your beef, charging in
here and pissing Akane off like that? I'll never hear the end of
this now! I'm lucky she forgot about Shampoo in the mess."
"I needed to cover your ass so we could discuss, and this
seemed like a good idea at the time," Yuriko said. "Oh well if
it wasn't to your liking. Come on, you, it's not safe to talk
here."
"Give me ONE good reason why I should," Ranma said, crossing
his arms defiantly.
"Experiment-R. Ring a bell?" Yuriko asked, poking Ranma in
the forehead. He teetered backwards in surprise, but regained
his balance.
"You know what it was?" he asked, losing his defensive tone.
"I know EVERYTHING about it," Yuriko said. "If you want to
know everything too, follow me."
Yuriko marched off for the front porch. Ranma jogged after
her, not wanting to lose the girl. He waved to Genma on the way
out the door, ignoring the alarmed look his father was giving
him.
*
"We'll be fine in here," Yuriko said, setting up a small gas
lantern in the center of the parking space. She already had a
number of items here; a VCR, a television, a small hot plate and
a kettle. Was she making tea or watching soaps or something? "I
scanned this place for bugs before showing up. Your house was
clean, but I didn't want to take any chances."
Ranma nodded, examining Yuriko in the pale light. He hadn't
gotten a good look at her yet, and the garage wasn't an ideal
get-to-know-you spot. She seemed kind of thin, unhealthily so,
with large eyes and stringy black hair. Very gothic looking, but
Ranma was never afraid of vampires.
"Experiment-R," Ranma said. "Spill it."
"There is a price," Yuriko said.
"What's the fee?"
"I get to splash you with this," Yuriko said, pulling a
small flask of water out of her coat.
"What's that, acid?"
"No, it's water," Yurkio said, uncorking it and taking a
sip. "Just normal water. It was in my orders, okay? You can
taste some if you want, just not too much."
"I'll pass," Ranma said. "Now tell me why the Ministries
wanted me."
"Not all of them did," Yuriko started, corking the container
again. "At first, just the Ministry of Economics. Ranma, brace
yourself for this, okay?"
"Braced."
"You're not human. You're a research project into extender
biogen."
"Ha. No, really, what should I brace for?"
"That," Yuriko said. "Ranma, I wouldn't drag you out here
to lie to you. You're not human, man, you're a clone."
"You're not serious!"
"I am. You were an experiment. Nabiki wanted to see if it
was possible to make a clone that didn't need extenders, but
still have it fall in line and be a responsible member of
society," Yuriko said. "She built a small lab in the basement of
the MoE, and picked an ideal guinea pig; you. You WERE human,
until she got you, cloned you and put your clone back in your
place."
"That's nuts. Why would she do that?" Ranma asked.
"Clones are very, very expensive. Half the cost is the
cloning process, and the other half is the delicate surgery
needed to install inhibitors. Nabiki hoped she could stop using
inhibitors if she could give humans reasons not to break the
law."
"I could have broken the law any time I wanted!"
"But you didn't. Promise to your dad, remember? Nabiki put
that in you. A small memory patch, not nearly as costly as a
full tilt personality cover and behavior modification. Your dad
was informed by the MoE that his son was dead, and they were
sending a clone in his place. He was given orders to move and
keep you from harm. It was either that or he'd get no son,
period."
"Was the MoE telling the truth?"
"Of course," Yuriko nodded. "Your clone base was killed
before you were activated. Lab accident."
"You KILLED ME?!" Ranma screamed.
"Whoa! Calm down, please, not me. I'm not MoE."
"What are you, then? Tell me!"
"Freelance," Yuriko said. "I'm just like you, Ranma. I
want to know the truth behind all things. The truth is out
there, if you look hard enough for it. Now do you want me to
continue, or do you want to keep contradicting everything I say?"
"Continue. THEN I'll contradict when you're done."
"Good. Anyway, it hit the fan when your dad decided to
fulfill a promise to your mom, despite you not really being his
son. He bought you a fiancee. The MoE was monitoring your
home -- relax, they've taken the cameras out by now -- to observe
the experiment and see if it was working. You started arguing
with her and they got worried that Genma had introduced an
agitator into the experiment. You remember what happened next?"
"A Ministry of Economics officer showed up to take Akane
away," Ranma nodded.
"Nabiki wanted her out of there before the experiment was
ruined. You failed, Ranma. You punched the guy and ran. You
broke the law, and broke your honor-bound promise we gave you.
Nabiki sent out teams to bring you in, hoping she could get you
out before the corruption was complete. The other three
Ministries noticed and started combing the streets for you and
Akane, curious as to why we wanted one or both of you. Once
Kodachi finally got you, a quick scan showed that your patch
wasn't strong enough. You'd never be 100% lawful again. The
experiment was declared a failure and Nabiki decided to let you
go, since you didn't know enough to prove a threat to her."
Ranma paused, soaking this in. Yuriko lit up a cigarette,
flicker briefly illuminating her tired face.
"That's it?" Ranma asked.
"Yeah, that's it. Like sands through the hourglass, so are
the days of your lives and all."
"You don't have any hard evidence other than that?" Ranma
asked. "How can you expect me to believe--"
"Here you go," Yuriko said, passing Ranma some papers and
objects from her coat. "Official death certificate, Ranma
Saotome, dated two days before your shipment. Some stolen
reports from Experiment-R on your clone's growth. Pirated office
memo from Nabiki to the basement... sorry for the blur at the
top, copier's on the fritz. Finally, if you want it, video tape
of your dad accepting your shipment and explaining to you how you
had hit your head and were in a coma for several days, waking up
just then."
"I don't have a VCR," Ranma replied, ignoring the papers.
"I do, right here. I also have housing permits for TWO
Saotome dojos," Yurkio said, flashing them at Ranma. "One where
you used to live, and the one you're in now that the MoE built.
They felt that Nerima would be safer for you. Less past contacts
from your life to get into the mix and upset the balance."
"Any of this could have been doctored," Ranma said.
"Ranma, that's the whole story," Yuriko said. "Whether you
believe it or not, according to my investigations, that's the
truth. Go on believing what you want. Now, you have to pay the
price for this information."
"Oh yeah, water," Ranma nodded. "Go ahead. Can't be any
weirder than any of this other junk you've laid on me."
Yuriko uncorked the vial and splashed Ranma with the water.
"Now if you want the cure for that, you'll have to pay
ANOTHER small fee," Yuriko said, tossing the empty vial away. It
shattered on the garage floor.
"Cure for what?" Ranma asked, surprised at the sound of her
own voice.
"Cure for the Jusenkyo mutating agent I just doused you
with," Yuriko smiled. "Congratulations, it's a girl!"
Ranma blinked, and looked down.
"GYAAAAAH!" she yelled, seeing mammaries where there weren't
any before. She tried to pull them off, unsuccessfully-- they
were the real thing. A quick peek into her pants proved the
rest.
"Nice hair," Yuriko said, pointing to Ranma's new do. It
was the same as before, actually; but a cheery fire engine red.
"Hair color tends to be random when Jusenkyo mutation agent takes
effect. One of the problems with the formula, you see."
"What did you DO?!" Ranma asked, poking at herself a few
times.
"Nothing permanent, Ranma, relax. Here's what's going to
happen. You want the truth, I want the truth. I need someone
who's strong enough, clever enough and lucky enough to find it
out for me. You're it. You will do what I say and go where I
tell you in your new 'disguise'. In return, once you're done
with the few jobs I have for you, I'll give you the reversing
agent for your new mutation, and you'll know all there is to know
about the black ops of the Ministry of Peace. Got it?"
"Why, you little--" Ranma growled, charging at the girl.
"You don't hit girls, remember?" Yuriko said, smiling.
"Don't think I didn't research you, Ranma. I know you better
than you know yourself."
"If you weren't a girl, I'd rip your head off," Ranma said.
"I'm sorry you feel that way. You've got the chance of a
lifetime here, Ranma. You're going to singlehandedly uncover all
there is to hide in this town. Together, we're going to take
down the Ministry of Peace and put this city in working order."
"What if I walk away now and ignore your stupid idea?" Ranma
asked.
"Go ahead. Have fun trying to get your father to recognize
you," Yuriko said in a not entirely friendly way.
"I thought you said you weren't going to give me the cure
until I was done whatever it is you want!"
"There are cures and there are cures," Yuriko said. "Here's
the key, Ranma. Your curse is permanent until I get you the male
mutagen. You can toggle between your male and female mutations
with a good dousing of water; cold for female, hot for male.
Simple, easy to understand. A powerful, POWERFUL tool when used
for your own benefit. Also a very embarrassing, if not dangerous
one. If you walk on me, you'll never have a shot at permanent
reversal of the curse."
"Why did you do this?" Ranma asked. "Why not just tell me
what you wanted? I can run errands, or whatever. You didn't
have to change my GENDER!"
"We needed to be assured you'd cooperate," Yuriko said.
"AHA! We. You said we. Who else is involved here?"
"Uhherr?" Yuriko sounded, taken aback. "We? What we?"
Ranma recognized an opening when she saw it and dove for it.
"We. Yuriko, who else is involved? Who else wants to know the
truth about the Ministry of Peace? Is someone else directing
you?"
"Okay, there's a we," Yuriko admitted. "But I can't tell
you who that we is, even if I wanted to. It's just not going to
happen, Saotome."
"Ministry of Economics. It HAS to be. How else could you
get all that proof? Who else would know so much about me? Did
Nabiki put you up to this?"
"You'll never know," Yuriko said. "If you get caught, my
employer doesn't want you to have anything more than speculation.
Ranma, if you physically obtain proof as to who I am, we're going
to have to eliminate you. You'd be too dangerous. Got that?"
"Got it," Ranma said, clenching her teeth. "Alright, what
do you want me to do? Let's get this over with."
"Nothing for now," Yuriko said, turning away from Ranma.
She reached over for the kettle and walked up to Ranma, who
backed off. "Hold still, Ranma. Hot water, remember? You want
to go home like this?"
Ranma held still. Yuriko slowly poured the water on her,
and Ranma's body shivered from the heat. He felt himself in
several key locations, and sure enough, was a he.
"Temporary," Yuriko reminded him, setting the kettle down.
"I'll contact you later for your first assignment. You'll
recognize me if I show up as 'your good childhood friend Yuriko'
or if I refer to you by your code name on the phone."
"Code name?"
"Ranko," Yuriko said. "Anybody who calls you Ranko is on
our side."
"Whoever said I was on your side?"
"Ranma, I don't like this anymore than you do," Yuriko said.
"I've got no choice here. You're our only hope, and as much as I
hate seeing that blasted mutagen used, we need a way to keep you
from running off on us. It won't be long, then you can go back
to your life. When we're in public, you should refer to me as
Yuriko, but my code name is Deep Thought. If anybody mentions me
by name, trust them. Got all that?"
"Got it, yeah," Ranma said. "You know, I think having run
off with an old girlfriend would have been preferable to this.
Akane'll never believe me."
"That's good. For her safety, you shouldn't tell her,"
Yuriko said. "I don't want Akane getting hurt. Got it? Keep
her out of this. Don't take her on missions, don't tell her
where you're going, and for god's sakes quit picking on her!
You're such a little toad, Saotome. No respect at all."
"Is that all, or did you want to insult me some more?" Ranma
asked. "Maybe turn me into a frog too?"
"Get out of here," Yuriko said. "I'll contact you soon."
End of File
Ministry of Data record GH.3704.7734.6
Private use only