Chapter 14: Walking A Thin Line

He was floating in a void and everywhere he looked was just an endless expense of blue.

He had no idea where he was and what had happened to him. The last thing he remembered was fighting…there had been a needle-sharp pain in his neck when an assassin jabbed him with a dart, and then, nothing. He had woken up here, in this featureless place. Where am I? Am I dead? He wondered what had happened to everyone else…His throat constricted when he thought about Miaka. Had she gotten away safely?

As if in response to his thoughts, there was suddenly a large doorway in front of him. He could almost have sworn that it had not been there a moment ago. Cautiously approaching it, he reached out to touch it, putting a hand through…

The surface rippled like liquid metal as he yanked his arm back in shock. The ripples subsided, leaving behind an image like a reflection in a mirror…

…only the reflection wasn't of himself.

He saw a handsome blonde man and a pretty russet-haired girl…

Together.

Kissing.

Taka paled and swung a fist at the smooth mirror-like surface in a desperate attempt to make the image go away. The picture distorted beyond recognition when his hand came into contact with it, exploding into iridescent waves. Backing away, he tried not to look, but the image had been burned into his mind, searing into his heart. He slowly sunk to his knees, his body shaking with silent anguish.

In the doorway, the ripples had cleared, but the image remained; perfect, unmarred, frozen in time for all to see.

In the darkness broken only by the faint blue glow of an energy field, two men hung suspended in a prison with no bars. Barely conscious, one of them managed to open his eyes.

Something in his eyes had changed, and they were no longer the gentle violet they had once been. They were dark… the colour of the sky at twilight, clouded with jealousy and despair. A second later, his eyelids slipped closed again, and everything was as it was before, undisturbed by the outside world.

No sound penetrated the ominous silence, and the minutes continued to pass like hours. In the depths of his heart, festering like a disease, the seeds of hate took root and began to grow…waiting for the time when it could be set free to take revenge on the one who had stolen away what had been rightfully his.

Soon…

Her eyes fluttered closed as the surroundings seemed to fade away. Nothing else mattered; nothing else existed, except him...and the foreign sensations he was making her feel. Gentle and achingly sweet, the kiss seemed to last an eternity. She was being sucked into a whirlpool of powerful emotions, and all her confusion, her anxiety and grief…as well as a thousand other unexplored, unacknowledged feelings broke free. Somewhere along the line, she unconsciously began to respond…

A soft golden glow surrounded them, flaring outwards for a fraction of a second before fading. In that moment in time, between one heartbeat and the next, Miaka felt the same surge of power which had wrapped around her when she had almost drowned in the palace pond…the same familiar power which she somehow knew from another time and place—

Abruptly, Nakago pulled away from her, leaving her dazed. Her knees felt weak and unsteady, threatening to give way under her weight, as if she was someone who was just learning how to walk. She slowly lifted her head to stare blankly at him in bewilderment; instinctively raising a hand to touch her lips, swollen from his kiss…

A veil seemed to have dropped over Nakago's features, and his face was perfectly expressionless, but somehow she could tell that he was…surprised. Off-balance. She couldn't have said how or why she knew, she just…did.

Before either of them could say anything, there was a brilliant flash of light and a puff of smoke, heralding the arrival of Taiitsukun, the being who presided over the universe of the four gods. The ugly old woman stared at the two of them, scrutinising first Miaka, then turning her attention to Nicholas; paying not the slightest heed to the swearing coming from behind the nearby undergrowth or the bandits who tumbled out shortly thereafter.

"Tai—Taiitsukun!" Miaka stammered, starting to blush furiously under the old woman's intense scrutiny, wanting nothing more than to crawl under a rock and die from embarrassment.

"Miaka," the old witch said, pausing long enough send a withering glare at the loudly cursing orange-haired bandit who had fallen out of the shrubbery, "If your seishi can just SHUT UP for a minute, I have something important to tell you."

"Something important to tell me?" the girl repeated dumbly, not even noticing that the sound from Tasuki had been suddenly and miraculously cut off as Kouji helpfully clamped a hand over the flame-haired seishi's mouth and a few other bandits restrained the irate man who was glaring hatefully at Nicholas.

"Not just you actually…it concerns him as well," Taiitsukun looked towards Nicholas, meeting his cool stare squarely, not in the least intimidated by the tall, impassive blonde. She scowled at him, "Oh stop it! You're not fooling anyone by hiding behind that expressionless mask! Not even Miaka!" she snapped impatiently.

Nicholas' eyes narrowed, and the muscles in his jaw tightened, but he did not say anything in retaliation.

The wizened old woman cleared her throat authoritatively, "Well, it took you two long enough to get here."

Miaka was confused, her gaze going from Taiitsukun to Nakago, who seemed to be studiously ignoring her, before going back to the old woman. "Here?"

"Would you stop repeating everything I say! Yes, HERE. As in getting to the stage where the bond you share with him," Taiitsukun casually pointed in Nakago's direction, "became fully activated."

"NANI?" The outraged yell came from several people, namely, all the uninvited spectators who happened to be eavesdropping on the conversation. Was it a trick of light, or had even Nakago paled slightly? Miaka stared at the entity in front of her in disbelief. "What…bond?" she asked weakly.

The old witch smiled slyly, "Why don't you ask him? This bond has been enabling him to feel what you feel."

Miaka gasped, To feel what I feel? It took her a second to comprehend the meaning of Taiitsukun's words. All the colour drained from her face as feelings of shock and abject horror swirled around her as the implications of the realisation hit her full force. She was so caught up in the storm of her own emotions that she did not notice the blonde man across from her clenching his fists as he tensed, his breath escaping involuntarily in a small, sharp hiss…almost as if he was in pain. Soon however, the horror turned into full-fledged anger as she whipped her head around to face Nakago, "When were you planning to tell me this?" she began in a low, dangerous voice. "Were you even going to tell me at all? HOW COULD YOU INVADE MY PRIVACY LIKE THAT!" The volume of her voice increased with every word she uttered until she was practically screaming at him.

"If I had ignored them, you would be dead by now," Nakago's deep voice was deceptively calm, but there was an unmistakable undertone of repressed anger.

"IIE! YOU'RE LYING!" The words were out of her mouth before she realised that something was very wrong. Why was everyone looking at her like that? Even Tasuki was staring at her with his jaw hanging open, as if she were some sort of freak…

Her mind rapidly replayed the last few seconds again, trying to pinpoint what had gone wrong. She had accused Nakago of looking into her heart without permission, and then, he had said that—

OH CRAP…

(Really? Whatever in the world tipped you off, Suzaku no Miko?)

The remark was caustic, every word dripping with sarcasm. He was back to addressing her by her full title…he had not called her that since they had become friends. He was frustrated and angry, and the cold, deliberate formality had been calculated to hurt. Nakago's lips had not moved in all the time she'd been looking at him, not even when he had replied to her accusation. She had heard him, not with her ears, but with her mind…

HE was in her head.

She felt something inside her begin to crack under the strain. Me being able to hear NAKAGO in my head? I really AM going crazy! It was the only plausible reason she could come up with. Suddenly, she had the strangest urge to start laughing hysterically and never stop. Everything was becoming too funny for words. In fact, this just HAD to be the biggest joke in the history of the universe—…She had to be hallucinating now, because she thought she saw a look of alarm flashing through Nakago's eyes. That couldn't be possible, could it? When had Nakago ever been unnerved by anything?

"Miaka!" Taiitsukun ordered sharply, cutting through her rambling thoughts, "Get a hold of yourself!"

The stern voice jerked her back to reality, her wide, panicked hazel eyes snapping up to focus on the being floating in mid-air in front of her. She looked stricken for a second, then without warning, her legs buckled under her. However, just before she hit the ground, her fall was cushioned by Tasuki, who had struggled free of the other bandits' restraining hold and lunged towards her with inhuman speed. He wrapped his arms tightly around her. Her skin felt so frighteningly cold…as if all the warmth had somehow been leeched from her.

"Why is this…happening to me? To…us?" she managed to whisper hoarsely, her eyes pleading for an explanation. To anyone who was watching, she looked incredibly pale and fragile, as though she had been through some kind of extensive and elaborate torture session and then a very prolonged illness.

Tasuki hugged her close to him, trying his best to convey whatever warmth and comfort he could. Miaka was one of the most resilient people he knew, but at the moment, she was teetering on the brink of her sanity. He gritted his teeth angrily, Dammit! She can't take much more of this! He glared at Taiitsukun and then at Nakago, hating them for doing this to her—…whatever it was they were doing.

Taiitsukun sighed, her stern face softening as she regarded the trembling girl in front of her. She did not envy what the Suzaku no Miko was going through…and the challenges she had yet to face. However, it was not her place to reveal anything concerning the future. She had to let them discover their own destiny… and the story was just beginning to play out. "Perhaps it was wrong of me not to explain the nature of this bond to you first," she said almost gently, her gaze flicking over to glance at the blonde man who played as big a part in the grand scheme of things as the russet-haired miko.

"This bond you two share is the direct result of what happened when you fought Tenkou. Miaka, you were able to call Suzaku only because Nakago added his power to yours. Because of this, the moment Suzaku was summoned, a bond was created between both your souls," she paused, and addressed Nicholas directly, "It was this bond which led you to her in your world…and also allowed you to know when she was in danger." Taiitsukun stared meaningfully at the silent blonde man, "You know I speak the truth."

"It was you," Miaka said suddenly, the words barely audible. That power I felt, pulling me back, giving me strength when I almost drowned, and just now—…that's why it seemed so familiar…the power was his! His…presence. I felt it when I was summoning Suzaku that time… She stared up at Nicholas from the protective circle of Tasuki's arms, eyes dark and haunted in her pale face, "It was you all along…"

(I…felt you.) she thought at him tiredly.

She knew that he understood what she was talking about. After all, he could now read her every thought…There was no outward change in his demeanour, but she felt him give a wordless mental acknowledgment even though she could almost taste his unwillingness to accept the idea.

Everyone stared at the girl and the blonde man in confusion, suspecting that they were missing a large part of the conversation.

The thick silence was broken by a less-than-polite cough from Taiitsukun as she continued, "The link has mostly been dormant up to now, only working when one of you is in danger. However, the intensity of the…contact both of you shared just now has fully activated it."

No sooner had the old woman finished talking, Miaka lurched to her feet, startling Tasuki and causing him to topple backwards. A bright red aura flared around her, and her expressive hazel eyes glittered angrily, as she pointed an accusing finger at Nakago. Her fighting spirit had returned, and there was going to be hell to pay.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS IF YOU HADN'T…IF YOU HADN'T DONE THAT!" she lashed out at him, shrieking at him both out loud and mentally, simultaneously channelling all her pent-up anger, confusion and frustration at him. Her throat hurt from all the yelling she was doing, but she didn't care. She felt a sense of cruel satisfaction when Nakago flinched almost imperceptibly at the dual assault. Perhaps this telepathic and empathic link they now had the misfortune of sharing did have its uses after all…

In the next instant, Nakago directed a scathing glare at her. His blue eyes had turned almost completely silver, and he seemed to stare right through her. Miaka gasped, taking a step back as he forcefully pushed—…no, shoved her out of his mind and slammed a mental door in her face.

She blinked in disbelief at the almost-physical sensation. Somehow, he had managed to erect a mental shield of sorts to protect himself from her psychic onslaught. She had not known that he was capable of such a thing. It put her at a very obvious disadvantage.

(DAMN YOU! I HATE YOU! JERK!) she thought vehemently at him, visibly shaking in fury when he took no notice. It isn't fair! IT'S NOT FAIR!

"Life is never fair. Get used to it," Nicholas felt his lips to twist into an icy sneer as they both realised that he had the ability to bar her from his thoughts at will, but she could not hide any of hers from him. She might be the legendary Priestess of Suzaku, but his mind was still far superior to hers. We've certainly had enough unpleasant surprises for one day…Maybe things are finally starting to look up, his mental voice stated with fatalistic amusement.

He abruptly turned on his heel and walked away from her, feeling her enraged glare searing into the back of his skull; knowing without having to look, that she was clenching her fists so tightly that the delicate nails were digging into the soft skin of her palms and threatening to draw blood. A small part of him hoped against hope that if he left now, perhaps the last half hour or so would be erased as if it had never happened…that he would suddenly wake up and discover that this was all a bad dream.

He was terribly tired…Tired of being a part of this entire farce, of even being inside the Book of the Four Gods. He had never asked to be involved in all this, and was beginning to wish that he had never met the Suzaku no Miko. Ever.

At the moment, he doubted that he had the patience required to put up with anyone who was currently present…especially her. He had other things to worry about—like his own mental well-being—and he didn't particularly care if she did manage to draw blood. If the Suzaku no Miko wanted to hurt herself, that was her own problem. He didn't want to care.

And so he chose not to.

He knew she wasn't asleep, although she was doing a very good job of pretending.

She was also staying as far away from him as she could get, which suited him just fine. He had no intention of peeking into her mind anyway…He had absolutely no idea where she had gotten the impression that he would try to pry into every thought passing through that little head of hers. Really.

He sighed inwardly. Once he had given himself a chance to analyse the situation carefully, he realised that it had been unfair of him to be angry at her. In fact, this bond they now shared had come about as a result of the decisions HE had made. He had chosen to help her summon Suzaku, although there was no way he could have anticipated the after-effects of that course of action. And then there was the little matter of what he had just done…

There really wasn't anyone he could blame except himself. He should never have kissed her.

Nicholas frowned, wondering what had possessed him to even do such a thing, other than rankling the Suzaku seishi and the bandits who had been spying on them. He had not thought of the possible consequences before he had acted, and it was very unlike him to be impulsive. What was I even thinking, pulling a stunt like that? Now, because of his lapse in judgment, they were paying the price. Both of them.

What he still could not figure out was his reaction to Miaka. It had been surprising, to put it mildly. It wasn't as if he was inexperienced with women, and she was just…well…her, the girl he had always known as the Suzaku no Miko. Determined, forgiving, compassionate…and a monumental pain in the ass.

However, when he had felt her lips part under his own, the urge to deepen the kiss had almost been overwhelming. Why? It couldn't possibly have been the kiss itself, because it certainly was not the first time he had kissed her, although she did have the softest lips he had ever encountered, and she tasted like strawberries…

Thankfully, he had pulled away before he had done anything that he could have ended up regretting… not that he wasn't already sorely regretting the entire incident. He was walking a very thin, very dangerous line, and would probably get into a lot of trouble if he tried anything like that like that outside the Shijintenchisho. Getting arrested on a charge of teenage sexual harassment was not among his plans for the near future. Nicholas smiled mirthlessly at the thought. He definitely did not need a complication like that in his life.

As if a soul bond with the Suzaku no Miko, of all people, wasn't enough of a complication…

No one had thought to ask and Taiitsukun had not mentioned anything about the last aspect of having a bond of this nature, but Nicholas knew something that the others did not. No wonder her chi-barrier had no effect on me earlier. What he and Miaka shared went far beyond a mere psychic link. They would have to learn to live with the fact that they shared a part of each other's soul…Because the only way to sever the bond would be for one of us to die.

He was by no means happy about it, but there was very little he could do. Till death do us part…How nice, he mused bitterly.

He closed his eyes, the unfamiliar strain of constantly having to guard his thoughts from her was very taxing. In addition, having to carry her earlier; the encounters with her annoying seishi and the bandits…all that had served to deplete his energy and erode away his emotional reserve. He knew that he desperately needed some sleep, or else he would probably end up losing his temper and maiming someone before they even reached Kutou.

Miaka cautiously opened her eyes and sat up, warily looking over at the blonde man from beside a snoring Tasuki. The bandit had not said anything about what he had seen, but he had been glowering at Nakago throughout the entire evening; his hands wrapped so tightly around his tessen that the knuckles had turned white.

Nakago appeared to be asleep, although she was not entirely sure. His eyes were closed, and his back was against a tree. He had put his shirt back on, for that, she was grateful. It occurred to her that she had never actually had the chance to study him while he was asleep…He was always awake when she woke up and he always stayed up longer than she did. Her gaze was drawn to his face; now relaxed in sleep. He looked younger, his features losing the customary hard edge they usually had when he was awake.

Don't stare at him like that! she scolded herself sternly. He got both of us into this whole stupid mess, and I should be mad at him for what he did! The jerk USED me to freak Tasuki out!

Every detail of their kiss was permanently etched into her memory; how his warm lips had brushed against hers, first gently, then more deliberately. She ground her teeth together in agitation. Just when she thought she had their complex and extremely unconventional relationship figured out, he had to throw the proverbial spanner in the works and do THAT. He had effectively sent her emotions into a tailspin, and she was furious at him for doing it simply to shock Tasuki. His twisted version of a practical joke had succeeded without a doubt, but as usual, it had been entirely at her expense. She was angry at Tasuki as well, for spying on them in the first place…

…and lastly, she was angry at her own foolishness, for allowing herself to be caught in such a situation; for letting it affect her like this; and for not following her instincts when they had told her to retreat when she'd had the chance.

Why was she letting a simple kiss tie her up in knots? It wasn't the first time Nakago had kissed her, and it certainly wasn't the most sincere kiss she had ever received. She searched her heart, feeling like she had somehow betrayed Tamahome. She was quite sure that she still loved him, but the knowledge only gave her a small measure of cold comfort. Why was she having all these strange feelings? Towards…Nakago?

What's happening to me?

She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, squeezing her eyes shut. A bond…Taiitsukun said our souls were connected. Maybe all these…feelings are because of this bond, she reasoned. Surely it was nothing more complicated than that. The thought calmed her troubled mind, and she felt some of the tension leaving her body.

She opened her eyes, glaring daggers at Nakago, wishing that she could work up the nerve to just walk over and kick him, preferably somewhere which would hurt a great deal and permanently damage something...like his ability to procreate.

Damn the inconsiderate, arrogant, INFURIATING, INSUFFERABLE BAKA!

she fumed silently. Everyone needed a hobby, but HE seemed to have made it his goal in life to keep her perpetually off-balance. Trust him to confuse her without even trying. The Powers That Be just HAD to reincarnate him with every single one of his evil personality traits fully intact, didn't they? I bet they did it just to make my life miserable!

Miaka buried her face in her hands and sighed. She just wanted forget all this ever happened and go home with Keisuke and Tamahome…She wanted so much to see Yui again and go back to being just a normal girl with a normal life…was that too much to ask for?

Lying down on her side, she curled into a foetal ball, trying to rock herself to sleep like she had done when she'd been a little girl.

She welcomed the fitful sleep which finally came upon her; needing to escape—if only for a little while—from the tangle of thoughts and emotions which so confused and tormented her.

A single thought flitted at the edges of her tired mind just before she slipped into unconsciousness. Half-formed and indistinct, it was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

What would it be like…to be loved by him?

Notes:

1) And in the aftermath...Finally, the answer to some of the questions which have been floating around, like: (i) Why Nakago was able to sense Miaka's emotions in earlier chapters, (ii) What was the energy which Miaka found so familiar when she was drowning, (iii) Who was spying on them, and... (iv) Why Nicholas/Nakago was able to pass through Miaka's psychic barrier. Whew!

2) Poor Miaka, finding out that she's now bonded to the one guy who confuses the hell out of her and drives her up the wall. Her subconscious mind, on the other hand...(looks innocently at the last sentence of this chapter and smirks evilly) You and me both, sister!