Disclaimer: Lyrics as sung by Boyzone.

Baby Can I Hold You

'Sorry' is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like 'I'm sorry'

She won't say. Or can't. One way or the other, the words don't come out of her, and I honestly don't know what to think. It does hurt, and I'm not too sure of what to think of that.

But her actions often speak volumes. I can tell that a lot of the times she wants to say them. She could look at me with her clear, light blue eyes, and she'll tell me that she's sorry. But not with words. Just with gentle caresses and soft kisses.

A lot of times I don't know what exactly she's apologising for. Having had an affair during our marriage. Or having fallen in love with another man. Or having disappeared for four years with barely a goodbye. Or maybe for having hurt me.

I do know why she won't say the words though. Because, to her, it would seem as if she was regretting having ever done what she did. And I know that she doesn't. Not for one moment. She had loved him with all of her heart. She still does.

She won't say 'I'm sorry' because her son is the most important person in her life, and she would never apologise for having brought him into the world. Her son. Their son. Colby Christopher Jericho.

'Forgive me' is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like 'Forgive me'

Although she's never asked for it, I've forgiven her. How could I not? Without her I would never have become the man I am now. For the first time since I can remember, I'm truly happy with myself.

I know it may sound a little hokey, but she taught me the importance of having someone to love. In our first couple of years of marriage I had fallen in love with her. But then I had pushed her away, and when she eventually did leave, I was devastated. The pain was indescribable. But it didn't compare to the sense of loss I felt for the first time in my life. I had taken for granted the thought that she would always be there.

When she was gone, I was just…lost. I had foolishly convinced myself that despite the way I treated her, she would somehow always be there for me. Then, she wasn't. I had always been comforted by the fact that at least she was still around, that she was in my life. And then, so suddenly, she wasn't.

Now, after all these years, she's back again. And I can see that she wants to say the words, even if only to make me feel better. To say them, if only to acknowledge what had happened between us so many years ago. What she doesn't realise is that she was already forgiven, a long time ago.

But you can say 'Baby…
'Baby, can I hold you tonight'
Baby if I told you the right words
Oh, at the right time
You'd be mine

She'll often ask me to just hold her, and I always do. Late at night, when she's plagued by nightmares. Or when she can't sleep, and she's plagued by memories. She'll turn towards me, and she'll whisper the words, barely audible.

'Please hold me.'

And I always do.

I know how deeply she still misses him. Sometimes I find myself wondering if she ever wishes that it was him holding her at night, and not me. It hurts. But I don't ask. Not because I can't, but because I'm afraid of her answer, of the possible truth in her eyes.

If only things had been different from the very beginning, maybe we would never be in this current situation. Maybe if I had somehow managed to have found the right words she would never have sought comfort in the arms of another. Maybe if I had said those magic words to her, she would never have left.

Too many maybes, and too many regrets. But it's too late now. However, I refuse to make the same mistake twice. Not this time.

'I love you' is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like 'I love you'

She doesn't often say the words, but she does say them. Words that always makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world. Words that I would do anything to hear from her lips over and over again.

I know that on the rare occasions that she does say them, she truly means it. Only three little words. The only ones she does say that doesn't cheapen her memory of him.

'I love you.'

She'll say them quietly, softly. Unexpectedly. I'll look at her face, and something inside me feels the truth in her words.

She won't often say the words, but she will say them.

For me, that's enough.