Chapter 22: Destiny

Dressed in a simple white shift, she stood watching the sunset. A gentle breeze stirred the wavy russet strands of her hair as she tilted her face toward the light and felt the warmth of the fading sun's rays on her skin. She had never appreciated sunsets until…

She felt a familiar presence behind her, but did not turn around to see who it was. There was really no need to…she already knew. She had always felt a special connection with him.

He came up behind her, but did not touch her.

She sighed inwardly, feeling oddly contemplative. Things had not always been easy, but she had never regretted her decision, and the person who stood with her now had made her very happy. She did not know what she would have done without him…but perhaps there could have been another way which things could have been worked out—

"You're thinking about him," he said on no uncertain terms, the tone making it more of a statement than a question. Further elaboration was unnecessary; they both knew who he was referring to. The astute observation did not surprise her; he had always been good at sensing her thoughts and moods, but then again, he'd had numerous opportunities to practise. Still, she felt a twinge of annoyance that her thoughts were so easily decipherable…was she really that transparent?

"Hai…I was just remembering something he told me," she agreed quietly.

He did not interrupt, nor did he push her to tell him what was on her mind. All that was required was a little patience…she would tell him when she was ready. Until then, he would bide his time. He noted with silent appreciation the way the glow from the setting sun brought out the red highlights in her hair. She wasn't beautiful in the conventional way, but with her white dress, big hazel eyes and pixie-like features, she looked almost ethereal…one could mistake her for a sprite or a faerie of some sort, at least until they saw her with her food. A faint smile ghosted across his face at the whimsical thought. She had not changed much since he had met her that very first time, except that she was older now, her mind and body having matured considerably since then. Unfortunately, her eating habits had not changed...in fact, she was eating more than ever.

Taking a small step backwards, she leaned trustingly against him in a silent request to be held. He obliged her, wordlessly wrapping his arms around her waist. He had made a promise to protect her, and he fully intended to fulfil it. His arms tightened around her in an unconsciously possessive gesture as he thought about how close he'd come to losing her…and to losing this. His hands curved protectively over her slightly swollen belly. It never ceased to surprise him, how easily this intimacy came, nor could he ever quite bring himself to let go of the feeling of wonder that came with being loved by her, and once in a while, he would even privately admit that he sometimes allowed himself to bask in it.

She relaxed back against his chest, sinking deeper into the gentle, yet possessive embrace. Her face was lit with a smile of contentment…a strange child-like joy of being in love and knowing that her love was returned; at the same time it was tampered by the maturity which came from having fought hard for that contentment. All these things, he reflected, were what made her truly beautiful.

"Aishiteru," she whispered, closing her eyes.

"I know."

His voice held a tinge of subdued satisfaction. He did not say anything more, but instead brushed his lips briefly along the delicate skin of her throat, drawing a soft sigh of pleasure from her. It would be enough for now. He knew that they were not entirely alone, and he preferred to express his feelings in ways more tangible than mere words would ever be…

It was not that he didn't enjoy hearing the words from her. The emotions which were behind the words were real; they were in her voice every time she spoke to him, in her eyes every time she looked at him. No, the words were not necessary at all, he mused, but they reinforced what he already knew and what she proved to him every single day…that she was his, in all the ways that counted.

And he would do everything in his power to protect them both...she, and the child she now carried within her.

Watching discreetly from a distance, the observer found himself reliving the memories of the moment which had changed all their lives forever…both his and theirs. It had been the right thing to do, he convinced himself. Her happiness was all that mattered.

She turned to him, her eyes filled with tears. "Watashi…" she began, her voice trembling, no more than a faint whisper. He sensed that she had no idea how to tell him; she didn't want to break his heart or hurt him, he realised.

He'd silenced her then, by putting a finger to her lips, "I haven't told this to anyone…but shortly after we came back to this world, Suzaku paid me a visit. He offered to restore Tamahome's memories to me."

She gasped, her eyes widening in disbelief, "Tamahome—"

"Taka," he corrected her quietly, "My name is Taka." He smiled slightly to soften the words, trying to make her understand what he was trying to tell her. "Tamahome was the man you knew in the Book of the Four Gods, and Tamahome's memories are of loving his Suzaku no Miko, and of she loving him back." Pausing briefly in order to allow the significance of his words to sink in, he wiped away her tears with his thumb, "But the thing is, Tamahome's memories are just that…memories of the past. And it's all right to love someone else, Miaka. I'm sure Tamahome would understand…he would want you to be happy."

He took her hand and squeezed it affectionately, before giving her a gentle push in the direction the blonde man had taken, "Go after him, Miaka. Nicholas loves you." (…Enough to let you go. More than you'll ever guess. I've seen it…I know it.)

"Arigatou," she'd whispered brokenly, hugging him fiercely, overwhelming relief and hope shimmering in her hazel eyes.

She stepped away, smiling tremulously, and then, she was gone, taking off after the man she had given her heart to. Taka watched her disappear down the street, suddenly feeling a weight being lifted off his shoulders, even as the heartwrenching feelings of sadness and regret which he had been successfully hiding from her washed over him.

Taka closed his eyes. He had done the right thing, and his conscience was clear. Sighing ruefully, he wondered if he was destined to love her forever. He'd had his chance, he supposed, but he accepted the fact that it had never been met to be. Everyone had believed that he and Miaka had been fated to be together, and for a time, he had even allowed himself to believe it as well. However, the truth was that although she had been destined to be with someone from the universe of the Four Gods, that someone had not been him. He hadn't been the one whose soul had been bound to hers, and he had not been the one who had been mysteriously compelled travel halfway around the world, only to meet her again with all his memories fully intact…but most importantly, he hadn't been the one she had fallen in love with, against all odds.

The girl had almost been his, but never the young woman, whose heart was elsewhere.

He looked up and turned when he suddenly sensed the presence of another person. He wondered how long Keisuke had been standing behind him.

Miaka's brother regarded him sympathetically, brown eyes serious, "Are you all right?"

He flinched involuntarily; hearing Keisuke's unvoiced question and instinctively knowing what the other man was really asking him. "I'll live. It's been more than�three years. I keep hoping that it'll get easier with time…but now that she's—" he shook his head, stopping himself before he could blurt it out. Keisuke did not know yet, and Miaka planned to tell her brother the happy news personally. It wouldn't do to spoil her surprise, would it? he thought wearily, trying his best to ignore the incipient hurt which rose up and constricted his heart; thankfully, it wasn't as bad as the kicked-in-the-gut feeling he'd experienced when he had first found out about it.

"Ano…" Keisuke did not seem to have noticed his slip, "I never did thank you for caring enough about her to do what you did back then."

He shrugged flippantly, but his expression remained sombre, "Everyone else seemed to be doing the same thing. Both Hotohori-sama and Nakago were prepared to step aside to allow her to be with me…" He cracked a small smile in a brave attempt to lighten the mood, "I just couldn't let them prove themselves to be better men; I have my pride, you know."

"How did you know about—…" Keisuke stared at him for a long moment, sifting through the information that had been inadvertently revealed, "You didn't tell Miaka the whole truth about Suzaku giving you back your memories…You didn't tell her that you remember everything," Keisuke said slowly as understanding dawned upon him, realising the secret the other man had kept all this time, "You still love her, don't you… Tamahome?" he finally asked softly.

Tamahome's voice hardened with determination, "There was too much at stake…and I promised her once, that I would always protect her happiness,�no matter what happened." He took a deep breath, his violet eyes dark with emotion, "She needed him, but she would never have gone after him if she thought it would hurt me…so I told her what she needed to hear."

He lifted his head to stare up into the twilit sky, "I have never stopped loving her…I will always love her…" he whispered, a single tear slowly finding its way down his face. Keisuke reached out to put his hand on Tamahome's shoulder in concern, and was surprised when the dark-haired seishi turned back to face him with clear, gentle violet eyes which held no resentment or jealousy.

"…But it's okay. She loved me once, and I'll treasure the memory for as long as I live…but she loves him now, and he makes her happy. I'm still one of her seishi, and we will always be friends. No one can take that away. Besides…" Tamahome smiled slightly, a hint of mischievous humour in his gaze, "I guess I should be glad that I'm not the one who ended up with the weird brother-in-law."

-THE END-

Notes:

1) Got sucked back into Real Life for a while…Anyway, things didn't turn out quite as I planned. I never really intended Miaka and Nakago to end up together, but the story took on a life of its own, and no, I don't know what weed I was smoking when I wrote this. O.o

2) I deliberately avoided mentioning any names and kept things vague in the first part of this chapter, when Miaka is watching the sunset with her "mystery guy". It wouldn't be fun if everyone found out right away who she chose, would it? Things get clearer when everything is explained from Taka/Tamahome's POV.

3) I'm not good at writing WAFF. I'm almost as emotionally constipated as Nakago, and I would like to thank Stormlight, whose incredible stories provided a frame of reference for anything vaguely resembling WAFF in this fanfic. Arigatou! A huge thanks as well to everyone who took the time to write reviews, even if it was just to beg me to update!