Summary: When an unforeseen evil once again threatens to destroy the world,
Buffy and the gang, along with some unexpected help, join together to
release a reluctant champion from the clutches of hell. But will he be the
prophesized savior or will he destroy them all?
Notes: Contains spoilers from BtVS seasons one through three.
Feedback: Any and all comments are welcome and appreciated.
Chapter Twelve
She had woken up surprisingly relaxed late that morning. After a satisfyingly huge breakfast, armed with a note from her mother as to why Buffy was late for school that day, she made her way to her second period class. After a longer than expected pit stop at Snyder's office to deposit said note she was finally ready to face the day.
"Buffy!" Willow cried with artificial joviality from her seat by the snack machine, "look Xander, it's Buffy. Isn't it great to see Buffy?"
"Hey, Buff," Xander sounded as glib as usual, but to Buffy's attuned senses the thin note of tension in his voice was glaringly obvious. "You missed out on everything you never wanted to know about the insides of frogs and other fun filled facts this morning, you lucky dog you. Where've you been?"
She shrugged casually, maybe they'd just be able to gloss over what happened last night. After all, what was one more elephant in the room? One look at Willow's disapproving expression, though, said she'd have none of that. "Mom let me sleep in this morning, but I would've managed to get to science class on time if Snyder hadn't shot off at the mouth for so long. He even started to recycle threats and insults, I think he called me a degenerate miscreant at least twice, and I'm pretty sure he mentioned suspension more then once."
"Buffy," Willow started off, a scowl had begun to form on her pretty face.
"Is it just me or does that guy look more and more like a ghoul every day?" Xander asked, neatly deflecting Willow's pure intentions. Buffy sighed with relief, Xander didn't feel like talking about last night any more than she did. "Maybe you should ask Giles's permission to slay him? We don't want evil walking around free to do as it pleases, do we?" The usual merry twinkle in the boy's eyes was marred. By guilt, Buffy wondered, or was it accusation still?
"Xander!" Willow's scowl had matured into a full-fledged frown, which was now focused entirely on the innocent-eyed boy beside her.
"You could always ask him " Buffy replied blandly, "get him to look at you disapprovingly. He likes that. So, Will," Buffy went on quickly as the pretty redhead's eyes slowly narrowed to glare at her dangerously, "how's Oz doing?"
"He'll be fine, thanks," Willow replied from between clenched teeth. "He's got the wolf's surprise appearance thing to work on, but Giles is looking into that. Other then that we still need to hammer some things out," Buffy swallowed hard at her friend's choice of words, an angry Willow was not a pleasant Willow. "But I think we're going to be okay once we've talked," she looked at her two friends pointedly. Buffy was innocently examining her nails and Xander had bent down to take a closer look at his shoelace. "That's it!" Willow fumed, they both stared at her innocently. "You two need to talk, now!"
Buffy rose to her feet, "look, Will, I got to get my notes before third period, so maybe we could do the talking thing later?" Why did Willow insist on rehashing this delicate issue? So what if there was an elephant in the room? They could just tuck it neatly under the hideous carpeting and no one would be wiser. They didn't have to work on all their problems, did they?
"You, sit!" Willow commanded, her resolve face firmly in place. With a dejected groan Buffy obeyed, Xander concealed his smirk under a well-placed hand. "And you," she pointed at Xander, whose smirk suddenly evaporated, "are going to apologize for what you said last night." Her tone lightened slightly, but was still commanding. "You are going to work this through," she informed them, "I'm not going to let you two walk around like this. Now remember people, use 'I' statements only; 'I feel', 'I think'. And we communicate with our mouths, not with our hands," this was directed at Buffy whose face flushed slightly. Was all this really necessary? But Willow's eyes were pleading and her expression seemed to say 'no matter what he says don't hit him, you're bigger then he is'. The pretty redhead turned to leave, "you may talk now," she informed them as she strode proudly away.
Her two slack-jawed friends watched her go, then couldn't help but chuckle, "she would have made a great kindergarten teacher," Xander said.
"I was sort of thinking tyrant."
The boy frowned in thought, "mine was really both," he said. "She ruled that playground with an iron fist." They both laughed shortly, politely, after which an uncomfortable silence prevailed. "Buffy," Xander started quietly, awkwardly, "last night, after I finally got around to calm down and get at that huge foot I had lodged in my mouth, I realized just what I'd said to you." He shook his head guiltily, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those things, I shouldn't have blamed you for what Angel did. We all knew the risks when we set him free."
"You were upset," Buffy interjected. Her friend was obviously suffering for this, he was sorry, she was sorry, they could just let it go at that. "It's okay, I know you didn't mean it."
A pair of serious brown eyes lifted to look at her and Buffy miserably realized they were not going to let it go at that. "See, that's the thing, I did mean it. Not the blaming you part," he added hurriedly.
"The Angel must die part," she said softly. So Xander hated Angel, that wasn't new. Then why did her shattered heart ache so much? "Look, Xander," she said intensely, then lowered her voice to a harsh whisper as students passing by began to stare, "you don't know everything, you can't understand everything that's going on with him."
"What don't I understand?" There was an aching bitterness in his voice, but no accusation. He didn't lie when he said he didn't blame her. "That he came out of hell torn apart? That he's being manipulated by some nasty force that's healed him and done God knows what else to him? That he knows the only reason we got him out of hell in the first place is to save our asses from aforementioned nasty force? Oh I understand, I understand that he's got so much pressure coming at him from so many angles he's flying apart at the seams. Trust me, I understand perfectly."
Buffy's jaw dropped, when did Xander become Mister Perceptive? "Then why," she began.
"That's exactly why," he hissed back. "He's going out of his mind with the pressure and so far he's vented it on Willow and some kids back at the Bronze, but who knows what he's capable of? Buffy, he has no place in this world anymore, he's insane and he hurts people. That's why."
Buffy shuddered despite herself as she found herself missing her immature, obstinate and witty friend. This new, serious Xander was disconcerting. "He's supposed to save the world," she said softly, lamely.
"Only nobody has any idea how, and so far he's doing a pretty nifty job of just the opposite," Xander countered. He sighed wearily, suddenly looking like a man much older then his tender age of seventeen, "look Buffy, I've given this a lot of thought, all last night actually."
"And what have you come up with?"
"Nothing," he admitted. "It's a catch twenty-two, if we kill him the world ends, if we let him live he could end the world all by himself. The only solution is getting him under control, stabilize him somehow," he shrugged and Buffy winced internally. Too late for that, she thought morbidly. "Maybe we should get him a therapist." He grinned and suddenly he was back to being immature old Xander, "you think we could find one that specializes in recently released from hell undead?"
"I'll look it up in the yellow pages," she replied dryly. "Are we okay, Xander?" She asked, her heart in her voice.
He gave her a glowing smile, and she breathed her relief, Xander was never one to hold grudges, not towards the living, anyway. "I'm your bosom buddy," he chortled, then looked her over suggestively, "I'm buddy to your bosom. Ouch!" He cried out as she elbowed him none too delicately.
"Hey, I said words people," Willow chastised them from across the hall. Had she been eavesdropping? Buffy couldn't help but wonder, Willow's face was innocent as always, though. She looked around at the empty hallways and gave Buffy a guilty look, "looks like you're missing third period as well. We might as well go hide out in the library before Snyder gives you a rerun of his recycled threats."
"Don't forget the insults," Buffy reminded her, "he wouldn't be the Snyder we all know and try to avoid without the insults. It's okay, Will, I wanted to see Giles this morning anyway. See if he's made any progress on the Cirta-Angel thing yet."
Willow nodded as they all walked together towards the library, "oh, I almost forgot, I checked out that plague thing for you last night," she said.
"Ebola's in again?" Xander joked. "Why didn't anyone tell me? See now I have to take my bacteria proof suit to the dry cleaners, and it's always ages before they return that thing."
They ignored him. "Thing is," Willow continued, "it wasn't a plague." She swallowed hard and Buffy felt the familiar tightening in her gut. Something was very wrong. "It was Angelus," Willow finally blurted out, "him and his clan. They killed over three hundred people in one night."
The knot at the pit of her stomach grew instantly into a fist, and she felt the gall rising in her throat, "Angel?" She managed to say weakly, "are you sure?" Her stomach was churning insanely and she felt like she was about to vomit.
The pretty hacker nodded slowly, her face mirroring her concern at the Slayer's reaction. "I checked it several times, give or take a century either way, that was the only time a large number of Watchers died at about the same time." She gave her friend a puzzled look, "this happened a long time ago, Buffy. This was Angelus not Angel, he's changed since then."
"More then once," Xander muttered quietly to himself. "Say Buff, you're looking kind of green there, are you okay?"
Oh God, he'd lied to her! She shook her head slightly, but even that small motion was enough to send her nausea raging, "h-how?" She croaked.
Willow had stopped walking and was staring at her friend with worried eyes, "burning, biting, running people through with pointy things, I don't know, this happened nearly a hundred years ago! Buffy what's going on?"
"Oh God!" She managed before clasping her hand to her mouth and trotting off towards the bathroom.
Willow gave her one startled look and started after her, "go to the library," she told Xander. "Don't tell Giles," she added as an afterthought.
Willow was greeted by the uninviting sounds of retching as she stepped into the girl's bathroom. Gently she held Buffy's hair back as the Slayer surrendered to another fit. "Oh God, Will," Buffy panted.
"Wash your face," Willow instructed as she turned on a faucet, "breath."
Dazedly Buffy obeyed, she splashed cold water on her face and took several deep breaths, but that did little to calm the storm that was crashing through her. "I've made a mistake, Will," tears began flowing freely down her face. "I've made a horrible mistake and now I've lost him for nothing."
"Who have you lost?" Willow asked gently, but the Slayer was lost in a hell all her own.
"He lied to me, and I was stupid enough to believe it and now I've lost him," Buffy leaned on the sink, her arms trembling and suddenly Willow feared she would fall over, just topple to the floor and loose herself to her inner demons.
"Buffy," she said gently, her arms embracing the Slayer's slender shoulders. It was a comforting gesture, soft and light, but ready to catch the tiny Slayer should she fall. "Who lied to you?" She hoped the compassion in her voice didn't fall on deaf ears. "Who did you loose?"
"Angel," Buffy moaned, and for a moment Willow wasn't sure to which question the Slayer had answered. "I l-lied to him," she sniffed loudly, "I t-told him t-that I didn't l-love him anymore."
Willow's jaw dropped, "why did you do that?" She asked, straining to keep the shock out of her voice. This only brought on a fresh bout of tears forcing the hacker to ignore her own needs. She hugged her friend, rocking her, soothing her as her emotions raged on.
Finally the storm subsided, "I can't tell you, Will," Buffy whispered, her eyes pleading her friend to bear with her. Even if the plague part was a lie she was fairly sure that some of what Gerrico said was true, and if it was she owed Giles the effort of finding out before she confessed everything.
The two girls stood there watching each other, one silently pleading holding her breath in anticipation, the other thinking quietly to herself. There was a secret between them now, an impregnable wall that pushed them away from each other, put a strain on their friendship. Willow could refuse, they both knew, she could go to Giles with what was obviously important information and together they could get the truth out of her. Willow shook her head as she made her decision, their friendship meant more than that, it meant trust. "What now?" She asked, putting herself in Buffy's hands.
Buffy let out an explosive sigh of relief, "now we have to do this without Angel," she replied. Her voice was still shaky, but it was returning to its normal self.
"Like they did before," Willow said slowly, understanding dawning. Buffy nodded and they smiled at each other hesitantly, Buffy through her tears, Willow through her hesitation. Their friendship had suffered some blows but had survived, now they both moved warily. Willow sighed and tossed a lock of coppery hair behind one shoulder. "I guess it's research time."
Buffy's smile widened, "like that's not your favorite time."
"We all shine where we can," Willow replied piously, "not all of us can kill demons with our bare hands, some of us have to do it with aerodynamic pencils." They both laughed, relief washing over them, cleansing them.
"What do we tell Giles?" Buffy asked, turning serious again. How were they going to explain this change of heart without dealing with all the questions?
Willow shrugged, "we tell him we're looking at alternatives. We'll call it plan B."
Buffy let out a half hysterical giggle, which she could barely put a stop to as the worry in Willow's eyes registered. "And plan A is what exactly?"
Willow shrugged again, "we let him figure it out, he's been struggling with it for over a week. I should think he'd be happy for some alternatives just about now." She looked at her friend critically, "he'll never believe that everything's alright if you step out of this bathroom looking like this, though." She handed her friend a tissue as Buffy went to work on the war zone that was her face.
Buffy slammed her book shut with disgust, "sorry guys," she murmured quietly as her friends jumped at the sound. They each gave her their own personal version of a disgruntled look and went back to their reading. Buffy sighed miserably to herself, they'd been at it for several hours and other then the sketchy details they already knew there was nothing new about Cirta and the curse that had locked her up in the first place. At least Giles hadn't put up a fight when the two girls told him of their idea, he even seemed slightly relieved. Was it because this way Angel wouldn't have to be involved? Buffy couldn't help wonder, or was not finding any new information on how Angel was supposed to destroy Cirta that was finally getting to him? Either way after only the fewest of questions he sat down to help.
Xander was another matter, however. He had listened quietly as the two girls explained themselves and had then watched with growing consternation as they each did their best to avoid him. Finally he managed to corner Buffy in the stacks as she was looking for more relevant books between the dusty tomes. "All right," he had asked irritably, "what's with the 'we've got no one to depend on but ourselves' attitude, little Miss Lone Ranger?"
She looked up at him innocently from the books she was examining, "what do you mean?"
He looked down at her pointedly, "let's see. First you're all 'Angel's got to save the world and we've got to figure out how he's going to do it'." He mimicked the last in a high pitched voice, purposely ignoring the way Buffy's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Now you've got us looking for ways of destroying this Cirta chick without involving dead-boy. And, oh yeah, you manage to turn an interesting shade of green in between. Not your best color, by the way."
"Thanks," she said dryly, "I'll keep that in mind. Look," she said as she effortlessly lifted the impressive pile of books she managed to collect, "you said it yourself, it's a catch twenty two. Damned if we do and damned if we don't. Can't eat the cake and leave it whole. A bird in the..."
"Yeah, okay. Enough with the cliches already."
She gave him an impudent grin, "point is we've got to look at our options. All of them, okay?"
"Okay," he muttered, still not entirely convinced. "Say, little lady," he said blithely, attempting to lighten the mood, "can I give you a hand with that," he motioned at the pile of books she carried.
Her eyebrows lifted questioningly, but she decided to play along. "Why thank you, kind sir," she drawled, depositing her entire load into his arms. She suppressed a laugh as he nearly toppled under the weight, "speaking of complexions," she said as she turned to leave, "that shade of chalk-white," she shook her head in mock seriousness, "not your best color."
Buffy shook her head ruefully, things had seemed hopeful then, but now, several dozens of books and a great deal of dust later, she felt like throwing in the towel. The problem was most relevant books seemed to know what they were talking about, but after the first few enticing paragraphs explaining why the humans and lesser demons came together to defeat the Evil One, they generally degenerated into absolute gibberish. Several went so far as to mention the curse, but none could offer any details. Frustration was a bitterly tangible thing as she peered across the growing pile of discarded books.
At least Oz and Cordelia had joined them at some point. While a soft smile and a gentle kiss had greeted Oz, a very eager Xander ushered Cordelia, after several long moments of pretending to read a dusty book, up into the stacks. But to be fair, Buffy admitted grudgingly to herself, they had returned to the books not long after, Xander with his hair mussed and a silly grin welded to his face. Cordelia, as perfect as always with a challenging, almost defiant look in her eyes. Well, Buffy thought, whatever worked for them.
"Ooh, I think I found something!" Cordelia suddenly announced. Five pairs of tired eyes waited expectantly. "Yep, I definitely found something," she went on without lifting her eyes from her book. "It has everything about the curse in here," her voice almost bounced with excitement. "It even tells how, oh. Oh!"
"What is it, Cordelia?" Giles asked as he reached to take the book from the suddenly pallid girl.
"Oh no," Cordelia murmured as the Watcher began to read quietly to himself. She stared at her friends, her eyes wide and more terrified then Buffy had ever seen them, "we can't do this!" She choked, "this is not a plan B. Plan B involves living to tell all about how plan A wouldn't do what it was supposed to. This plan B won't work that way." She gestured wildly at the book the librarian was trying to read, "i-it has a lot of very bad things to say about plan B. I really think we should be sticking to plan A, just gloss right over plan B. We'd be happier that way, and with a much stronger pulse, believe me."
Giles looked at the book in his hands with wonder, "I didn't even know I had this," he murmured wonderingly to himself. "It's an authentic translation of a first hand account of someone who actually witnessed the cursing. This person was truly there, he saw it all come to be."
"Care to share," Xander inquired a bit pointedly. He had his arms wrapped around his agitated girlfriend, who was still shaking her head and staring at the offending book in Giles's hands as if it had just bitten her. "What does it say?"
"Oh yes, quite. I merely wished to be sure you all comprehended the significance of this artifact," Giles said defensively. "And when we finally understood the task which befell upon us and our responsibility to see it through," Giles read as they glared at him impatiently. "We at last came together to fulfill our purpose. We gathered, demon and humankind alike, in the greatest square, in the greatest of all cities built by the slaves called man. As one we spoke the curse that would lock Evil forever from our lives, and as we spoke the condemning words she destroyed us still. A full half fell at the start, both man and demon, their wills crushed beyond repair. Another quarter went mad to sights and sounds only they could see and hear. But the rest of us spoke on, our wills free as our bodies had never been, our hearts, beating or still, demanded retribution. For on this day either she or we would perish." Giles stopped reading, his face pale and his hands trembling slightly, "I believe Cordelia is right, this solution is unacceptable."
"That's it?" Willow asked, her voice oddly hollow, "that's all it says?"
The distressed librarian shook his head, "there's more, but there's really no point to reading this since we won't be using it."
"I think we should know what we're up against, Giles," Buffy said quietly. "Whatever we end up doing we should know what she's capable of, just how strong she is."
Reluctantly Giles nodded, but he paused to take a deep, soothing breath before reading on. "We were left with naught but a quarter of those who had started, but our hearts held strong even as those we knew perished around us. We spoke on, our lips never faltering, the words rising clearly from our throats, for the simplest of errors meant death for the unfortunate who wavered. As we spoke we felt her power engulfing us, lashing out at random as she weakened, but even then her terrifying minions cut through our ranks as though we were nothing more substantial then air. I am shamed, for I could bear no longer to stand among the rebels, and I fled still speaking the words lest I too perish. And as I watched from a hill above the great city, my mouth still furiously spitting dread words, the city burned with flames that reached the clouds, bringing to all that lived within a fiery death. Yes, only I, a coward by nature, remained to spread the tale amongst the lesser cities of man and minor demons that they were, at last, truly free."
"We can't do this," Oz said, his quiet voice shattering the silence that had engulfed the room. He had been quiet since he joined them, well quieter than usual, but now his voice reflected what was on all of their minds. "We can't subject anyone to this."
"He's right," Willow admitted, exchanging a long look with the pale Slayer. "We've got to find another way."
"Um, excuse me," Cordelia chimed in, the evidence of her ordeal still carved across her features, "do you mind if we get back to plan A now?"
Giles opened his mouth, but the Englishman's reply died on his lips as the earthquake hit.
Notes: Contains spoilers from BtVS seasons one through three.
Feedback: Any and all comments are welcome and appreciated.
Chapter Twelve
She had woken up surprisingly relaxed late that morning. After a satisfyingly huge breakfast, armed with a note from her mother as to why Buffy was late for school that day, she made her way to her second period class. After a longer than expected pit stop at Snyder's office to deposit said note she was finally ready to face the day.
"Buffy!" Willow cried with artificial joviality from her seat by the snack machine, "look Xander, it's Buffy. Isn't it great to see Buffy?"
"Hey, Buff," Xander sounded as glib as usual, but to Buffy's attuned senses the thin note of tension in his voice was glaringly obvious. "You missed out on everything you never wanted to know about the insides of frogs and other fun filled facts this morning, you lucky dog you. Where've you been?"
She shrugged casually, maybe they'd just be able to gloss over what happened last night. After all, what was one more elephant in the room? One look at Willow's disapproving expression, though, said she'd have none of that. "Mom let me sleep in this morning, but I would've managed to get to science class on time if Snyder hadn't shot off at the mouth for so long. He even started to recycle threats and insults, I think he called me a degenerate miscreant at least twice, and I'm pretty sure he mentioned suspension more then once."
"Buffy," Willow started off, a scowl had begun to form on her pretty face.
"Is it just me or does that guy look more and more like a ghoul every day?" Xander asked, neatly deflecting Willow's pure intentions. Buffy sighed with relief, Xander didn't feel like talking about last night any more than she did. "Maybe you should ask Giles's permission to slay him? We don't want evil walking around free to do as it pleases, do we?" The usual merry twinkle in the boy's eyes was marred. By guilt, Buffy wondered, or was it accusation still?
"Xander!" Willow's scowl had matured into a full-fledged frown, which was now focused entirely on the innocent-eyed boy beside her.
"You could always ask him " Buffy replied blandly, "get him to look at you disapprovingly. He likes that. So, Will," Buffy went on quickly as the pretty redhead's eyes slowly narrowed to glare at her dangerously, "how's Oz doing?"
"He'll be fine, thanks," Willow replied from between clenched teeth. "He's got the wolf's surprise appearance thing to work on, but Giles is looking into that. Other then that we still need to hammer some things out," Buffy swallowed hard at her friend's choice of words, an angry Willow was not a pleasant Willow. "But I think we're going to be okay once we've talked," she looked at her two friends pointedly. Buffy was innocently examining her nails and Xander had bent down to take a closer look at his shoelace. "That's it!" Willow fumed, they both stared at her innocently. "You two need to talk, now!"
Buffy rose to her feet, "look, Will, I got to get my notes before third period, so maybe we could do the talking thing later?" Why did Willow insist on rehashing this delicate issue? So what if there was an elephant in the room? They could just tuck it neatly under the hideous carpeting and no one would be wiser. They didn't have to work on all their problems, did they?
"You, sit!" Willow commanded, her resolve face firmly in place. With a dejected groan Buffy obeyed, Xander concealed his smirk under a well-placed hand. "And you," she pointed at Xander, whose smirk suddenly evaporated, "are going to apologize for what you said last night." Her tone lightened slightly, but was still commanding. "You are going to work this through," she informed them, "I'm not going to let you two walk around like this. Now remember people, use 'I' statements only; 'I feel', 'I think'. And we communicate with our mouths, not with our hands," this was directed at Buffy whose face flushed slightly. Was all this really necessary? But Willow's eyes were pleading and her expression seemed to say 'no matter what he says don't hit him, you're bigger then he is'. The pretty redhead turned to leave, "you may talk now," she informed them as she strode proudly away.
Her two slack-jawed friends watched her go, then couldn't help but chuckle, "she would have made a great kindergarten teacher," Xander said.
"I was sort of thinking tyrant."
The boy frowned in thought, "mine was really both," he said. "She ruled that playground with an iron fist." They both laughed shortly, politely, after which an uncomfortable silence prevailed. "Buffy," Xander started quietly, awkwardly, "last night, after I finally got around to calm down and get at that huge foot I had lodged in my mouth, I realized just what I'd said to you." He shook his head guiltily, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those things, I shouldn't have blamed you for what Angel did. We all knew the risks when we set him free."
"You were upset," Buffy interjected. Her friend was obviously suffering for this, he was sorry, she was sorry, they could just let it go at that. "It's okay, I know you didn't mean it."
A pair of serious brown eyes lifted to look at her and Buffy miserably realized they were not going to let it go at that. "See, that's the thing, I did mean it. Not the blaming you part," he added hurriedly.
"The Angel must die part," she said softly. So Xander hated Angel, that wasn't new. Then why did her shattered heart ache so much? "Look, Xander," she said intensely, then lowered her voice to a harsh whisper as students passing by began to stare, "you don't know everything, you can't understand everything that's going on with him."
"What don't I understand?" There was an aching bitterness in his voice, but no accusation. He didn't lie when he said he didn't blame her. "That he came out of hell torn apart? That he's being manipulated by some nasty force that's healed him and done God knows what else to him? That he knows the only reason we got him out of hell in the first place is to save our asses from aforementioned nasty force? Oh I understand, I understand that he's got so much pressure coming at him from so many angles he's flying apart at the seams. Trust me, I understand perfectly."
Buffy's jaw dropped, when did Xander become Mister Perceptive? "Then why," she began.
"That's exactly why," he hissed back. "He's going out of his mind with the pressure and so far he's vented it on Willow and some kids back at the Bronze, but who knows what he's capable of? Buffy, he has no place in this world anymore, he's insane and he hurts people. That's why."
Buffy shuddered despite herself as she found herself missing her immature, obstinate and witty friend. This new, serious Xander was disconcerting. "He's supposed to save the world," she said softly, lamely.
"Only nobody has any idea how, and so far he's doing a pretty nifty job of just the opposite," Xander countered. He sighed wearily, suddenly looking like a man much older then his tender age of seventeen, "look Buffy, I've given this a lot of thought, all last night actually."
"And what have you come up with?"
"Nothing," he admitted. "It's a catch twenty-two, if we kill him the world ends, if we let him live he could end the world all by himself. The only solution is getting him under control, stabilize him somehow," he shrugged and Buffy winced internally. Too late for that, she thought morbidly. "Maybe we should get him a therapist." He grinned and suddenly he was back to being immature old Xander, "you think we could find one that specializes in recently released from hell undead?"
"I'll look it up in the yellow pages," she replied dryly. "Are we okay, Xander?" She asked, her heart in her voice.
He gave her a glowing smile, and she breathed her relief, Xander was never one to hold grudges, not towards the living, anyway. "I'm your bosom buddy," he chortled, then looked her over suggestively, "I'm buddy to your bosom. Ouch!" He cried out as she elbowed him none too delicately.
"Hey, I said words people," Willow chastised them from across the hall. Had she been eavesdropping? Buffy couldn't help but wonder, Willow's face was innocent as always, though. She looked around at the empty hallways and gave Buffy a guilty look, "looks like you're missing third period as well. We might as well go hide out in the library before Snyder gives you a rerun of his recycled threats."
"Don't forget the insults," Buffy reminded her, "he wouldn't be the Snyder we all know and try to avoid without the insults. It's okay, Will, I wanted to see Giles this morning anyway. See if he's made any progress on the Cirta-Angel thing yet."
Willow nodded as they all walked together towards the library, "oh, I almost forgot, I checked out that plague thing for you last night," she said.
"Ebola's in again?" Xander joked. "Why didn't anyone tell me? See now I have to take my bacteria proof suit to the dry cleaners, and it's always ages before they return that thing."
They ignored him. "Thing is," Willow continued, "it wasn't a plague." She swallowed hard and Buffy felt the familiar tightening in her gut. Something was very wrong. "It was Angelus," Willow finally blurted out, "him and his clan. They killed over three hundred people in one night."
The knot at the pit of her stomach grew instantly into a fist, and she felt the gall rising in her throat, "Angel?" She managed to say weakly, "are you sure?" Her stomach was churning insanely and she felt like she was about to vomit.
The pretty hacker nodded slowly, her face mirroring her concern at the Slayer's reaction. "I checked it several times, give or take a century either way, that was the only time a large number of Watchers died at about the same time." She gave her friend a puzzled look, "this happened a long time ago, Buffy. This was Angelus not Angel, he's changed since then."
"More then once," Xander muttered quietly to himself. "Say Buff, you're looking kind of green there, are you okay?"
Oh God, he'd lied to her! She shook her head slightly, but even that small motion was enough to send her nausea raging, "h-how?" She croaked.
Willow had stopped walking and was staring at her friend with worried eyes, "burning, biting, running people through with pointy things, I don't know, this happened nearly a hundred years ago! Buffy what's going on?"
"Oh God!" She managed before clasping her hand to her mouth and trotting off towards the bathroom.
Willow gave her one startled look and started after her, "go to the library," she told Xander. "Don't tell Giles," she added as an afterthought.
Willow was greeted by the uninviting sounds of retching as she stepped into the girl's bathroom. Gently she held Buffy's hair back as the Slayer surrendered to another fit. "Oh God, Will," Buffy panted.
"Wash your face," Willow instructed as she turned on a faucet, "breath."
Dazedly Buffy obeyed, she splashed cold water on her face and took several deep breaths, but that did little to calm the storm that was crashing through her. "I've made a mistake, Will," tears began flowing freely down her face. "I've made a horrible mistake and now I've lost him for nothing."
"Who have you lost?" Willow asked gently, but the Slayer was lost in a hell all her own.
"He lied to me, and I was stupid enough to believe it and now I've lost him," Buffy leaned on the sink, her arms trembling and suddenly Willow feared she would fall over, just topple to the floor and loose herself to her inner demons.
"Buffy," she said gently, her arms embracing the Slayer's slender shoulders. It was a comforting gesture, soft and light, but ready to catch the tiny Slayer should she fall. "Who lied to you?" She hoped the compassion in her voice didn't fall on deaf ears. "Who did you loose?"
"Angel," Buffy moaned, and for a moment Willow wasn't sure to which question the Slayer had answered. "I l-lied to him," she sniffed loudly, "I t-told him t-that I didn't l-love him anymore."
Willow's jaw dropped, "why did you do that?" She asked, straining to keep the shock out of her voice. This only brought on a fresh bout of tears forcing the hacker to ignore her own needs. She hugged her friend, rocking her, soothing her as her emotions raged on.
Finally the storm subsided, "I can't tell you, Will," Buffy whispered, her eyes pleading her friend to bear with her. Even if the plague part was a lie she was fairly sure that some of what Gerrico said was true, and if it was she owed Giles the effort of finding out before she confessed everything.
The two girls stood there watching each other, one silently pleading holding her breath in anticipation, the other thinking quietly to herself. There was a secret between them now, an impregnable wall that pushed them away from each other, put a strain on their friendship. Willow could refuse, they both knew, she could go to Giles with what was obviously important information and together they could get the truth out of her. Willow shook her head as she made her decision, their friendship meant more than that, it meant trust. "What now?" She asked, putting herself in Buffy's hands.
Buffy let out an explosive sigh of relief, "now we have to do this without Angel," she replied. Her voice was still shaky, but it was returning to its normal self.
"Like they did before," Willow said slowly, understanding dawning. Buffy nodded and they smiled at each other hesitantly, Buffy through her tears, Willow through her hesitation. Their friendship had suffered some blows but had survived, now they both moved warily. Willow sighed and tossed a lock of coppery hair behind one shoulder. "I guess it's research time."
Buffy's smile widened, "like that's not your favorite time."
"We all shine where we can," Willow replied piously, "not all of us can kill demons with our bare hands, some of us have to do it with aerodynamic pencils." They both laughed, relief washing over them, cleansing them.
"What do we tell Giles?" Buffy asked, turning serious again. How were they going to explain this change of heart without dealing with all the questions?
Willow shrugged, "we tell him we're looking at alternatives. We'll call it plan B."
Buffy let out a half hysterical giggle, which she could barely put a stop to as the worry in Willow's eyes registered. "And plan A is what exactly?"
Willow shrugged again, "we let him figure it out, he's been struggling with it for over a week. I should think he'd be happy for some alternatives just about now." She looked at her friend critically, "he'll never believe that everything's alright if you step out of this bathroom looking like this, though." She handed her friend a tissue as Buffy went to work on the war zone that was her face.
Buffy slammed her book shut with disgust, "sorry guys," she murmured quietly as her friends jumped at the sound. They each gave her their own personal version of a disgruntled look and went back to their reading. Buffy sighed miserably to herself, they'd been at it for several hours and other then the sketchy details they already knew there was nothing new about Cirta and the curse that had locked her up in the first place. At least Giles hadn't put up a fight when the two girls told him of their idea, he even seemed slightly relieved. Was it because this way Angel wouldn't have to be involved? Buffy couldn't help wonder, or was not finding any new information on how Angel was supposed to destroy Cirta that was finally getting to him? Either way after only the fewest of questions he sat down to help.
Xander was another matter, however. He had listened quietly as the two girls explained themselves and had then watched with growing consternation as they each did their best to avoid him. Finally he managed to corner Buffy in the stacks as she was looking for more relevant books between the dusty tomes. "All right," he had asked irritably, "what's with the 'we've got no one to depend on but ourselves' attitude, little Miss Lone Ranger?"
She looked up at him innocently from the books she was examining, "what do you mean?"
He looked down at her pointedly, "let's see. First you're all 'Angel's got to save the world and we've got to figure out how he's going to do it'." He mimicked the last in a high pitched voice, purposely ignoring the way Buffy's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Now you've got us looking for ways of destroying this Cirta chick without involving dead-boy. And, oh yeah, you manage to turn an interesting shade of green in between. Not your best color, by the way."
"Thanks," she said dryly, "I'll keep that in mind. Look," she said as she effortlessly lifted the impressive pile of books she managed to collect, "you said it yourself, it's a catch twenty two. Damned if we do and damned if we don't. Can't eat the cake and leave it whole. A bird in the..."
"Yeah, okay. Enough with the cliches already."
She gave him an impudent grin, "point is we've got to look at our options. All of them, okay?"
"Okay," he muttered, still not entirely convinced. "Say, little lady," he said blithely, attempting to lighten the mood, "can I give you a hand with that," he motioned at the pile of books she carried.
Her eyebrows lifted questioningly, but she decided to play along. "Why thank you, kind sir," she drawled, depositing her entire load into his arms. She suppressed a laugh as he nearly toppled under the weight, "speaking of complexions," she said as she turned to leave, "that shade of chalk-white," she shook her head in mock seriousness, "not your best color."
Buffy shook her head ruefully, things had seemed hopeful then, but now, several dozens of books and a great deal of dust later, she felt like throwing in the towel. The problem was most relevant books seemed to know what they were talking about, but after the first few enticing paragraphs explaining why the humans and lesser demons came together to defeat the Evil One, they generally degenerated into absolute gibberish. Several went so far as to mention the curse, but none could offer any details. Frustration was a bitterly tangible thing as she peered across the growing pile of discarded books.
At least Oz and Cordelia had joined them at some point. While a soft smile and a gentle kiss had greeted Oz, a very eager Xander ushered Cordelia, after several long moments of pretending to read a dusty book, up into the stacks. But to be fair, Buffy admitted grudgingly to herself, they had returned to the books not long after, Xander with his hair mussed and a silly grin welded to his face. Cordelia, as perfect as always with a challenging, almost defiant look in her eyes. Well, Buffy thought, whatever worked for them.
"Ooh, I think I found something!" Cordelia suddenly announced. Five pairs of tired eyes waited expectantly. "Yep, I definitely found something," she went on without lifting her eyes from her book. "It has everything about the curse in here," her voice almost bounced with excitement. "It even tells how, oh. Oh!"
"What is it, Cordelia?" Giles asked as he reached to take the book from the suddenly pallid girl.
"Oh no," Cordelia murmured as the Watcher began to read quietly to himself. She stared at her friends, her eyes wide and more terrified then Buffy had ever seen them, "we can't do this!" She choked, "this is not a plan B. Plan B involves living to tell all about how plan A wouldn't do what it was supposed to. This plan B won't work that way." She gestured wildly at the book the librarian was trying to read, "i-it has a lot of very bad things to say about plan B. I really think we should be sticking to plan A, just gloss right over plan B. We'd be happier that way, and with a much stronger pulse, believe me."
Giles looked at the book in his hands with wonder, "I didn't even know I had this," he murmured wonderingly to himself. "It's an authentic translation of a first hand account of someone who actually witnessed the cursing. This person was truly there, he saw it all come to be."
"Care to share," Xander inquired a bit pointedly. He had his arms wrapped around his agitated girlfriend, who was still shaking her head and staring at the offending book in Giles's hands as if it had just bitten her. "What does it say?"
"Oh yes, quite. I merely wished to be sure you all comprehended the significance of this artifact," Giles said defensively. "And when we finally understood the task which befell upon us and our responsibility to see it through," Giles read as they glared at him impatiently. "We at last came together to fulfill our purpose. We gathered, demon and humankind alike, in the greatest square, in the greatest of all cities built by the slaves called man. As one we spoke the curse that would lock Evil forever from our lives, and as we spoke the condemning words she destroyed us still. A full half fell at the start, both man and demon, their wills crushed beyond repair. Another quarter went mad to sights and sounds only they could see and hear. But the rest of us spoke on, our wills free as our bodies had never been, our hearts, beating or still, demanded retribution. For on this day either she or we would perish." Giles stopped reading, his face pale and his hands trembling slightly, "I believe Cordelia is right, this solution is unacceptable."
"That's it?" Willow asked, her voice oddly hollow, "that's all it says?"
The distressed librarian shook his head, "there's more, but there's really no point to reading this since we won't be using it."
"I think we should know what we're up against, Giles," Buffy said quietly. "Whatever we end up doing we should know what she's capable of, just how strong she is."
Reluctantly Giles nodded, but he paused to take a deep, soothing breath before reading on. "We were left with naught but a quarter of those who had started, but our hearts held strong even as those we knew perished around us. We spoke on, our lips never faltering, the words rising clearly from our throats, for the simplest of errors meant death for the unfortunate who wavered. As we spoke we felt her power engulfing us, lashing out at random as she weakened, but even then her terrifying minions cut through our ranks as though we were nothing more substantial then air. I am shamed, for I could bear no longer to stand among the rebels, and I fled still speaking the words lest I too perish. And as I watched from a hill above the great city, my mouth still furiously spitting dread words, the city burned with flames that reached the clouds, bringing to all that lived within a fiery death. Yes, only I, a coward by nature, remained to spread the tale amongst the lesser cities of man and minor demons that they were, at last, truly free."
"We can't do this," Oz said, his quiet voice shattering the silence that had engulfed the room. He had been quiet since he joined them, well quieter than usual, but now his voice reflected what was on all of their minds. "We can't subject anyone to this."
"He's right," Willow admitted, exchanging a long look with the pale Slayer. "We've got to find another way."
"Um, excuse me," Cordelia chimed in, the evidence of her ordeal still carved across her features, "do you mind if we get back to plan A now?"
Giles opened his mouth, but the Englishman's reply died on his lips as the earthquake hit.