The Greatest Stories Ever Told
By Erin Finnlaith
Disclaimer:
N – stands for Nothing, which I have in abundance
O – stands for Other people, who own Harry Potter and Monty Python
T – stands for Trial, which I hope to avoid
M – stands for Money, which I have none of
I – stands for I'm a bum without money
N – stands for Nada, which is what I am getting for writing this story
E – stands for Empty handed, which is what you'll be if you sue me
Summary: Just when you thought the world couldn't get any weirder…this happens. Hogwarts will never be the same…
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Chapter 4: Another Day at the Ministry
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(Percy Weasly and Oliver Wood (AN: Yeah I know he doesn't really work for the Ministry, but humor me…) are seated opposite each other at a desk. Between them there is a large window. It appears that they are quite high up in a large office building. Every so often a body falls past the window. They are both working busily. After a pause a body drops past the window. Percy looks startled. Oliver hasn't noticed.)
Percy: Hey, did you see that?
Oliver: (looks up) Uhm?
Percy: Did you see somebody go past the window?
Oliver: What?
Percy: Somebody just went past the window. That way. (indicates down)
Oliver: (flatly) Oh.
(Oliver shakes his head and returns to his work. Percy stares out the window for a little bit. As he starts to work again another body goes hurtling past the window.)
Percy: There! Another one! (points out the window)
Oliver: Huh?
Percy: Another one just went past downwards.
Oliver: (scratches his head) What?
Percy: Two people have just fallen out of that window to their almost certain death.
Oliver: Oh. Fine. (goes back to work)
Percy: (irritated) Look! Two people (another body falls past) three people have just fallen past that window!
Oliver: Oh. Well then, must be a board meeting.
Percy: (thinks for a minute) Oh yeah. (another falls past) Hey! That was Wilkins of finance.
Oliver: (looks out window) Oh, no, no, that was Robertson.
Percy: Wilkins.
Oliver: Robertson.
Percy: (leans over desk) Wilkins.
Oliver: (leans toward Percy) Robertson.
Percy: (standing up) Wilkins!
Oliver: (slamming fist on the desk) Robertson!
(Another falls.)
Percy: Oh, wait. That was Wilkins.
Oliver: That was Wilkins. He was a good, good, er, something, Wilkins.
Percy: Very good, um, yeah something . Very good something. Rotten at finance. It'll be Parkinson next.
Oliver: Bet you it won't.
Percy: (interested) How much?
Oliver: What?
Percy: How much do you bet it won't? Fiver?
Oliver: Never figured you for a gambler, but all right.
Percy: Done.
Oliver: You're on.
Percy: Fine. (shakes; they look at the window) Come on Parky.
Oliver: No! Don't do it Parky.
Percy: Come on Parky. Jump Parky. You know you want to.
Oliver: Come on now be sensible.
(Cut to Minister's office.)
Fudge: Hold it! I am here to complain about that sketch about people failing out of a high building. I have worked all my life in such a building and have never once.... (hand comes out of nowhere and pushes Fudge backwards) Arrgghhh! (falls out window) Splat!
(Cut back to set. Percy has his hands in the air jubilantly. Oliver looks flustered.)
Percy: It was Parkinson!
Oliver: No, Johnson!
Percy: Parkinson!
Oliver Johnson!
Percy: Parkinson!
Oliver: Johnson!
Percy: Loser!
Oliver: Cheat!
Percy: How can I cheat? It's not like I'm pushin' 'em!
Oliver:…..er, Cheat!
Percy: (sigh)
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AN: Well, that was a little strange…Hope you enjoyed it! ^_~ A HUGE thanks to all the people who have reviewed this fic! Claw, oshua, FleneBean, Kei-chan, Dru, moonshade, Galaneagra, Amara, dfgg, Ginavere, and dsaf, I love you guys! You guys are what keep me going! Stay tuned for chapter 5: Pet Shop of Insanity! Remember folks it's a reader's responsibility to review!
^_^v Please leave a contribution in the little review box! Thank you!