YEAH!!! I'm finally feeling better now!!! (All thanks to my hime's
brownies!) Well, sorry for taking so long… again… ::clears throat:: Hey,
how ya doing out there my lil groupie? ::spies her in the back hanging out
with her personal cheerleader taking a snooze:: Ahhh…
[::Akuen::]
by Lady in Red
(Shared Image of a Delusion)
Two women from two separate worlds sat together in Usagi's apartment. Neither of them had spoken a word to one another since they had left the group. Kakyuu stared absently out the window at the starlit sky as though she could see her lovers face among the stars. She turned her head to see the state that Usagi was in through all of this, knowing well enough that she probably wasn't any better off.
Usagi sat quietly on the couch and had a book opened in front of her, to Kakyuu's knowledge, she hadn't turned the page once in the hour that she had been sitting there. Usagi's mind drifted to Mamoru, unfortunately. One lie had lead to another and she was left contemplating the truths, if any of their relationship. How much of it was just bullshit and how much had he really meant?
She knew that he had to have loved her at one point, she could feel it, it was just a shame that she hadn't felt it slip away. Flashes of Mamoru came to her mind as she remembered the times they had spent when she was happy and believed that he was also. Finally an image of Mamoru plastered in a dress outside of Minako's apartment came to mind. Usagi found herself giving a small laugh to the thought but quickly pushed it aside as she felt Kakyuu looking at her. Her eyes lifted from the book to look at her onlooker. Kakyuu had indeed been looking at her but turned her head quickly when she saw Usagi turning. Could she possibly want this to work?
Turning her eyes back to her book, which she realized was upside down in the first place, she stopped questioning other people and turned the interrogation onto herself. She couldn't answer all of these questions for everyone else, but she could sit and try to answer some of her own. Could she really marry a woman? Usagi's brow furrowed. She had thought she had fallen in love with Seiya when she was here but was that only because Mamoru had told her that she liked her?
Now Usagi had no idea whether or not Mamoru had been telling the truth about any part of their Seiya conversations. Had Seiya even liked her in the first place, or was that just something Mamoru had pulled out his ass? AND… if Seiya didn't like her, did that mean that she didn't love Seiya any more? Usagi's mind ached, but her heart knew the answer. The two combated one another until she couldn't take it any more and stood up to go to bed.
Without saying a word to Kakyuu she stood from her position on the couch and walked down the hall to her bedroom, on the way she flipped the light switch of the guest room to illuminate and point out where Kakyuu could stay.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I can't believe you let them stay here with you too." Yaten huffed as she sat on the futon with her arms folded looking into the bathroom watching Minako brush her hair. Seiya had just come home and Taiki was out in the hallway talking with her, obviously so that Yaten or Minako wouldn't hear what they had to say. Maybe they were discussing other places they could stay so that they could leave Minako and Yaten alone. Yaten grinned to herself at the thought, brushing aside her pissy attitude for one moment.
Minako paused and took a second to look over at Yaten with distaste. "Is that what you are thinking of at this time?"
"Nani?" Yaten was amazed, she had never seen this look on Minako's face before. No, she had once, but she was a senshi then, she was in the heat of battle. Why would she be making such a face at her now?
Minako took a slow pace towards Yaten setting her brush down in the process. "Your princess, both of our princesses are hurting deeply right now, but neither of their torment or inner turmoil could even begin to compare to that of which Seiya is feeling at this moment." Her eyes glanced towards the door that she knew Taiki and Seiya to be standing on the other side of. "All we can do for her now is support her, make her remember that there are still others that care for her."
"You think she's suicidal?" Yaten stood and could only stare blankly at Minako. What was she proposing? The fact that Seiya's presence here on Earth was a direct agent in the destruction of the peaceful life of happiness that both Usagi and Kakyuu had grown accustom to. By just being her friend, doing what any true friend would have done she sacrificed both of their lives. "She knows that it's not her fault, ne?" Yaten wanted to believe that this was true, she looked to Minako for some sign that she agreed but none came. "Minako, she has to know that it's not her fault, she just has to."
Minako shook her head allowing her bangs to fall into her face when her head dropped. "You and I can see that, but I don't think that Seiya will, ever."
Taiki stood in the hallway with her back against the doorway leading into Minako's loft. Her hands were folded over her chest as she stared at her sullen comrade across from her. She looked pitiful. "You're saying that it doesn't bother you?" There was questioning inside of her own voice, the statement in itself mocked the very fabric of the lie she had been trying to feed her.
Seiya's form stayed silent. What felt like an eternity passed before Taiki let out a long sigh, an exhale of what she had been storing up just incase Seiya had tried to make this a confrontation. "This is the way things are supposed to be." Seiya's head came up with a smile on it. "This is our princess' wedding, everything has to be perfect."
"Seiya…"
"Don't worry about me Taiki. I'll be fine, after all, we have our princess, what more is a senshi to ask for?" Seiya tried to step past her taller friend towards the door inside to end this conversation.
"You're more than a senshi, remember that." Taiki said as she moved aside and let Seiya pass.
"Not any more." The words breathed out of Seiya's mouth as she passed Taiki, not saying them intentionally or to have Taiki hear them, but she did. As Seiya entered the room she noted Minako's eyes on her immediately, her eyes burrowed into her with pity and compassion. She allowed her own sapphire eyes to lock with hers momentarily but they were soon disengaged when they shut tightly fighting back the emotions that sat on edge at the brim just waiting to boil over and spill.
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This damn hill again. The storm had died a bit, but it still raged on. I knew there would be a second coming, or perhaps this was just the aftermath of the horrendous deed that the original storm had cast. Seiya picked herself up from her position in front of me. "Seiya look the storm is ending." I lied but she seemed to need me to. I watched as she turned her eyes to the sky and mused a smile at the dark and ominous clouds that loomed over our heads.
"Do you want it to?" She asked this of me as though I had the power to control the elements of nature. Of course I wanted it to end, I wanted everything to go back to the way they were before the storm had hit and disrupted my utopia. Seiya and I watching the clouds roll across the sky feeling the wind against our skin, not saying a word to one another but understanding completely our own situations. "You couldn't stop it if you wanted to." Her face dropped and she turned her head away so that she didn't have to look me in the eye.
"I know." I muttered, knowing full well that I had no control over such situations. Seiya stood to leave. Without another word she began to walk down the remainder of the hill.
'No matter what I do, inside my heart
there are only things about you
I miss you
More than just playing childishly back in those days
our deep love was always maturing'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm watching some one else's dream again. Why am I walking? A bolt of lightning graced the sky and illuminated my path before me. There was nothing but plains and grass, wet grass ahead of me. It seemed that the people who lived in the concrete jungles of the city had long forgot such wide-open areas such as these. I was heading to such a place, I felt like I belonged there, forgotten. I looked back to where I had just come from and saw a girl standing there half way to the bottom of the hill. Why hadn't I thought she was half way to the top of the hill? It didn't matter. Her figured turned to face the top of the hill as if she had to climb it.
The girl fell to her knees and looked up to the sky. The rain continued to fall and beat down upon her body. Even from such a distance that I was standing I could make out something on her back. I strained my eyes and tried to make out the foreign object that seemed to be part of her form. "Wings?" I asked out loud as I realized what they were. Who was this girl? They weren't solid wings, in the regular light of day I doubt that you would have been able to see them. The only thing that gave them definition was the coating of water on them and the fuzzy shape that the contact of each raindrop gave to them. "Odango?"
'With only the prayers within my heart
there are things I can't tell you...'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She had turned her back on me, I'm alone now. My feet refused to carry me any further, but I knew I had to some how make it back to the top of the hill. "I can't do this alone!" I cried to the night but it didn't seem to want to hear me as all I received in response was a brief rumble of thunder. I looked up to my destination, to make sure that it was really there, I couldn't loose sight now. "Kakyuu?" Why was she there? No, she wasn't supposed to be there, this is where Seiya and I come, this is where we belong. Damn her, she can't just come and take this place as her own. But I am alone… what can I do?
'There are times when love causes loneliness
You must know that I can't be an adult
Don't leave me alone anymore'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I couldn't hear what she was saying, she looked upset though. I had done this to her, I was the one that took off her rose-colored glasses and brought Mamoru to light. Perhaps it would have been better to have just let her live in that sweet dream. At the time I didn't think so, I thought that even if she had gotten rid of Mamoru, when she knew the truth, that she would always have me to depend on, to cushion her fall. She pushed me away though. I felt my face harden, etching lines of determination into my appearance. I had to be strong, even if she didn't want me near her I had to be strong… for her.
'I can't replace the person that you love but
I will always stay by your side
and I will protect you'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Taking another step towards Kakyuu would be like betraying Seiya. I was such a fool to have not believed her. I didn't see what was going on, how could I have even thought she would do such a thing? Now I have this new feeling still dwelling inside of me, perhaps the only pure thing left of my existence, my love for her. Even though I have learned so many things about loss, humility and betrayal now, the thing that hurts the most and the thing that I doubt I will ever be able to recover from is my love for her. "But I love Seiya…"
'There are times when love causes pain'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I could feel her pain, the pain that comes from the loss of some one important to you. I know that pain all too well, the first time I felt it was when we were searching for our princess here on Earth. She still loved him, that is why she hurt so badly? Well now at least they could sympathize with one another, not that conversation between the two of them was likely. Now she knows how it feels to love some one so much and not be able to reach them and feel their love in return.
'Knowing that, do you understand how I love you?'
The days are going to keep coming whether I want them to or not. The rain beat down harder on my skin as I saw her sink to her knees. It seemed she had no idea I had been watching her this entire time. Was I even watching her dream anymore? Or had my own subconscious slipped in and taken over creating this beautiful portrait of hell? No matter. Now every time I see her, every time we are together I'm going to feel this way. I will always feel this tremendous love and admiration for her, but never be able to express it. Just like before…
'Now I feel alone close to you'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I looked up at the top of the hill and saw Kakyuu's unwavering form standing tall. I had come to loathe that form without even knowing why. This wasn't her fault, no, this was to be blamed on something much larger than the both of us. If only Seiya was here to help, to hold me… I turned to the bottom of the hill where I had last seen Seiya departing. She stood there, standing still and staring right at me.
'Don't leave me alone anymore'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Usagi awoke to the sound of pots and pans being dropped in the kitchen. "What the hell is that woman doing?!" She cursed throwing the covers off of herself and lunging out of bed. With a VERY determined pace she made her way out of her bedroom and down the hallway to where the racket was coming from. Halfway down the hall however she ran into an unexpected obstacle.
"Gomen nasai…" Kakyuu mumbled from her newly found position on the floor.
Usagi tried her best to untwist herself from the human pretzel that they had become but then looked with a confused expression towards Kakyuu. "If you're here…" Another loud catastrophe sounded from the kitchen. "… who's in the kitchen?" They both looked at one another and then down the hallway towards the commotion.
"SEIYA!" They said in unison as they rounded the corner and saw a smiling girl up to her knees in pots, pans and cook books.
"Ohayo!" She waved as she tried her best to pick up the mess she had made. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"What are you doing?" Kakyuu asked as she bent down to help the black haired girl with her task while Usagi just stood and stared. "Why are you here?"
"You're my princess, I have to take care of you." Seiya smiled when she brought the last of the books up to rest on the counter top. "Besides, if we left arranging your breakfast up to Odango, Kami only knows if you'd still be alive by lunch."
Usagi snapped out of her daze and wonderment. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" She shouted across the kitchen to Seiya with her hands on her hips.
Kakyuu laughed at the gesture and Seiya merely rolled her eyes. "Are you trying to say that I'm wrong? Do you think you could win the Iron Chef competition? I didn't think so."
Usagi opened her mouth to say something and raised her finger in the air while Seiya just stood there waiting expectantly for her come back. Usagi faltered and all that came out was a low squeak. She was right, she couldn't cook. Seiya laughed at her, knowing full well that she had won the battle and turned to finish what she was doing. The dream from the previous night still haunted her, devoting herself fully to her duties and taking care of her princess was her only responsibility. She wasn't going to neglect that.
"Where are Yaten and Taiki?" Kakyuu asked scraping some butter on a piece of charcoal that Seiya insisted was toast.
"Umm… mmm…" Seiya flushed pink a bit as she remembered the sight she had found Minako and Yaten in when she went to wake her this morning. After that she decided that she didn't need any help and decided not to wake Taiki. "They're sleeping." She finally got out.
"You suck!" Usagi said as she choked down a piece of egg. "This is horrible."
"Shut up Odango!" Seiya waved a spatula threateningly at her in her apron.
"Even I could do better!" Usagi got up and ripped the spatula from Seiya's hand and taking away her authority. "Watch and learn!"
Kakyuu stood back and giggled at the sight of the two arguing. She couldn't help but wonder why Seiya was really here. She was supposed to be her future wife, they were going to have to learn to fend for themselves sooner or later. Seiya leaned over Usagi's shoulder to watch as she showed her how to crack open an egg without getting any shells in it. Even though they were teasing one another they still looked so happy doing it.
Usagi's bunny pajamas had gotten flour all over the back of them from Seiya leaning in to look over her shoulder. Seiya had been truly amazed at the fact that Usagi could actually make a simple breakfast. "There! All done. See it wasn't so hard now was it?" She turned around to smile at Seiya.
"Oh, you have some…" Seiya began to brush the flour off of the back of Usagi's pajamas but soon found a spatula upside her head. "…flour on your butt."
"Eechi!" Usagi screamed and stormed out of the room leaving Kakyuu laughing hysterically at Seiya who stood wide-eyed and holding her cheek.
"At least she's not mad at me anymore, ne?" Seiya rubbed the side of her face and could feel the small welts from where the spatula had made contact.
Kakyuu smiled at her and let out another small giggle. "Seiya dear, you'd better learn to keep your hands off my fiancé!" She joked, trying for the first time to make light of the subject.
"Hai." Seiya untied her apron and her mood fell. Tossing the apron over the back of the chair she began to walk out of the apartment. Kakyuu's amusement faded when she realized that she had hurt her in some way. She stood alone in the middle of the kitchen wishing that Kounetsu was here to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be alright.
Usagi threw herself down on her bed and buried her head in her pillows. "Seiya-baka!" She grumbled into the soft fabric. She didn't seem to care that she was going to have to marry her princess, she wasn't upset at all. "Mamo-baka!" He'd lied to her about this too, Seiya never really liked her, but now what was she supposed to do? There was no doubt in her mind that she loved this woman, and to make matters worse, it looked as though she was going to have to see her everyday now. "My life just flat out sucks!" She flipped over on her bed and stared up at the ceiling.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Seiya walked in the door with a smile on her face and sat down taking Yaten's tea in the process. "Ohayo!" She chirped as Taiki just stared in amazement at her in return.
"That was my tea…" Yaten grumbled from her seat beside her allowing her hands to ball up into fists.
"You don't need it, tea stunts your growth!" Seiya smirked and proceeded to drink the majority of the cup.
"Where were you at such an early hour of the morning, and on a Saturday?" Taiki's brow was raised as she ignored her paper and looked over it straight at Seiya.
Seiya set down the mug and smiled again. "Making the Princess breakfast, like a GOOD senshi would." Her eyes narrowed and a small, but unmistakable smirk appeared on her face.
"You truly amaze me Seiya." Is all Taiki said before resuming her reading.
Minako came walking out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head. She immediately noticed Seiya sitting at the table and tried her best to be cheerful. "Ohayo Seiya!" She truly beamed a convincing smile.
"Ohayo Minako." Seiya smiled back masking everything that Minako would have thought was wrong with her. Minako was almost knocked back on her butt with surprise from Seiya's reaction. She thought she was going to have to cheer the girl up but it looked as though she didn't need it. "Well, I'm going to start looking at reception halls today, anyone want to come with me?" Seiya asked while standing up and setting Yaten's empty mug down in front of her.
The three were once again in shock as they just watched Seiya shake her head. "No? Well, if the Princess is mad at you guys for not helping to plan her wedding don't look at me. Maybe I'll win a medal for my efforts, you know, making this the perfect day?" Seiya walked off with a grin on her face and picked up the phone book on her way out the door.
"What the hell was that?" Minako asked sitting down still staring off in the direction that Seiya just walked off in. "Has she gone crazy?"
"GONE crazy? Nope, she's always been crazy." Yaten mused as she poured another cup of tea only to have it stolen by Minako.
"It's just like last time." Taiki finally turned her eyes away from Seiya's direction. "When we were here last time searching for our Princess, Seiya acted as though everything was fine, perhaps cooler than either of us, when we both know it was killing her inside."
Yaten nodded in agreement. "Well screw her then, let her play out her little sherade. She isn't fooling anyone but herself." She waved her off and took a long sip of a cup of tea she could finally claim as her own.
"Yaten!" Minako shouted causing Yaten to choke a bit on her intake of the hot liquid. "I can't believe you could be that insensitive!"
"Believe it." Taiki said flatly while Yaten just narrowed her eyes and scanned them slyly in Taiki's direction.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The song that Seiya and Usagi heard in their dream was 'I Miss You' from the musicals. Thanks so much to Abigail for posting it on her site so I could finally hear it! Ok, ok, ok, I know that the song "I Miss You" is supposed to have Usagi singing about missing Mamoru, but I took the liberty of changing it to make it more… how shall I put this… let's just say better. Who the hell wants to hear ANYONE whining about missing Mamoru- baka? ::sees no hands raised:: Didn't think so! ^_^v I need your help a bit… I didn't know whether or not I should write the end all angsty or not, I mean I can make it light and a bit humorous, but I'll leave it up to you to decide. Let me know what you want! (sweat drops from long Author Note… Am I always this bad?)
[::Akuen::]
by Lady in Red
(Shared Image of a Delusion)
Two women from two separate worlds sat together in Usagi's apartment. Neither of them had spoken a word to one another since they had left the group. Kakyuu stared absently out the window at the starlit sky as though she could see her lovers face among the stars. She turned her head to see the state that Usagi was in through all of this, knowing well enough that she probably wasn't any better off.
Usagi sat quietly on the couch and had a book opened in front of her, to Kakyuu's knowledge, she hadn't turned the page once in the hour that she had been sitting there. Usagi's mind drifted to Mamoru, unfortunately. One lie had lead to another and she was left contemplating the truths, if any of their relationship. How much of it was just bullshit and how much had he really meant?
She knew that he had to have loved her at one point, she could feel it, it was just a shame that she hadn't felt it slip away. Flashes of Mamoru came to her mind as she remembered the times they had spent when she was happy and believed that he was also. Finally an image of Mamoru plastered in a dress outside of Minako's apartment came to mind. Usagi found herself giving a small laugh to the thought but quickly pushed it aside as she felt Kakyuu looking at her. Her eyes lifted from the book to look at her onlooker. Kakyuu had indeed been looking at her but turned her head quickly when she saw Usagi turning. Could she possibly want this to work?
Turning her eyes back to her book, which she realized was upside down in the first place, she stopped questioning other people and turned the interrogation onto herself. She couldn't answer all of these questions for everyone else, but she could sit and try to answer some of her own. Could she really marry a woman? Usagi's brow furrowed. She had thought she had fallen in love with Seiya when she was here but was that only because Mamoru had told her that she liked her?
Now Usagi had no idea whether or not Mamoru had been telling the truth about any part of their Seiya conversations. Had Seiya even liked her in the first place, or was that just something Mamoru had pulled out his ass? AND… if Seiya didn't like her, did that mean that she didn't love Seiya any more? Usagi's mind ached, but her heart knew the answer. The two combated one another until she couldn't take it any more and stood up to go to bed.
Without saying a word to Kakyuu she stood from her position on the couch and walked down the hall to her bedroom, on the way she flipped the light switch of the guest room to illuminate and point out where Kakyuu could stay.
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"I can't believe you let them stay here with you too." Yaten huffed as she sat on the futon with her arms folded looking into the bathroom watching Minako brush her hair. Seiya had just come home and Taiki was out in the hallway talking with her, obviously so that Yaten or Minako wouldn't hear what they had to say. Maybe they were discussing other places they could stay so that they could leave Minako and Yaten alone. Yaten grinned to herself at the thought, brushing aside her pissy attitude for one moment.
Minako paused and took a second to look over at Yaten with distaste. "Is that what you are thinking of at this time?"
"Nani?" Yaten was amazed, she had never seen this look on Minako's face before. No, she had once, but she was a senshi then, she was in the heat of battle. Why would she be making such a face at her now?
Minako took a slow pace towards Yaten setting her brush down in the process. "Your princess, both of our princesses are hurting deeply right now, but neither of their torment or inner turmoil could even begin to compare to that of which Seiya is feeling at this moment." Her eyes glanced towards the door that she knew Taiki and Seiya to be standing on the other side of. "All we can do for her now is support her, make her remember that there are still others that care for her."
"You think she's suicidal?" Yaten stood and could only stare blankly at Minako. What was she proposing? The fact that Seiya's presence here on Earth was a direct agent in the destruction of the peaceful life of happiness that both Usagi and Kakyuu had grown accustom to. By just being her friend, doing what any true friend would have done she sacrificed both of their lives. "She knows that it's not her fault, ne?" Yaten wanted to believe that this was true, she looked to Minako for some sign that she agreed but none came. "Minako, she has to know that it's not her fault, she just has to."
Minako shook her head allowing her bangs to fall into her face when her head dropped. "You and I can see that, but I don't think that Seiya will, ever."
Taiki stood in the hallway with her back against the doorway leading into Minako's loft. Her hands were folded over her chest as she stared at her sullen comrade across from her. She looked pitiful. "You're saying that it doesn't bother you?" There was questioning inside of her own voice, the statement in itself mocked the very fabric of the lie she had been trying to feed her.
Seiya's form stayed silent. What felt like an eternity passed before Taiki let out a long sigh, an exhale of what she had been storing up just incase Seiya had tried to make this a confrontation. "This is the way things are supposed to be." Seiya's head came up with a smile on it. "This is our princess' wedding, everything has to be perfect."
"Seiya…"
"Don't worry about me Taiki. I'll be fine, after all, we have our princess, what more is a senshi to ask for?" Seiya tried to step past her taller friend towards the door inside to end this conversation.
"You're more than a senshi, remember that." Taiki said as she moved aside and let Seiya pass.
"Not any more." The words breathed out of Seiya's mouth as she passed Taiki, not saying them intentionally or to have Taiki hear them, but she did. As Seiya entered the room she noted Minako's eyes on her immediately, her eyes burrowed into her with pity and compassion. She allowed her own sapphire eyes to lock with hers momentarily but they were soon disengaged when they shut tightly fighting back the emotions that sat on edge at the brim just waiting to boil over and spill.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This damn hill again. The storm had died a bit, but it still raged on. I knew there would be a second coming, or perhaps this was just the aftermath of the horrendous deed that the original storm had cast. Seiya picked herself up from her position in front of me. "Seiya look the storm is ending." I lied but she seemed to need me to. I watched as she turned her eyes to the sky and mused a smile at the dark and ominous clouds that loomed over our heads.
"Do you want it to?" She asked this of me as though I had the power to control the elements of nature. Of course I wanted it to end, I wanted everything to go back to the way they were before the storm had hit and disrupted my utopia. Seiya and I watching the clouds roll across the sky feeling the wind against our skin, not saying a word to one another but understanding completely our own situations. "You couldn't stop it if you wanted to." Her face dropped and she turned her head away so that she didn't have to look me in the eye.
"I know." I muttered, knowing full well that I had no control over such situations. Seiya stood to leave. Without another word she began to walk down the remainder of the hill.
'No matter what I do, inside my heart
there are only things about you
I miss you
More than just playing childishly back in those days
our deep love was always maturing'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm watching some one else's dream again. Why am I walking? A bolt of lightning graced the sky and illuminated my path before me. There was nothing but plains and grass, wet grass ahead of me. It seemed that the people who lived in the concrete jungles of the city had long forgot such wide-open areas such as these. I was heading to such a place, I felt like I belonged there, forgotten. I looked back to where I had just come from and saw a girl standing there half way to the bottom of the hill. Why hadn't I thought she was half way to the top of the hill? It didn't matter. Her figured turned to face the top of the hill as if she had to climb it.
The girl fell to her knees and looked up to the sky. The rain continued to fall and beat down upon her body. Even from such a distance that I was standing I could make out something on her back. I strained my eyes and tried to make out the foreign object that seemed to be part of her form. "Wings?" I asked out loud as I realized what they were. Who was this girl? They weren't solid wings, in the regular light of day I doubt that you would have been able to see them. The only thing that gave them definition was the coating of water on them and the fuzzy shape that the contact of each raindrop gave to them. "Odango?"
'With only the prayers within my heart
there are things I can't tell you...'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She had turned her back on me, I'm alone now. My feet refused to carry me any further, but I knew I had to some how make it back to the top of the hill. "I can't do this alone!" I cried to the night but it didn't seem to want to hear me as all I received in response was a brief rumble of thunder. I looked up to my destination, to make sure that it was really there, I couldn't loose sight now. "Kakyuu?" Why was she there? No, she wasn't supposed to be there, this is where Seiya and I come, this is where we belong. Damn her, she can't just come and take this place as her own. But I am alone… what can I do?
'There are times when love causes loneliness
You must know that I can't be an adult
Don't leave me alone anymore'
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I couldn't hear what she was saying, she looked upset though. I had done this to her, I was the one that took off her rose-colored glasses and brought Mamoru to light. Perhaps it would have been better to have just let her live in that sweet dream. At the time I didn't think so, I thought that even if she had gotten rid of Mamoru, when she knew the truth, that she would always have me to depend on, to cushion her fall. She pushed me away though. I felt my face harden, etching lines of determination into my appearance. I had to be strong, even if she didn't want me near her I had to be strong… for her.
'I can't replace the person that you love but
I will always stay by your side
and I will protect you'
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Taking another step towards Kakyuu would be like betraying Seiya. I was such a fool to have not believed her. I didn't see what was going on, how could I have even thought she would do such a thing? Now I have this new feeling still dwelling inside of me, perhaps the only pure thing left of my existence, my love for her. Even though I have learned so many things about loss, humility and betrayal now, the thing that hurts the most and the thing that I doubt I will ever be able to recover from is my love for her. "But I love Seiya…"
'There are times when love causes pain'
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I could feel her pain, the pain that comes from the loss of some one important to you. I know that pain all too well, the first time I felt it was when we were searching for our princess here on Earth. She still loved him, that is why she hurt so badly? Well now at least they could sympathize with one another, not that conversation between the two of them was likely. Now she knows how it feels to love some one so much and not be able to reach them and feel their love in return.
'Knowing that, do you understand how I love you?'
The days are going to keep coming whether I want them to or not. The rain beat down harder on my skin as I saw her sink to her knees. It seemed she had no idea I had been watching her this entire time. Was I even watching her dream anymore? Or had my own subconscious slipped in and taken over creating this beautiful portrait of hell? No matter. Now every time I see her, every time we are together I'm going to feel this way. I will always feel this tremendous love and admiration for her, but never be able to express it. Just like before…
'Now I feel alone close to you'
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I looked up at the top of the hill and saw Kakyuu's unwavering form standing tall. I had come to loathe that form without even knowing why. This wasn't her fault, no, this was to be blamed on something much larger than the both of us. If only Seiya was here to help, to hold me… I turned to the bottom of the hill where I had last seen Seiya departing. She stood there, standing still and staring right at me.
'Don't leave me alone anymore'
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Usagi awoke to the sound of pots and pans being dropped in the kitchen. "What the hell is that woman doing?!" She cursed throwing the covers off of herself and lunging out of bed. With a VERY determined pace she made her way out of her bedroom and down the hallway to where the racket was coming from. Halfway down the hall however she ran into an unexpected obstacle.
"Gomen nasai…" Kakyuu mumbled from her newly found position on the floor.
Usagi tried her best to untwist herself from the human pretzel that they had become but then looked with a confused expression towards Kakyuu. "If you're here…" Another loud catastrophe sounded from the kitchen. "… who's in the kitchen?" They both looked at one another and then down the hallway towards the commotion.
"SEIYA!" They said in unison as they rounded the corner and saw a smiling girl up to her knees in pots, pans and cook books.
"Ohayo!" She waved as she tried her best to pick up the mess she had made. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"What are you doing?" Kakyuu asked as she bent down to help the black haired girl with her task while Usagi just stood and stared. "Why are you here?"
"You're my princess, I have to take care of you." Seiya smiled when she brought the last of the books up to rest on the counter top. "Besides, if we left arranging your breakfast up to Odango, Kami only knows if you'd still be alive by lunch."
Usagi snapped out of her daze and wonderment. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" She shouted across the kitchen to Seiya with her hands on her hips.
Kakyuu laughed at the gesture and Seiya merely rolled her eyes. "Are you trying to say that I'm wrong? Do you think you could win the Iron Chef competition? I didn't think so."
Usagi opened her mouth to say something and raised her finger in the air while Seiya just stood there waiting expectantly for her come back. Usagi faltered and all that came out was a low squeak. She was right, she couldn't cook. Seiya laughed at her, knowing full well that she had won the battle and turned to finish what she was doing. The dream from the previous night still haunted her, devoting herself fully to her duties and taking care of her princess was her only responsibility. She wasn't going to neglect that.
"Where are Yaten and Taiki?" Kakyuu asked scraping some butter on a piece of charcoal that Seiya insisted was toast.
"Umm… mmm…" Seiya flushed pink a bit as she remembered the sight she had found Minako and Yaten in when she went to wake her this morning. After that she decided that she didn't need any help and decided not to wake Taiki. "They're sleeping." She finally got out.
"You suck!" Usagi said as she choked down a piece of egg. "This is horrible."
"Shut up Odango!" Seiya waved a spatula threateningly at her in her apron.
"Even I could do better!" Usagi got up and ripped the spatula from Seiya's hand and taking away her authority. "Watch and learn!"
Kakyuu stood back and giggled at the sight of the two arguing. She couldn't help but wonder why Seiya was really here. She was supposed to be her future wife, they were going to have to learn to fend for themselves sooner or later. Seiya leaned over Usagi's shoulder to watch as she showed her how to crack open an egg without getting any shells in it. Even though they were teasing one another they still looked so happy doing it.
Usagi's bunny pajamas had gotten flour all over the back of them from Seiya leaning in to look over her shoulder. Seiya had been truly amazed at the fact that Usagi could actually make a simple breakfast. "There! All done. See it wasn't so hard now was it?" She turned around to smile at Seiya.
"Oh, you have some…" Seiya began to brush the flour off of the back of Usagi's pajamas but soon found a spatula upside her head. "…flour on your butt."
"Eechi!" Usagi screamed and stormed out of the room leaving Kakyuu laughing hysterically at Seiya who stood wide-eyed and holding her cheek.
"At least she's not mad at me anymore, ne?" Seiya rubbed the side of her face and could feel the small welts from where the spatula had made contact.
Kakyuu smiled at her and let out another small giggle. "Seiya dear, you'd better learn to keep your hands off my fiancé!" She joked, trying for the first time to make light of the subject.
"Hai." Seiya untied her apron and her mood fell. Tossing the apron over the back of the chair she began to walk out of the apartment. Kakyuu's amusement faded when she realized that she had hurt her in some way. She stood alone in the middle of the kitchen wishing that Kounetsu was here to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be alright.
Usagi threw herself down on her bed and buried her head in her pillows. "Seiya-baka!" She grumbled into the soft fabric. She didn't seem to care that she was going to have to marry her princess, she wasn't upset at all. "Mamo-baka!" He'd lied to her about this too, Seiya never really liked her, but now what was she supposed to do? There was no doubt in her mind that she loved this woman, and to make matters worse, it looked as though she was going to have to see her everyday now. "My life just flat out sucks!" She flipped over on her bed and stared up at the ceiling.
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Seiya walked in the door with a smile on her face and sat down taking Yaten's tea in the process. "Ohayo!" She chirped as Taiki just stared in amazement at her in return.
"That was my tea…" Yaten grumbled from her seat beside her allowing her hands to ball up into fists.
"You don't need it, tea stunts your growth!" Seiya smirked and proceeded to drink the majority of the cup.
"Where were you at such an early hour of the morning, and on a Saturday?" Taiki's brow was raised as she ignored her paper and looked over it straight at Seiya.
Seiya set down the mug and smiled again. "Making the Princess breakfast, like a GOOD senshi would." Her eyes narrowed and a small, but unmistakable smirk appeared on her face.
"You truly amaze me Seiya." Is all Taiki said before resuming her reading.
Minako came walking out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head. She immediately noticed Seiya sitting at the table and tried her best to be cheerful. "Ohayo Seiya!" She truly beamed a convincing smile.
"Ohayo Minako." Seiya smiled back masking everything that Minako would have thought was wrong with her. Minako was almost knocked back on her butt with surprise from Seiya's reaction. She thought she was going to have to cheer the girl up but it looked as though she didn't need it. "Well, I'm going to start looking at reception halls today, anyone want to come with me?" Seiya asked while standing up and setting Yaten's empty mug down in front of her.
The three were once again in shock as they just watched Seiya shake her head. "No? Well, if the Princess is mad at you guys for not helping to plan her wedding don't look at me. Maybe I'll win a medal for my efforts, you know, making this the perfect day?" Seiya walked off with a grin on her face and picked up the phone book on her way out the door.
"What the hell was that?" Minako asked sitting down still staring off in the direction that Seiya just walked off in. "Has she gone crazy?"
"GONE crazy? Nope, she's always been crazy." Yaten mused as she poured another cup of tea only to have it stolen by Minako.
"It's just like last time." Taiki finally turned her eyes away from Seiya's direction. "When we were here last time searching for our Princess, Seiya acted as though everything was fine, perhaps cooler than either of us, when we both know it was killing her inside."
Yaten nodded in agreement. "Well screw her then, let her play out her little sherade. She isn't fooling anyone but herself." She waved her off and took a long sip of a cup of tea she could finally claim as her own.
"Yaten!" Minako shouted causing Yaten to choke a bit on her intake of the hot liquid. "I can't believe you could be that insensitive!"
"Believe it." Taiki said flatly while Yaten just narrowed her eyes and scanned them slyly in Taiki's direction.
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The song that Seiya and Usagi heard in their dream was 'I Miss You' from the musicals. Thanks so much to Abigail for posting it on her site so I could finally hear it! Ok, ok, ok, I know that the song "I Miss You" is supposed to have Usagi singing about missing Mamoru, but I took the liberty of changing it to make it more… how shall I put this… let's just say better. Who the hell wants to hear ANYONE whining about missing Mamoru- baka? ::sees no hands raised:: Didn't think so! ^_^v I need your help a bit… I didn't know whether or not I should write the end all angsty or not, I mean I can make it light and a bit humorous, but I'll leave it up to you to decide. Let me know what you want! (sweat drops from long Author Note… Am I always this bad?)