"Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal. Fear is all I
know confusing what is real. There's something inside me that pulls
beneath the surface, consuming, controlling…So insecure. Crawling in my
skin, these words they will not hear. Fear is how all I fall. Confusing
what is real. I can't seem to find myself again; the walls are closing in.
I felt this way before, so insecure…Crawling in my skin, these wounds they
will not heal. Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real. Crawling in my
skin, these wounds they will not heal. Fear is how I fall, confusing what
is real."
She walked through the grass, kicking up grasshoppers and other bugs that leapt out of the way. Watching a cloud of butterflies take off, she wished she could be like them. It had been nearly a year since they landed on her home planet and she hadn't seen Vegeta for several weeks. Not since he'd gotten into another argument with her about staying for so long. Missing him and his dark presence in her house seemed normal. Sighing softly, she sang when a song popped into her head. "Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name and it feels like home. When you call my name, it's like a little prayer; I'm down on my knees I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour I can feel your power. Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there. I hear your voice; it's like an angel sighing." Oh how she remembered his voice at night when he came to her room and took her hand in his before showing her something special to him. She'd sat out on the roof with him and stared up at the stars while he pointed out his home planet. He'd said that normally he could see her planet from his and had often wondered what it was like when he was younger. Then he had taken her into his arms and held her for the rest of that night, whispering softly into her ear. Her heart had bled when he left.
Goku watched her walking and decided not to interrupt her quite yet.
"I have no choice, I hear your voice…feels like flying. I close my eyes oh god I think I'm falling out of the sky I close my eyes. Heaven help me…when you call my name, it's like a little prayer, I'm down on my knees I'm going to take you there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your power. Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there. Like a child, you whisper softly to me. You're in control, just like a child now I'm dancing. It's like a dream, no end and no beginning. You're here with me it's like a dream. Let the choir sing. When you call my name, it's like a little prayer. I'm down on my knees I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your power. Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there. Life is a mystery everyone must stand-alone. I hear you call my name and it feels like home. Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there. Just like a muse to me you are a mystery. Just like a dream you are not what you seem. Just like a prayer no choice your voice can take me there…Just like a prayer your voice can take me there. Just like a muse to me you are a mystery. Just like a dream you are not what you seem. Just like a prayer no choice your voice can take me there. Just like a prayer, I'll take you there, it's like a dream to me…" Looking out over the fields, she bowed her head sadly then slowly sat down and cried. The thought of being without him hurt her deeply and made her wish she hadn't told him she wanted to stay.
Walking over to her side, he sat down and twirled some grass between his fingers before talking. "He isn't gone you know."
"He isn't here though."
"I know."
"I miss him and I never thought that would be possible. I hated him for so long and now…I think I've fallen in love with him."
"He said something like that when I saw him last night. But he's taking care of another matter…a personal matter."
"I don't care what he thinks could be more important than being with me."
"This is very important to him though…I mean he doesn't want his son to think he hates him."
Looking up, she felt the tears starting again. "His son?"
Trying not to meet her eyes, he nodded. "Yeah…he umm…slept with Bulma within a few days of your landing here and she got pregnant. Since she didn't get rid of the child, he decided it would be best to make sure it really was his son."
"He…slept with someone else?" She could tell her lower lip was trembling and almost felt stupid because of it. "He didn't even come to me and he never asked me to sleep with him."
"Well…you did say you used to hate him."
"But we got over it well before coming here. Hell, I almost did sleep with him but I couldn't…I wasn't ready and we were so angry with each other at the time."
"Yeah well…maybe you should talk to him when he comes back."
"And maybe I shouldn't." Getting to her feet, she brushed the grass from her pants then looked up at the sky. "I have other things I can do than stay here."
"Why?"
Looking at him, she smiled sadly. "Because if there is one thing I learned in space, it was that loving someone could be just as deadly as letting your enemies live."
"Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep. Papa don't preach, I've been loosing sleep. But I've made up my mind; I'm keeping my baby. I'm going to keep my baby…Daddy, daddy if you could only see just how good he's treating me. Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep. Papa don't preach, I've been loosing sleep."
She started her ship and checked all the systems before turning it off and sighing tiredly. The repairs had taken a little over a week and she only had one day left before she couldn't leave without seeing him. Everytime Goku had protested, she had ignored him in silence while recalibrating several engine parts. Finally he'd given up and told her he was going to talk to Vegeta about what she was doing. She'd ignored him then yelled profanities at his disappearing form. No matter what she'd tried, the engine would overheat too quickly. Banging on the control panel, she slumped forward and tried not to start crying again. She had cried every night for the past few nights. Her heart hurt because he hadn't even considered sleeping with her, even though…shaking her head, she picked up her tools and climbed out of the ship. Getting beneath it, she started working on the coolant systems then swore when water poured out of the pipe. Sputtering and coughing, she pushed out from beneath the ship and sat up wiping her face clean. "Piece of shit machine." Kicking the ship, she heard something clatter to the ground and frowned before sliding beneath it again. "Well, that explains the overheating." Picking up the piece, she reattached it before fixing the hoses and checking every pressure valve. "I can't believe that bastard…making me think he liked me when he was a father. Showing me his world and saying stuff like that. I hate him so much."
"I hate you so much right now…"
Fixing the last valve, she slid out from beneath the ship and got a water hose before checking the salinity and sticking it into the cooling system. It would take roughly three hours to fill the tank, enough time to take a bath and get ready to leave. Maybe she would take a nice long bubble bath that had a lot of appeal to it at the moment. Pulling her hair from its ponytail, she ran her fingers through it then frowned when she realized how many split ends she had. Studying the ends, she made her way up the stairs then into her room.
"Kathi, we need to talk." Vegeta moved away from her mirror as she came into her room.
Looking up in surprise, she felt joy rush through her then anger and finally misery. "No." Grabbing some clothing, she pushed past him and started the hot water for a bath.
"It wasn't what it seems."
Ignoring him, she picked up a bottle of soap and sniffed it before pouring some into the water.
"I didn't sleep with her because I wanted her."
She trembled slightly as she brushed her hair, still trying to ignore him.
"Shit, yeah I wanted her but I wanted anything remotely female when we landed and it was all your fault. You teased me endlessly on the ship and never once did you invite me to your bed. I quickly learned what speeds felt best when I was jerking off because of your teasing."
Setting down her brush, she thought a moment then started undressing.
Closing his eyes, he forced his body to stay under control before opening them again. "You never gave me a chance."
Tossing her shirt aside, she fixed her bra then kicked off her shoes before reaching over and turning the water off.
"You treated me like shit even when we finally started talking like friends. I wanted to be your friend, with privileges. I wanted you to want me as much as I wanted you. And you left me hanging that day we landed. You were pissed because I bit you hard enough to draw blood and I won't apologize about that because I did that for you. Not that you would care if I were to explain it to you or even try to show you what happened when I did it. You never once stopped to think about how you affected me and I was more than ready for it when she started coming onto me."
Slowly unhooking her bra, she took it off then tossed it onto her shirt before standing and working on her pants.
Closing his eyes again, he sighed then turned and walked out of the bathroom. "I don't even know why I bother to explain it all to you anyway."
Watching him leave her room, she felt tears stinging her eyes then bit her knuckles before the first sob escaped from her mouth. The tears ran down her face and dripped onto her knees as she sat on the edge of the tub then the floor when she fell to her knees. Crying harder, she felt sick and barely made it to the toilet before emptying her stomach into it.
She walked through the grass, kicking up grasshoppers and other bugs that leapt out of the way. Watching a cloud of butterflies take off, she wished she could be like them. It had been nearly a year since they landed on her home planet and she hadn't seen Vegeta for several weeks. Not since he'd gotten into another argument with her about staying for so long. Missing him and his dark presence in her house seemed normal. Sighing softly, she sang when a song popped into her head. "Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name and it feels like home. When you call my name, it's like a little prayer; I'm down on my knees I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour I can feel your power. Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there. I hear your voice; it's like an angel sighing." Oh how she remembered his voice at night when he came to her room and took her hand in his before showing her something special to him. She'd sat out on the roof with him and stared up at the stars while he pointed out his home planet. He'd said that normally he could see her planet from his and had often wondered what it was like when he was younger. Then he had taken her into his arms and held her for the rest of that night, whispering softly into her ear. Her heart had bled when he left.
Goku watched her walking and decided not to interrupt her quite yet.
"I have no choice, I hear your voice…feels like flying. I close my eyes oh god I think I'm falling out of the sky I close my eyes. Heaven help me…when you call my name, it's like a little prayer, I'm down on my knees I'm going to take you there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your power. Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there. Like a child, you whisper softly to me. You're in control, just like a child now I'm dancing. It's like a dream, no end and no beginning. You're here with me it's like a dream. Let the choir sing. When you call my name, it's like a little prayer. I'm down on my knees I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your power. Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there. Life is a mystery everyone must stand-alone. I hear you call my name and it feels like home. Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there. Just like a muse to me you are a mystery. Just like a dream you are not what you seem. Just like a prayer no choice your voice can take me there…Just like a prayer your voice can take me there. Just like a muse to me you are a mystery. Just like a dream you are not what you seem. Just like a prayer no choice your voice can take me there. Just like a prayer, I'll take you there, it's like a dream to me…" Looking out over the fields, she bowed her head sadly then slowly sat down and cried. The thought of being without him hurt her deeply and made her wish she hadn't told him she wanted to stay.
Walking over to her side, he sat down and twirled some grass between his fingers before talking. "He isn't gone you know."
"He isn't here though."
"I know."
"I miss him and I never thought that would be possible. I hated him for so long and now…I think I've fallen in love with him."
"He said something like that when I saw him last night. But he's taking care of another matter…a personal matter."
"I don't care what he thinks could be more important than being with me."
"This is very important to him though…I mean he doesn't want his son to think he hates him."
Looking up, she felt the tears starting again. "His son?"
Trying not to meet her eyes, he nodded. "Yeah…he umm…slept with Bulma within a few days of your landing here and she got pregnant. Since she didn't get rid of the child, he decided it would be best to make sure it really was his son."
"He…slept with someone else?" She could tell her lower lip was trembling and almost felt stupid because of it. "He didn't even come to me and he never asked me to sleep with him."
"Well…you did say you used to hate him."
"But we got over it well before coming here. Hell, I almost did sleep with him but I couldn't…I wasn't ready and we were so angry with each other at the time."
"Yeah well…maybe you should talk to him when he comes back."
"And maybe I shouldn't." Getting to her feet, she brushed the grass from her pants then looked up at the sky. "I have other things I can do than stay here."
"Why?"
Looking at him, she smiled sadly. "Because if there is one thing I learned in space, it was that loving someone could be just as deadly as letting your enemies live."
"Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep. Papa don't preach, I've been loosing sleep. But I've made up my mind; I'm keeping my baby. I'm going to keep my baby…Daddy, daddy if you could only see just how good he's treating me. Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep. Papa don't preach, I've been loosing sleep."
She started her ship and checked all the systems before turning it off and sighing tiredly. The repairs had taken a little over a week and she only had one day left before she couldn't leave without seeing him. Everytime Goku had protested, she had ignored him in silence while recalibrating several engine parts. Finally he'd given up and told her he was going to talk to Vegeta about what she was doing. She'd ignored him then yelled profanities at his disappearing form. No matter what she'd tried, the engine would overheat too quickly. Banging on the control panel, she slumped forward and tried not to start crying again. She had cried every night for the past few nights. Her heart hurt because he hadn't even considered sleeping with her, even though…shaking her head, she picked up her tools and climbed out of the ship. Getting beneath it, she started working on the coolant systems then swore when water poured out of the pipe. Sputtering and coughing, she pushed out from beneath the ship and sat up wiping her face clean. "Piece of shit machine." Kicking the ship, she heard something clatter to the ground and frowned before sliding beneath it again. "Well, that explains the overheating." Picking up the piece, she reattached it before fixing the hoses and checking every pressure valve. "I can't believe that bastard…making me think he liked me when he was a father. Showing me his world and saying stuff like that. I hate him so much."
"I hate you so much right now…"
Fixing the last valve, she slid out from beneath the ship and got a water hose before checking the salinity and sticking it into the cooling system. It would take roughly three hours to fill the tank, enough time to take a bath and get ready to leave. Maybe she would take a nice long bubble bath that had a lot of appeal to it at the moment. Pulling her hair from its ponytail, she ran her fingers through it then frowned when she realized how many split ends she had. Studying the ends, she made her way up the stairs then into her room.
"Kathi, we need to talk." Vegeta moved away from her mirror as she came into her room.
Looking up in surprise, she felt joy rush through her then anger and finally misery. "No." Grabbing some clothing, she pushed past him and started the hot water for a bath.
"It wasn't what it seems."
Ignoring him, she picked up a bottle of soap and sniffed it before pouring some into the water.
"I didn't sleep with her because I wanted her."
She trembled slightly as she brushed her hair, still trying to ignore him.
"Shit, yeah I wanted her but I wanted anything remotely female when we landed and it was all your fault. You teased me endlessly on the ship and never once did you invite me to your bed. I quickly learned what speeds felt best when I was jerking off because of your teasing."
Setting down her brush, she thought a moment then started undressing.
Closing his eyes, he forced his body to stay under control before opening them again. "You never gave me a chance."
Tossing her shirt aside, she fixed her bra then kicked off her shoes before reaching over and turning the water off.
"You treated me like shit even when we finally started talking like friends. I wanted to be your friend, with privileges. I wanted you to want me as much as I wanted you. And you left me hanging that day we landed. You were pissed because I bit you hard enough to draw blood and I won't apologize about that because I did that for you. Not that you would care if I were to explain it to you or even try to show you what happened when I did it. You never once stopped to think about how you affected me and I was more than ready for it when she started coming onto me."
Slowly unhooking her bra, she took it off then tossed it onto her shirt before standing and working on her pants.
Closing his eyes again, he sighed then turned and walked out of the bathroom. "I don't even know why I bother to explain it all to you anyway."
Watching him leave her room, she felt tears stinging her eyes then bit her knuckles before the first sob escaped from her mouth. The tears ran down her face and dripped onto her knees as she sat on the edge of the tub then the floor when she fell to her knees. Crying harder, she felt sick and barely made it to the toilet before emptying her stomach into it.