A/N: This one takes place after Dog With Two Bones, and is chocked full of spoilers, so if you're adverse to knowing what happened, don't read. As to the final revelation in Dog with Two Bones regarding Aeryn, I'm dealing with it and dismissing it in my own way. I have my reasons which will come through in the plot in later chapters.
I'm rating this as PG for now; it is very rare that my stories stay that way for long, but as I am not sure where this is going just yet, I figure I'll let it go for now.
They're quite obviously not mine; they belong to the Henson Production Company, Rockne O'Bannon, et. al.
Looking forward to hearing what you think, either here or by email. :)
In the Hands of Fate
Part Three
By: Danae Bowen
Email: logansfox@rogers.com
It took longer than Aeryn would have liked to transfer John from the dead module into her prowler. Once free of the confines of the module, John had insisted on locking the two ships together and towing Farscape One to the nearest inhabited planet. Aeryn had sighed with frustration; even now he refused to give up the one piece of equipment that could take him home, no matter how he'd insisted that Earth was no longer where he wanted to be.
For once unable to argue with him, Aeryn had waited somewhat patiently for John to attach the two ships together, leaving a long enough lead between the hulks of metal so that if Aeryn needed to change vectors quickly, she'd not run the risk of ramming the towed vessel. Finally, she donned her helmet and opened her own hatch, shaking her head at John as he tumbled inside.
Once secure, Aeryn lowered the hatch once again and they both freed themselves of the confines of their EVA helmets. She had to force herself not to shudder as John's hands came around her waist suddenly, squeezing her softly as he settled into the seat behind her. John, for his part, was completely aware of the tension that suddenly flowed through her body as he touched her and had to fight the hurt that threatened to shine through his expressive blue eyes. Aeryn had said she'd had a change of heart, but had she, really?
He sighed, trying not to think too hard on Aeryn's appearance exactly at the moment he'd needed her, instead carefully breathing in the scent that was purely hers, something he'd thought himself never to know again. His heart tripped over itself as he leaned closer, enjoying the closeness that the prowler's tiny cockpit afforded. When Aeryn sighed suddenly, John frowned, instantly leaning back.
"You don't have to do that, you know." Her voice was soft, and John struggled to hear even in the close confines.
"What?"
"Move away. I am sorry that I ever made you feel as if you had to."
John blinked suddenly, unsure that he'd heard what she said, or what he'd wanted her to say. "You mean..."
"I mean, you don't have to do that. I'm sorry I left Moya. It was something I had to do for us both. I don't expect you to understand, or to forgive me."
John almost laughed aloud as Aeryn returned her attention to piloting the prowler carefully through space, occasionally checking on the Farscape One as they made progress towards a nearby commerce planet.
"Aeryn, I don't have to forgive you, you're here, aren't ya?" His words were full of such heart aching happiness that Aeryn shuddered once more, but not in fear or repulsion, rather pleasure at hearing the life come back into a voice that seemed so devoid of any emotion beyond anger and hurt. When his breathing caught once again, Aeryn frowned, twisting suddenly to catch the return of his wounded expression.
"What is it?"
John sighed, running his fingers through his hair as he searched for words to explain what the old lady aboard Moya had told him. He drew his bottom lip between his teeth as he mulled over the questions that were screaming painful paths through his mind, ignoring Harvey as the clone re-established itself in the already too tight quarters of the prowler and began whispering his own prompts for John to act. As they'd attached the Farscape One to the prowler, John had filled Aeryn in on what had happened aboard Moya before she'd arrived. He'd told her of the wormhole and of losing contact with Pilot and Jool, but he'd not told her why it was Pilot had been piloting towards the module. John had had enough fuel to make it this far away from the scene where Aeryn had left him arns before, making it back to Moya without her deploying the docking web would not have been a problem for the small ship. Pilot had had no need to come to John's rescue, and yet, he'd changed Moya's vector, leaving her in the path of the suddenly open wormhole. Now, it seemed, John would have to bring voice to the questions he wanted and yet didn't want to ask.
"Uh, Aeryn, just before Moya was pulled through the wormhole, the old woman told me something. Or I guess it was before that, before you left the ship, but I only remembered just before the wormhole. God, this is the most frelling stupid thing I've ever had to ask anyone, but I gotta ask, or it's gonna drive me crazier than I am even now." John's frustrated expression caused Aeryn to throttle back on the prowler's controls, turning slightly to meet his eyes as he struggled to voice his concerns.
"The only way I can answer your question, John, is if you ask it." She smiled at him gently, her suddenly softened blue-gray eyes pleading with him to drop the final barrier that had risen between them.
"You know how much it hurt leaving my daughter on the Royal Planet, right?" He looked away from her eyes, not able to meet her curious gaze. Instead he focused on the shape of his module as it drifted slowly beside them.
"Of course." Her tone was confused as she turned further, forcing his gaze back to her own.
"Aeryn, you wouldn't do that to me, would you? Leave and take my child, knowing we'll probably never see each other again?" His words burned with the pain that clutched at his heart, the loss of his daughter suddenly magnified by the belief that Aeryn was about to repeat the experience, leaving him with two children in the Uncharted Territories that he'd never see grow from helpless babies into exuberant children, into curious teens, into intelligent adults. The concept of losing another child was too hard for him to bear.
Aeryn stared at him in disbelief; her blue-gray eyes going wide as she slowly absorbed his surprising question. She frowned then, lifting a hand to his jaw, turning his head so that he faced her once more. "Why would you ever think I would do something so horrible? John, children are not and never will be my main priority in life, but I realize how important yours is to you. I could never..." She paused, watching the disbelief spread through his features, and his eyes grow suddenly cold. "Wait a microt. The old woman, she told you I was...? You think I am...? For frells sake, Crichton, you'd believe a stranger over me? Do you really believe that I could be that callous?" Hurt blazed through her, hot and sharp as she turned away once again. "I suppose we really have changed if you could ever think I would do that to you."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... oh, God, Aeryn, how am I supposed to know? Far as I know, you hated my guts six arns ago. Not my child anyway, would've been his, so why should you bother telling me." He leaned back, distancing himself physically and emotionally from the woman only a few miserable inches in front of him.
Aeryn groaned, throttling back too quickly on the controls, causing them both to jerk forward as the Prowler slowed roughly. "All right, fine, you want to do this, then we'll do it and be done with it. I am not, nor have I ever been, pregnant with your child or his. I would not take our child away from you and never let you know of its existence. Think about it for one microt, Crichton. I was raised never knowing my parents, never knowing that I was loved. Even if I was pregnant with his child, do you really believe that I wouldn't understand you would see the child as your own, and love it as such? I know you, you frelling idiot human. I haven't spent three cycles falling in love with a man I don't know. Everything is your responsibility, just as everything is your fault. I'm fairly sure you even blame yourself for Moya's disappearance just as if you opened the wormhole and pulled her through. You have taught me far more than I'd care to admit, John Crichton. You have taught me how to be compassionate, how to be diplomatic," At that John snorted quietly, earning himself a scornful look from the Sebacean. "Shut up or you'll find yourself back in your own "crappy little ship" for the duration of this trip." She waited for him to silence himself, grateful for the flicker of amusement that began to show in his blue eyes. "Above all else, John, you've taught me love. We have both learned to think in the way of him or you, rather than simply John Crichton. Before Talyn, you were the same man, and I loved you long before it became a matter of him or you. I wasn't leaving because of that, no matter how it may have seemed at the time. *You* taught me all of these things and more. Yes, it was him that I eventually turned to, but you've shown me that he was no more or less Crichton than you are. If you had been on Talyn with me, the same would have happened. Do you understand, or is this too much for your tiny human brain to comprehend?"
"Take it easy, babe, I wasn't the one pushing you away." His words were harsh, but his tone was light, as if a sudden weight had been lifted from his mind.
Aeryn sighed as she leaned back, allowing his warm arms to surround her. "I am sorry that I hurt you; I was hurting just as badly."
"I know." He rested his chin on the top of her head, allowing his thumb to gently trace the pulse of her heart at the base of her throat. "I'm not sorry I pushed, though. Sometimes if something means a lot, you gotta fight for it. And, babe, you are the most important thing in the universe."
"Your one constant."
She felt more than saw John stiffen as she spoke, and instantly regretted the words. Whether or not he considered himself rectified with the life and death of his double, some things would always make him uncomfortable. She sighed in relief as she felt him relax an instant later, and the light smile returned to his lips.
"He told you that, eh?"
She nodded wordlessly, reclaiming the controls to the prowler, piloting them once more towards life. When he laughed suddenly, she glanced at him in confusion, grateful for the lack of bitterness in his expression.
"How many of my other secrets did he go and spill?" His eyes sparkled mischievously as he leaned back and let her pilot without his presence in her personal space. She sighed with the loss, but smiled back at him.
"Not many, I'm sure."
He shook his head quietly, glancing out the hatch once more. "You realize once we get our asses out of this mess, I will find out, by any means necessary?"
"Of course." She grinned. "As you would say, I am counting on it."
**********
End Part Three
I'm rating this as PG for now; it is very rare that my stories stay that way for long, but as I am not sure where this is going just yet, I figure I'll let it go for now.
They're quite obviously not mine; they belong to the Henson Production Company, Rockne O'Bannon, et. al.
Looking forward to hearing what you think, either here or by email. :)
In the Hands of Fate
Part Three
By: Danae Bowen
Email: logansfox@rogers.com
It took longer than Aeryn would have liked to transfer John from the dead module into her prowler. Once free of the confines of the module, John had insisted on locking the two ships together and towing Farscape One to the nearest inhabited planet. Aeryn had sighed with frustration; even now he refused to give up the one piece of equipment that could take him home, no matter how he'd insisted that Earth was no longer where he wanted to be.
For once unable to argue with him, Aeryn had waited somewhat patiently for John to attach the two ships together, leaving a long enough lead between the hulks of metal so that if Aeryn needed to change vectors quickly, she'd not run the risk of ramming the towed vessel. Finally, she donned her helmet and opened her own hatch, shaking her head at John as he tumbled inside.
Once secure, Aeryn lowered the hatch once again and they both freed themselves of the confines of their EVA helmets. She had to force herself not to shudder as John's hands came around her waist suddenly, squeezing her softly as he settled into the seat behind her. John, for his part, was completely aware of the tension that suddenly flowed through her body as he touched her and had to fight the hurt that threatened to shine through his expressive blue eyes. Aeryn had said she'd had a change of heart, but had she, really?
He sighed, trying not to think too hard on Aeryn's appearance exactly at the moment he'd needed her, instead carefully breathing in the scent that was purely hers, something he'd thought himself never to know again. His heart tripped over itself as he leaned closer, enjoying the closeness that the prowler's tiny cockpit afforded. When Aeryn sighed suddenly, John frowned, instantly leaning back.
"You don't have to do that, you know." Her voice was soft, and John struggled to hear even in the close confines.
"What?"
"Move away. I am sorry that I ever made you feel as if you had to."
John blinked suddenly, unsure that he'd heard what she said, or what he'd wanted her to say. "You mean..."
"I mean, you don't have to do that. I'm sorry I left Moya. It was something I had to do for us both. I don't expect you to understand, or to forgive me."
John almost laughed aloud as Aeryn returned her attention to piloting the prowler carefully through space, occasionally checking on the Farscape One as they made progress towards a nearby commerce planet.
"Aeryn, I don't have to forgive you, you're here, aren't ya?" His words were full of such heart aching happiness that Aeryn shuddered once more, but not in fear or repulsion, rather pleasure at hearing the life come back into a voice that seemed so devoid of any emotion beyond anger and hurt. When his breathing caught once again, Aeryn frowned, twisting suddenly to catch the return of his wounded expression.
"What is it?"
John sighed, running his fingers through his hair as he searched for words to explain what the old lady aboard Moya had told him. He drew his bottom lip between his teeth as he mulled over the questions that were screaming painful paths through his mind, ignoring Harvey as the clone re-established itself in the already too tight quarters of the prowler and began whispering his own prompts for John to act. As they'd attached the Farscape One to the prowler, John had filled Aeryn in on what had happened aboard Moya before she'd arrived. He'd told her of the wormhole and of losing contact with Pilot and Jool, but he'd not told her why it was Pilot had been piloting towards the module. John had had enough fuel to make it this far away from the scene where Aeryn had left him arns before, making it back to Moya without her deploying the docking web would not have been a problem for the small ship. Pilot had had no need to come to John's rescue, and yet, he'd changed Moya's vector, leaving her in the path of the suddenly open wormhole. Now, it seemed, John would have to bring voice to the questions he wanted and yet didn't want to ask.
"Uh, Aeryn, just before Moya was pulled through the wormhole, the old woman told me something. Or I guess it was before that, before you left the ship, but I only remembered just before the wormhole. God, this is the most frelling stupid thing I've ever had to ask anyone, but I gotta ask, or it's gonna drive me crazier than I am even now." John's frustrated expression caused Aeryn to throttle back on the prowler's controls, turning slightly to meet his eyes as he struggled to voice his concerns.
"The only way I can answer your question, John, is if you ask it." She smiled at him gently, her suddenly softened blue-gray eyes pleading with him to drop the final barrier that had risen between them.
"You know how much it hurt leaving my daughter on the Royal Planet, right?" He looked away from her eyes, not able to meet her curious gaze. Instead he focused on the shape of his module as it drifted slowly beside them.
"Of course." Her tone was confused as she turned further, forcing his gaze back to her own.
"Aeryn, you wouldn't do that to me, would you? Leave and take my child, knowing we'll probably never see each other again?" His words burned with the pain that clutched at his heart, the loss of his daughter suddenly magnified by the belief that Aeryn was about to repeat the experience, leaving him with two children in the Uncharted Territories that he'd never see grow from helpless babies into exuberant children, into curious teens, into intelligent adults. The concept of losing another child was too hard for him to bear.
Aeryn stared at him in disbelief; her blue-gray eyes going wide as she slowly absorbed his surprising question. She frowned then, lifting a hand to his jaw, turning his head so that he faced her once more. "Why would you ever think I would do something so horrible? John, children are not and never will be my main priority in life, but I realize how important yours is to you. I could never..." She paused, watching the disbelief spread through his features, and his eyes grow suddenly cold. "Wait a microt. The old woman, she told you I was...? You think I am...? For frells sake, Crichton, you'd believe a stranger over me? Do you really believe that I could be that callous?" Hurt blazed through her, hot and sharp as she turned away once again. "I suppose we really have changed if you could ever think I would do that to you."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... oh, God, Aeryn, how am I supposed to know? Far as I know, you hated my guts six arns ago. Not my child anyway, would've been his, so why should you bother telling me." He leaned back, distancing himself physically and emotionally from the woman only a few miserable inches in front of him.
Aeryn groaned, throttling back too quickly on the controls, causing them both to jerk forward as the Prowler slowed roughly. "All right, fine, you want to do this, then we'll do it and be done with it. I am not, nor have I ever been, pregnant with your child or his. I would not take our child away from you and never let you know of its existence. Think about it for one microt, Crichton. I was raised never knowing my parents, never knowing that I was loved. Even if I was pregnant with his child, do you really believe that I wouldn't understand you would see the child as your own, and love it as such? I know you, you frelling idiot human. I haven't spent three cycles falling in love with a man I don't know. Everything is your responsibility, just as everything is your fault. I'm fairly sure you even blame yourself for Moya's disappearance just as if you opened the wormhole and pulled her through. You have taught me far more than I'd care to admit, John Crichton. You have taught me how to be compassionate, how to be diplomatic," At that John snorted quietly, earning himself a scornful look from the Sebacean. "Shut up or you'll find yourself back in your own "crappy little ship" for the duration of this trip." She waited for him to silence himself, grateful for the flicker of amusement that began to show in his blue eyes. "Above all else, John, you've taught me love. We have both learned to think in the way of him or you, rather than simply John Crichton. Before Talyn, you were the same man, and I loved you long before it became a matter of him or you. I wasn't leaving because of that, no matter how it may have seemed at the time. *You* taught me all of these things and more. Yes, it was him that I eventually turned to, but you've shown me that he was no more or less Crichton than you are. If you had been on Talyn with me, the same would have happened. Do you understand, or is this too much for your tiny human brain to comprehend?"
"Take it easy, babe, I wasn't the one pushing you away." His words were harsh, but his tone was light, as if a sudden weight had been lifted from his mind.
Aeryn sighed as she leaned back, allowing his warm arms to surround her. "I am sorry that I hurt you; I was hurting just as badly."
"I know." He rested his chin on the top of her head, allowing his thumb to gently trace the pulse of her heart at the base of her throat. "I'm not sorry I pushed, though. Sometimes if something means a lot, you gotta fight for it. And, babe, you are the most important thing in the universe."
"Your one constant."
She felt more than saw John stiffen as she spoke, and instantly regretted the words. Whether or not he considered himself rectified with the life and death of his double, some things would always make him uncomfortable. She sighed in relief as she felt him relax an instant later, and the light smile returned to his lips.
"He told you that, eh?"
She nodded wordlessly, reclaiming the controls to the prowler, piloting them once more towards life. When he laughed suddenly, she glanced at him in confusion, grateful for the lack of bitterness in his expression.
"How many of my other secrets did he go and spill?" His eyes sparkled mischievously as he leaned back and let her pilot without his presence in her personal space. She sighed with the loss, but smiled back at him.
"Not many, I'm sure."
He shook his head quietly, glancing out the hatch once more. "You realize once we get our asses out of this mess, I will find out, by any means necessary?"
"Of course." She grinned. "As you would say, I am counting on it."
**********
End Part Three