AN: Yeah, back to the 'main' story now. I know, I know, I like detours.
Chapter Nine: Helpless to Heal
When they found her it all became even more of a blur to her. Someone was leaning over her trying to get some sign of life and as her eyes started to focus she could make out Take's blurry image wrought with concern. Her body was burning with the fever that had burst from her in the last moment of consciousness and Take almost dropped her hand when he took it. And still there was the toxic odor of the foul matter she lay in. Her mother was weeping, men were shouting, she was frightened… Loraefin moaned and flexed her fingers but was incapable of anything beyond that. Had she had a relapse of the Duvidth? No, she remembered now, she remembered what had happened…Joshuan was angry, so was Link, whose presence she could feel around her. She also heard someone begging far away, but it all seemed to close to the dream world for her to distinguish. 'This one's dead!' she heard someone shout and then the scrape of metal being drawn.
There was the vague sensation of being lifted and carried away, but she felt so heavy she couldn't see how anyone could lift her. When she woke again she was bouncing along nestled in between her mother and Kantherine in the back of a cart, wrapped tightly in a warm blanket, the mud and filth still matted in her hair. The sky was still dark and as she gained more and more senses she could see and hear her entire family about her with the gravest voices and expressions she had ever known them to have. Loraefin's mother cradled her in her arms and wept over her daughter, but all Loraefin was, was confused.
Her body was weak for days after and she would see no one but her mother. She didn't want anyone to see her. The fire, the fire with my face on the body…Lindie tended to her every need which were few for she would not set a foot out of bed for those first few days. For five days Loraefin spoke virtually nothing, ate too little to build up her strength, and felt so hollow inside that it nearly drove her mad. She couldn't sleep for when she did he would be there, a dark, looming figure on the edge of every dream that would send her bolt upright in bed in a heavy sweat.
Her innocents had been taken from her; she was spoiled, used goods, unclean. It had all happened so fast, just too fast for her to cope. She was afraid, terrified and confused. She thought she had been stronger than that, she thought that completing the Ground would have protected her from such things, but she was wrong. She would not be wrong again. Her Grandmother Usa determined that she was not with child, but Loraefin could have told her that, knowing the aching emptiness inside would keep any life from taking root within her womb. Nevertheless, she was relieved to see her courses come once again.
When she did gather the strength to part with the safety of her bed, Loraefin stumbled down the stairs on weak legs and across the long walk to the front door. Every step took a great amount of strength that she didn't feel she had. Everyone in the village was surprised and overjoyed to see her up and about, but knew enough to keep their distance yet. The younger children had been told she had come down with a cold, as the truth was too much for even the adults to say. Even her father kept his bit of distance from his daughter. Ever since that night, his little girl had shrunken from him whenever he came near. He knew it was not intentional, but he was a man and after her ordeal he did not blame her. Greysir only hoped that things would change in time, so did the other men in her life that loved her.
Day by day Loraefin grew stronger and her spirits seemed to lighten, but despite, her insides were still a bundle of confused thoughts. On the eighth day Link came to see her again, having come two times before and been turned away. When he came in he tried to smile, but Loraefin's sad, solemn eyes wiped any happy image he could conjure up. She was sitting at the stables with her grandmother Usa, an averaged height Gerudo woman with faded red hair, and Lindie's mother. Link came in through the open door and the trampled down hay and soft dirt masked the sounds of his footsteps.
Link wanted to speak with her alone, but Usa would not leave them and Loraefin did nothing to help so Link stood awkwardly some distance from her while Usa continued to separate clumps of wool for her loom. Link stepped closer and kneeled at Loraefin's feet, watching her eyes, watching her body tense ever so slightly as he came near.
His heart ached as he could feel her drawing away from him and he asked himself what horrible person could do this to my Loraefin? But he did know he was there when they found her crumpled and bleeding on the ground with her attackers no more than a few feet away unconscious and badly burnt from what he didn't know, but didn't care about at he time. He stayed at her feet and did not move and eventually he roused a little smile out of her. It was a weak smile, but it was the most beautiful thing Link could remember seeing in the past weeks since the Fall Bazaar.
"There's my girl," Link grinned, trying to make Loraefin's own smile bigger, "now how about a laugh for me?" Loraefin kept her timid smile but nothing more and he sighed knowing his defeat. "How are you feeling?"
"Better," her voice was still heavy with the herb potions her grandmother's had given her to help her sleep.
"Are you sleeping better? Last time I came to see you you're mother said you were having a hard time," he could feel his breath tremble in his throat as he looked at her, dark and closed off to him when everything used to be so open between them. Now there was an enormous wall built around her and if only he had been there he could have saved her from this. It hadn't been long before when he was checking up on her in this way, after she had finished the Ground and barely came out alive. Why did she play with his emotions that way?
"I slept through last night well enough, the Dalucody helps me sleep," she sat rigidly on the bench in an old worn dress Link had seen her wear many times before. Her family already had burned the burgundy dress from that night, destroying it completely. Link remembered it on her last, torn to reveal her bare chest and the bruises caked in mud and squalor with blood oozing from open wounds. The filth of the latrines was caked in her wild hair and was smeared all over her in the struggle. The smell had hit him first, before he even saw her, then the sight nearly brought him to his knees. They were silent for a long time until Link's breath caught in his throat and he bent his head to rest on her knees. Link felt her tense at his touch but he couldn't help what he did.
"By the Goddesses Fin, I should have been there, I should have been there!" He let out a sob and let his feelings of remorse wash over him. "It's all my fault! I'm supposed to protect you! This never should have happened to you! I'm supposed to protect you!" As he knelt at her foot letting the stifled, heavy sobs rack through him Loraefin looked helplessly at her grandmother. Usa got up and made to help Link to his feet but Loraefin waved her away.
She never thought she'd be comfortable with a man's touch again, but Link was so tender and weeping before her she could not turn him away. And he was her friend. She lifted her hand hesitantly at first, fingers trembling like the young man at her feet, and slowly she ran her hand through his soft hair. Link, feeling her small hands brush over his scalp, feeling her energy flowing through into him, lifted his arms wrapped them around her, hugging her waist and burying his face in her lap.
"Link, it's okay," Loraefin whispered stroking his head like he was a small child. "Link, how could you have known? It is not your fault." But I needed someone and no one was there. She tried to lift his head so she could look at him, but he wouldn't lift it, he wouldn't let her see his tears.
"Oh, Fin," he moaned, "Fin, forgive me… I can't forgive myself." His strong arms were heavy around her and she could feel the lean muscle through the layers of fabric, capable of breaking every bone in her body if he wished. Loraefin was so taken aback that she could only stare at him for a moment. She had never seen him so tender, so caring, it was as if he was trying to make up for a great wrong he had done her, but her rape was not of his doing.
"There is nothing to forgive Link, it wasn't your fault," she began.
"Please Fin!" Link choked, face buried above her knees, "please, just say you forgive me!"
Loraefin held her tongue at first as Link knelt with lowered head at her feet. When she found her voice again it was weak and deafly soft.
"I forgive you Link," she whispered and with that he nodded his head and stood. Link leaned forward, kissed her quickly on the cheek in good-bye, and fled from the stable. As he brushed past the door Lycus came in, but Link was gone before he could speak. Lycus saw the look on Loraefin and Usa's face and looked back at Link who was hurrying away.
"Did I miss something?" He asked. Loraefin could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, but she had sworn to herself that she would never cry over the attack again and she would keep her vow. She shrugged her shoulders and kept silent, but Lycus could tell by the demeanor of her eyes what had happened. In any other situation he would have embraced her to comfort her, but Lycus knew she would shrink from him. Judging from Link's hurried departure, he could guess whatever it was that had happened was important. So was the news he brought with him from the village. Tiamra, the leader of the Gerudo, had come to pay a visit.