Say Huh? Karaoke
The Madness Ensues…
Disclaimer: See previous chapter.
~~~
-The screen opens on JADYN standing on-stage, microphone in hand. KURT has been swept somewhere-
JADYN: Welcome back to the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. No, wait, that's "Whose Line is It Anyway?". The points do matter here. Time to re-meet our almost-celebrity judges! First, judging lyrics, Remy LeBeau!
-REMY waves-
JADYN: Next, judging style, Spike!
-SPIKE grins-
JADYN: And last, judging performance, Shelly!
-SHELLY leaps into the camera like a rabid TRL fan-
JADYN: Someone get that girl her shots! Anyway, who knows what it's time for?
AUDIENCE: Uhhh…
JADYN: That's right! It's time for our next contestant!
-The AUDIENCE cheers-
JADYN: From Victoria, Texas, he's a bald S.O.B. and he's here to…beat the living [expletive deleted] out of his competitors? Who wrote that on the card? Anyway, Steve Austin!
-STEVE AUSTIN comes out flicking the AUDIENCE off. They cheer madly-
JADYN: Well, Steve, what are you performing today?
STEVE: What?
JADYN: I said…
STEVE: What?
AUDIENCE: What?
STEVE: What? I'm gonna sing my version of "Gone" by NSYNC. What? And if anybody has a problem, they can come and "discuss" it with me.
JADYN: Okay… Here's Steve doing his version of "Gone"!
-The lights dim and when they come back up, STEVE is wearing all name- brands and leather pants-
STEVE: *There's a thousand moves that I could do
To win you back home.
Seems so long ago I lost you, gold
To Chris Jericho.
And I remember how you fit 'round my waist
So damn perfectly.
Maybe I was to blind to see
That Vince and Chris are so gay.*
*Was it some move I did,
Didn't pull it just right?
My Stunner was harder than hell.
If I could just find a way to get another title match, sometime soon*
*I been sittin' here,
Can't get you off my mind.
I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong.
I've drove Debra insane,
Talkin' 'bout you all the day.
But the truth remains you're gone.
You're gone.
Title, you're gone.
Gold, you're gone.*
*Now, I don't want to make anybody bleed.
Well, actually, I do.
But if there's some cheat that I could pull,
Won't you please let me know?
And time is passin' so slowly now,
Because you're not here to shine.
And maybe I could win the Euro belt
But, Title, I don't want to.*
*So I'll just hang around,
Find some beer to drink
To take my mind off missin' you.
And I know in my heart,
You can't say that you don't know I do.
Please say you do. Yeah!*
*I been sittin' here,
Can't get you off my mind.
I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong.
I've drove Debra insane,
Talkin' 'bout you all the day.
But the truth remains you're gone.
You're gone.
Title, you're gone.
Gold, you're gone.*
*What will I do,
If I can't polish you.
Title, where will I turn to? Baby, ooh
Now that we are apart
You are still in my heart.
Title, oh, can't you see
That I need you here with me?*
*I been sittin' here,
Can't get you off my mind.
I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong.
I've drove Debra insane,
Talkin' 'bout you all the day.
But the truth remains you're gone.
You're gone.
Title, you're gone.
Gold, you're gone.*
-STEVE bows to thunderous applause. JADYN walks over, wiping a tear out of her eye-
JADYN: Wow, Steve, that was great. Let's go to our judges.
REMY: Homme, dat was wonderful. And de lyrics weren't bad eit'er. Remy gives you a nine!
-STEVE grins-
JADYN: All right. Spike?
SPIKE: Man, you look just as great as a member of a boyband as you do wrestling. An eight, pet!
-STEVE cheers-
JADYN: I hope you meant me! All right, Shelly. Your turn.
-SHELLY is weeping. She merely holds up the nine card-
-STEVE lets out a big "What?"-
JADYN: Okay. Your score is twenty-six, Steve. Go take a seat with Kurt.
-STEVE goes and sits by KURT, who has regained conciousness-
JADYN: Stay tuned! We'll be back after this!
The Madness Ensues…
Disclaimer: See previous chapter.
~~~
-The screen opens on JADYN standing on-stage, microphone in hand. KURT has been swept somewhere-
JADYN: Welcome back to the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. No, wait, that's "Whose Line is It Anyway?". The points do matter here. Time to re-meet our almost-celebrity judges! First, judging lyrics, Remy LeBeau!
-REMY waves-
JADYN: Next, judging style, Spike!
-SPIKE grins-
JADYN: And last, judging performance, Shelly!
-SHELLY leaps into the camera like a rabid TRL fan-
JADYN: Someone get that girl her shots! Anyway, who knows what it's time for?
AUDIENCE: Uhhh…
JADYN: That's right! It's time for our next contestant!
-The AUDIENCE cheers-
JADYN: From Victoria, Texas, he's a bald S.O.B. and he's here to…beat the living [expletive deleted] out of his competitors? Who wrote that on the card? Anyway, Steve Austin!
-STEVE AUSTIN comes out flicking the AUDIENCE off. They cheer madly-
JADYN: Well, Steve, what are you performing today?
STEVE: What?
JADYN: I said…
STEVE: What?
AUDIENCE: What?
STEVE: What? I'm gonna sing my version of "Gone" by NSYNC. What? And if anybody has a problem, they can come and "discuss" it with me.
JADYN: Okay… Here's Steve doing his version of "Gone"!
-The lights dim and when they come back up, STEVE is wearing all name- brands and leather pants-
STEVE: *There's a thousand moves that I could do
To win you back home.
Seems so long ago I lost you, gold
To Chris Jericho.
And I remember how you fit 'round my waist
So damn perfectly.
Maybe I was to blind to see
That Vince and Chris are so gay.*
*Was it some move I did,
Didn't pull it just right?
My Stunner was harder than hell.
If I could just find a way to get another title match, sometime soon*
*I been sittin' here,
Can't get you off my mind.
I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong.
I've drove Debra insane,
Talkin' 'bout you all the day.
But the truth remains you're gone.
You're gone.
Title, you're gone.
Gold, you're gone.*
*Now, I don't want to make anybody bleed.
Well, actually, I do.
But if there's some cheat that I could pull,
Won't you please let me know?
And time is passin' so slowly now,
Because you're not here to shine.
And maybe I could win the Euro belt
But, Title, I don't want to.*
*So I'll just hang around,
Find some beer to drink
To take my mind off missin' you.
And I know in my heart,
You can't say that you don't know I do.
Please say you do. Yeah!*
*I been sittin' here,
Can't get you off my mind.
I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong.
I've drove Debra insane,
Talkin' 'bout you all the day.
But the truth remains you're gone.
You're gone.
Title, you're gone.
Gold, you're gone.*
*What will I do,
If I can't polish you.
Title, where will I turn to? Baby, ooh
Now that we are apart
You are still in my heart.
Title, oh, can't you see
That I need you here with me?*
*I been sittin' here,
Can't get you off my mind.
I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong.
I've drove Debra insane,
Talkin' 'bout you all the day.
But the truth remains you're gone.
You're gone.
Title, you're gone.
Gold, you're gone.*
-STEVE bows to thunderous applause. JADYN walks over, wiping a tear out of her eye-
JADYN: Wow, Steve, that was great. Let's go to our judges.
REMY: Homme, dat was wonderful. And de lyrics weren't bad eit'er. Remy gives you a nine!
-STEVE grins-
JADYN: All right. Spike?
SPIKE: Man, you look just as great as a member of a boyband as you do wrestling. An eight, pet!
-STEVE cheers-
JADYN: I hope you meant me! All right, Shelly. Your turn.
-SHELLY is weeping. She merely holds up the nine card-
-STEVE lets out a big "What?"-
JADYN: Okay. Your score is twenty-six, Steve. Go take a seat with Kurt.
-STEVE goes and sits by KURT, who has regained conciousness-
JADYN: Stay tuned! We'll be back after this!