Say Huh? Karaoke

And The Third Contestant Is…

 

Disclaimer: See chapter one.

~~~

-We open back up on JADYN, who is sitting in SPIKE'S lap-

JADYN: Welcome back to 'Say Huh? Karaoke', the best rip-off of MTV you could hope for. And it's time for the last contestant. From somewhere, England, this guy specializes in the use of brass knuckles and the wearing of ugly shorts. Please welcome William Regal!

-Unenthusiastic applause-

JADYN: Hi Will. What are you going to sing for us today?

WILLIAM: I'm going to sing my version of Janet Jackson's "Someone To Call My Lover".

SPIKE: Hey, the bloke's English!

JADYN: I told you that. Anyway, here's Willie Regal singing "Someone To Call My Lover".

-The lights dim again and when they come back up, WILLIAM is wearing a gold zoot suit-

WILLIAM:* Back in the ring again,

Feelin' kind of weak and then

Vince gave me brass knuckles

To call mine.

JR says I'm crazy 'cause

I use the power of the punch.

But I've never been disqualified,

And that's fine.*

 

*Maybe they'll knock you out

Or make you fall right down.

I'll pin you one, two, three

And then you'll scream at me.

But it don't matter 'cause,

I've got your title belt.

The ref will never know, maybe.*

 

*Alright, maybe gonna win today

I gotta find someplace to hide these knuckles

Yeah baby, come on.

Alright, in my shorts they'll have to stay

I gotta find someplace else to hide these things*

 

*I E Yi*

 

*I beat Spike Dudley without my metal fists

But I must have got him pissed.

'Cause the runt came out and cheated

So bad.

With my own knucks

He hit my head

And stole my title, Euro champ

But at least he made up with his bro,

Bubba Ray.*

 

*Maybe they'll knock you out

Or make you fall right down.

I'll pin you one, two, three

And then you'll scream at me.

But it don't matter 'cause,

I've got your title belt.

The ref will never know, maybe.*

 

*Alright, maybe gonna win today

I gotta find someplace to hide these knuckles

Yeah baby, come on.

Alright, in my shorts they'll have to stay

I gotta find someplace else to hide these things*

 

*I E Yi*

 

*Maybe they'll knock you out

Or make you fall right down.

I'll pin you one, two, three

And then you'll scream at me.

But it don't matter 'cause,

I've got your title belt.

The ref will never know, maybe.*

 

*Alright, maybe gonna win today

I gotta find someplace to hide these knuckles

Yeah baby, come on.

Alright, in my shorts they'll have to stay

I gotta find someplace else to hide these things*

 

-WILLIAM bows. JADYN turns to REMY-

JADYN: Lyrics, Gambit?

REMY: Mon ami, your lyrical abilities are atrocious, and de tale you told was 'orrible. Remy says…six.

-WILLIAM grumbles-

JADYN: Okay. Spike?

SPIKE: Well, his suit is less than appealing. Should'a gone with black pinstripes mate. But, since you're a fellow Englishman and all, I'll give you and extra point. Seven!

JADYN: Okay, Bill. You've got a thirteen. Now Shelly.

SHELLY: What can I say? You gotta love a guy who admits he cheats. Eight!

JADYN: Okay. William, your score is twenty-one. Steve, Kurt, come out here.

-STEVE and KURT come running out, still in their costumes-

JADYN: Okay, our scores are Kurt with ten, William with twenty-one and Steve with twenty-seven. Unfortunately, we have to say good-bye to our contestant with the least points. And that's you Kurt! Bye!

-KURT starts to cry again, and runs off-stage-

JADYN: But our remaining competitors will go on to face… THE WHEEL OF ALMOST-DEATH! So, stay tuned!

-JADYN leaps into REMY'S lap. KANE has somehow been transported into this show, and SHELLY is now chasing him around the stage. SPIKE is having a make-out session with a random fan. My god, I've created a monster…-