1.1.1 Chapter One
You know I think Christmas was a long red glare,
Shot up like a warning, we gave presents without cards,
And then the snow,
And then the snow came, we were always out shoveling,
And we'd drop to sleep exhausted,
Then we'd wake up, and it's snowing.
-Dar Williams, "February"
schooling
As was his habit, Alex paused, leaning against the doorjamb before heading down the school hallway.
Since his return from Sweden, he had been desperately trying to figure out the new dynamics of the group. Things had changed, and no one was willing to talk about the real problems underneath it all. It worried him that everyone in the group now seemed to be keeping secrets from everyone else.
And nobody was happy. He sighed. None of them had really been happy since last May. Almost a year ago, he realized in shock. It had been almost a year since they had been really happy. What a mess.
From his position in the doorway, he had found, he could see all that he needed to of both hallways of lockers. The way they L'ed wasn't quite perpendicular. So he could see Max's, Isabel's, and Maria's lockers to the left, as well as Liz's and Kyle's lockers on the other side of the hall, and Michael's and Tess's lockers were directly in front of him, at the head of the next hallway. Yes, he was in prime position to watch everyone. And they definitely needed watching.
No one looked like they were sleeping anymore. Alex had been working on figuring out the source of their individual nightmares, but so far only had vague ideas for most of them.
Max looked sick as he leaned against his closed locker beside Iz. He was trying to look relaxed, but he looked exhausted. He looked as if he was wearing out, but, at the same time, he had a desperately hopeful look in his eyes as he searched the hall for Liz's entrance. Alex had the definite impression that Max was holding on to any and all hope available. But Alex couldn't know for sure. Max wasn't talking, which was no surprise. The guy was kidnapped and tortured by the FBI and he didn't talk. Whatever was getting to him now, though, it was worse.
And, of course, it had everything to do with Parker, who, for being one of the Three Musketeers, was appallingly tight-lipped. Alex knew that wasn't good. Liz had sworn to him that she would never keep another secret from him again, but from the terrified, haunted look in her eyes most of the time, Alex knew that this was bigger than the 'aliens among us' line. Much bigger. And that scared him. He had to talk to DeLuca about this – but neither Maria nor Liz had gotten here early this morning. He sighed, hoping that the Jetta hadn't had another break down. Since its run-in with the FBI, the car simply hadn't been the same.
Alex really wished he could ask Isabel if she knew what was wrong with Max and Liz. In fact, he simply wished he could talk to Iz, but she wasn't in much better shape than the rest. Today, as she stood at her locker, slowly pulling out papers and occasionally glancing at the mirror she had hung in her locker to adjust a strand of hair or wipe a finger under her lower lashes, she looked delicate. And Alex wasn't one to underestimate Iz's strengths, either. He knew that she could be as strong as she chose to be – which, in most cases, was indestructibly strong – but something was wearing her down.
Alex was distracted when someone bumped into his shoulder. He turned in surprise to see a silent Kyle and Tess walking past him. Now there were interesting people, he thought. They had been the outsiders at the beginning of the summer, and still seemed very much on the outside of everything. But not really. Right now, Alex felt more outside the group than they were.
Alex was surprised to realize that Liz had arrived while he was distracted. Max was staring at her, and where once Liz would have stared back, now she looked anywhere but at Max. Now there was something to worry about: Liz was on the verge of collapse. In the shirt she wore today, he could see the jutting of her collarbone, and her elbows stuck out painfully. She was losing weight, and her face was more worn than Max's. Alex was overwhelmed by the urge to grab Liz, sit her down, force feed her, and slip her a sleeping pill. She had begun drifting away from them since Vegas.
As Kyle and Tess approached the others, Alex was struck by the way everyone momentarily froze in a painful tableau. Liz and Max looking at each other without looking at each other, and Tess and Kyle frozen between pulling together and pulling apart.
Alex figured that the way Tess and Kyle walked together defined their relationship and all of their problems in a nutshell. They seemed to drift impossibly close together whenever it was just the two of them, but then they yanked apart as they approached the others. Tess drifted toward Max; Kyle toward Liz; a word was exchanged by each, and they passed. They always met again on the other side of the group. That was the way Kyle and Tess were. They wanted to be together, but they both had already established the rules that meant they couldn't be.
Alex jolted from where he leaned against the doorframe when the bell rang. Maria and Michael had arrived in a whirlwind of concerned and frustrated looks. Neither looked like they had slept much either, but they didn't seem to be consumed by internal conflict. Maria was acting like a mother hen with Liz, and Michael was watching around the group for any sign of danger. Alex figured that if anyone could keep this group safe and sane through whatever was coming, it would be Michael with his preparedness for battle, and Maria with her worry for everyone's mental health.
Pushing off to go to class, Alex thought ruefully that maybe he should go to Dr DeLuca for some herbal remedies of his own. Whether he wanted it or not, he was in for one hell of a ride, he thought, as his eyes drifted in worry back to Isabel. Yeah, one hell of a Czechoslovakian ride.
You know I think Christmas was a long red glare,
Shot up like a warning, we gave presents without cards,
And then the snow,
And then the snow came, we were always out shoveling,
And we'd drop to sleep exhausted,
Then we'd wake up, and it's snowing.
-Dar Williams, "February"
schooling
As was his habit, Alex paused, leaning against the doorjamb before heading down the school hallway.
Since his return from Sweden, he had been desperately trying to figure out the new dynamics of the group. Things had changed, and no one was willing to talk about the real problems underneath it all. It worried him that everyone in the group now seemed to be keeping secrets from everyone else.
And nobody was happy. He sighed. None of them had really been happy since last May. Almost a year ago, he realized in shock. It had been almost a year since they had been really happy. What a mess.
From his position in the doorway, he had found, he could see all that he needed to of both hallways of lockers. The way they L'ed wasn't quite perpendicular. So he could see Max's, Isabel's, and Maria's lockers to the left, as well as Liz's and Kyle's lockers on the other side of the hall, and Michael's and Tess's lockers were directly in front of him, at the head of the next hallway. Yes, he was in prime position to watch everyone. And they definitely needed watching.
No one looked like they were sleeping anymore. Alex had been working on figuring out the source of their individual nightmares, but so far only had vague ideas for most of them.
Max looked sick as he leaned against his closed locker beside Iz. He was trying to look relaxed, but he looked exhausted. He looked as if he was wearing out, but, at the same time, he had a desperately hopeful look in his eyes as he searched the hall for Liz's entrance. Alex had the definite impression that Max was holding on to any and all hope available. But Alex couldn't know for sure. Max wasn't talking, which was no surprise. The guy was kidnapped and tortured by the FBI and he didn't talk. Whatever was getting to him now, though, it was worse.
And, of course, it had everything to do with Parker, who, for being one of the Three Musketeers, was appallingly tight-lipped. Alex knew that wasn't good. Liz had sworn to him that she would never keep another secret from him again, but from the terrified, haunted look in her eyes most of the time, Alex knew that this was bigger than the 'aliens among us' line. Much bigger. And that scared him. He had to talk to DeLuca about this – but neither Maria nor Liz had gotten here early this morning. He sighed, hoping that the Jetta hadn't had another break down. Since its run-in with the FBI, the car simply hadn't been the same.
Alex really wished he could ask Isabel if she knew what was wrong with Max and Liz. In fact, he simply wished he could talk to Iz, but she wasn't in much better shape than the rest. Today, as she stood at her locker, slowly pulling out papers and occasionally glancing at the mirror she had hung in her locker to adjust a strand of hair or wipe a finger under her lower lashes, she looked delicate. And Alex wasn't one to underestimate Iz's strengths, either. He knew that she could be as strong as she chose to be – which, in most cases, was indestructibly strong – but something was wearing her down.
Alex was distracted when someone bumped into his shoulder. He turned in surprise to see a silent Kyle and Tess walking past him. Now there were interesting people, he thought. They had been the outsiders at the beginning of the summer, and still seemed very much on the outside of everything. But not really. Right now, Alex felt more outside the group than they were.
Alex was surprised to realize that Liz had arrived while he was distracted. Max was staring at her, and where once Liz would have stared back, now she looked anywhere but at Max. Now there was something to worry about: Liz was on the verge of collapse. In the shirt she wore today, he could see the jutting of her collarbone, and her elbows stuck out painfully. She was losing weight, and her face was more worn than Max's. Alex was overwhelmed by the urge to grab Liz, sit her down, force feed her, and slip her a sleeping pill. She had begun drifting away from them since Vegas.
As Kyle and Tess approached the others, Alex was struck by the way everyone momentarily froze in a painful tableau. Liz and Max looking at each other without looking at each other, and Tess and Kyle frozen between pulling together and pulling apart.
Alex figured that the way Tess and Kyle walked together defined their relationship and all of their problems in a nutshell. They seemed to drift impossibly close together whenever it was just the two of them, but then they yanked apart as they approached the others. Tess drifted toward Max; Kyle toward Liz; a word was exchanged by each, and they passed. They always met again on the other side of the group. That was the way Kyle and Tess were. They wanted to be together, but they both had already established the rules that meant they couldn't be.
Alex jolted from where he leaned against the doorframe when the bell rang. Maria and Michael had arrived in a whirlwind of concerned and frustrated looks. Neither looked like they had slept much either, but they didn't seem to be consumed by internal conflict. Maria was acting like a mother hen with Liz, and Michael was watching around the group for any sign of danger. Alex figured that if anyone could keep this group safe and sane through whatever was coming, it would be Michael with his preparedness for battle, and Maria with her worry for everyone's mental health.
Pushing off to go to class, Alex thought ruefully that maybe he should go to Dr DeLuca for some herbal remedies of his own. Whether he wanted it or not, he was in for one hell of a ride, he thought, as his eyes drifted in worry back to Isabel. Yeah, one hell of a Czechoslovakian ride.