Disclaimer- DBZ belongs to Akira Toriyama *mayhebepraisedforever* and I don't own it.
A/N- Well since Untitled Vignette garnered so many reviews (at least for me it was a lot) this is a follow up. Thanks to everyone that told I should continue this. But this deals with Gohan's thoughts of not only his father but Vegeta as well. The god's brother reference comes from the series The Reality Dysfunction by Peter F. Hamilton. With guest stars Piccolo and Chichi and the Briefs family. This is supposed to end really sad like, heh heh heh…
REFLECTIONS
Is this really real? Gohan always questioned, he questioned why things happened, it was part of his scholastic nature. And now he questioned reality. His father was dead, but Goku never died. If he did it was only temporary. But now it was forever, it was real. And it hurt. It hurt the most when he forgot, and had fun. It was cut short by the image of his father's dead body.
Why are you gone, how did I fail? Gohan was a perfectionist, the reason he was so hard on himself. It came from his mother he thought. But now it hurt, it cut deeply as his failures mounted and mounted. His mother had moved on, she mourned deeply, but she had kept going, she lived in his father's memory.
But she never failed you. To Gohan, there was evil and good, and then there was him. His mother was good, his friends were good, hell even Vegeta was good. But he wasn't he existed between the two, he fought himself for control. His human side gave him fear that made him fail, and his Sayaijn side gave him unfathomable rage and bestiality.
My own personal serpent beast. He remembered meeting that strange man, discovering the cult of God's Brother, it had freaked him out, getting lost in the city was never a good idea even if you could level it with a gesture. They were wrong worshipping the ideal of Satan, but they were right, everyone had a serpent beast. Gohan was faced with two choices, control the serpent beast and fail for forever, or release it and become something terrible and fail all the same.
The cold was still there, he could feel it growing.
I always fail, life isn't something I deserve. Sometimes he just got depressed, he was on the verge of puberty and his hormones were acting up, but on top of that he had blood on his hands. And his father was dead damn him.
My head hurts… He clenched his head between his hands. So many words, thoughts and feelings were weighing in on him. He felt something inside that was so hollow, his heart beat in an empty chest, and his mouth was dry. His hands shook, the shaking was so hard, he was so very weak. He could feel the beast inside him clamoring for release. He didn't know what he might have done next but suddenly Vegeta was there. He stared, captivated by the Sayaijn's eyes.
All was brought short by Vegeta's eyes.
They were so like his fathers right then. The stance was cold and arrogant, but his eyes had actual compassion, but it was compassion that he didn't deserve. There was no pity, Vegeta didn't wish to hurt him, but there was something worse there. Understanding.
You feel this too, you know this emptiness. Share with me, let me in, and let me be real.
Damn you Kakarot. He'd said it so many times, so very many times. Each time it got harder. The pain had receded, he was numb now. He'd always been numb. But looking at Gohan, there was such innocence there. The boy had killed, but not in the way Vegeta had. Vegeta looked at him in wonder, there was true innocence in those eyes. Vegeta reached out and touched the boy's hair. Gohan's eyes looked vacant.
He's not here Gohan, get over it. No one ever comes back for you. When they're gone it's for good. Never hope and it never hurts, and that's all you have. Vegeta blinked, something about the boy wasn't right. Then Gohan just collapsed limply. Vegeta caught him swiftly. He felt so odd, holding the boy, feeling his rising chest, the rhythmic beat of the heart. He felt so protective, something fierce and burning.
Damn you Kakarot. There, it hurt now, cursing the only one to
understand him. He wondered why. He never opened up to Kakarot, but somehow the
bastard understood him, knew what he was, and didn't mention it. His
thoughts suddenly turned to Bulma. He could smell her scent on his clothes, and
could smell something strange on the boy. He inhaled deeply, then he pinpointed
it, he smelled death on the boy.
FATHER! Imploring, Gohan had failed again. He had killed Piccolo through his failure; he had abandoned his friends so many times and each time the failure… He felt the will to live drifting from him, oozing out of his pores; the vile reality was going away.
I won't fail again, I won't fail anyone again.
"Gohan!" Piccolo shouted. His eyes snapped open and his ki flared around him. He felt the boy's ki slipping away, that death was approaching his pupil. His son. Gohan was his son, he was his friend, and he was his anchor. The boy was everything to the Namek that valued nothing but power.
Don't you dare die on me boy. He flew faster than he ever had before, he would save him or die trying.
"Oh Goku." Chichi cried. It was everything now, sobbing was her life, she couldn't go on. There was actually dust on the table. The house was immaculate, but for Chichi it was horrendously dirty. She cradled her head in her hands. Then she stopped. Something wasn't right. Chichi had once been a warrior, and as with the power that all mothers had and that ki sense, she felt something wrong.
Gohan? I have lost Goku but never will I lose my baby boy. A mother scared for her child is the most dangerous opponent in any species. Chichi rose quickly and ran outside, following some instinct buried deep within her gut, she would find her child.
"I failed." Gohan murmured softly, his face creased with pain making him far older than his years. Vegeta suddenly growled, he had lost patience for this!
"Listen to me boy," He now held Gohan by his shoulders and shook him, "Your father is dead, that is that. Kakarot is dead damn it and there is nothing we can-" He stopped, had he just said what he thought he said. Life suddenly returned to Gohan's eyes, awareness. He smiled crookedly, his face covered in tear streaks.
"Thank you Vegeta."
Vegeta held still unsure what to do. He felt Piccolo approaching, the
Namek's very ki felt urgent and concerned. He looked at the boy who was
approaching manhood, who represented the new future Vegeta had, with his
beautiful earth woman. And his son…He might be half human but he will
be warrior bar none.
Gohan, my son. Piccolo couldn't remember when he started thinking of Gohan as his son, as his child. He didn't hate Kakarot or Chichi, but he felt they could have done better for their precious boy. Gohan floated into his arms. With a glare at Vegeta that dared him to comment Piccolo returned the hug. To his surprise he saw the faintest glimpse of dampness in the Sayaijn's eyes. The two looked at each other, and understood in a way no one else would be able to.
"Piccolo, it hurts so much." Piccolo sighed; he didn't know quite what he was supposed to do, at least not with Vegeta standing there.
"When you're done being mushy and feminine I'll be over there." Piccolo stiffened, not the words but at the implied insult. Gohan turned a teary face to Vegeta.
"Thank you Vegeta, father was right about you." Vegeta looked taken back, and the fled into the forest before he did something, unseemly.
Why him, why not me? He'd never had anyone to hang onto, his father had been brutal with him, making it easier for Vegeta to tolerate his life with Frieza, but Vegeta was still bitter. It smoldered and festered like a wound gone bad, Kakarot had been the only one who understood… Except for that woman, but all she wanted to do was talk and talk. She couldn't fight it out of him, and that was only way her could release it. Kakarot had understood that…
Goku, help me! Chichi ran, but she wasn't quite sure where to go now, the burst of adrenaline that had fueled her was gone now, she was alone with the trees and her sorrow, and her fear for her child. I always knew this would happen, I would drive Gohan away, if only I'd held on tighter. Chichi knew that Gohan would want to fight like his father, she was so scared of losing him and Goku she held on as tight as she could, not thinking that maybe that drove them off.
GOKU. She stopped and began to cry. Suddenly a feather light touch brushed her cheek. Her breathing slowed as a strange peace filled her, she felt illuminated by ki. Then something soft and strange brushed her chest. She opened her eyes, not remembering them being closed. The flying nimbus hovered in front of her, and she remembered that first ride.
"Oh Goku, honey, be careful." And she stepped on. "Take me to my baby, find Gohan." And it flew.
"Hey guys, here we are, I finally found it!" Bulma shouted. Chichi who was washing from the gigantic dinner they had just eaten smiled softly. Gohan who was doing homework smiled but his eyes began to fill a little. Vegeta heard her over the intercom in the gravity chamber and sighed. She'd come get him if he didn't vamoose.
Bulma waddled into the room; in the final stage of her pregnancy she was ungainly, at best. She held in her hands a scrapbook, one that showed some wear and tear. Gohan bounced onto a couch while Chichi sat demurely in an armchair. Bulma eased herself down onto the couch while Vegeta stood behind her. She eased it open and smiled sadly down at the pictures. And then she took them step-by-step through the adventures of the original dragon ball hunt.
As she neared a close Bulma felt an odd sensation in her abdomen. Suddenly her loose dress felt very wet…
"AHH AHH CHICHI I JUST BROKE MY WATER. VEGETA!" Bulma was almost hysterical. Chichi got and held Bulma's hand. Vegeta looked panicked, as with most men he was paralyzed at the thought that his son was on his way into the world. Chichi kept her head though, she knew what to do. After a minute Bulma's parents were up and they were getting Bulma into a car and had called the hospital.
They were there within minutes. Vegeta having regained his senses grew quickly impatient with traffic and carried the car to the hospital. Dr. Briefs held his head; the reporters are going to have a field day…
They hurried through the hospital and Bulma was placed in a room, her contractions beginning. Pain was shooting through her body, intense waves followed by her muscles tensing and un-tensing[i]. A few hours later, Trunks Vegeta Briefs was born. Bulma held him softly, her eyes moist both with happiness and pain. Chichi cooed while Gohan stared in amazement. Dr. Briefs smiled smugly while Mrs. Briefs cooed in tandem with Chichi. Vegeta held back unsure how to approach. Finally Bulma offered his son to him. Vegeta hung for a moment, torn, until Chichi suddenly pressed him into Vegeta's arms. Vegeta held him uncomfortably, he wasn't quite sure how although it- he- weighed next to nothing for him.
In that room, something happened, the weight was lifted from their hearts, Goku might be gone, but new life was there for them. For one, acceptance, new life, and new love made something in him break, and finally Vegeta began to lose his pain. And he found the he could hope again. They all did, they all hoped for the future, secure in their belief that all would be right.
Sometimes, fate is very cruel.
Final note- Well, if you liked this let me know, I'll take angst Vignette requests from people, if anyone wants something in particular. But I leave so on the 27th so don't expect anything soon as I don't get back till the 21st of August or thereabouts.
[i] For those of you with sick minds, doesn't pregnancy sound like the opposite of an orgasm? There are the physical contractions but instead of waves of pleasure there is pain so intense you can become lightheaded… Just my sick little mind at work here, no worries.