As soon as we got home Logan ran right up stairs. Not to his room but to hers we heard him close the door and lock it with a resounding click. We could hear is feet pace above us as we all huddled together in the rec. room. We paired off seeking whatever comfort we could. Gambit was in an overstuffed lounge chair and Rogue sat on his lap sobbing a little. Storm, Bobby and Hank all shared a couch as they stared numbly at their surroundings, shock was setting in. And then Jean and I sat together holding each other; I am lightly rubbing her back as her tears wet my uniform. A minute later we heard the door unlock and the sounds of his heavy footfalls on the stairs. Logan entered the room holding videotape.
"This was laying on Jubilee's desk, I think we should all watch it."
"Do you know what's on the tape?"
"Nope, just found it laying out in the open."
He put the tape in the VCR and dimmed the lights in the room. Then he took a seat on the floor next to the couch, where she usually sat at his feet.
The couple of seconds of static caused us all to jump. Then the picture turned all black but we could hear sounds, A sound none of us ever expected to hear again. It was Jubilee, cussing at the video camera. "Alright I know this damm thing is on. The little red light is blinking but why isn't there a picture. Shit, stupid lens cap is still on. A slight rustling could be heard in the background, then black picture vanished to be replaced with a blurry image that later focused into a hand. The camera zoomed out to show Jubilee; her hands propped behind her head leaning back in a chair.
Well, if you are watching this tape it means one of two things. One you went in my room without permission and found this tape sitting on my desk and now you are watching it. My suggestion to you is put the tape back now and pray I don't blast you to kingdom come when I find out that you watched it. Before, you think I won't find out remember who my best bud is, Wolvie he will smell you a mile away.
Not scared off huh? If you are still watching this then my anger must not scare you. In that case I must be dead. And you should watch this tape. I always wondered how I was going to die. After seeing enough death you begin to be curious about that sort of thing. I hope whatever I was doing was worthwhile, that my sacrifice was worth something. I was never the type that wants to die a lingering death in a bed 70 years from now.
My thought drift to my actions that brought us to this place. It started like it always does, we were on a mission. The brotherhood and Magneto were stirring up trouble around a nuclear plant. Not the best place for us to have a fight. We kept trying to pull the fight away from the plant, so we wouldn't accidentally damage something. But, whatever they were looking for in that plant they weren't going to leave until they had it. The first warning bell went off in my head when alarms started sounding around the compound.
I contacted Hank. "What's happening Hank?"
"It would seem that Magneto must have done something to cause the nuclear reactor to
Meltdown."
"Can you stop it?'
"No the computer control panel his been fried. And the control rods have been removed."
"Do we have time to get away?"
"Yes, but the nuclear fallout will cover two inhabited towns. The loss of life will be substantial."
At that point I mentally started reviewing the options. To stop the nuclear explosion, and save all the people:
Wolverine- claws Vs a nuclear explosion- nope no contest.
Jean- she could throw up a telekinetic shield around the reactor but she couldn't contain the explosion and the fallout.
Beast- out, Gambit- out,
Rouge- out even her super-strength couldn't stop this.
My blast would do nothing.
Storm- possible if she could cool the reactor down fast enough but there is a limit to her cold and how long she could hold it. Maybe if I teamed her and Iceman together they might be able to keep the reactor cool enough until we got some new control rods.
Jubilee- ability to explode matter on a sub atomic level.
She could change the structure of the material making it inert. It might cause a big explosion but no cloud of nuclear radiation blanketing the earth. She was the best option. Only back on the team for a week and already I was going to send her on a dangerous task. This was the whole reason Jubilee went down to Gen X. Not that she wasn't good enough to stay with us. It was that I didn't want to have to be faced with the decision where she might get hurt. In the end however, Jubilee was the best choice for this situation, my decision was made. The hours that it has seemed to have passed for me, was only a second in the real world. Beast didn't even notice the pause. "Beast send Jubilee over to me.
Jubilee's voice came over the comm. link. "I heard you boss, I'll be right there. Are you still by the front door?"
"Yes I am".
Jubilee came bouncing up to me still full of energy even during a tough fight. "Jubilee, Magneto has the plant set to meltdown. He took the control rods so Hank can't stop the reaction." She nodded and I could see the budding tactician working in her.
"Can we get away?"
"Yes, but the surrounding towns can't."
"How many people?"
"Hank said tens of thousands."
"So what are we going to do?"
"I have a plan but it's not a very good one. You can alter the structure of atoms, right?"
"Yup, so you want me to try to render the nuclear core inert. That's still likely to make a big boom you know."
"An explosion we can deal with. Nuclear fallout we can't. If you don't think you can do this Jubilee then tell me. I need to know now. I'll think of some other plan, and we can always leave."
"And let those people die? No way Cyke, I can do it. I have to.
In that moment I knew that Jubilee would give all the energy she had to stop the meltdown.
"You guys going to jet off?"
"No you are staying, were staying. Beside the blast might cause an electromagnetic pulse and fry the Blackbird circuits."
"Well get them all under some cover Cyke. And keep a grip on Wolvie he's gonna blow a gasket when he find out."
Jubilee ran into the building without another glance back. I recalled the team back to the Blackbird. I was the last one in the plane and I bolted the door.
She was so accepting of my orders. Why didn't she talk back to me or question them. Why didn't she doubt me like I doubted myself at that moment?
Cyke, I think you've earned this Jubilee got up from her chair and stood. The camera refocused and then she did something unexpected. Jubilee smartly clicked her heals together and stood at attention then her arm snapped up to give a salute. After holding that holding that pose for a moment, she lowered her arm and sat back down. I do respect you fearless leader, even when you drag my butt out of bed for an early morning danger room session. I know you better than you think. Scott Summers, Mr. Anal retentive X-man, but that all an act, its how you stay focused when you have to make a life or death decision. Just know that even at your worst no matter how much I may have complained you've earned my respect and trust. Enjoy that, not may people can claim that privilege. Besides us orphans of the Xaiver clan have to stick together.
The X-men looked at me strangely as I board the Blackbird and locked the door.
"Shouldn't you wait for Jubilee before you do that, growled Wolverine"
"No, Jubilee is staying out. She's in the plant stopping the explosion."
"What, you sent her in alone! What's she going to do that someone else can't? She just got back with the team."
"Jubilee is going to explode specific atoms of the nuclear reactor core and render them inert."
"And if she can't do it?
"Then it won't matter for any of us."
"Cyke if she doesn't come out of this alright. I promise to gut ya."
"I know Logan, Jean throw a shield up around us, quick." Jean just got the shield in place when the roof of the complex vaporized. It was the weirdest explosion I've ever seen. Beside the fact that the roof of the building vanished in to thin air, the walls of the building stayed up. The force of the explosion went straight up and then collapsed in on itself, as if someone was absorbing and controlling the energy. Then it was over as quick as it happened. The blackbird had barely shaken with the explosion. Frankly, I didn't think that there was anyway that she had survived the blast. So when Jubilee stumbled of the door limping, her uniform charred, I did a double take. She fell just outside the main gate about 500 yards from the Blackbird, I could see a faint glow about her. I didn't make a move to unlock the door.
"What are you doing Cyke? She laying out there alive we gotta get to her." Wolverine made a move to unbolt the door.
"No Wolverine, do you want to make all she did worthless. We have to make sure it's safe outside. Hank, scan the area determine her condition, and if it is safe to go get her."
"The air is safe to breath and there are no traces of radioactivity, except."
"What Hank, Jubilation is radioactive, she is too hot to even touch."
"Can you do anything for her?"
"Not even the Shiar technology can fix this, it is amazing she is still holding on."
I knew that I had to do something. She was out there dying because I sent her to do an impossible task. The least I could do was make sure she didn't die alone.
"Jean can you make a TK shield around Wolverine? That combined with his healing factor should make it safer for him to go out," Jean nodded.
"Do it then. Wolverine open your Comm link, in case she can still talk, we will be able to hear her. He gruffly complied with my orders. I think at the moment if I would have asked him to kill himself he would have just to get outside. I popped the hatch and he wasted no time running over to Jubilee.
We saw him kneel beside her, and heard as he managed to choke out one word. "Darlin'"
We could hear her voice very soft an light over the link. "Team and the two cities, okay?
"Fine Darlin' we barely even felt it in the plane. You stopped the disaster."
"Good I want to tell Cyke…"
"Shh darlin' rest there will be time enough for that later."
"No I'm out of time. Tell Cyke I understand why."
There wasn't any more to be heard but the howl of pain from Wolverine. Jean had to drag him back the plane in a TK bubble. We couldn't take Jubilee with us she was too toxic. Wolverine wouldn't even look at me.
Wolvie, what can I say. Assuming you are watching this, and not and feral, drooling, in the basement. And by the way if you are feral right now I am sooo coming back to kick your ass. I need to say something though. I love you, Wolvie. You are my father, best friend and big brother all rolled into one big hairy package. Thank you for needing me all those years ago. Thank you for letting me help you, after you got off the cross. And thank you for showing me what it was to care again, to love again. You freed my heart and let it shine through. Just in case you all want to know I want to be buryed here with my family not with my parents. A loud knock could be heard on the tape. And Wolverine voice could be heard, Darlin' you in there? Yeah Wolvie come on in. I am filming a tape for some friends, and I want them to see what kind of people I hang out with. Wolverine came in view of the camera. He hugged Jubilee, and they stood side by side he had an arm around her waist. See I told you guys he lookes like a big teddy bear acts like one too. I miss you, have fun and stay safe. The camera was shut off and no one talked or even moved.
I wanted to cry or howl at the moon like Wolverine had earlier done. But it wasn't my right. It's wasn't my partner, and daughter that had just died. I was the one that ordered her death. A couple of words tumbled from my mouth. " I'm sorry."
Wolverine whirled on me I moved away from Jean and stood up to face him. You have no right to talk Cyke. No right, You're the one who ordered her in there. You killed my Jubilee.
"I know that! I told her to go in the building, and do the improbable, she did it. I made the right choice, the only choice by going with Jubilee. Sure we could have gotten away from the blast, but what about the innocents in the blast area. They would have all died needlessly, it was a simple equation, The life of Jubilee no matter how much she ment to us wasn't greater in value then the life or all those people.
That is why you could never lead the X-men, Wolverine. Not that you are always running off. You would never make the choice to sacrifice someone for the greater good. I made the leaders choice the right choice. I think Jubilee understood, I gave her the choice not to do it Wolverine. She could have said no and I would have come up with some other plan. But she accepted my decision and preform her given task. I am sorry she is dead Wolverine, but I can't bring her back. And in the same situation, I would send her in there again.
But I apparently don't get the luxury of feelings according to you. It kills me to think I ordered her death. But I had no other options; every other answer had been exhausted. Think of the lives she saved in her selfless act. Those people including us are Jubilee's legacy. Jubilee and I were so much alike; both dedicated to the dream. And only family we'd every really known, the X-men. I think she understood my decision and stood by it. I hope she understands. I never wanted to have to make that call, to send Jubilee into danger, she was so young. But I had to make the leader's choice. I passed the test, no matter what happens from here on out. I know now that when the time calls for it I can send someone into a situation when they might not come out and I will make the right decision. I will miss Jubilee but there is nothing I can do but keep fighting for what she believed in. I will continue to lead the X-men and be a stronger leader because of this.
Now, Logan do you want to kill me? Do it, if that will make you feel better.
"Snick" Wolverine extended his claws and I stood there not moving just waiting for him to make his move. He raised his hand above his head to sweep down in a killing strike. And the claws sheathed themselves, he lowered his arm. "No Cyke, I am not going ta kill you, Jubilee wouldn't have wanted that. The she said something to you, I don't think you guys heard it over the comm. link. It makes more sense now. You heard her say to you that she understood you, right? I nodded. Well after that her voice was too weak to be heard on the link. I heard her though, She said I understand, the leader choice.
It didn't make sense when she said it but it does now. It must have been very important to her because, that was her last breath. She used her last words on you. I got know Cyke if Jeanie had been the best choice for that mission and you knew she might not make it. Would you have sent her in there alone?
Cyclops mind was racing would he really have sent Jean in if she had been the best choice for the job. Yes, Logan I would have Jubilee or Jean it would have mattered. As the leader of this team, it is my job to make the tactically correct decision. I couldn't send someone you love to die and do any less with someone I love. No matter what you think Logan, I would have sent Jean just a quickly as Jubilee.
"That mighty easy to say now Cyke. Ya got Jeanie right there; my best friend is so radioactive she going ta have to be put in a lead coffin.
Your right Logan, but even if it was Jean that had died. It wouldn't make me any less sorry. And it doesn't make Jubilee any less dead, and it doesn't make me any less sorry. Jubilee understood that and I hope you will too. I hope you all will our lives are dangerous. You all knew that coming in, Jubilee knew it too. These are trouble times, and I hope that we will never face this again. But we have to be prepared, for what might happen. Our lives temporary at best and this experience will either make us stronger or tear us apart. Now, let's go say goodbye to our friend. Scott Summers, Cyclops, leader of the X-men, left the room holding the team behind him. He walked with a confident stride of a person secure in his knowledge of the world and his choices. One tear seeped from under his visor, a weakness he could allow the team to see. A leader had to always be strong, as he wiped the tear off his cheek; He let it sparkle on his finger a moment before, wiping it on his uniform. That one tear was the only emotion he would show for his leader's choice.