25/4/02 – hopefully the swearing problem has been fixed
**DISCLAIMER!!** Well, in the tried & tested words of… everyone else, everything that you don't recognise is mine and everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling. This poem and every poem after it is also mine.
[AN: Whether you like it or not, I'm CONTINUING! HAHAHAHAHA!! I guess one measly tiny chapter isn't enough to base one's judgement upon…. Oh um yes right *cough cough*. Anywayz I'm pretty new to L/J so I'm just using the same names as every1 else uses so if any of them are actually original plz flame me…hehehe …and I'll fix it pronto!!!!! ^_^]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
~ I'm not what you want
I'm not what you need
but I can't keep away
I don't want to bleed
Savour my soul and grant me peace
or shatter my being and grant me release… ~
*Chapter 2* My Face, My Mask
'Honestly Lily, I don't know why you put up with it.' Miniature Minerva McGonagall ruffled up her feathers [AN: no feathers I know but I like that phrase] and stared down her nose at Lily, who had just divulged her secrets about Malfoy and Snape constantly raping her.
'As if it's *my* fault, you stupid idiot!' And Lily was in a very bad mood. She stormed out of the dorms into the common room, ripping portraits off the wall and hurling them into the fire. People shuffled sideways and looked at her weirdly as though she was a dangerous maniac.
Lily gave the Fat Lady a good kick and went out the portrait hole. She had just turned to go to the library when she bumped full-on into a tall dark handsome stranger. No, not a stranger. She looked up into his face. It was James Potter.
She stumbled. 'I – er, um…'
'Well well, look what we have here. Miss Resident Slut.'
'Jamesie.'
James stared at her for a moment, stunned, then his face contorted and he grabbed a fistful of her robes, slamming her against the wall and hanging her by her neck. 'What did you call me!? What the hell did you call me?!!'
'Jamesie.' Lily was unabashed. James paused, then swooped down on her, kissing her and feeling her wriggle under him. They continued for a bit, to a general chorus of 'ooooooh, aaaaah!!!' in the hallway, echoed in the background by weeping girls (and guys, for that matter).
There was a great clumping noise from behind them. 'Aw, yuck, c'mon guys, break it up, stop that! Making me sick!' Lily and James looked around and saw a dumpy fat little man brandishing a wand at them. His eyes were twinkling.
'Albus,' said James.
'James,' said Albus.
Dumbledore paused a moment and looked at the two practically humping each other in the hall. [AN: Yes, in those days Dumbledore was fat and short, hehehe] 'Congratulations young man. You've learned my name. But in future you *will* refer to me as Professor Dumbledore.' The twinkle in his eyes flickered. 'Now break it up you two. Or else get a room! Ugh!' he shuddered, and went to vomit behind a pot plant.
They stared after him for a minute, then James slid off Lily, disgusted. 'Miserable ragamuffin,' he spat. It took Lily a moment to realise that he was talking about Dumbledore and not her. 'Idiot. Someone needs to give that ol' spout a good going-through.'
Silence. Then, 'Er, James?'
'Yes, Lily-Lily?'
'Got to go now. Potions.'
'Potions,' snarled James 'Slytherin and that air-head Snape. I'm comin' baby.' They walked off feeling mushy and holding hands, and from that moment onwards were inseparable.
Malfoy and Snape shared a cauldron in Potions and both looked pissed off at the sight of "their Lily" getting all cosy with one of their sworn enemies, that James Potter. He had his hands all over her where they had never reached and she giggled as though she was actually enjoying it.
'That jerk,' muttered Snape behind his hand. 'He'll corrupt Lily, so he will.'
'Heard Dumbledore didn't mind 'em,' said Malfoy uneasily. 'You'd be pretty stupid to cross him.'
To his surprise, Snape actually turned on him. 'You – You're such an idiot! You're going over to their side! Well damn you! I'm not going to sit around like some little pretty boy and watch him drooling over her! That screw- ball Lily doesn't know what she's missing out on!'
'Hear, hear.' Malfoy grumbled. He stared absent-mindedly at Lily and felt himself grow hot and rise [AN: …ugh! i dunno where that came from…]. Most unfortunately for him, Snape noticed this.
'You know what I mean. I'm gonna get that girl when this is out.'
When the bell rang for the end of class, Malfoy slid off muttering about not carrying condoms and not wanting to see Snape screwing someone, and was berated by Snape for being too soft. Snape stuffed his books into his bag and fell into step behind Lily, trying discreetly to tail her. He found his chance when she broke away from James to go to the girl's bathroom, and he sunk into the shadows before he could be seen.
Lily trundled up a fairly empty corridor and Snape made sure that James and his posse were out of sight before he took a firm grip of her arm and slammed it against the wall. She whimpered. He swung around her and pinned her down.
'Lily,' he breathed 'You've been hanging around with that prick James and I don't like that.'
Every ounce of confidence Lily had had with James crumbled under her fear. 'Please, please Severus, please don't…' she whispered pitifully. 'Not again, *please*…'
He slapped her savagely. 'You!' he snarled. 'You're coming with me.' Then he took both her arms, tied them up and dragged her to a dark corner away from the light and the girl's bathroom. 'You're in for it girl. You'll be sorry you ever crossed us.'
'No! NO!' she cried. 'James, James where are you?!'
Snape descended over her and began to attack her clothes. He scraped his rough fingers down her delicate flesh. She squealed and cried.
'Severus have mercy on me! PLEASE! Pleeeeee…' But she might as well have been begging a brick wall. Snape had her top off and was just starting on her skirt when he heard footsteps coming around the corner.
'Damn,' he mumbled and pushed her into a cupboard. He threw her shirt out one of the tower windows and scurried into the cupboard beside her. It was dark and musty and he could hear her snivelling. 'Shut up you pipsqueak' he hissed but she refused. The footsteps approached and seemed to stop right next to the cupboard in which they were hidden.
Oh no, thought Lily, this is bad. Should I scream? He might… he might kill me… But I can't take anymore!
Then she did what Snape had dreaded. 'HELP!!! HELP ME!!! PLEASE!!!' He clamped a hand over her mouth but was too late.
The cupboard door was thrown open and he found himself being dragged out by the very person he had not wanted to see.
'You JERK!' screamed James. 'What the HELL were you doing with my girlfriend!'
'Just getting up to some unfinished business,' snarled Snape, trying to sound blasé. 'Here you are interrupting my mating ceremony. Our Lily—'
'*YOUR* Lily!? Fucking hell Severus she's MINE!!!'
Snape glared for a moment into James' glittering angry eyes, and saw his own savageness reflected in them. 'Then we'll have a threesome.' he snapped. 'Is that what you want!?'
James glared back. 'She's… she's…' And he became speechless when he saw Lily torn, naked, and bleeding, crawling slowly out of the cupboard. Tears were pouring down her cheeks.
A weird anger came over James and he took Snape by the neck, bashing his head against the wall many times, howling and shouting while cradling Lily in his other arm.
'Lily… oh Lily…'
Something like a stampede echoed behind them. Sirius raced into the dark room, flanked by Remus while Peter bounded along behind. There was a stunned silence then Sirius grabbed James' arm and made him drop poor old Snape.
'James let go, stop it big boy, just…' They spotted Lily and fell silent again. There was no sound except for Lily's whimpering. Snape had been knocked out with blood oozing from his ears.
'Control yourself,' said Sirius quietly, but his voice was shaking. 'There's nothing that's going to stop that dolt if he's after Lily.'
James nodded but he was pale. Then he fell to his knees and for the first time in his one and a bit years at Hogwarts, began to cry. Snape's attack on Lily had made him suddenly feel more vulnerable than ever, even with his bad-boy image. The brittleness he showed and felt now made him think that maybe his outer image was only a shield, a mask.
Maybe just. For Lily's sake.
[AN: So… how was that chapter? not exactly what I expected but anywayz… Wow, I'm starting to develop a taste for this, maybe I'll even write more!! that is if anyone likes it… ^_^]
**DISCLAIMER!!** Well, in the tried & tested words of… everyone else, everything that you don't recognise is mine and everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling. This poem and every poem after it is also mine.
[AN: Whether you like it or not, I'm CONTINUING! HAHAHAHAHA!! I guess one measly tiny chapter isn't enough to base one's judgement upon…. Oh um yes right *cough cough*. Anywayz I'm pretty new to L/J so I'm just using the same names as every1 else uses so if any of them are actually original plz flame me…hehehe …and I'll fix it pronto!!!!! ^_^]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
~ I'm not what you want
I'm not what you need
but I can't keep away
I don't want to bleed
Savour my soul and grant me peace
or shatter my being and grant me release… ~
*Chapter 2* My Face, My Mask
'Honestly Lily, I don't know why you put up with it.' Miniature Minerva McGonagall ruffled up her feathers [AN: no feathers I know but I like that phrase] and stared down her nose at Lily, who had just divulged her secrets about Malfoy and Snape constantly raping her.
'As if it's *my* fault, you stupid idiot!' And Lily was in a very bad mood. She stormed out of the dorms into the common room, ripping portraits off the wall and hurling them into the fire. People shuffled sideways and looked at her weirdly as though she was a dangerous maniac.
Lily gave the Fat Lady a good kick and went out the portrait hole. She had just turned to go to the library when she bumped full-on into a tall dark handsome stranger. No, not a stranger. She looked up into his face. It was James Potter.
She stumbled. 'I – er, um…'
'Well well, look what we have here. Miss Resident Slut.'
'Jamesie.'
James stared at her for a moment, stunned, then his face contorted and he grabbed a fistful of her robes, slamming her against the wall and hanging her by her neck. 'What did you call me!? What the hell did you call me?!!'
'Jamesie.' Lily was unabashed. James paused, then swooped down on her, kissing her and feeling her wriggle under him. They continued for a bit, to a general chorus of 'ooooooh, aaaaah!!!' in the hallway, echoed in the background by weeping girls (and guys, for that matter).
There was a great clumping noise from behind them. 'Aw, yuck, c'mon guys, break it up, stop that! Making me sick!' Lily and James looked around and saw a dumpy fat little man brandishing a wand at them. His eyes were twinkling.
'Albus,' said James.
'James,' said Albus.
Dumbledore paused a moment and looked at the two practically humping each other in the hall. [AN: Yes, in those days Dumbledore was fat and short, hehehe] 'Congratulations young man. You've learned my name. But in future you *will* refer to me as Professor Dumbledore.' The twinkle in his eyes flickered. 'Now break it up you two. Or else get a room! Ugh!' he shuddered, and went to vomit behind a pot plant.
They stared after him for a minute, then James slid off Lily, disgusted. 'Miserable ragamuffin,' he spat. It took Lily a moment to realise that he was talking about Dumbledore and not her. 'Idiot. Someone needs to give that ol' spout a good going-through.'
Silence. Then, 'Er, James?'
'Yes, Lily-Lily?'
'Got to go now. Potions.'
'Potions,' snarled James 'Slytherin and that air-head Snape. I'm comin' baby.' They walked off feeling mushy and holding hands, and from that moment onwards were inseparable.
Malfoy and Snape shared a cauldron in Potions and both looked pissed off at the sight of "their Lily" getting all cosy with one of their sworn enemies, that James Potter. He had his hands all over her where they had never reached and she giggled as though she was actually enjoying it.
'That jerk,' muttered Snape behind his hand. 'He'll corrupt Lily, so he will.'
'Heard Dumbledore didn't mind 'em,' said Malfoy uneasily. 'You'd be pretty stupid to cross him.'
To his surprise, Snape actually turned on him. 'You – You're such an idiot! You're going over to their side! Well damn you! I'm not going to sit around like some little pretty boy and watch him drooling over her! That screw- ball Lily doesn't know what she's missing out on!'
'Hear, hear.' Malfoy grumbled. He stared absent-mindedly at Lily and felt himself grow hot and rise [AN: …ugh! i dunno where that came from…]. Most unfortunately for him, Snape noticed this.
'You know what I mean. I'm gonna get that girl when this is out.'
When the bell rang for the end of class, Malfoy slid off muttering about not carrying condoms and not wanting to see Snape screwing someone, and was berated by Snape for being too soft. Snape stuffed his books into his bag and fell into step behind Lily, trying discreetly to tail her. He found his chance when she broke away from James to go to the girl's bathroom, and he sunk into the shadows before he could be seen.
Lily trundled up a fairly empty corridor and Snape made sure that James and his posse were out of sight before he took a firm grip of her arm and slammed it against the wall. She whimpered. He swung around her and pinned her down.
'Lily,' he breathed 'You've been hanging around with that prick James and I don't like that.'
Every ounce of confidence Lily had had with James crumbled under her fear. 'Please, please Severus, please don't…' she whispered pitifully. 'Not again, *please*…'
He slapped her savagely. 'You!' he snarled. 'You're coming with me.' Then he took both her arms, tied them up and dragged her to a dark corner away from the light and the girl's bathroom. 'You're in for it girl. You'll be sorry you ever crossed us.'
'No! NO!' she cried. 'James, James where are you?!'
Snape descended over her and began to attack her clothes. He scraped his rough fingers down her delicate flesh. She squealed and cried.
'Severus have mercy on me! PLEASE! Pleeeeee…' But she might as well have been begging a brick wall. Snape had her top off and was just starting on her skirt when he heard footsteps coming around the corner.
'Damn,' he mumbled and pushed her into a cupboard. He threw her shirt out one of the tower windows and scurried into the cupboard beside her. It was dark and musty and he could hear her snivelling. 'Shut up you pipsqueak' he hissed but she refused. The footsteps approached and seemed to stop right next to the cupboard in which they were hidden.
Oh no, thought Lily, this is bad. Should I scream? He might… he might kill me… But I can't take anymore!
Then she did what Snape had dreaded. 'HELP!!! HELP ME!!! PLEASE!!!' He clamped a hand over her mouth but was too late.
The cupboard door was thrown open and he found himself being dragged out by the very person he had not wanted to see.
'You JERK!' screamed James. 'What the HELL were you doing with my girlfriend!'
'Just getting up to some unfinished business,' snarled Snape, trying to sound blasé. 'Here you are interrupting my mating ceremony. Our Lily—'
'*YOUR* Lily!? Fucking hell Severus she's MINE!!!'
Snape glared for a moment into James' glittering angry eyes, and saw his own savageness reflected in them. 'Then we'll have a threesome.' he snapped. 'Is that what you want!?'
James glared back. 'She's… she's…' And he became speechless when he saw Lily torn, naked, and bleeding, crawling slowly out of the cupboard. Tears were pouring down her cheeks.
A weird anger came over James and he took Snape by the neck, bashing his head against the wall many times, howling and shouting while cradling Lily in his other arm.
'Lily… oh Lily…'
Something like a stampede echoed behind them. Sirius raced into the dark room, flanked by Remus while Peter bounded along behind. There was a stunned silence then Sirius grabbed James' arm and made him drop poor old Snape.
'James let go, stop it big boy, just…' They spotted Lily and fell silent again. There was no sound except for Lily's whimpering. Snape had been knocked out with blood oozing from his ears.
'Control yourself,' said Sirius quietly, but his voice was shaking. 'There's nothing that's going to stop that dolt if he's after Lily.'
James nodded but he was pale. Then he fell to his knees and for the first time in his one and a bit years at Hogwarts, began to cry. Snape's attack on Lily had made him suddenly feel more vulnerable than ever, even with his bad-boy image. The brittleness he showed and felt now made him think that maybe his outer image was only a shield, a mask.
Maybe just. For Lily's sake.
[AN: So… how was that chapter? not exactly what I expected but anywayz… Wow, I'm starting to develop a taste for this, maybe I'll even write more!! that is if anyone likes it… ^_^]