25/4/02 – still minor swearing problems… hopefully fixed these up
AN: Hmm… I have been reading your reviews and yes, I will try to tame the sewer-mouths as well as maybe introducing a story-line? We'll just see how it goes.
*Chapter 5* (gasp!) You liar!
The hospital wing was dark and cool. It was late evening, and Lily was lying on her bed staring dazedly up at the ceiling. Fragmented, disjointed thoughts kept popping up in her mind.
James loves me. He wouldn't do this to me. No.
She sighed; her head ached. On her bedside table was a small pile of gifts, get-well cards and lollies. Rhonda had of course sent her one – and, much to her surprise, so had Snape. Lily giggled – the poem in Snape's card was so sweet, very unlike what she would have typically expected from him. Perhaps it was just her imagination, but he and Malfoy seemed to have been maintaining their distance from her lately.
The door of the ward opened quietly, throwing light into the room. Lily sat up and squinted, and immediately made out Snape's greasy black hair.
'Speak of the devil…' she moaned, but she wasn't too worried. Madam Pomfrey would have his head on a pike if he tried anything funny.
Snape sat on the edge of her bed, looking down at her. 'Hello, my little Lily.' he said smoothly. There was a gentle twinkling in his eyes.
'Don't touch me. James will kill you if you do.'
'Ahh, but don't you remember what he did to you?' He bent over, looking cruelly amused. 'He tried to kill you. Do you think this shows that he cares about you? Would you still want him back after he tried to break your skull?'
'He…' Snape's smirk broadened at the confusion on her face. 'He didn't mean…—'
'—as if he didn't mean it! Wake up, baby! He came back and his first greeting to you was to yell at you about your friend, just because she was in *my* house…'
Lily stared. 'How did you…?'
'I know these things, trust me.' He patted her arm, and allowed himself a private chuckle. 'School talk. Oh, the corridors are buzzing with rumours about your beloved James and what he did to you, so they are.'
There was a long period of silence, in which Lily fought to understand her thoughts. Snape was just using the situation to his advantage. She knew it. He was… he was… but he had a point… No, she loved James and he loved her, she must not let the enemy win… but who *was* the enemy? It couldn't be Jamesie, not her Jamesie; and yet he'd tried to kill her…
Meanwhile, James was in Dumbledore's office once more, but he was nervous and twitching. He couldn't meet the headmaster's angry eyes, and actually felt like he was on the verge of crying.
'James…' Dumbledore began, but James cut frantically across him.
'Please sir, no! It – it wasn't me! I swear! I would never have done it! I … I just … I wasn't in my right mind! Please sir, don't… don't separate us! I didn't mean it!'
Dumbledore studied his face for a full minute, then dropped the gaze and sighed. James Potter begging – it was definitely a first.
'Why you did it, James, is beyond my comprehension.' he rumbled. 'I will leave that matter to a better day. But what I do know is that you are a very big danger to yourself and others around you. A very big, *real* danger.'
'No!!!'
'It's all right James, I… I believe you. I was just saying.' He leaned forward. 'When I first summoned you here I was fully aware that you could have been under the influence of Lord Voldemort. He is gaining power again, I'm afraid. At first I thought that you were too pure and too clean to allow such a dark soul to infect you, but seeing you in the past few weeks…'
James glared. For a moment his old flare returned. 'Are you calling me evil? I'm not EVIL!'
'Oh, no. Not at all. You may leave, James. There is nothing more I can do for you. Lily will be fine in a matter of days.'
James stood and shuffled out, his ears ringing. A little voice was chattering away in the back of his mind and he made no effort to stop it. [I can't be under Voldemort's influence. I can't. I'm a bad boy by nature, not by influence. No, I'm bad but not evil]. And he laughed at that.
Back in the common room he found Remus, Peter and Sirius doing what they usually did – playing wizard chess. They looked up as he approached, and then regarded him as though he was an axe murderer. There was an uncomfortable pause.
'Ah, I… I feel nature calling.' muttered Sirius and tried to escape, but James caught hold of him. He was positively crying now.
'Sirius! Sit down, you stupid bum. I'm not about to kill you. I'm not about to kill anyone!'
'What about L—'
'Shut your face about my girlfriend, you prick.' he hissed. 'I didn't try to kill her.'
'Sure James, of course not.' But he could tell that they didn't believe him.
In the course of a week Lily managed to convince Madam Pomfrey that she was well enough to escape the hospital wing. Physically she was healed, but Snape's night visit had left her in utter confusion. Suppose Snape's intentions were good and true, and he had only been trying to protect her from James? In any case he was in Slytherin… but then again, so was Rhonda.
A few people gave Lily weird looks as she returned to her place, but not as many as Snape had made out. If that was school talk then Hogwarts was a pretty damn boring place. But Lily, entrenched in deep thought, failed to notice this.
One afternoon just before lunch, Lily heard someone calling her. She recognised James' voice and turned quickly away.
'Lily! Lily, quit ignoring me! I'm trying to talk to you here!'
She walked on without looking back, struggling to fight back her tears. She still loved him and maybe he still loved her but if he did, she thought he had a weird way of showing it.
During lunch she dragged Rhonda out to the grounds where they sat under "the James tree" and threw pebbles into the lake.
'It just doesn't make sense Rhonda,' said Lily as she hurled a particularly large stone at the lake. 'I was sure he loved me, but… he tried to kill me. He told me that Snape and Malfoy were the enemy, but Snape's got a point, he really has. I'm starting to believe him.'
'Sounds like you trust Snape more than your own boyfriend, huh.'
'It's crazy, but I guess right now he's more trustworthy than James is.'
They sat for a while in silence, then Lily glanced at her watch. 'Oh, we're late. Better go now or else I'll have to sit next to *him* in class.'
'Sure thing. Seeya!'
[AN: Ack! I still don't think this is going anywhere!!]
No matter what Lily told herself, her feelings made it difficult to keep away from James. He, on the other hand, had several times considered taking a wand to his own head. Lily had ditched him, Snape was taking advantage of this, he was practically under Voldemort's control and now even his own friends were beginning to alienate him. It would have been the best thing for everyone.
He looked up and saw Malfoy standing over him.
'What do you want?' he snarled.
'You should know what ol' Severus is doing to your Lily-Lily. She trusts him.'
'WHAT?!'
'It's quite the natural thing, Potter. You tried to kill her. Why should she trust you? Snape knows as much. He's using your idiocy to win her in different ways.'
James stared at Malfoy, his eyes full of dark hatred. 'Why are you telling me this?'
Malfoy's eyes narrowed. 'Do you know what that fool offered me if I managed to snag Lily? A threesome. A threesome! I don't want a bloody threesome, at least not with him! No, he's just gay. I'm not having anything else to do with him.'
'So basically you're using me to get your revenge.'
'Basically.' Malfoy sniggered and punched James. 'If you want that girl back you better start now or she'll have you crying like a little pussy.' He walked away.
'How do I know you're not putting me up to this?' James called after him.
He grinned slyly. 'Just trust me, Potter.'
The year dragged on wearily, with the great silence between James and Lily widening. Finally as the Gryffindor second-years emerged from a compelling Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, James took hold of Lily's shoulders and steered her into a side corridor.
He looked deeply into her eyes just as he had done the first time he kissed her. 'Lily, I have to talk to you. You've been ignoring me and you don't know what I've got to say!'
Lily looked at him coldly. 'I don't have to hear what you've got to say. All I know is you tried to kill me. You lied to me! Everything you ever did with me was a LIE!'
'Snape's been spoon-feeding you his twisted ideas, hasn't he!?' He was shouting now. 'Why do you listen to him, Lily? He's the enemy! He's manipulating you, can't you see!'
'And what do I have to gain by staying with YOU? You – you try to kill me, you bag out my friend – my ONLY friend, just because of a personal grudge! You're such an airhead James Potter, I don't know why I was ever blind enough not to see through you in the first place.'
James reeled from the impact of her words. He stared at her, trying to find words that would change her mind, convince her that what he was saying was true.
'I've been to Dumbledore, Lily. Voldemort's getting stronger. And you know what? He's using me for his own sick desires. He wants you, and I'm just a pawn in his game.' His eyes went misty. 'Believe me Lily, please. I love you and I'd never hurt you.'
Watching Lily contemplate this, his heart clenched. How much of his behaviour was because of Voldemort, and how much was natural? Had he managed to finally make her reconsider?
'Do you know how stupid that sounds James? Blame it all on Voldemort, why don't you.' She started to sound more amused than angry.
'Ha… That's not something I'd joke about Lily.'
They lapsed into another short silence. Lily looked over and spotted Rhonda hovering about the door of a nearby classroom. She winked.
'I… I guess you're right James…'
'So you believe me?'
'I'm still not saying I believe you. But… what the hell, I'll just have to trust you won't I?' She threw her arms around his neck. He held her tightly. A few tears splashed down his cheeks and landed on her shoulder.
'THERE you are!'
James spun around and came face to face with Sirius.
'Made it up with Lily here, have you?'
'You decided that I'm telling the truth?' James grumbled roughly.
'Yes, yes.' Remus got down on one knee and held out his hands like a beggar. 'Oh Jamesie! Please forgive us!' He got up and looked serious. 'Dumbledore told us you know, we didn't believe him but then here you are with Lily… So will you forgive us?'
'Whatever!' he giggled, and gathered everyone around for a big group hug. [AN: This is not something I can imagine them doing]
A loud clunk was heard from behind and Sirius promptly marched over to where Snape was standing, staring at James and Lily with utmost revulsion. Malfoy was nowhere in sight. Sirius paused then slapped Snape's face to the sound of echoing laughter.
'Take a hike, you moron!'
Snape sidled off, gingerly rubbing his pink cheek.
The others roared with laughter as Sirius rejoined them. James felt his heart turn over, laughing and watching Lily laugh. Things were all right now weren't they? He had his friends back. Maybe now he could cool off on the fact that Lily had made friends with a Slytherin girl. He'd put the wrongs right.
But the little voice in the back of his mind whispered, 'But Voldemort's still here, and you can't fight him…'
[AN: Is that a better chapter? shudder I can't stand it, ugh, this story is going nowhere. :P Anyway please review, and you can flame all you like if you really want to, I know I'm not perfect!! cyaz!]
AN: Hmm… I have been reading your reviews and yes, I will try to tame the sewer-mouths as well as maybe introducing a story-line? We'll just see how it goes.
*Chapter 5* (gasp!) You liar!
The hospital wing was dark and cool. It was late evening, and Lily was lying on her bed staring dazedly up at the ceiling. Fragmented, disjointed thoughts kept popping up in her mind.
James loves me. He wouldn't do this to me. No.
She sighed; her head ached. On her bedside table was a small pile of gifts, get-well cards and lollies. Rhonda had of course sent her one – and, much to her surprise, so had Snape. Lily giggled – the poem in Snape's card was so sweet, very unlike what she would have typically expected from him. Perhaps it was just her imagination, but he and Malfoy seemed to have been maintaining their distance from her lately.
The door of the ward opened quietly, throwing light into the room. Lily sat up and squinted, and immediately made out Snape's greasy black hair.
'Speak of the devil…' she moaned, but she wasn't too worried. Madam Pomfrey would have his head on a pike if he tried anything funny.
Snape sat on the edge of her bed, looking down at her. 'Hello, my little Lily.' he said smoothly. There was a gentle twinkling in his eyes.
'Don't touch me. James will kill you if you do.'
'Ahh, but don't you remember what he did to you?' He bent over, looking cruelly amused. 'He tried to kill you. Do you think this shows that he cares about you? Would you still want him back after he tried to break your skull?'
'He…' Snape's smirk broadened at the confusion on her face. 'He didn't mean…—'
'—as if he didn't mean it! Wake up, baby! He came back and his first greeting to you was to yell at you about your friend, just because she was in *my* house…'
Lily stared. 'How did you…?'
'I know these things, trust me.' He patted her arm, and allowed himself a private chuckle. 'School talk. Oh, the corridors are buzzing with rumours about your beloved James and what he did to you, so they are.'
There was a long period of silence, in which Lily fought to understand her thoughts. Snape was just using the situation to his advantage. She knew it. He was… he was… but he had a point… No, she loved James and he loved her, she must not let the enemy win… but who *was* the enemy? It couldn't be Jamesie, not her Jamesie; and yet he'd tried to kill her…
Meanwhile, James was in Dumbledore's office once more, but he was nervous and twitching. He couldn't meet the headmaster's angry eyes, and actually felt like he was on the verge of crying.
'James…' Dumbledore began, but James cut frantically across him.
'Please sir, no! It – it wasn't me! I swear! I would never have done it! I … I just … I wasn't in my right mind! Please sir, don't… don't separate us! I didn't mean it!'
Dumbledore studied his face for a full minute, then dropped the gaze and sighed. James Potter begging – it was definitely a first.
'Why you did it, James, is beyond my comprehension.' he rumbled. 'I will leave that matter to a better day. But what I do know is that you are a very big danger to yourself and others around you. A very big, *real* danger.'
'No!!!'
'It's all right James, I… I believe you. I was just saying.' He leaned forward. 'When I first summoned you here I was fully aware that you could have been under the influence of Lord Voldemort. He is gaining power again, I'm afraid. At first I thought that you were too pure and too clean to allow such a dark soul to infect you, but seeing you in the past few weeks…'
James glared. For a moment his old flare returned. 'Are you calling me evil? I'm not EVIL!'
'Oh, no. Not at all. You may leave, James. There is nothing more I can do for you. Lily will be fine in a matter of days.'
James stood and shuffled out, his ears ringing. A little voice was chattering away in the back of his mind and he made no effort to stop it. [I can't be under Voldemort's influence. I can't. I'm a bad boy by nature, not by influence. No, I'm bad but not evil]. And he laughed at that.
Back in the common room he found Remus, Peter and Sirius doing what they usually did – playing wizard chess. They looked up as he approached, and then regarded him as though he was an axe murderer. There was an uncomfortable pause.
'Ah, I… I feel nature calling.' muttered Sirius and tried to escape, but James caught hold of him. He was positively crying now.
'Sirius! Sit down, you stupid bum. I'm not about to kill you. I'm not about to kill anyone!'
'What about L—'
'Shut your face about my girlfriend, you prick.' he hissed. 'I didn't try to kill her.'
'Sure James, of course not.' But he could tell that they didn't believe him.
In the course of a week Lily managed to convince Madam Pomfrey that she was well enough to escape the hospital wing. Physically she was healed, but Snape's night visit had left her in utter confusion. Suppose Snape's intentions were good and true, and he had only been trying to protect her from James? In any case he was in Slytherin… but then again, so was Rhonda.
A few people gave Lily weird looks as she returned to her place, but not as many as Snape had made out. If that was school talk then Hogwarts was a pretty damn boring place. But Lily, entrenched in deep thought, failed to notice this.
One afternoon just before lunch, Lily heard someone calling her. She recognised James' voice and turned quickly away.
'Lily! Lily, quit ignoring me! I'm trying to talk to you here!'
She walked on without looking back, struggling to fight back her tears. She still loved him and maybe he still loved her but if he did, she thought he had a weird way of showing it.
During lunch she dragged Rhonda out to the grounds where they sat under "the James tree" and threw pebbles into the lake.
'It just doesn't make sense Rhonda,' said Lily as she hurled a particularly large stone at the lake. 'I was sure he loved me, but… he tried to kill me. He told me that Snape and Malfoy were the enemy, but Snape's got a point, he really has. I'm starting to believe him.'
'Sounds like you trust Snape more than your own boyfriend, huh.'
'It's crazy, but I guess right now he's more trustworthy than James is.'
They sat for a while in silence, then Lily glanced at her watch. 'Oh, we're late. Better go now or else I'll have to sit next to *him* in class.'
'Sure thing. Seeya!'
[AN: Ack! I still don't think this is going anywhere!!]
No matter what Lily told herself, her feelings made it difficult to keep away from James. He, on the other hand, had several times considered taking a wand to his own head. Lily had ditched him, Snape was taking advantage of this, he was practically under Voldemort's control and now even his own friends were beginning to alienate him. It would have been the best thing for everyone.
He looked up and saw Malfoy standing over him.
'What do you want?' he snarled.
'You should know what ol' Severus is doing to your Lily-Lily. She trusts him.'
'WHAT?!'
'It's quite the natural thing, Potter. You tried to kill her. Why should she trust you? Snape knows as much. He's using your idiocy to win her in different ways.'
James stared at Malfoy, his eyes full of dark hatred. 'Why are you telling me this?'
Malfoy's eyes narrowed. 'Do you know what that fool offered me if I managed to snag Lily? A threesome. A threesome! I don't want a bloody threesome, at least not with him! No, he's just gay. I'm not having anything else to do with him.'
'So basically you're using me to get your revenge.'
'Basically.' Malfoy sniggered and punched James. 'If you want that girl back you better start now or she'll have you crying like a little pussy.' He walked away.
'How do I know you're not putting me up to this?' James called after him.
He grinned slyly. 'Just trust me, Potter.'
The year dragged on wearily, with the great silence between James and Lily widening. Finally as the Gryffindor second-years emerged from a compelling Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, James took hold of Lily's shoulders and steered her into a side corridor.
He looked deeply into her eyes just as he had done the first time he kissed her. 'Lily, I have to talk to you. You've been ignoring me and you don't know what I've got to say!'
Lily looked at him coldly. 'I don't have to hear what you've got to say. All I know is you tried to kill me. You lied to me! Everything you ever did with me was a LIE!'
'Snape's been spoon-feeding you his twisted ideas, hasn't he!?' He was shouting now. 'Why do you listen to him, Lily? He's the enemy! He's manipulating you, can't you see!'
'And what do I have to gain by staying with YOU? You – you try to kill me, you bag out my friend – my ONLY friend, just because of a personal grudge! You're such an airhead James Potter, I don't know why I was ever blind enough not to see through you in the first place.'
James reeled from the impact of her words. He stared at her, trying to find words that would change her mind, convince her that what he was saying was true.
'I've been to Dumbledore, Lily. Voldemort's getting stronger. And you know what? He's using me for his own sick desires. He wants you, and I'm just a pawn in his game.' His eyes went misty. 'Believe me Lily, please. I love you and I'd never hurt you.'
Watching Lily contemplate this, his heart clenched. How much of his behaviour was because of Voldemort, and how much was natural? Had he managed to finally make her reconsider?
'Do you know how stupid that sounds James? Blame it all on Voldemort, why don't you.' She started to sound more amused than angry.
'Ha… That's not something I'd joke about Lily.'
They lapsed into another short silence. Lily looked over and spotted Rhonda hovering about the door of a nearby classroom. She winked.
'I… I guess you're right James…'
'So you believe me?'
'I'm still not saying I believe you. But… what the hell, I'll just have to trust you won't I?' She threw her arms around his neck. He held her tightly. A few tears splashed down his cheeks and landed on her shoulder.
'THERE you are!'
James spun around and came face to face with Sirius.
'Made it up with Lily here, have you?'
'You decided that I'm telling the truth?' James grumbled roughly.
'Yes, yes.' Remus got down on one knee and held out his hands like a beggar. 'Oh Jamesie! Please forgive us!' He got up and looked serious. 'Dumbledore told us you know, we didn't believe him but then here you are with Lily… So will you forgive us?'
'Whatever!' he giggled, and gathered everyone around for a big group hug. [AN: This is not something I can imagine them doing]
A loud clunk was heard from behind and Sirius promptly marched over to where Snape was standing, staring at James and Lily with utmost revulsion. Malfoy was nowhere in sight. Sirius paused then slapped Snape's face to the sound of echoing laughter.
'Take a hike, you moron!'
Snape sidled off, gingerly rubbing his pink cheek.
The others roared with laughter as Sirius rejoined them. James felt his heart turn over, laughing and watching Lily laugh. Things were all right now weren't they? He had his friends back. Maybe now he could cool off on the fact that Lily had made friends with a Slytherin girl. He'd put the wrongs right.
But the little voice in the back of his mind whispered, 'But Voldemort's still here, and you can't fight him…'
[AN: Is that a better chapter? shudder I can't stand it, ugh, this story is going nowhere. :P Anyway please review, and you can flame all you like if you really want to, I know I'm not perfect!! cyaz!]