Warnings for this part: mild angst, mild sap, and mild lime. It's a very mild part. Even the Tree has gotten over its I-must-be-as-snide-as-possible complex.
Part Ten
Seishirou hauled himself out of bed Saturday night and went about getting the Tree some dinner, only half-realizing what he was doing. The Tree, rather thoughtfully, helped guide him to an acceptable victim without question.
::Tomorrow, you're getting up for good.::
Seishirou sat back on his bed with a thud, holding his head in his hands. "I don't want to yet."
::I know you don't want to. But you have two jobs pending and one of them will require more concentration than you have now. Also, you're running out of groceries.::
"Fine. But only for a few days. Then I want to sleep again."
::You're not allowed to mope forever.::
"I suppose not, but I'm allowed to try, right?"
The Tree sighed. ::Tomorrow, you're getting up.::
"But only for a few days."
::Eh. I'll argue with you later.::
****
Hokuto described having tea with the Tree over dinner, with a lot of hand gestures and half-meant insults. Subaru listened in growing dismay, but took her word on it when she said she'd gotten everything straightened out.
"So tomorrow, we're going to go over around six and let ourselves in, then throw Seishirou a little surprise party and you -- " She pointed here at Subaru and glared imperiously -- "are you going to do something useful."
Subaru nodded slightly.
Hokuto gave him a reassuring smile. "It'll be okay, Subaru-chan . . . honestly."
"I don't know which one of you three is a more persistent matchmaker," Subaru said, shaking his head.
"Her," Mitsuki chimed in. "I thought it was none of my business for the first six years I was married to you, and the Tree only took it up recently. Hokuto-chan has, by far, the longest track record."
"But the Tree has more success," Subaru pointed out, and Hokuto turned red.
"I have not been bested by a soul-sucking Tree," she said, pouting. "I just encountered setbacks, that's all. Like you, being a baka and refusing to speak to Seishirou-san for eight years."
Subaru looked chagrined. "Okay, you win."
"Thank you."
"But it was the Tree who convinced me I was in love with Seishirou-san."
Hokuto ground her teeth.
"Then again, it was you who convinced me that it was all right," Subaru said, looking at Mitsuki. "And it was Hokuto-chan who convinced me that I should do something about it. So I'd say you're all even." He looked back at Hokuto. "You and the Tree, though . . . now there's a match made in Hell."
Hokuto laughed.
"I just . . ." Subaru looked into his tea mug, going serious. "I didn't realize how badly I had hurt him this time."
Hokuto snorted. "He's just being an idiot, that's all. There was no reason to take this so hard."
"No." Subaru looked away. "He just loves me that much."
"So you'd best live up to his expectations, ne?" Mitsuki gave him a sweet smile.
Subaru managed a wan smile back. "I'll try."
****
Seishirou was feeling slightly resentful. It was safe where he was; safe and dark and warm. Altogether pleasant. He didn't really dream, except on occasion; he simply drifted in nothingness. He wanted to stay, and the Tree wouldn't let him. If it was up to Seishirou, he probably would've opted to sink into that darkness forever.
But he really couldn't do that. As the Tree had pointed out numerous times, his job was too important to simply abandon. There was no one to replace him, as he hadn't even figured out how to go about getting an heir, let alone training one to take his place.
He had been 'sleeping' for five days; it seemed like weeks and he wished that it had been. He'd only had a few dreams in that time, but they had been vivid and rather disturbing. The worst -- about Subaru, of course, but more specifically about Subaru confessing love and the things that would happen afterwards -- actually managed to jolt him awake, and he lay there shaking afterwards until the Tree gently drew him back into the darkness.
In the dream after that -- and he wasn't certain it had actually been a dream -- he had simply been sitting underneath the Tree. And a figure had stepped out of it, tall and thin and white-haired, and sat down beside him. Then he'd simply drawn Seishirou into his arms and held him.
It was an odd dream, but Seishirou didn't question it. He knew the Tree cared for him, in its own strange way, and not just because the Tree's welfare depended on him. His mother, he knew for certain, had never shared this close a bond with it. They had simply been comrades -- symbiotes, really -- but Seishirou and the Tree were friends.
And the man in the dream had simply said, "It's all right, Seishirou. I won't let him hurt you anymore."
Seishirou had no doubt whatsoever that the Tree meant it.
He had accepted the Tree's deal because he had been desperate to escape from the world, and he really didn't see any reason not to. Whether he saw Subaru or not, the heartache was going to be the same. If the Tree thought it would be better this way, that was fine. He would miss Hokuto, but he couldn't really continue to spend time with her -- it only reminded him of Subaru.
He considered, for a while, quitting his job as a veterinarian. That, too, reminded him of Subaru, and the others at his practice were more than competent enough to cover his loss if he chose to leave. But the thought of the empty days, with nothing to do but think or sleep, pained him even more than the reminder would.
It was odd, though, the way the Tree had latched onto Subaru and was now able to completely give him up. But the Tree's mind worked in odd ways; Seishirou had known that for a long time. It was the Tree who had originally suggested the Bet, after all, and it was the Tree who had convinced him that it was all right to lose.
::Personally,:: it had said at the time, ::I don't see what the big deal about being emotionless is anyway. People are objects? What's the fun in that? Go hunt down a chair if you think people are objects.::
Seishirou had laughed at that, laughed long and hard. Because of course people were harder to catch than chairs. That was the point.
::It's different for every Sakurazukamori,:: the Tree has continued to explain. ::Your mother, not that I didn't respect her completely, was truly an emotionless human being. You are not. She was perfectly capable of sustaining herself on absolutely no love and no affection, because her job was everything to her. But you're not the same way. You have a different worldview. Perhaps because you grew up with her, and you saw what it was like to be her. Everyone's different, Seishirou -- don't force yourself to fit into your mother's shoes. She wasn't that much fun to talk to, anyway.::
Seishirou had laughed again, and accepted it. Emotions were something he was allowed to have. He was even allowed to fall in love. (Which was a good thing, because at the time the Tree said all this, he already had.)
Which was why it had been so utterly unfair when, after conquering all that, Subaru had rejected him.
Not because I saw him as an object. Not even because he didn't love me. Simply because of who I was. Something neither of us could help. I fell in love with someone who could never love me back, and it never even occurred to me that it might not be a good idea.
::That's emotions for you,:: the Tree agreed.
Seishirou stirred a little in his sleep.
::Come on. Time to get up.::
::No . . .:: Seishirou unconsciously clung to his covers, willing himself into deeper sleep, trying to escape the Tree's voice.
::No such luck. Wake up.::
::Please, just a little longer.::
::Five days is five days too many. You need food and you have work to do. Up.::
::Can I sleep again later?::
::We'll discuss it later.::
::By that you mean 'no.'::
::You're a smart boy.::
Seishirou sighed and allowed the Tree to pull him into wakefulness. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, blinking hazily at the wall.
::Up. Groceries. Work later, when you're awake. Go shopping now.::
Seishirou sighed even heavier, got up, dressed, and headed out. He smoked nearly half a pack of cigarettes on his way to the store, chain smoking them one after another to make up for the five days of nicotine depravation.
It took forever and a day to go shopping. The Tree kept thinking of little errand after little errand that needed attending. Get groceries. Get cigarettes. Stop by the office and assure Akia-san and the others that no, he wasn't dead. While he was there, make sure his arm was healing okay while he had his supplies. (Disinfectant and bandages did not have a species boundary.) Get some tea from the special shop he got it from, as he was all out. Get more paper for the fax machine on which he got his orders. The list went on.
::If I didn't know better,:: Seishirou commented, ::I'd say you're trying to keep me out of the house.::
::I am,:: the Tree replied. ::You need some sunlight and some fresh air.::
Seishirou regarded his cigarette, then the cloudy sky. ::And I'm not getting any of either.::
::Oh, shut up.::
He finally finished the eight thousand things that apparently had to be done right that minute, and headed for home. He let himself in, putting the groceries down on the counter and simply leaning against it for a minute. Then he took off his coat and hung it on the wall.
Something . . . wasn't . . . quite right.
"SURPRISE!"
Seishirou nearly jumped out of his skin.
::You're really not with it if they actually managed to surprise you,:: the Tree commented.
Seishirou ignored it, turning to two sets of twins, Mitsuki, and Kakyou. "Why are you here?" he asked, directing the question at Hokuto and doing his best to avoid Subaru's eyes.
"Because you -- " She reached out here and poked him in the chest -- "were avoiding us. And we just couldn't have that, now could we?"
Seishirou glanced around. "How'd you get in?"
"The spare key, baka."
"How did you know where it was?"
"C'mon, Seishirou -- under the front mat? How much more obvious could you be? It was the first place we looked."
Seishirou looked away. "Why did you come?"
"Because, silly, we wanted to thank you for helping us out. And you had disappeared on us and gone all mopey, and I knew there had to be a reason you were avoiding us. So we just came over, and when you didn't answer, we decided to let ourselves in and surprise you."
"Oh," Seishirou said, still looking anywhere but at Subaru. "Duly noted. Your thanks are accepted. Now if you don't mind -- "
"Subaru-chan, you haven't thanked Sei-chan yet," Hokuto interrupted Seishirou, giving her brother a shove forward. "Best get to it."
Seishirou actually backed away a step.
"But how can I thank him?" Subaru asked quietly, looking directly into Seishirou's eyes. The usually poised assassin looked . . . panicked. There was no better word for it. "He did so much for me . . . I'm not sure there's any real way to pay him back."
"Kiss him," Mitsuki suggested dryly.
Seishirou took another step backwards, waiting for Subaru to laugh, waiting for him to shrug off the suggestion as being the ridiculous idea that it was.
"Yes," Subaru murmured, taking another step towards Seishirou. "I think that's a good idea."
And before Seishirou could react, Subaru took another quick two steps and was kissing him.
Seishirou froze, every nerve in his body going on immediate overload from the tension. He waited for the catch -- but Subaru honestly seemed to be kissing him. He was shy, but not hesitant; as if he knew what he wanted to convey but was unsure of how to go about conveying it.
The Tree was oddly silent throughout all this.
He's letting me make the decision, Seishirou realized. But . . . I can't. He put his hands on Subaru's shoulders and gently pushed the Sumeragi away. "Don't," he said quietly. "Please don't. I appreciate . . . what you're doing. But . . . I know you don't really mean it. I accepted your thanks, and I don't want anything more than that. Don't do this just because you feel sorry for me."
Subaru's eyes widened a little in surprise and dismay. Seishirou could practically see his mind racing, trying to come up with some way to reply to this.
What he came up with was, "Seishirou-san, you . . . you . . . you idiot!" And he grabbed Seishirou by the shoulders and kissed him again. It was different the second time; Seishirou's near-rejection had only made Subaru more sure of what he wanted. He put his arms around Seishirou's neck and twined his fingers through the older man's hair, kissing him as thoroughly as his limited experience allowed.
Seishirou tried to pull away, but Subaru wouldn't let him. So after a minute of confused shock, Seishirou gave in and began to kiss back. It was a dream, that was all -- it had to be. It wasn't unlike the one he'd had earlier. And Seishirou simply didn't care if he woke up in another ten minutes with another attack of the shakes; it was worth it. He could never have Subaru in real life; he might as well take what he could get.
Subaru finally came up for air, but didn't release his hold on Seishirou. "I'm dreaming," Seishirou murmured, burying his face in Subaru's shoulder. "I must be dreaming."
"No," Subaru whispered. "No, you're not. This is real, Seishirou-san. I'm sorry . . . for hurting you. For every way I hurt you. I never understood before."
"It can't be real." Seishirou's voice trembled and he hated himself for it. "I've dreamt of it too many times for it to be real."
"Seishirou-san . . ." Subaru pulled away a little, cupping the older man's face in his hands and looking straight at him. "I love you."
"No." Seishirou shook his head.
Subaru's heart ached. "Why not?"
"You can't. You never did. We were never allowed to be together, I tried to accept it, don't make things worse by saying stuff like that when you don't mean it."
"I do mean it," Subaru insisted. "Seishirou-san, I'm . . . I'm sorry that I was like this all these years, that I hid from you. But I didn't understand. I'm not sure I even knew what love was. I . . . I realized it the other night, when you fought so hard for me to get my family back. You didn't have to do that, but you did because you knew that . . . that if I lost them, I would be sad. Don't tell me it didn't cross your mind for a second that if you let Mitsuki die, you would be able to be there for me, and comfort me, and eventually get me to love you."
Seishirou looked away.
"I know you thought of it. Anybody would have thought of it. And a lot of people might have done it, but you didn't. You helped me find them because they're important to me. And . . . and that's what love is, even if I never realized it before, it's caring more about the other person than yourself. It's being selfless." He closed his eyes for a long minute. "God, Seishirou-san, how can you still love me? I've been so selfish all these years, thinking only of how hurt I'd been and never thinking of anyone else. I . . . I'm not sure I can ever be somebody worthy of you, but I'll try. I swear I'll try." Tears started to run down his cheeks. "I want to be with you. I don't want you to ever go away again. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I never understood. I love you. Please . . . believe me."
Seishirou reached up slowly, as if he really was dreaming, and wiped Subaru's tears away. "Don't cry," he whispered. "Please don't cry because of me."
Subaru managed a smile. "Okay, I won't. I'll do anything you want, Seishirou-san . . . anything to be with you."
::I'm not dreaming, am I,:: Seishirou sent a rather wondering thought towards the Tree.
::No, Seishirou, you aren't. And he means every word he says, I can tell. Go ahead and enjoy it -- I promise I won't get mad.::
"I love you," Subaru said again, looking up into Seishirou's eyes, where some of the confusion was starting to be replaced by hope.
"I believe you," Seishirou replied, and kissed him, and that was all. Just a kiss, sweet and soft and nearly innocent.
"Yes!" Cheers were heard throughout the room. Subaru and Seishirou -- who had both completely forgotten their audience -- looked up to see Hokuto and Mitsuki grinning like maniacs.
"Oh God." Seishirou sighed.
"I second that," Subaru replied.
"Kiss me again?" Seishirou asked.
Subaru smiled. "Sure."
The twins started to giggle. "Daddy and Seishirou-san, sitting in a tree! Kay-eye-ess-ess-eye-en-gee!"
"Kids -- " Mitsuki began reprovingly.
"First comes love!" Sakura proclaimed gleefully.
"Kids -- " Subaru tried.
"Then comes marriage -- " Tsuki continued.
Sakura paused. "But Daddy's already married."
"But not to Seishirou-san," Tsuki replied.
"But he can't marry Seishirou-san. He's married to Mom." Sakura looked puzzled.
"You'll understand when you're older," Mitsuki told them.
"But I wanna know now!" Tsuki and Sakura chorused.
Seishirou was a bit curious about this aspect of the relationship himself, but for now it could wait, and he could content himself with kissing Subaru. No chance he would grow tired of that any time in the near future.
****
"So what's going to happen?" Seishirou asked quietly. Tsuki and Sakura had started to fall asleep around nine, until Mitsuki had declared it was way past their bedtime and they were going home right now. Then she had left with a casual 'see you tomorrow, Subaru-chan.' Kakyou, for his part, managed to get Hokuto to stop giggling long enough to leave.
This left Subaru comfortably nestled in Seishirou's arms, both of them lying contently on the sofa. "What do you mean, happen?" he asked sleepily.
"Well . . . you're married."
Subaru's lips twitched in a tiny smile. "I know that, Seishirou-san."
Seishirou poked him in the ribs. "Be nice, Subaru-kun. I've been out of the loop these past few days."
"By your own choice."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Anyway, Mitsuki-chan and I really didn't like living in the house they'd been kidnapped from, so we were going to move anyway. So we've been looking at this house that's only a few miles from Hokuto's. And we were going to ask you to join us when we moved."
Seishirou was silent a long minute, considering this.
::If you say no, I'm never speaking to you again,:: the Tree informed him.
Seishirou laughed a little.
"What?" Subaru asked.
"Nothing. Just the Tree." Seishirou smiled at him. "That's fine, Subaru-kun . . . thank you. You don't think it would be weird for the kids?"
Subaru shrugged. "They're young. And after today, it's not as if we could hide it from them anyway. Besides, they like you. But believe me, you'll do your share of housework and baby-sitting." He winked at Seishirou.
"Housework and baby-sitting sound blessedly mundane right now." Seishirou lifted his hand and ran his fingers through Subaru's hair.
::What about dinner? Does dinner sound mundane?::
::No. Dinner sounds like too much work.::
::Work? Give me a break.::
::Come on. I could either go out into the lousy weather and search back streets for someone unsavory to murder and feed to you, or I can lie on the couch with Subaru-kun. Which would you choose?::
::Touché. But I get fed tomorrow.::
"Is it okay with Mitsuki?" Seishirou asked hesitantly.
Subaru rolled his eyes. "Okay? It was her suggestion." He paused. "She'll be all right, Seishirou-san. She's well aware that if she ever finds someone else she can love, I'll accept that. But thank you . . . for being concerned for her."
Seishirou didn't reply other than to pull Subaru a little closer.
After a long moment of silence, Subaru said hesitantly, "What about you?"
"What about me?" Seishirou asked.
"Well . . . I got married because I need an heir. You need one too, ne?"
"Aa," Seishirou replied. "But I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do about it. I was going to wait a while . . . but then I realized I should figure it out now, before '99."
"Hmm," Subaru said. "But you don't want to have children, do you?"
"Not particularly. Then again, neither did you. And whoever my successor is, I have to raise them from a very small child. Not only to teach them all the magic, but to give them the proper mindset."
"That doesn't necessarily mean they have to be your child though, does it?"
Seishirou blinked.
"I mean, Sumeragi magic runs in the bloodlines. But if most of what being the Sakurazukamori is relies on being chosen by the Tree, does it work the same way?"
"I'm not sure," Seishirou replied. "It really never occurred to me." He cast his eyes up to the ceiling. ::What do you have to say about all this?::
The Tree chuckled. ::That you're a bit slow on the uptake.::
::You knew it didn't have to be my child and you never told me?::
::It's my best kept secret, Seishirou.:: The Tree gave a mental shrug. ::It's supposed to be your child. It works better that way. But it doesn't have to be. As long as the successor has enough magic and can be taught the proper things, bloodlines don't really matter in this case. If the Sakurazukamori has a child, the child will be his or her successor. If the Sakurazukamori cannot or doesn't wish to have children, another child will be chosen.::
::By who?::
::Destiny, of course,:: the Tree said, in its best 'you moron' tone of voice.
::And when were you planning on telling me all this?::
::When the child was born. He hasn't been yet, you know. It'll be in about a year and a half, or so I'd guess. It's okay; I'll help you find him.::
::And if I die in '99?::
::I'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen.::
Seishirou sighed and opened his eyes, relaying what the Tree had said to Subaru.
"That makes sense," Subaru said, resting his head on Seishirou's shoulder.
"Takes a lot of weight off my shoulders, believe me," Seishirou said, then added tentatively, "You sound tired."
"I am, I guess. I've . . . I've been really worried lately."
"Sorry."
"Don't be. After all, I avoided you for eight years. What's five days compared to that?"
Seishirou laughed a little. "Well, if you're tired, we should go to bed."
"Aa," Subaru replied, snuggling even closer. "I . . . had a question, actually."
Seishirou blinked at him.
"It's about the Tree." Subaru was starting to turn pink.
"What?" Seishirou asked.
"Well, it seems like it's always watching you. And . . . sort of with you, in the back of your mind."
"Yes . . ." Seishirou's tone of voice implied that he didn't like the direction this conversation was taking.
"What about . . ." Subaru was blushing a deep crimson by now. He took a deep breath and tried again. "Um, what about . . ."
Seishirou kept blinking, until both of them heard, ::Good grief, you two, voyeurism just isn't my style. What on earth gave you that idea?::
Seishirou started to laugh. Subaru blushed even more. "I was just checking!" he protested.
::Other than to make fun of Seishirou, which I admit is tempting, there is no earthly reason I would have any interest in watching you two do anything. And trust me, I'll be able to tell when to not look. I can keep myself occupied elsewhere.::
"Good," Subaru replied, his blush dying down.
Seishirou was still snickering. "Subaru-kun, it's almost enough to make me think you were interested in doing something tonight . . ."
Subaru's blush returned full force.
Seishirou sat up, his face going serious. "Are you sure? I won't . . . if you don't think you're ready. You don't have to prove anything to me."
::Oh yes he does.::
::You keep out of this.::
Subaru smiled a little, sitting so close to Seishirou that he may as well have been in the older man's lap. "It's okay, Seishirou-san . . . after all, we have been waiting for years . . ."
"We, what's this we?" Seishirou asked. "I've been waiting for years. You've been waiting for less than a week."
"Technicalities," Subaru said with a shrug.
Seishirou sighed and stood, extending his hand to Subaru.
Subaru smiled, got up, and took it.
****
Three weeks later . . .
Seishirou stirred sleepily as he felt the covers draw back. "Where are you going?" he yawned.
"Wake up for a minute." Subaru rubbed his eyes. "I almost forgot."
"Forgot what?" Seishirou half-sat, propping himself up on his elbows. He'd already been mostly asleep; after they'd moved into the new house, he and Subaru had felt it necessary to christen their new room. He was worn out.
"Put these on." Subaru tossed his boxers to him.
"What? Why?" Seishirou regarded the boxers distastefully. Not that he had any problem with undergarments as a general rule, but there was something distinctly nice about, well, not having any unnecessary layers of clothing between him and Subaru. The Sumeragi was already pulling on a pair of flannel pajama pants.
"Because, I guarantee you, at seven tomorrow morning the kids are going to be in here, climbing all over the bed and begging us to get up and make them breakfast. They don't understand the concept of sleeping in. Since we've been staying nights at your place, we haven't needed to before this, but trust me -- come tomorrow morning, you're going to want to be wearing at least those."
Seishirou mumbled something and pulled his boxers on, then curled up under the blankets. "It's not fair."
"They're cute kids; you'll get over it."
"As long as they let us sleep afterwards."
"Oh, Mitsuki usually manages to pry them off me long enough for me to fall back asleep for about twenty minutes before they bounce back up here to kiss me goodbye before they leave for school. Then I usually get about another twenty minutes of sleep before I have to be up and about for my day."
Seishirou groaned, pulling the blankets over his head.
Subaru laughed and climbed into bed next to him, nestling up against him. "Having second thoughts, Seishirou-san?"
"Only about the kids." Seishirou's head emerged. "Never about you. I got over most of those already."
"You know you like the kids."
"Yes, that's the damnable thing about them. They're too cute for their own good. Just like you."
Subaru just smiled up at him.
Seishirou groaned. "Exactly."
"I'm tired of being cute," Subaru said, pouting.
"Too bad. You're adorable. Now go to sleep."
Subaru's eyes closed, and for a minute Seishirou actually believed it, until he felt Subaru's hands doing something that he would not, under any circumstances, define as 'cute.' He tried to say something, but his breath caught in his throat and it came out more as a stuttering gasp.
On the second try, he managed to form words. "Subaru-kun, we have to be up early . . ."
"Mm hmm," Subaru replied.
"And I just put those on . . ."
"Mm hmm."
"Oh, hell with it," Seishirou mumbled, flipping and pinning Subaru to the bed.
"That's exactly what I was hoping you'd say."
Finis
****
::I didn't have a big enough part in the end.::
Kouri: The fic wasn't about you, Tree-san.
::But still. I had a nice big role, until the end, and you ignored me.::
Kouri: Come on, I let you get Subaru and Seishirou together.
::I'm underappreciated.::
Kouri: And melodramatic.
::Give me a break. You blew me up in An X-Mas Carol.::
Kouri: ::sweatdrop:: But I didn't want Kamui to be the Sakurazukamori . . .
::And you blew me up in Aftermath.::
Kouri: That was half Karasu's fault! Why doesn't anyone ever blame her??
::And you ignored me in Reversal and Loyalties like I was just some hunk of wood. It's about time I got a major role.::
Kouri: Hai, hai . . . ::grins:: Feedback please?
