Title: Safe
Author: Joy
Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com
A/N: Got a couple of negative reviews about the story from the last chapter. Not really sure why the last chapter. Anyway, this is much more about Spike running from his hurt and starting to deal with it. I hope this will ease the hurt people have been feeling.
The cab opened in front of the Hyperion giving Spike a chance to carry out a sleeping Dawn to the lobby. The teen was completely curled into Spike's chest when Angel got the door for him. "Hank know she's here?" Angel asked.
"Hank is MIA. I've tried everywhere… I almost called Buffy to find out if she knew," Spike ground out.
"She didn't mention it when she called," the older vampire said smoothly.
"Why? Why did she call?"
"I'm actually not sure. We never got that far into a discussion…" There was a long pause. "I doubt this is wise to say but it'll nag me if I don't." Angel looked down then looked at Spike still holding Dawn. "She wants you desperately… She didn't try to deny what had been going on between you and she made damn sure I understood you cut her off… The two of you being gone is killing her… She hung up on me, Spike…me. Because she didn't like what I was saying."
Spike said nothing walking to the sofa to lie Dawn on. "Aren't you going to say something?"
"What's there to say Peaches? It's midnight in LA. Dawn's father is gone. He can't be trust to take care of her. He didn't even bother to call and let me know where he was… You want me to be upset that Buffy hung up on you?" Spike snarled.
"No, I want you to listen to what happened later," the brooder said.
"What's that? You two belong together…I've heard the tale and lived part of it. Spare me."
"No Bleach Boy, she called back from some demon dive in Sunnydale. She was calling to tell you that she had won ten kittens. She thought you'd be proud of her. She started balling about hard it was without you both there. The Magic Box is just barely holding her interest…but its better then the fast food place she was working. None of this I knew before now," he huffed frustrated. "She's been sitting in Dawn's room just to be close to her. She made friends with one of the moms of Dawn's friends. Now when she gets frustrated about the parent stuff she has someone she can call…" Spike sat down on the sofa next to his Nibblet.
Angel continued to talk as Spike just stared into space; "Slaying is harder since you both left. Not much in the way of will to not get dead…those were her words Spike. The death wish is getting to her." Angel grabbed Spike's face to look him in the eye, "Buffy went to your place and smoked your cigarettes. She is wearing your clothes… Do you understand what I'm telling you? Give her something, please." Angel worked his jaw a few times before saying, "She loves you. Fix it!"
Spike slapped Angel's arms away from his body as he stood. "You don't know anything… I've been living this nightmare for too long. I know the games. I'll go back to being the disgusting thing as soon as I get back to town… She only wants what she can't have."
Angel closed his eyes and said, "No Spike. She told me she loves you. She can't take that back and she knows it. She wouldn't have said it if it weren't true."
Spike stopped a moment then went to pick up Dawn to take her to a room. He turned to Angel, "See this face. This face loves me as I am. She doesn't want me any other way then how I am, no soul and all. This Summers woman will allow me to love her till the end of time. She will never question why I do something nice for her, because she'll know its because I love her. I will do whatever I have to do to make sure this one doesn't get burned, doesn't get eaten or abused. I will always be there for her until I am dust. Nothing you said makes a bit of difference. It is Dawn's call. If we go home, I'll deal with it then. For now I just know that Hank sucks…but maybe she won't care because I'll be here to protect her."
"You don't want to face Buffy, do you?" Angel said to Spike's back.
"What vampire in his right mind would?"
"Lame excuse…"
"You're right…I don't want to see Buffy. I don't want to let her get in my guts and twist me up. I'm just getting unwound," Spike answered.
"Tuck Dawn in… We're going to have a dead heart to dead heart."
"Bloody Hell!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tara rocked a finally sleeping Buffy back and forth in her bed. She slipped out of Buffy's bedroom to crash in Dawn's for the night. Willow stepped into the hallway to talk for a minute.
"How's she doing?" Will asked.
"Pretty bad. She's losing a battle with depression. Unfortunately, she can't do that in her work. I'm glad I found her in that bar. She was drunk, balling on the phone to Angel of all people… Losing Dawn will kill her. Losing Spike will get her killed literally," Tara said grimly.
"I guess one of us needs to go patrolling with her every night this week then?" Willow asked.
"Would be good."
"I had group tonight so tomorrow I could go," the red head offered.
"You up for that?" Tara asked.
"Yeah, I am…"
"I'm going to call Spike. I was up front with him before. I need to be up front now," Tara said as she headed for the stairs. "See ya in the morning." Willow just nodded.
"Angel Investigations, Angel speaking."
"Hi…Um…Is Spike there?" a mousy voice asked.
"Uh…Yeah. He may be indisposed. Who shall I say is calling?"
"Wow…that is professional. Tell him its Tinkerbell…He'll get it, trust me."
Angel walks over to his wayward childe who was nursing a Jack Daniels. "A chick calling herself Tinkerbell wants to talk to you," Angel informed him handing him the cordless.
Spike swiveled so he was sitting upside down on the sofa, with his head on the floor and his feet in the air. "Glinda…What is it? I was drinking myself into a nice stupor."
"You seem to be handling this separation about as well as Buffy is." Spike growled into the phone. "That good huh? Well let me one up you…being away from Dawn is killing her and being away from you is coming dangerously close to getting her killed."
Spike fumbled to try to get upright having the phone upside down once he righted him self. "Bloody…Hell…" he snarled. "Why am I supposed to care?!"
Tara smiled to herself, "One because you love her and two because you love Dawn. Buffy dying isn't a viable option here Spike. Not because of the Hellmouth but because Dawn won't survive and you know it."
A roar resounded through the building like an animal had been killed. Dawn was up in a second; she came to the door only to see Spike gesturing back into her room. The mousy girl he had scared earlier Angel shooed back to sleep.
"Nice roar… Now speak," Tara teased.
"I can't Tara…I just can't. She's going to kill me," Spike said simply.
"Spike before I kept you in the loop about everything that happened with Buffy and Dawn. I haven't gotten one call from you to tell me how things are going with Hank. You owe me that much," Tara pushed.
The sigh Spike let out told the tale. "He sucks at this, doesn't he?"
"I can't find him. He was supposed to meet us for dinner. I was going to be introduced as a close friend of Buffy's that was out here too. He never showed. His office said he was called away unexpectedly and that they were sure he'd get in touch with me… Guess I know where Buffy learned from," Spike said bitterly.
"Learned what?"
"The manipulation," he hissed. "He knew she was safe with a friend of the family so he could skip out on his daughter…He doesn't want her cramping his style," Spike said with venom.
"Guess that means you're going to have to work on the Buffy stuff after all," Tara chided.
"We don't know anything. I could take care of Nibblet here. I could work for Angel and take care of Dawn," Spike tried to argue.
"And then she would be in the same boat as she was here. Never really having a parent because he would always have to be saving the world," the blond witch answered.
"I'm defeated. We're coming home no matter what Dawn wants," he said roughly.
"She wants to come home. You know it. She also wants to make you happy. You're happy there so she's trying to be."
"Damn those Psychology classes you take!" Spike slumped down. He became very quiet, "Can you live with us too for the first week… just to make sure Buffy keeps her distance?"
Tara was shocked, "You really want this break up between you and Buffy to continue even after everything she's done to try and right things?"
"Yes, damn it! And don't kid yourself this is no break up. For there to have been a break up both parties have to agree there was a relationship or thing between them," Spike griped.
"So there was nothing between you?" Tara snapped.
"Bloody hell woman… There was pain… There was something, but Buffy would never admit it."
"She does now, Spike… I heard Xander call her reaction to your call on Friday an 'Angel attack' and 'This is way worse then Riley.' Believe me everyone knows how much she misses you. Everybody knows this was a huge break up," Tara chastised him.
"Tara…Too much pain… It doesn't feel real… I feel convenient. Second best. Like the only reason why she wants me is she can't have me or because I'm the closest thing to Angel she can get," Spike confessed having left the lobby retiring to Wesley's office again.
Tara sighed. 'Male bruised ego,' she thought. "The only time Angel's name has been mentioned was in getting in touch with you faster. She told him out right that she loved you, Spike. Having you gone has made it real to her… Every time she can't sleep or smile, she wants you. Every time something strikes her as funny, she wants you. Someone to complain about how boring her day was or how good the chicken wings are at the Bronze…it's you she wants. Very domestic, I know but true… When she was drunk tonight she said she wanted to get those cell phones with radios on them so she could radio you at home while she's working."
Spike breathed unsteady breaths as Tara spoke. "I want to believe you," he whispered.
"When have I ever lied to you?" she countered. He had no response. "I'll talk to you tomorrow after Willow and I patrol with her, for her protection… Just think about it Spike."
"Night Tinkerbell."
"Night blood breath."
Angel eyed Spike who sat stunned in the office. "What's up boy?" Angel asked very commanding.
"I…I'm… You were right about what you said… Glinda believes…I mean Tara believes Buffy. She wouldn't make stuff up," Spike muttered absent-mindedly. "I guess when we get home…I can't think about this tonight. Tomorrow when I'm sober." Spike stood up and went for the stairs.
"William," Angel addressed Spike by his real name rarely. "She loves you. If you love her a tenth as much as you loved Dru then I know she'll be well looked after."
"No, 'You're a vampire' or 'EVIL' or 'You can't change'," Spike accused.
"You've changed, but only a little. You could always love passionately and with abandon. You just stopped snacking between acts."
A/N2: I promise to give Buffy a chance folks…so calm down.