Gollum and Smeagol's Fun Diary Of Good Times
Though you may not know it, or even believe it, Gollum kept a journal. He wrote in this journal, or as he called it "Precious number 2" just about every 20 minutes. Not much to do in middle earth when you freak everyone out with your glowing eyes and slippery, all but transparent skin.
In the tall, filthy bushes of the marshes, while waiting for any old cold fish to come swimming by, Gollum wrote this entry:
ENTRY: number one…gollum gollum
DATE: Smeagol says he'll bite me if I don'ts stop writing the date and starts writing journal.
TIME: ::bites fingers:: ooof!
MOOD: Smeagol says it's time to ssstart writing, now!
Dearesst Journal,
Do we hatesss it? Yess! We hatess the fishess that sswim by too fassst for poor old Smeagol to grab and eatses. I atess a berry today and Smeagol sstole it, so now I wants fishes to eatses. Stupid Hobbitss tells me they're trying to go through marshess to buy sockses from Sssauron. Nasty Cruel Sssauron won't give them any sockses for their hairy feetses. We want hairy feetses, my preciousss. Now, Gollum, remembers doctorsss adviccce…."Counts backwards from one, when you getsss impure thoughtss of Legolasss and where he can ssstick thosse nasty cruel arrowss of his. Nasssty elves!
Another fishes! Poor gollum'll eatses my own legs if he gets no fishes to eat, today! Filthy Bagginsess always stealing thingses from us. Bagginses would stealss any fishess we catch anyway. Perhapss, I will go and reads my favorite book, "If you gives a Gollum a Ring." By Smeagol. Smeagol isss a great writer of bookses. We loves Smeagol. Kisses for Smeagol. I alssso like his other bookses. "One Fish, Two Fish, Give Gollum Back the Preciousss." and his firstest book, "The Cat in The...Gollum Wants His Preccciouss." Smeagol makess me like his bookses, because if we don'ts we getss hits from Smeagol and his hits hurtses bad! Gollum Gollum. I changed my name from "Gollum" to "Super Gollum", I hope smeagol likes it. Time to goes and looks for hobbitses and cut their hair to make hair for Smeagol. Bye bye
With hugses and kisses,
GOLLUM XOXO
Though you may not know it, or even believe it, Gollum kept a journal. He wrote in this journal, or as he called it "Precious number 2" just about every 20 minutes. Not much to do in middle earth when you freak everyone out with your glowing eyes and slippery, all but transparent skin.
In the tall, filthy bushes of the marshes, while waiting for any old cold fish to come swimming by, Gollum wrote this entry:
ENTRY: number one…gollum gollum
DATE: Smeagol says he'll bite me if I don'ts stop writing the date and starts writing journal.
TIME: ::bites fingers:: ooof!
MOOD: Smeagol says it's time to ssstart writing, now!
Dearesst Journal,
Do we hatesss it? Yess! We hatess the fishess that sswim by too fassst for poor old Smeagol to grab and eatses. I atess a berry today and Smeagol sstole it, so now I wants fishes to eatses. Stupid Hobbitss tells me they're trying to go through marshess to buy sockses from Sssauron. Nasty Cruel Sssauron won't give them any sockses for their hairy feetses. We want hairy feetses, my preciousss. Now, Gollum, remembers doctorsss adviccce…."Counts backwards from one, when you getsss impure thoughtss of Legolasss and where he can ssstick thosse nasty cruel arrowss of his. Nasssty elves!
Another fishes! Poor gollum'll eatses my own legs if he gets no fishes to eat, today! Filthy Bagginsess always stealing thingses from us. Bagginses would stealss any fishess we catch anyway. Perhapss, I will go and reads my favorite book, "If you gives a Gollum a Ring." By Smeagol. Smeagol isss a great writer of bookses. We loves Smeagol. Kisses for Smeagol. I alssso like his other bookses. "One Fish, Two Fish, Give Gollum Back the Preciousss." and his firstest book, "The Cat in The...Gollum Wants His Preccciouss." Smeagol makess me like his bookses, because if we don'ts we getss hits from Smeagol and his hits hurtses bad! Gollum Gollum. I changed my name from "Gollum" to "Super Gollum", I hope smeagol likes it. Time to goes and looks for hobbitses and cut their hair to make hair for Smeagol. Bye bye
With hugses and kisses,
GOLLUM XOXO