Meanwhile….
Ash and his friends are continuing their quest to the next gym. However, this time they don't know where it is!
"Well, we've been wandering all over the place and I STILL don't see the 'Get a life, you dope!' gym anywhere!" Ash complained. His friends sighed in response. They walk around in the huge mall until Brock spotted something.
"Hey, guys, there's something up ahead," he said. Misty stared. What could THAT be doing there, she thought.
It was Sailor Giovanni…posing for a portrait.
"Um…sir?" Misty asked. Sailor Giovanni whipped around and shushed her.
"SHHHH!!" he warned. "You'll scare the tomatoes!"
The artist looked from behind his sketchpad and waved nerviously to the group. It was Tracey Sketchit! But why was he doing here?
"Hey, Trace! Why are you sketching him?" Ash asked, motioning to the fuku-clad man. Tracey laughed nervously.
"Well, he gave me a fistful of money and Professor Oak raided Mrs. Ketchum's rose bushes and ran off wearing a tux and a mask so I came here."
"Oh man…mom is gonna be mad…" Ash moaned. Pikachu added a sigh too. Sailor Giovanni got impatient and started waving his moon scepter around.
"Come, Simba! I must gaze at my beau~tiful portrait soon and then Samuel will be all mine!" he sighed and the glittery-ness of his eyes would have made a cat sick. Everyone sweatdropped.
Meanwhile at the buffet….James is shoveling food down his throat while Jessie just sat there and gaped at him.
"My gosh, James. It is like you're pregnant or something!" she observed. James stopped eating in mid-bite and got teary-eyed.
"You just had to ruin it for me, didn't you?" he accused sadly. Jessie sighed. She felt really bad about teasing him but then again he was ignoring her.
"I thought you liked me more than food…" she sighed. James mumbled something while licking chocolate syrup off his fingers. "What?" she asked.
James swallowed and replied, "I said I do but food never hits me with a mallet." Jessie relaxed.
"Oh, okay," she replied and started throwing gummi bears at the loud, noisy kids nearby. After about an hour of some success hitting the kids, Jessie stopped. However, the kids continued on screaming and running around like headless chickens.
"AUUGGHHH!" they screamed. "It's TEAM ROCKET! They are EVVVILLLL!" (really intelligent, eh?)
Jessie got pissed and set her "Jessie Special 7000" mallet into "Twerp Calming" mode before using it on the kids.
BOOM! A WHOMP BLOMB A LOOBAP A WHOMP BAM BOOM!
The kids lay on the floor dazed after the attack of the angry Jessie. Meowth came in and sat down.
"Didn't ya ask for da 'twerp-free' section?" he asked. James continued eating. He didn't have long until the big angry mothers of the loud, noisy kids showed up. The kids had regained consciousness and had run to their mothers crying at the top of their lungs.
"Which one of you hit my dear Alice?!" one demanded.
"And my precious Tommy?!" another one chimed in. Jessie rolled her eyes as she shoved her mallet back into the hidden dimension from which it had been brought.
"Some angels they are…" she muttered. Unfortunately, the mothers heard and started attacking the trio…or at least they would have if they had seen them dart out the door before tackling James' shopping bag. However, they didn't realize their mistake until they tore his bag to shreds. They start chasing after them. Team Rocket manages to lose the crowd behind but they keep running anyways.
"AH! It's Team Rocket!" Misty observed intelligently.
"Out of the way! Out of the way!" Jessie waved her arms around as she ran closer to them. Brock blushed and went into girl-crazy mode.
"Wooooww!" he gasped. "Jessie isn't wearin' a b-"
James punched Brock in the nose as he ran by. Brock fell to the ground wincing in pain.
"AH! You hurt Brock!" Misty got mad and took out a pokèball. "Staryu! Tackle Attack!"
Staryu obeys and tackles James who flies right into a wall. He slides down against the wall with his back arched and his feet above his head. He moaned in pain. Jessie pushed Misty out of the way and ran to him.
"James? Are you ok?" Jessie asked as she knelt by him.
"Ngh…" James replied but brightened up when Jessie started hugging him.
"Wow!" Ash exclaimed. "Jessie has a Soft-Boiled attack!" Misty and Brock just rolled their eyes.
"C'mon, guys! We gotta find the 'Only-Losers-Allowed' Gym in Loserville!" she exclaimed.
"Yea!" Ash turned his cap backwards and thrust his fist into the air. "Let's go!"
Brock on the other hand, continued staring at Jessie until he remembered his aching nose and realized that the girls in his Playboy magazines didn't have body guards. He hollered and jumped in the air. "Miss April, here I come!"
As Brock runs away with Misty and Ash, James sticks out his tongue and gives them the akabe(aka the pulling down of the eyelid). Jessie cuddles up next to James.
"Jaaames?? Can I ask you something…personal?" she asked. James gulped before nodding nervously. "Do you like the kitty underwear or the lacy red underwear better?" she asked. James got a million sweatdrops.
"For ME to wear?" he gasped. Jessie scowled.
"No! On ME!" she said. James averted his gaze and got TWO million sweatdrops. He turned back, blushing like mad and tapping his index fingers together.
"Whichever you prefer…" he said softly. Jessie pushed him gently.
"Chicken…" she muttered. James got exasperated.
"Well really. Only pervy lads would look at a woman's undies…" James puffed up his chest.
Suddenly Pikachu(aka $ellout) pops out of nowhere and does its sicking-cute "PIKA PIKA" routine-thing. Team Rocket scowled at the electric rat. Pikachu simply smirked evilly and hopped around 'pika-ing' and 'chu-ing' like crazy.
Meowth's ears lowered. "Youse should tink before ya's swqueek," he said.
"What did that stupid rat say?" James demanded. Meowth put his arms behind his head.
"It said dat youse must be a pervert too cause ya's always share da same dressin' room with Jess."
"Pika!"
James blushed even harder. "I don't look at her, you stupid rat! And she doesn't look at me either. Right, Jess?"
Jessie blushed and smiled nervously. "Erm…well…"
"Right?!" James' voice cracked.
"…wrong," Jessie said at last. James sweatdropped. Jessie then stepped on Pikachu and started flirting with James, which caused him to nearly spontaneously combust. "Hey, Meowth," she asked. "Wanna go to Hawaii today?"
"Sure!" Meowth smiled but then glanced at her. "Wait…"
Jessie whispered in James ear. "When he's gone, we can get a nice, comfy hotel room to ourselves with one nice, comfy bed!" James felt pressured and loosened his collar. With all the steam that came out, he could have qualified as a human tea kettle.
"Jess, I uh…wanna go somewhere with me tonight?" he asked. Jessie's eyes got sparkly.
"Sure!" she said excitedly. Pikachu gagged and squirmed from under her foot.
"Umm..how bout..um…Luna Café?" he asked. Jessie's face fell.
"Oh…I don't have enough money," Jessie said. "How about Burger King?"
James sweatdropped. "Um…I was gonna pay…"
Jessie's eyes brightened again. "So…it's a date?"
James nodded and Jessie squealed with glee before jumping into his arms and glomping him. Pikachu got up and started conversing with Meowth who got pretty angry.
"Look, pal. Dis ain't da "Squeaky an' Capboy" bawrd!" he yelled. Pikachu grinned and squeaked. Meowth got even more ticked off. "We ain't 'Team Praduce!"
Jessie got angry too and got out of James' arms. "That does it! Arbok and Likitung! Go! Get that 'Chu!"
Pikachu taunted Arbok who got angry at the rat too.
"SSSSHA!" he hissed at the rodent.
"What's wrong, Arbok?" Jessie asked. Meowth sighed again.
"Pikachu cawlled Awboak a 'gawta snaike'," he explained.
Arbok (who was rather outraged at being called a garter snake) used its 'rage attack' on Pikachu before squeezing it half to death.
"Chuu!!!" it cried for mercy.
"Way to go, Arbok! Show that rat who's boss!" Jessie cheered.
James was confused. "I thought Giovanni was the boss."
Jessie hit James in exasperation.
"I thought you loved me…" James started to cry.
"Doesn't mean I still can't hit you!" she said defiantly. Meowth sighed.
Arbok stops squeezing Pikachu, flips it into the air and catches it in its jaws. Arbok swallows Pikachu and around the world, Pika-haters rejoice. Jessie cheered and danced with Arbok.
"But what do we give to the Boss?" James asked. Jessie winked at him.
"Simple! Instead of that dippy episode we're supposta do tomorrow…umm…what was it?"
"Tricks of the Trade."
"Yeah…that one…instead of that, we'll give him Lickitung!"
"Woirks for me!" Meowth said.
"Which one of us is going to call him?" James asked. Meowth volunteered and to his surprise, both of his human friends agreed. He walked into the phone booth hesitantly and began to call the Boss. Jessie puts a lock on the phone booth after Meowth entered and she and James ran back to their cabin. Meowth began cursing at them but then the Boss picked up.
An hour later at Jessie and James' cabin…
Jessie made James clean the bed sheets that he got dirty with blood in the beginning of the story and thought about the date.
"On second thought," she said, "Why don't we just order pizza?" James cheered in reply. While James was celebrating, Jessie made reservations for a suite at the Honeymoon Hotel.
"Oh, James?" Jessie said sweetly. "I've got a surprise for you~!"
They drive to the hotel. James gaped in awe until Jessie dragged him to their room.
"Where's the pizza?" James asked before seeing an in-room Jacuzzi. "Aw…Jess, was this a trick?"
Jessie shook her head. "Nope. Don't you want to get into the hot tub with me first?" James nodded eagerly and they went off to change into their swimming attire. Jessie runs the water into the Jacuzzi and pours bath salts into it. They both jump in and rest their heads on each other's shoulder. James looks out of the corner of his eye and spots a snorkel.
"QUIT SPYING, CAT!" Jessie hit Meowth in the head. Meowth popped up, yowling.
"It's mah job ta watch ya's twose luvboids!" Meowth hissed. "'sides, ya's left Meowth locked up in da phone booth!"
"Who cares and who the heck said it was your job to spy on us?!" Jessie scowled.
"Da Boss," Meowth said simply.
"We haven't snitched on you and your Playboy magazines!" James argued. Meowth sweatdropped.
"Y'a know 'bout dose?" he asked.
"Why else would you giggle for hours straight in the bathroom?" Jessie groaned.
"You've got problems, Meowth," James shook his head. Meowth hissed and got out of the tub.
"So what if I like human girls?! At least I like girls, James!" Meowth said in defense. James glowered at Meowth.
"I like girls!" James said defiantly, throwing a bar of soap at Meowth. Meowth deftly dodged it. Jessie held up her hands to stop them both.
"Okay!" Jessie couldn't believe what she was going to offer but she did it anyway; it was the only way Meowth would not snitch on them. "Listen, Meowth; you leave us alone for ONE night…one night and I'll buy you a subscription to three porn magazines and we don't rat on each other."
Meowth thought about the offer. "Fine. If you promise not to make me baby-sit your kid…"
Jessie and James blushed. "Ok! We promise!"
Meowth smirked and shook Jessie's hand to seal the deal. He pulled off his snorkel and glanced at them before leaving. "Have a nice night…be sure to get more than ten minutes of sleep." He snickered and left as a bar of soap hit the doorframe.
"What does he mean by that, Jess?" James asked naively. Jessie just sighed.
Ten minutes later, Jessie and James have ordered the worst combination: champagne and pizza and were eating it in the Jacuzzi. Jessie slyly picked up the half-empty bottle and poked James.
"Here, James! Have some more!" she cooed.
"Jessie, I've already had three glasses…" James thought for a minute. "Are you trying to get me drunk?"
"Yes."
"Um…ok."
Hours later both of them finished several bottles of champagne and were really drunk. James started a water fight with Jessie and they laughed insanely, splashing each other until the tub was nearly empty.
"This is fun~!" James hooted. There was a knock at the door.
"Heys! Youse twos gonna get pruny or somethin'? I needa use da shower!" Meowth yelled through the door. James attempted to look at the door but it kept moving around and sometimes he saw two doors.
"We told ya to leave us alone," James hiccupped. Meowth slapped his head.
"You morons! It's nine in da mornin'!" he yelled.
"What?!" Jessie and James exclaimed.
"Don't tell me you spent your night in da hot tub! You humans are messed up," Meowth sighed. Jessie slapped herself and made a mental note to skip the pizza next time. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Meowth went to open the door and another Officer Jenny(not the psycho one!) comes inside with the hotel manager. She took out a notepad and looked at Jessie and James who came out of the bathroom still in their swim attire.
"We have reasons to believe that you smuggled a pokèmon in here! This is against hotel policies and…" Jenny sneezed, "I am allergic!"
A female meowth comes in on the end of a leash. Meowth went ga-ga and runs over to her, babbling like an idiot before starting to hit on her.
"Hehe….so youse likes fighin' crime, don'cha? I do toose; I really like it, yeah, meow and these…uh huh, yeah…"
The female meowth smiled and rubbed against Meowth. Meowth blushed and nearly exploded with happiness. Officer Jenny took notice and clasped her hands in cute-girlie mode. The hotel manager sighed.
"Oh, Meowy-poo! You actually didn't reject one! He must be a special guy!" she exclaimed, rubbing the female Meowth under the chin. The female Meowth meowed in reply. Officer Jenny put a collar on Meowth and attached him to another leash but Meowth didn't seem to mind. She called towards the bathroom area where Jessie and James snuck into again. "If you want your Meowth back, he'll be at the station!"
James peaked out the door. "We dun' want him back…" he hiccupped. Officer Jenny leaves with Meowth and his new girlfriend in tow, shutting the door behind her.
Jessie giggled and had a great idea! Well…it was great since she was drunk. "This time, we have a fight wiffout our suits!" with that, she yanks her top off and plunges into the full tub(which she filled.) James giggled and jumped in too.
Four hours later….
James woke up with a tremendous headache. "Please explain to me why we're both naked in a hot tub without water…"
Jessie rubbed her head. "It had something to do with those Turkish Charmanders…."
"Oh yeah…they had poured liquid nitrogen down our suits…."
"So we had to take them off to save ourselves!"
James rubbed his temples. "I am gonna sleep on the couch…" Jessie grabbed his hand.
"No! you get in the bed with me! A sofa isn't the place to wait out a hangover!" she scolded. James yawned and fell on the bed. Jessie follows him and occupied the other side. She cuddles with James and he was too tired to push her away.
"'Night, James…"
"Goodnight, Jess…"