Meanwhile back at the hotel…
Gary got up from the couch and poked Ash.
"Hey, Ashy-boy, you wanna come to the mall with me?" he asked.
"YEAH! We can hide in the girls' bathroom and make 'em scream!"
"My thoughts exactly!"
They have a change of clothes and run down the hall yelling at the top of their lungs.
Misty was awakened by the horrible yelling and opened the door to see Ash and Gary still running around.
"Umm…Brock? Why do you think Ash and Gary are running outside screaming 'Team Pervert!' while wearing something that looks like a Team Rocket uniform with a P instead of an R on it?" she asked sleepily.
Brock went to the door and peeked out to see for himself. "I'd rather know why Gary has your pink panties on his head," he said bluntly. Misty thwacked Brock.
Back with Jessie and James…
"Ooooh!! Jessie, look! Widdle blue sockies that would match those blue kitty panties!" James squealed. Jessie smacks him on the head.
"No! I wanna see the sock puppets over there!" she scowled, pointing to another cart.
James started to cry. "But, Jessie~" he whined.
"Shut up!" She suddenly looked at herself in a small mirror and noticed she neglected to put on her makeup that day. "I really need a make over..."
"Then I'll have one too!" James chimed in.
"NO, YOU'RE NOT!" Jessie screamed at him. "I am not having my date crossdress on a date!"
"Aw…you're no fun…" James sulked.
"You're the one who's no fun," Jessie grumbled. James decided to change the subject.
"Um…we could take these sock puppets off and go to the food court," he said. Jessie threw her hands in the air.
"Food, food, food! I am second-fiddle to stuff on the griddle…" Jessie muttered.
"Well, flirting makes me hungry!" James whined.
"What doesn't?" Jessie sighed. In the end, she gives in and they start walking to the food court. They pass by a Dillars.
"Oooh! Prom dresses!" Jessie's eyes sparkled with anticipation.
"Yay!" James cheered.
"You can look at the tuxes."
"But dresses look so much prettier…"
"You look at the tuxes and I'll let you in the dressing room with me. Deal?"
"…deal."
They walk in the door and the cashier lady greets them.
"Oh, how cute! Are you two married?" she asked Jessie, who began to blush.
"Well, not ye-" James started to say, also blushing, but Jessie put a hand over his mouth.
"Why, yes we are!" Jessie smiled. "Well, we'll be married in half a year."
"How sweet!" the cashier lady grinned.
"He proposed to me on a beach in Greece," Jessie eyes started sparkling as she started to fabricate a story about the "proposal". The casher lady listened absorbingly. While this was happening, James started fidgeting before finally giving into his impulses and snuck past the two ladies.
Jessie finally notices his disappearance and wandered about the store, calling his name and looking through clothes racks. After a while of no success in finding him, she picks out a dress and went to try it on in the dressing room, where she found James.
"There you ar-" she started before her eyes grew wide. James was wearing a blue prom dress.
"EEK!" James squealed.
"Did you find hi-" the cashier lady came in, saw James and continued to stare at him since she had never seen a cuter bishounen wearing a prom dress. Jessie smacked him with a coat hanger.
"What, in the name of love, are you doing?!" she scolded him. James' eyes started to water and he started tapping his index fingers together in that oh-so-cute way.
"Well…this was cheaper than the tux," he said.
"That's it, I am on break!" The cashier lady walked off to get some coffee. James' stomach gave a mighty growl.
"Take off that dress and we can have Mrs. Field's Cookies, ok?" Jessie tried to reason with James. James' eyes became all sparkly at the mentioning of cookies and he instantly agreed. He changes and they walk out of the store, forgetting about the prom dresses. They walk over to a Mrs. Fields' Cookies shop. Jessie took out her wallet and began to count out the coins she had.
"Ok, James. What do you want?" she asked before narrowing her eyes. James had plastered his face to the glass display case and was drooling all over the place. She tapped his shoulder and he pried himself away.
"Umm…" he started to say before his stomach interrupted. "Eheh…can I have fifteen?"
"Holy Christ above, you can't eat that many!" Jessie cursed.
"But I am so hungry!" James whined.
"Fine…"
Ten minutes later, James ate all the cookies in the shop.
"Some romantic date this is…" she muttered. James was happily munching on the last cookie when the cashier person cleared her throat.
"$1555 please," she said.
James choked on his cookie.
Jessie thwacked his back hard and James finally swallowed the bothersome
baked good.
"Umm…can we get the money on you on Tuesday?" James asked.
"Just who do you think you are, you trouble makers?" the cashier person demanded.
The duo started twitching at the most obvious word in the above sentence. The lights suddenly dim and tiny colored spotlights start roaming the area. A very familiar piece of theme music begins to play…
"We're the villains who cause trouble!" Jessie snickered.
"And I'll be the one to make it double!" James added.
The cashier person's eyes shrank into two big black dots before she yanked the power plug out of the stereo. The music stopped and the lights returned to normal. Jessie and James fell over.
"Shut up. I already know the stupid motto. Gimmie the money and I won't call Jenny on you," the bold cashier threatened as best she could. It was still hard to take anyone wearing a red apron as part of his or her uniform seriously though.
"We're ready for Jenny any day!" Jessie declared, wielding her mallet.
"That's right!" James laughed.
"Ok…" The cashier person snapped her fingers and a nearby Officer Jenny arrives. Her whole face lit up brighter than a Christmas tree as she saw James.
"OHMYGOSH! IT'S JAMES!!!!!" she squealed as she hopped off her motorcycle and glomped James. "I am so like, your BIGGEST fan!!! Jessie is SO not for you, sweetie. Can I have your phone number?" Jenny giggled as she pinched James' cheek. James blushed and looked at Jessie.
"It wasn't my idea, Jess!" he shook his head violently as Jessie glowered at him.
"HOW DARE YOU!" Jessie gave a war cry and started swinging her mallet in a frenzy but she kept missing because Jenny kept jerking James this way and that as she maneuvered out of the trajectory of the mallet…and due to the fact Jessie didn't want to hit James. "Damnit! Hold still!"
"So, James," Jenny started tracing a circle on James' chest. "Can we go on a date?"
"Eh! Whoa! (Jessie! Don't hit me!) I am already on (WHOA!) a date!" James nearly screamed.
The look in Jenny's eyes could have killed Meowth nine times over.
"WHAT???!!!!!!!!! I'LL KILL HER! LEMMIE AT HER!!!" She squeezed James too tightly and James begins to choke. The cashier shook her head in that 'I told you so' attitude. James started to turn blue.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!!" Jessie screamed before finally nailing Jenny on the head and throwing her into the dumpster to keep her sister-in-law's sister's niece's daughter's aunt's cousin company (those Jennies are screwy anyways!).
Jessie and James then run off.
"Can we go home? I don't feel very good…" James groaned. Suddenly Jezebelle pops in with whip in hand.
"You wanna go home, dearie? Ah am ready to take you back!" Jezebelle then takes her whip and wraps it around James.
"Help! I don't wanna be fish food!" James pleaded. Jessie pulls James towards her and unwraps him and holds him close to her.
"You aren't taking him! He's MY fiancé!" she cried. James' eyes bugged out.
"James?! Is this true?!" Jezebelle demanded.
The picture suddenly turns black and blue and a gust of wind blows by. James took a deep breath.
"Why, yes she is. In fact, we had a water fight naked two nights ago, so…" he put his hands in his pockets, rummaged around and stuffed a Cracker Jack ring onto Jessie's finger. It seemed to do the trick even though it was the only thing he found.
"Wait 'til ah tell your muther!" Jezebelle howled with anger and ran off.
Jessie stared at the plastic ring James put on her finger.
"Nice ring…" she finally said. James sniffed.
"Well, if you want, we can wander into a jewelry store and get a real ring…" he tapped his index fingers together.
"Fine, but you'll be wearing a groom's ring!"
"No more cross-dressing!" James said. He finds a couple thousand dollars in his pockets after all. After the cashier person bugs them some more, he pays off the debt and they walk off to the nicest jewelry store in the place.
Meanwhile….
"BOO!"
"AWAIII!!!!" a girl cried out in fear and ran out of the girls' bathroom.
"Yahoo!" Gary cheered and he and Ash high-fived each other. "Team Pervert RULES!"
Jenny's cell phone rings and she picked it up.
"Yeah? What? Team Pervert has struck again?! Oh no…" she groaned and she got on her motorcycle and sped over to the mall.