Title: Home
Name: Joy
Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com
Spike leaned against the passenger side door in the back seat of Xander's car feigning sleep to avoid the eventuality of a conversation with Buffy. She had helped him by massaging his leg to comfort the muscle spasm he had earlier in the ride. Their attraction was never in question but the precarious balance between love and lust was too hard for Spike right now to face. Avoidance was his only out so he took it.
"How ya doing back there?" Tara asked Buffy looking in the rearview mirror.
"Awful…" Buffy muttered. "Is it so wrong for me just want him to breath out all the mistrust of me and just believe me?"
"Buffy… You used each other…badly…hurtfully. Besides his world consists of making sure Dawn is looked after. Let him get comfortable in that before asking for more… His injury gained you the trust of your sister back. She got to see how much you love him and how much you love her. You're in Dawn's good graces. Let that be enough for now," the witch said. Buffy swallowed and nodded.
Tara continued, "He wasn't there to see what I saw. He wasn't awake to see you handle Dawn lovingly, carefully and quickly. He wasn't aware of the tears that you cried for him or your fear… Everyone who saw you knows you love him."
"Everyone but him," the slayer whispered.
"He knows it too," Tara said. "But you have to admit he has a right to be afraid that if he open himself up to you again…then suddenly everything will change." Buffy looked at her with big eyes trying to comprehend what Tara might know about the situation that she didn't tell her friend. "He tried to talk to you about what was going on with you when it was just kisses… Physical…Denial…Physical…Denial. He has reason to protect himself."
"I know… I just wish he understood that when I thought he was dead, part of me died too…"
Buffy looked Spike over then groaned facing forward again. "I was so stupid… I got him to drink… I should have just let it stay there. I should have known better then to assume that he wanted to touch me. It probably just a big part of feeding…the touching, the groping," she muttered annoyed with herself. "We had made so much progress. I just had to botch it up…"
"Buffy," Tara addressed her. "You're the slayer. Do most feedings involve groping?"
Spike internally cringed. Glinda was going to get him found out or she was going to say it out right.
"No… but sometimes the vamps have their way with the females if they like them," Buffy said off hand.
"What else do you know about male / female feeding?" Tara probed. Spike had said if he thought about the way he and Buffy had been together that it was like she was his mate. Buffy had to know something about vampire mates. All Tara had to do was lead her to the information.
Spike was ready to start squirming to draw attention away from the conversation but didn't for some reason.
"What? You mean like between vampires?"
"Yeah," the witch responded.
"You aren't saying…" Buffy mumbled.
"Why not? Wouldn't that make the
most sense as to why it was too intimate to Spike?"
Buffy's eyes flit back and forth into space trying to piece the information together. "I wasn't a piece of food he was playing with… He wasn't ravaging me…He was starting to make love to me."
"And with the way things are between you wouldn't that scare the hell out of him?" Tara asked simply. Spike attempted to breath evenly as the women discussed him. He didn't want Buffy to know everything in him regarded her as a mate. Tara sighed, "Buffy you really have to let him come to you in his time. Let him be. He'll figure out what he wants."
"And what if he just wants to be Dawn's guardian?"
"Then that's his choice to make." Spike breathed deeply knowing that Tara really was on his side. Pretending to be asleep wasn't such a bad choice after all.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dawn was asleep at the arrival to Revello drive. Gunn pulled the Desoto behind Xander's car before tugging his beauty from it. She nestled into his arms as Tara guided him up the stairs to Dawn's room. Gunn removed her shoes then tucked her into bed kissing her forehead before leaving, all under Tara's watchful eye as not to annoy Buffy and Spike.
They were having their own issues. Buffy pulled the bags from both cars and left Spike to get out of the car on his own as requested. When Gunn came back downstairs with Tara Buffy promptly went to him and said, "Will you please help him downstairs? I'm not getting anywhere with him." Gunn nodded and went to the garage to see Spike juggling his crutches and splinted leg out of the car.
"Man… Let me help before you re-break that leg. Don't really want to see my girl bleeding herself dry for you again," Gunn addressed him. Spike literally snarled at the young man. Gunn grabbed the crutches out of the way and pulled Spike forward, "Dawn is tucked away so we are man to man here. I know the damage you can cause and I am physically threatened now let me help!"
Spike rolled his eyes and stopped fighting Gunn's attempts to help. Soon enough Spike was forward enough to put some weight on the almost healed leg and the brunt of it on Gunn before transferring to the crutches. "Thank you," Spike grumbled.
"No problem… Let's get you inside before you get dusty. Sun's about to rise."
The guys looked around for the girls only to hear Buffy call, "Come on down Spike…Come see your new room." Both men headed for the basement. All the windows had dark burgundy velvet drapes in front of them to shield the sun. Spike's grand bed stood in the back section of the basement fit with linens. A small bathroom had been created that was just as wide as the iron bathtub Anya had found at an estate sale that she said reminded her of Spike somehow. There was a toilet, sink and mirror despite who the bathroom was for… but it looked more normal that way. His chair, sofa and TV were situated just as you came down the stairs to form a living room area. The cot was dressed up with a comforter and big pillows to double as a second sofa.
"What do ya think?" Buffy asked biting her lip not looking at him.
"Where's the rest of my stuff?" he asked quietly.
"Oh… I boxed everything up," Tara commented. "Your clothes are mainly in the closet. Your books are on the other side of the bed. There's a small bookshelf being used as a night table right now. Your trunk is under your bed like it was at your crypt. Everything else is in boxes with Dawn, Joyce, and Buffy's stuff in the other section of the basement. I just didn't think you'd want me going through it to decide what went where."
"Thank you," he said eyeing her nervously. At least Buffy wasn't the one to get his stuff together.
"Come on Big Bad," Tara said lending him a hand. "Lets get you in your bed to sleep."
"I'm going to crash out on the cot," Gunn said removing some of the pillows to lie down.
Buffy didn't know whether to follow Spike into his bedroom or just go up stairs. Tara nodded her to follow them so Buffy did.
Tara got Spike sitting on his big bed, a place she remembered and enjoyed. And now it lived in her home, she sighed. "Do you like it Spike?" she asked again.
"A little less dank and dusty for my taste… Rather PTA if you ask me, but if I'm going to be LilBit's guardian I guess I'm going to need to get used to the Parent/Teacher thing." He let out a soft chuckle and a yawn. "My first Parent Teacher night was that night with you at the school… Remember pet?" he said sleepily. "First time I met your mum too. Hit me with an axe she did. 'Get the hell away from my daughter,' and rot like that. It's where you get your fire Buffy…from your mum…" he said as he drifted off to sleep.
Buffy stood for a minute and cried as Tara moved speedily about his limbs getting Spike ready for bed. Buffy so badly wanted to crawl up next to him and hold him. Let him hold her. Instead she let the tears fall and walked out of his bedroom to head for the stairs. "He loves you," Gunn called to the back of her. She stopped mid step. "I watched him for a week. Everything in him sings with his love for you and Dawn. All of his anguish and hurt is centered in you too." Buffy turned to look at the young man who was actually a little older then she was. "One day he's going to wake up and realize its easier just to love you and hope for the best then keep you at arms length so he can't be hurt."
"I hope so…" she said quietly and walked up the stairs.
Tara came and stood by Gunn, "I'll see about getting her to go to sleep. I'll sack out on the couch down here in a bit. I don't have the energy to go home right now."
"No problem…"
Tara found Buffy crying into her arm on the kitchen counter. "What's wrong sweetie?" Tara said kindly.
"I don't know if I can do this… He's so close. All I want to do is go back downstairs and curl up next to him. I want to hold him and know he's safe. I nearly lost him," she slightly sobbed.
Tara pulled her into a hug. "You've had no sleep, gave a lot of blood, and are emotionally exhausted. Go to sleep for a while like the rest of us. I promise I'll still be here when you get up."
"Would it be horrible if I slept next to Dawn?" the slayer asked in a little girl voice.
"No… I think she would like that."
Tara looked at the Summers girls curled into one another whispering softly. She felt like such a mom at the moment. The door next to Dawn's open abruptly as Tara was about to go downstairs. "Your back," the sleepy red head said. "Is Spike okay?" she asked.
"His legs are broken. One is almost entirely mended… You have a guest. His name is Gunn. He'll be helping take care of Spike for a little while," Tara said quietly.
"Gun?" Willow asked raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah…" Tara went to go then stopped. "I… I could tell you about the trip."
"Okay…" Willow nodded and grabbed her robe.
"So Gun?" Willow asked as they sipped on tea together.
"Charles Gunn. G-U-N-N… Dawn is very particular about that. Buffy has resigned herself to call him Charles as the mom figure in the house," Tara said with a smile.
"Huh… I feel like it's too early and I'm missing something."
"You are… Dawnie is dating the guy… The guy that is like our age…actually older then Buffy."
"This is okay with Buffy and Spike?" Willow asked completely confused.
"Not really but they aren't going to stop it… He's a nice guy. He works for Angel so he's really good at the demon-hunting thing. Gunn seems to understand Buffy and Spike's concerns because he knows what happened between Angel and Buffy… Buffy and Spike over reacted when Dawn wanted to see his apartment and he was fine with it. Then…you should have seen it. It was hysterical… He walked over to Angel and hit him in the back of the head… Later the guy says goodbye to everyone he works with then says 'And every time Buffy or Spike over react I will curse your name' to Angel. I have to say the whole trip was worth the look on Angel's face when Gunn hit him," Tara laughed.
Gunn emerged from downstairs. "You could keep it down. You may not be waking the dead down there but you are waking me, Tinkerbell," he said with a smile getting himself some tea. Willow just stared at the tall lean man before her. Gunn reached out his hand to her, "Gunn."
"Willow," she responded. "You… you're Dawn's new boyfriend… How old are you?" Tara glared at her. "Sorry… None of my business. Gave up my parental claims to Dawn when I crashed the car and got her arm broken," she mumbled into her tea.
"No worries… From what Dawn's told me she loves you very much… Big Sister category though," he assured her. "I'll be twenty two in a month."
"Oh… Oh… How long will you be staying with us?"
"Probably until Spike can move around on his own or the end of Dawn's Spring Break… which ever ends last… You might want to think about getting a cheap microwave and fridge for downstairs so Spike doesn't have to come upstairs to get and heat his blood," Gunn suggested. "When Dawn gets up we can play consumer shoppers," he said with a big smile.
"I have a feeling Dawn will want to show you off at the Bronze tonight… You should rest up," Tara smirked at him.
"I can tell when I'm not wanted… Coming down mama?" he asked off handedly.
"In a minute."
"Later." And with that Charles Gunn slipped into the basement.
"That was Dawn's boyfriend?" Willow asked.
"That was Dawn's Boyfriend and Spike's manservant," Tara joked. "I need some shut eye… I'll see you in a few hours."
"You didn't mind him calling you mama?" Willow inquired.
"At least he didn't call me Glinda like Spike has gotten into the habit of doing," she smiled and slipped downstairs.
Gunn was waiting when she arrived downstairs. "That's your ex huh?" Tara gave him a confused look. "Dawn told me… She's cute…"
"Don't start," the witch responded.
"What? You're doing such a good job helping Buffy and Spike manage their differences and being supportive of Dawn and I… Why not…"
"Gunn… I'm going to sleep now. When I wake up the last few sentences will not have been uttered okay?" Tara warned.
"Fine."
"Fine."
TBC…