Title: What's in a name?
Name: Joy
Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com
A/N: There will be no wedding… I worked for the department of Juvenal probation. I know how much the United States government likes i's doted and t's crossed. I just wanted some insurance in Buffyverse for them from the people I used to work with.
"So what are we going to do about a name?" Buffy asked.
"A name for what?" Spike countered.
"Well for the fake certificate? Do you remember your last name?" Buffy said seriously.
Spike became flustered. "I just assumed I'd become a Summers." Buffy looked at him weirdly. "That's not what I meant… no I guess that is what I meant… I always wanted to be part of the family… I'd want to be a Summers. Besides it will be easier with Dawn sighing her out of school if I need to and sighing report cards."
"Okay… But you have to call Angel to ask for it," Buffy insisted.
"No way… He's your ex."
"Your grandsire… you've known him longer."
Spike rolled his eyes, "Precisely why it would not be wise for me to ask."
"Ask Angel what?" Gunn said from the door.
Spike motioned him in. "Nice performance over at Emily's house… You want to sell tickets the next time you make out with my little girl!"
Gunn gaped and made fish faces. He had no idea what to say. 'How on earth could he know anything about that?' Gunn thought.
"Emily's mother called to complain… I understand why you did it…but don't do it again!" Spike said firmly.
Buffy looked at the boy and seized the opportunity. "Spike did something dumb… well not dumb, just not thought through. You could help us."
"What is that?" Charles looked at Buffy curiously.
"Get us a fake marriage license… protection against Social Services."
"Angel is not going to like this," the young man said.
"He can't kill the messenger if it's you," Spike informed him. "Now me asking… He'd drive down here and throttle me, no matter how well we were getting along."
"Okay… One condition…I say I came up with the idea so Dawn can stay with you. Anything else and someone is going to see part of Angelus…Agreed?"
"Agreed," Spike and Buffy said in unison.
"Okay so what state should you be married in…where…when…and what's the last name?" Gunn asked all the important questions.
"California…LA… Last Friday…" Spike started to say.
Gunn looked him in the eye, "You mean the Friday night you crushed Wesley's desk and smashed his wall?"
Spike glared at him, "That's the one… And the last name will be Summers."
Gunn sat shocked, "Man born in the 1800's and you want to take her name… I swear the apocalypse is coming."
"Again?" Dawn said from the door.
"Guess it's family time," Spike groaned.
"Hey… Supposed to be happy to see me," Dawn pouted.
"I am Bit," he said pulling her into his arms. "Its just…I'm getting hassled so bit testy."
"GUNN…Stop it," the younger Summers scolded.
"He's the one that wants a fake marriage license AND wants to take your last name… Sorry… Victorian man…its funny," Gunn responded.
Dawn wrinkled her brow, "You're getting married? You can barely be in the same room together."
"Not getting married… Creating a nice piece of paper that says we are married so nobody decides they can do a better job then us with you," Spike said simply.
"Whatever… You still have to create a last name for you to have had before you got married… You'll need things like a driver's license, social security card, birth certificate…" Dawn informed him.
"Got it…" Spike said with great fervor. "You were doing genealogy project and met me through the website… We're no blood relation of course but…"
"That is insane," Buffy snipped.
"Okay then we at a conference… sat alphabetically and met that way."
"You're really stuck on this Summers for life thing, huh?" the slayer asked.
"Otherwise I will feel weird about not giving you my name," Spike said quietly.
"What was your last name?" Dawn asked innocently.
"Ansley."
"William Ansley," Dawn said aloud. "I like that." She smiled big. "Keep your name… Buffy can choose which she wants… It's not like she has a ton of ID's to change. She doesn't even have a driver's license."
All eyes fell on Buffy. "Hey… We just started talking about this… Been Buffy Anne Summers my whole life. Need to think about changing it to Buffy Anne Summers Ansley… Buffy Ansley."
Spike got terribly emotional as his 'family' discussed his name…taking his name. He wanted to weep when Buffy called herself Buffy Ansley. He swallowed hard a few times trying to shake off the feeling of joy and pain he had residing in his chest.
Gunn noticed and pulled Dawn away saying, "Come be my back up when I ask Angel for the license. We don't have to worry what anyone will be called for the phone call."
Buffy continued to sit on Spike's bed completely lost in thought over her potential impending name change. "Buffy Anne Ansley… I'm Buffy Ansley," she said out loud. She twisted her face a bit. "They are two y endings."
"No one said you had to change anything pet," Spike said slowly looking away from her. "I can be a Summers…like I said."
She smiled at him. "No… This is cool… I don't have to be Buffy Summers, college-drop out with a great career in fast food ahead of her. I can be Buffy Ansley, married woman, college-drop out with a great career in fast food ahead of her." Spike twisted as if he were in pain. "Spike? What's wrong?"
His pain was palpable. "I don't want to do this," he whispered. "It's too much."
"Oh," Buffy let out a short cough. "Oh…Um… I thought since you… Never mind… I'll get Gunn to hang up."
"No…" Spike said trying to breath evenly. "Emotions are a lot harder with the demon unhooked, Buffy… It makes me…" He continued to breath unevenly. "Please go before I do something I regret."
She looked hurt, "What would you regret?"
An animalistic growl emanated from his throat as he vamped out. Buffy's eyes went big with fear. "See," he snarled. "I am just a monster… I can smell your fear."
'Now or never' she thought before doing something monumentally stupid. She ran her fingertips over his ridges on his brow. She caught his eyes before leaning up and kissing his demon-induced face. "I'm…not…scared…of …you," she whispered between kisses. She pulled back and looked into his yellow eyes and said, "I'm scared of what you're going to say. Just normal girlfriend afraid boyfriend is going to say something that's going to hurt a lot… that's all."
Spike sat for another minute in game face before shaking it off and looking at Buffy timidly. "Hearing you combine your name with mine was a little overwhelming… I just… It's so close Buffy… It hurts."
She nodded. "Dawn told me you'd spontaneously combust if you had to share one more intimacy with me right now… She's probably right… I can go…" Buffy said pointing to the door.
Spike swallowed his words. He wanted to say, 'that would be for the best' or 'please go.' No…He just sat there staring at her on his bed, in her…their home, and it was coming very close to being enough. Finally he looked down and said, "yeah…" He couldn't look at her as she left the room. He sucked air convulsively then grit his teeth trying to prevent the tears and the demon from spilling.
The door opened a moment later and he knew it was Tara by here smell. "I want to claim her… with everything that I am I want her to be mine…always," he groaned staring at the far wall.
"It's okay to feel that way," she said soft and sweet. "You love her a great deal."
"It's because of the blood," Spike
said as he gasped for air. "It was so close to mating… to being…"
Tara sat on the far side of
the bed. "Have you told Buffy?"
"I can't… I can't explain why I'm denying myself and her."
"She may not understand that but she'd understand better why suddenly you get overwhelmed and need her to leave… You might also want to consider not thinking of it as the worst thing in the world."
Spike rolled over in annoyance. "You can't tell me your desire to move back in and carry on as if nothing happened, doesn't feel like the worst thing in the world!"
"No… I can't…" the blond said sadly.
"Tara…" Spike sighed. "What I want and what I need are two different things… If I were to claim her now, I would lose myself in her. I would lose the ability to take things slow."
"Okay… I'll tell her no more intimacy for a while. No choosing names together… though you did bring that one on yourself."
"I know… Tell her I'm sorry," he said pitifully.
"No problem," Tara stated before she left the room.
Buffy was standing in the living room wearing Spike's duster so her wouldn't pick up on her scent. Tara looked at her with a disapproving glare. She dragged the slayer upstairs. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" Tara demanded.
"I just need to know what was going on," Buffy said frustrated sinking don't into a chair in the kitchen.
"It's going to be like this for a long while," Tara warned.
"I know."
"No throwing what you heard in his face!" the witch commanded.
"Got it," Buffy assured. "At least there's hope."
"There is hope… but be careful not to over step your bounds… I'll be watching." Buffy smiled at her friend's joke.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Dawn!" Spike screamed up the stairs. A month had past and Spike was getting the hang of the parenting thing. He bounded up the stairs and banged on the door. "DAWN! Answer the door now or I'm picking the lock."
No response. Spike picked the lock quickly to find Dawn's window open and her gone. "I'm going to kill her," Spike growled.
"Not in her room," Buffy said biting her lip.
"No… Stay here… I'm going to find the little urchin."
Dawn walked crying through the street. Spike and she never fought. Not really. He always listened… Why didn't he listen? She kicked the rocks in front of her. She just wanted to go to LA to surprise Gunn. It wasn't a big deal. It was just for his birthday.
Spike stormed up and down streets on his motorcycle. Stupid surprise… Gunn was coming to visit for his birthday… Wesley gave him time off… It would be the first time they'd seen each other since Gunn helped Spike get around while he was injured. LilBit and he were going to have a serious talk about the way she takes off when she's angry.
Shortly Spike pulled up beside Dawn on the street. She could tell he was ready to kill her. "Get on the bike!" he said in clipped English. Dawn got on. Neither said anything the entire ride.
"Get inside!" Spike barked. Buffy saw the scene before her and sat back. Spike's fight with Dawn…he would finish it.
"Now pick up the phone and call your boyfriend… You will tell him about our argument and what you just pulled… Do you understand?" the hostility in his voice was about at the same level it was the first night she had come back and he couldn't find Dawn.
Dawn stared for a minute then picked up the phone and dialed. "Hi… Hi Gunn… um… I'm in a lot of trouble so just listen. I wanted to come visit you for a surprise for your birthday. Spike said I couldn't come… We fought…then I ran up stairs, got mad and climbed out my window and took off… I really don't know why I have to tell you all this…unless it's to let you know why you can't talk to me for a while."
Spike perched himself in the doorframe and waited. Dawn was listening to Gunn talk her eyes darting back and forth. Finally she heard something she didn't expect and locked eyes with Spike. He raised a knowing eyebrow at her before she clamped her eyes closed. Spike took the phone from her, "Sorry Gunn story time is over. Now Dawn is going to face the music."
"But…" was all Spike before he hung up the phone.
"Living room, now!" he ordered.
Dawn sat down hard on the sofa biting her lip. "You were right… You won't be talking to him much in a while…or anyone else," Spike said in that controlled tone that reminded you what he had been. "I don't know what I'm going to do about the visit. I don't think it's fair to punish Gunn for your audacity but I'm not sure yet…"
Spike leaned in close to her sitting on the coffee table. "You can't do that Bit. You're pissed…YOU CAN'T SPLIT… When things were bad, it was indulged because you were in pain… It doesn't cut it anymore."
Dawn looked annoyed, "If you would have just told me…"
Spike was on his feet, "NOT THE ISSUE! I told you no. You have to respect that… regardless the reason of why I said no… We aren't going through this every time you and I don't agree." He glared down at her, "You wanted a parent… You got it. Now if you ever slip out your window again…I'm boarding it up. You ever run away again… you're grounded until you're seventeen." Dawn nodded. " Okay then?" he sighed his tension out.
Dawn nodded again meekly. She stood looking down. "LilBit?" he said softly. She looked up and saw love in his eyes. He hugged her close. "You scared me… I love you… I don't want you getting hurt."
"I know… I'm sorry," she said in a small voice. "I love you too… No scaring the Big Bad." Spike held her tighter for a second then let her go.
Dawn trotted up the stairs with Spike watching her go. "She won't disappear," Buffy said softly.
"You did," he answered just as softly. "You were there one minute and gone the next."
Buffy and Spike had been living together for that same month and things had gone pretty smoothly with them too. Spike slowly started to trust Buffy more and more. But the closer it came to the anniversary of the day she had died, the worse the pain in his chest became. Their days were numbered and he didn't want to think of the time he wasted after she was taken from him again.
He turned toward her slowly, reaching out to stroke her cheek. She reveled in the small intimacies they did share. The way he stroked her cheek was one of her favorites. "Want to go to a movie with me on Friday night?" Spike asked in a small voice.
She smiled at him, "I'd like that."
TBC…
A/N: Next chapter will be the last… Just a warning… I have the coolest way to end this. I'm so excited. It came to me and I almost didn't give you shippers any resolution to the Buffy/ Spike tension.