A Real Family

A Slayers Fan fiction

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Chapter Two; Illusions, Illusions, Everywhere!!

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Zelgadis really didn't care for boats. It wasn't anything serious, really, just leftovers from his year and a half as a stone monster. As a creature made out of a substance notorious for its lack of buoyancy, Zelgadis had an understandable paranoia of water. It had possibly been the sole substance on earth that could kill him, he knew that for certain because there was short period in there when he had tried just about everything. It was just that Rezo showed up again before he had a go at drowning himself just to see if he could breathe underwater on top of everything else!

While a rather snazzy spell had restored his human body and left him with most of his chimerical powers, he still felt a small aversion to water. To add insult to injury, the only thing that stood between him and the hereafter was a precarious structure of wood only a few inches thick.

He told the crew of the boat that he got seasick and being down in his cabin lessened the symptom... which was mostly true. If he didn't have to see the endless stretch of death liquid he could pretend it wasn't there.
To take his mind off his potential death, Zelgadis had taken to reading and re-reading the letter Amelia had sent him. It was short, formal, and to the point.

Zelgadis-sama,

Lina-san killed her husband. I'm tired of watching you sulk, it's your own damn fault you didn't fight that jerk for her. If you don't get your stony butt to Zephilia and seduce her I'm going to exile you! Don't think I don't mean it!

Love and Kisses,

Amelia

PS You've got two weeks, and if I don't hear wedding bells your ass is grass! Gourry and Sylphiel have promised to help me, too!

A copy of the letter Lina had sent her quickly followed Amelia's letter from Lina, detailing exactly the events that had preceded her husband's death. Lina had gone into just enough detail that Zelgadis had ultimately decided it was a very good thing the bastard was dead. Murder was very hard on one's karma and Zelgadis still had a lot to work off from his short stint under Rezo's command.

As he understood it, Lina was now the proud foster mother of two hellion boys and a rather shy young girl. Four pages of the five-page letter had been devoted solely to them and their new home.

The boys were Larsac and Lothor, twin boys from the cold northern reaches. They remembered enough of their heritage to protest being called 'Ice Elves', especially since for all that they bore the pointed ears of Sidhe race they were as mortal as the next. Their foster sister was Briar whose papers proclaimed her to have been captured in a raid of the Austurian Forest Ranger camps. Lina's letter boasted of the boys' magical skills and Briar's flawless archery.

Zelgadis chuckled over the notion of Lina running after three children who were probably bigger than she was. He sobered quickly though when it occurred to him that she would pretty soon have a fourth to deal with. The idea was rather disturbing if not thought provoking.

His mother had always told him that pregnancy was a delicate time in a woman's life. She'd always postulated that a woman's emotional balance became severely unhinged and then even the toughest woman was prone to mood swings and crying spates. Her advice had always been that he could expect a trying nine months, whoever his bride.

No duh.

Zelgadis pondered a sweet, dewy, emotional Lina for all of ten seconds before consigning the idea to the paper shredder. Nope. No way. Never. He'd believe a fire breathing, fireball-tossing Lina before that.

Not that she wasn't usually like that anyway...

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A league or so north of the schooner bearing Zelgadis nearer to Lina by the moment lay Zephilia. Or more precisely Yatamo, the main port and Capitol of Zephilia. Actually it was the larger of the two harbors. The other was Nirichi on the north side of the island, but it saw less action than Yamato since only Yamato actually faced the mainland.

Beautiful, gem-like Yamato city was the second thing that any foreigner saw of Zephilia. The first thing a foreigner saw was the docks where the customs guards and the vermin vied for supremacy... and the vermin were winning. Crates of fish and rotting vegetation were piled this way and that to greet the visitor to Zephilia's relatively safe shores. If they failed to convey the proper reception then the day and a half of quarantine in cells only slightly better than the docks and rough, repeated searches usually did the trick.

What a foreigner wouldn't know was that the crates of rotting fish and vegetation were carefully maintained by a crew of artists and the vermin were bred especially for their immunity to disease and their ferocious looks yet chicken-hearted demeanor. The idea behind all this anti-welcome campaign was to discourage the rest of the world from discovering Zephilia's quiet, peaceful climes sending their population soaring and their economy plummeting. Remember, Zephilia is a very small island that can only support so many people.

Lina tapped a slipper-clad foot on the grimy wood of the boardwalk where 'Ladies' were consigned to wait for their parties. Normally Lina wouldn't have spared propriety even a first thought (much less a second one) and set herself up in a tavern with a light snack (read seven course meal), but that was before she had a fourteen-year-old daughter to set a good example for.

Dammit.

Briar was standing demurely at her side, the very picture of angelic innocence. A froth of golden curls surrounded her rosy cheeks and blue eyes. Her heart shaped face and pert little mouth gave her all the seeming of a cherub who only lacked wings to gain access to the pearly gates of Heaven.

Most deceptive.

In reality, Briar's namesake was an apt description of her true personality.

Briar could act as pure and innocent as the next, even Lina had been taken in for the first few weeks they'd been officially mother and daughter. After that though, Briar had dramatically acclimated to her new surroundings and promptly disposed of the guise... at least around Lina and her new brothers. The girl had a tongue that could draw blood at fifty paces and a mind to match. Her mastery of the thinly veiled insult was par none, but on the rare occasions when she exhibited a temper that put Lina to shame she revealed repertoire of curse words and foul language that... well, there wasn't anyway to describe it really. Briar once held a cursing contest with her brothers that lasted for about two hours and she didn't repeat herself once.

After her growth spurt Lina had reached the grand height of five foot eight yet Briar already stood as high as her foster mother's shoulder. Briar exhaled gustily and glanced about the dock. "Where are Lars and Loth?"

"Getting into trouble, like as not." Lina answered tiredly. Her back hurt, her feet hurt, the sun was beating down on her, and the brat in her womb was tap dancing on her liver. "Where's that damned boat?" she muttered under her breath.

"Do you need to sit down?" Briar asked in concern, unlike the boys she was more likely to pick up on things like that. Although more often she exploited the talent in searching out weaknesses...

"Yes, I do. But somebody who knows what Zel looks like should be here so he doesn't get caught in 'quarantine'."

Briar shook her head and sent her curls bouncing in a way that would have made Shirley Temple green with envy. "You sent projections of the twins and me to your friends, didn't you? He should be able to recognize us!"

"Briar..." Lina started.

"Mother! It'll be fine. I'll find him. You go sit down in the shade, I'll come for you once he's here." Briar reassured Lina. "Go sit down!"

Lina sighed and allowed herself to be ushered into the shade of a tavern.