Dear Diary,
People in the world all fall in love. We all find that one person that we think we are meant for, or at least for that time. We think that he or she is the one person that will forever full fill our lives. We think that it is the most wonderful time of our lives. It's something that we need to have. Something to make us adequate in a way.
Look at Rory and Dean. They think of each other with great affection. They love each other. Really love each other. Well I guess that they do. I would know. But back to Rory and Dean. They do everything together. If I weren't Rory's friend, I'd hate them for that! But I don't. That would make me a bitch.
Now there is the maybe-non-existing romance with Luke and Lorelai. They think that there isn't anything between them, but everyone else knows. We really know. I know. They are obviously in love with each other, or at least like each other as more than just friends. It's just that they don't. I can understand in a way. I mean. Look at what Luke has gotten him into in the past. There was Rachael. I didn't know her, but from what I heard, she wasn't really meant to Luke. Maybe neither was meant for each other, even now. And there is Lorelai. She isn't the commitment kind of type. Look at her past relationships. I don't want to sound like Emily Gilmore, but even I have eyes. I know that none of them lasted long enough to be really considered to be a relationship. They really are meant for each other. Again if I didn't like them as much as I do, I'd think that they should just get over it and stop wasting the town's time.
But then it brings back to me. Lane Kim, the daughter of Kims. Proud, smart, and very conservative, Kims. I know that I will never have a love like Rory and Dean, and Luke and Lorelai, but that opportunity was given to me. I had Henry. I HAD Henry. That's past tense. I don't have him now. I wish that I did. I really liked him. I really miss him……
But I don't want to wallow. I won't wallow. Well I did, but that's in the past. I mean think about it! What will wallowing do for me? I don't see the point of it. Maybe for a little bit it could be expectable to wallow but not now. Not when it's been for more than a while. I don't think that it's right. I shouldn't have to be burdened with the thought that I will be alone. I know that when I grow up I will be with Rory and Paris talking over whether we should merge our companies or not.
But that makes me think again, will that be the time where I will finally feel calm about something like this. I don't want it to be then. I want it to be now. I don't care about the future! Well I do. I don't want to be in sales like the career aptitude test says. I want to be someone. Give me breasts and pom-poms and I'll be happy being a Dallas Cowboy's cheerleader. Then I will know that I'll be far away from sales. And plus I know that I can be a cheerleader.
I think that this may mean more than I think it is. I wonder……
People in the world all fall in love. We all find that one person that we think we are meant for, or at least for that time. We think that he or she is the one person that will forever full fill our lives. We think that it is the most wonderful time of our lives. It's something that we need to have. Something to make us adequate in a way.
Look at Rory and Dean. They think of each other with great affection. They love each other. Really love each other. Well I guess that they do. I would know. But back to Rory and Dean. They do everything together. If I weren't Rory's friend, I'd hate them for that! But I don't. That would make me a bitch.
Now there is the maybe-non-existing romance with Luke and Lorelai. They think that there isn't anything between them, but everyone else knows. We really know. I know. They are obviously in love with each other, or at least like each other as more than just friends. It's just that they don't. I can understand in a way. I mean. Look at what Luke has gotten him into in the past. There was Rachael. I didn't know her, but from what I heard, she wasn't really meant to Luke. Maybe neither was meant for each other, even now. And there is Lorelai. She isn't the commitment kind of type. Look at her past relationships. I don't want to sound like Emily Gilmore, but even I have eyes. I know that none of them lasted long enough to be really considered to be a relationship. They really are meant for each other. Again if I didn't like them as much as I do, I'd think that they should just get over it and stop wasting the town's time.
But then it brings back to me. Lane Kim, the daughter of Kims. Proud, smart, and very conservative, Kims. I know that I will never have a love like Rory and Dean, and Luke and Lorelai, but that opportunity was given to me. I had Henry. I HAD Henry. That's past tense. I don't have him now. I wish that I did. I really liked him. I really miss him……
But I don't want to wallow. I won't wallow. Well I did, but that's in the past. I mean think about it! What will wallowing do for me? I don't see the point of it. Maybe for a little bit it could be expectable to wallow but not now. Not when it's been for more than a while. I don't think that it's right. I shouldn't have to be burdened with the thought that I will be alone. I know that when I grow up I will be with Rory and Paris talking over whether we should merge our companies or not.
But that makes me think again, will that be the time where I will finally feel calm about something like this. I don't want it to be then. I want it to be now. I don't care about the future! Well I do. I don't want to be in sales like the career aptitude test says. I want to be someone. Give me breasts and pom-poms and I'll be happy being a Dallas Cowboy's cheerleader. Then I will know that I'll be far away from sales. And plus I know that I can be a cheerleader.
I think that this may mean more than I think it is. I wonder……