Okay, my first…very very mild lemon. You don't know how dirty I feel now. I have written a full story that links with this one, but it isn't up yet. This is a Yue/Reiyanka fic, where he's leaving her as he has to be sealed into the Clow book again. Kinda a sweet weepy lemon.
I do not own any of the CLAMP characters used in this fanfic, I also don't own the song – it's by Mariah Carey. However I do own Reiyanka and the plot of this fanfic – thank god I own something in this fanfic! Anyways, don't sue me, as I have absolutely no money to give you!
Butterfly
By Stacie Kay Shaw
Butterfly
~~*Yue*~~
I watched as Reiyanka tossed and turned in her sleep, crumpling the black covers of my bed. I just lie next to her – watching, listening, remembering…thinking. Her face is still streaked with tears, I hurt her so much today. I've been battling with my brain for weeks now, trying to figure out a way to tell her without hurting her…to tell her that I had to leave her. God, she asked me when I would come back, how could I break her heart by telling her that she would never see me again. Now that all the Clow cards have been captured, I have been appointed to guard them, to live in the book of Clow and guard the cards for an eternity – an eternity without her by my side.
When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold youI must open up my hands
And watch you rise
~~*Reiyanka*~~
He told me he's leaving me, forever. I've only just found him and now I'm losing him again. Why did Sakura have to capture all of the cards? No, that's selfish – if the cards weren't all safely locked up in the book of Clow they would be causing chaos on earth still…I'd probably have seen even less of Yue. I don't think he realises how much I love him, and that since we got together I have been petrified of losing him – and now that fear is coming true. Why did he have to tell me now? Why couldn't he have just not told me? I'd rather he had just disappeared without saying a word, at least then I would be able to spend the next two weeks with him happily. I have fourteen days in which to tell him I love him, he knows how I feel, but I've never said it out loud. I was going to tonight, but before I could Yue sat me down and shattered my entire life…Yue is my entire life, the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I see before I go to sleep. I'm such an idiot, letting someone – who isn't even human – break my heart in two. I'll never forget this…ever…but, Yue has a job to do – it's his calling, if I love him I should just let him do this, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness. I'll be happy for him; I can pretend at least…we don't need the both of us hurting.
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Oh, fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
~~*Yue*~~
I don't want to go, if I leave…I will spend another lifetime alone. And what if Reiyanka finds another to love? I couldn't bear that, I'd sooner die. I'll pretend to be happy, maybe it won't hurt her so much that way. I don't ever want to see her hurt again, but I don't want to be without her. I finally find the one person I want, and I have to leave her…why did Sakura have to capture all the cards, couldn't she have left two or three to give me longer with Reiyanka? What am I saying? If a few cards were still free then they would be causing havoc on the earth. But it hurts to think that I'll never see her again, never get to see her get older, go to college…maybe…have a family…but it won't be with me.
I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land
~~*Reiyanka*~~
I can't stand this any more, why can't I go with Yue? Then I could be with him forever…would I just stop getting older or would it just keep going as normal? How should I know? I've never had to consider living the rest of my life in a book. No…I'm insane, it's his choice, he can't have both as it wouldn't work. I don't see why one of the other guardians can't guard the cards. God I'm being so selfish, if he would rather stay with me he will, if not I have to let him do this…it's up to him no matter what I want…
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Oh, fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
~~*Yue*~~
I'm not going, I don't want to leave. In all the centuries I've been around I have never found someone who understood me and took me for who I was…until now…and I'm not about to give it up because of duty. I have tended to my duties for centuries upon centuries, and now I'm going to take my life back. I want to be with Reiyanka, they'll just have to find someone else to guard the cards. I want to be with her, not some stupid cards, what comfort would they give me in the evening when there isn't anything to do, they wouldn't cuddle up to me and kiss me on the chin like Reiyanka does. They wouldn't fall asleep in my arms and hold me tightly in front of the fire. My decision is final, I'm not leaving, I'd be giving up too much – and I'm not prepared to give her up.
I can't pretend these tears
Aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feel's to fly
~~*Reiyanka*~~
I can't stop having nightmares; I'll just pretend to be asleep so I don't have to talk about Yue leaving. He's awake too, running his fingers up and down the back of my neck. I just want to turn around and kiss him, but I'll upset myself even more. If I don't look at him I'll be fine, as long as I don't see his crystal blue eyes, or his beautiful long silvery coloured hair, or his sweet lopsided smile that never comes out quite as he wants, or…or…sob. If only I could sob silently, I think he's heard me. Oh god, he's turning me to face him. I can't look at him; it'll make me feel even worse. Help, oh no…it's too late, I didn't close my eyes in time, I saw him. He looked upset, and worried. I don't want him to feel like this too, maybe one cuddle won't hurt…just the one…
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Oh, fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
~~*Yue*~~
She's crying, and it's all my fault. She looked at me as I turned her round and started crying even more, and then she did the strangest thing. She just closed her eyes again and wrapped her arms around me, but much tighter than usual – as if she was worried I would disappear…but I guess she's allowed to feel that way. That's just made my decision final; I'm not leaving her. I can't bear to be away from her. She's shivering whilst she's holding me, I slide my arms around her and let my wings close over her to keep her warm, slowly the shivering subsided and I heard a faint sigh. Reiyanka pulled away slightly, I must have looked hurt when she did that because she grabbed my hands instead. She moved her lips lose to my ear and whispered the three words that just made my heart dance, she whispered quietly into my ear 'I love you'. That was amazing, I've never felt so happy in my life…and I've led a very long life. I wish I was human, somehow I think this would all be easier if I was human – just like her. After she told me she loved me Reiyanka kissed me, it wasn't one of her usual kisses though, it was a lot harder than usual, any harder and she would've bruised my lips. But it was nice, strange because she's never done that before, but nice. She did the most curious thing after that though, when she kissed me the second time she gently forced her tongue into my mouth, I happily let her though. I'd never known her to be so forward, I mean, we'd been together for about three months and the most I'd ever had was a quick peck on the lips, nothing too passionate, nothing that I could ever construe to be an invitation to anything more. And I respected that, that was her choice and I wasn't going to be the one to force her to do anything. When she finally stopped kissing me I put my index finger over her mouth to keep her quiet. When I told her that there was no way I was going to be locked inside some fucking book when I could be with her a mixed reaction appeared on her face. The look was one of surprise and happiness, and it gave me a strange feeling inside my stomach as I watched her smile in utter joy that I wasn't leaving her.
~~*Reiyanka*~~
Yue isn't leaving me; I'm not going to lose him. I've never felt so happy in my entire life. Yue looked a little shocked when I kissed him and slid my tongue into his mouth, I don't think he was expecting that. But I though that I may as well do it now as I might not get the chance later. But now I will, I'll have all the time I want to do anything I want to with him. He's been really patient with me about the issue of having sex; he's never tried to pressure me into it. In fact he refuses to consider it until he can tell that I'm ready, maybe he should look a bit harder then – because I want to. Maybe I could just come out and tell him, I handled telling him that I love him pretty well, so this should be easy enough…I hope! Yue isn't going to leave me, god it's finally sinking in, I can spend the rest of my life with him…this is amazing!
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Oh, fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
So flutter through the sky
Butterfly
Spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
"Yue?"
"Yes Tenshi?" Yue pulled Reiyanka back into his arms; she cuddled him and kissed the nape of his neck. "You know you said…that when I was ready to…we would?" Yue's eyes widened and he held his love tighter. "Yes, why…are you…ready to?" He felt a big lump rise in his throat as he finished speaking, he swallowed hard and it disappeared, he looked down at Reiyanka, she smiled faintly and nodded shyly. "Yep"
"Are you sure? And I mean completely sure" As usual, Yue was more interested in making sure Reiyanka was okay before even giving himself a second thought. "Yes, I am. Do you…want to?"
"Of course I do, but…"
"But what?"
"I don't want to hurt you, you know I'd never hurt you, not on purpose" Yue was shaking, he was obviously quite nervous about this. Neither of them had ever slept with anyone, and they were both nervous about it, not knowing what to expect. "I know that, well…do you want to...now?"
"Yes, I do…" Yue tried to say more but Reiyanka took another chance and muffled his voice with a long lingering kiss, Yue moved so that he could lie on top of her and undo her shirt, she had gone to sleep fully-clothed. As Yue undid the tiny buttons on Reiyanka's midnight blue shirt and pulled it off her Reiyanka started undoing everything Yue was wearing, Yue's clothing fell away easily leaving him with nothing on. Reiyanka's clothes took a little more time and effort, especially as Yue had never had to deal with undoing a bra strap in his entire life. It took a little while, but he got it in the end. He threw Reiyanka's clothes into a pile somewhere near the foot of the bed before kissing Reiyanka again. He pulled away momentarily to look at her, Yue had never seen Reiyanka fully naked, but he decided it had been worth the wait. She was perfectly proportioned in all areas, and her milky white skin contrasted so harshly with her deep purple-black hair, which fell in tendrils over her shoulders. She looked so perfect he though if her touched her she would be marred in some way. He was the first male to see her this way, and he was determined to keep it that way. No other guy was ever going to see her naked, not whilst he was still around anyway.
When Yue finally worked up the courage to touch Reiyanka, his hand trembling as he did so, it was such a relief. For so long he had wanted to do this, and now finally he had his chance to. Yue ran his fingers down Reiyanka's flat stomach, across to the sides of her waist – making her giggle slightly as his fingers brushed past the ticklish part of her stomach. As he continued down her stomach, Reiyanka pulled the bands out of Yue's long hair and let it fall as she ran her hands through it. He couldn't help but smile as he started to get a little…over-excited at touching Reiyanka. Thankfully Reiyanka didn't seem to mind at all and just went on touching his face, pushing her hands behind the back of his neck, pulling his lips to hers for another passionate kiss. Yue was so happy, to finally be with someone that cared for him as much as he cared for them. Yue stopped thinking altogether and just got back to reality, wrapping his arms around Reiyanka even tighter as he kissed her lips, cheek, and neck…in fact he was placing kisses on any part of Reiyanka's body that he could. He listened as little gasps, sighs and moans came from Reiyanka. She was enjoying it as much as he was.
Yue couldn't take much more of this, although it felt great it was also slowly torturing him not to do anything more. Yue looked Reiyanka straight in the eyes as he parted her legs enough to ease into her, hoping for it to be as painless as possible. He never wanted to see her in pain, Reiyanka seemed quite calm at first, it didn't hurt at all, unfortunately just as she relaxed into it a sharp pain shot through her, she tensed up, holding onto Yue for stability and biting her lip to stop herself from screaming. Reiyanka tried her hardest not to, but she screamed so loudly it scared Yue. Her nails were digging into Yue's arms, and tears filled up her eyes, as the pain got more and more intense, it felt like it was hours until it subsided, but once it did Reiyanka loosed her grip and began to relax. It could only get better from then on, right? And she was right, it got better. Once Reiyanka had relaxed completely Yue leaned down to kiss her, burying his face in the curve of her neck and kissing her gently wherever he could. Reiyanka wrapped her legs around his waist in an attempt to make it easier for Yue. Yue was still concerned about hurting Reiyanka, but once he heard one blissful moan from her as he pushed into her whilst kissing her just behind her ear that was all he needed to gain so confidence in what he was doing.
Reiyanka couldn't help but smile at Yue; he hadn't taken his eyes off her for any more than five minutes at a time. As Yue pushed into her again, slightly harder than before, Reiyanka raised her head and murmured into his ear 'Aishiteru Yue' just before she tensed up and cried out in complete happiness, she grabbed hold of the black sheets and the duvet that were near her, trying to calm herself down. But it felt so good it just didn't work. She couldn't stop shaking or smiling after that feeling completely relaxed and content. She had had her first orgasm, with her first love, on her first time. That seemed quite symbolic really, but maybe Reiyanka was just a bit of a romantic. Yue didn't take long after that; he buried his face in her neck once more, muffling the loud moans that were escaping from his lips. He'd never felt this feeling ever, and he was glad it had been with Reiyanka. He pushed in once more before he came fully, the feeling that came over him the and there shocked every nerve in his body. He smiled at Reiyanka and wiped the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand. As he pulled out of her and kissed her, he flopped next to her on the bed and cuddled up to her, pulling the duvet over the both of them, he tightened his grip on her before whispering 'Aishiteru Reiyanka' He pressed his lips to the back of her neck and heard her sigh a final time that night. 'Oyasuminasai Koibito' Yue smiled as he heard Reiyanka whisper his new 'nickname' before her eyes closed.
'Oyasuminasai Tenshi' Yue replied as he watched his angel for a moment and then closed his eyes. The both of them drifted off into a deep peaceful slumber and woke up in love with each other as much as before, if not more.
Tenshi – Angel
Aishiteru – I Love You
Koibito – Lover
Oyasuminasai (spelling?) – Good Night
Well, this was my first attempt at a hentai-esque fanfic, what do you think. Reiyanka is just a character I made up; she just came to me in a day-dream during a maths test! So what do you think of this as my first hentai-esque fanfic? I do have another version of this where the sex scene is a lot more graphic, but I'll wait and find out the reaction of this version. R & R please! xxx