Disclaimer: not mine
Okay here is chapter four sorry it took so long. Max's thoughts are in 'marks' hope you enjoy it.
Chapter 4: fears
Max and Logan were driving home both ecstatic that the baby would be ok. But Max had other thoughts racing through her mind. 'Oh my god what have I gotten myself into. I don't know what to do with a child. I didn't even know what parents were growing up and I still don't, not really. I have no model for what to do I don't know what to do how to raise a child' "Oh god how could I let myself get pregnant?" Max hadn't even realized that she had said the last part out loud until she felt the car swerve and then when she looked over at Logan saw that instead of watching the road was staring at her. Not with his normal loving look but with a look of confusion, horror, concern, but mostly just pain.
"What?" He spoke in a broken whisper if it had been anyone besides Max they wouldn't have really heard him, but by looking at his face, in his eyes anyone would have known what he had asked, what he was really asking.
"It's nothing honey don't worry about it." Max wished she hadn't said it out loud. Now she just wished that just for now he would just let it drop
"No Max I think this is something you need to tell me. This is something I have the right to know about." He was looking at her as she spoke but his gaze went back to the road as he stopped at the light.
"Logan I love you and will talk to you later I promise, but I have to be alone now." With that Max hurried out of the car and ran away. Logan couldn't believe it. His first instinct was to fallow her, catch up with her and talk to her. But he knew he could never catch her, not when she didn't want to be caught. So instead he went home alone and she went to the space needle alone. And for a while they both just sat and wept.
It was three hours later when Max slipped into the apartment. She found Logan sitting on their bed holding on tight to something that she couldn't see. "Hey." He looked up when he heard her voice he had that same expression on his face, but there was something else there now too, hope. "I needed to take a shot of liquid tryptophan." when he heard why she came back his face fell. "And we need to talk." Well at least she is willing to talk about this now Logan thought and he took her wanting the shot as a good sign that she did want to keep the baby. When he looked at her though he saw that nervous caged animal look she used to get two years ago when things would get to be too much emotionally. So he did the same thing he did then.
"Ok angel but first let's get you some food and that tryptophan." He just took care of her as much as possible, gave her the some space for now and understood she would open up to him when she was ready and until then there was nothing he could do to force it. He was rewarded by the small smile that graced her features for a minute. They did exactly that then settled together on the couch Logan was about to start talking about it when Max started first.
"Logan I'm sorry I ran away and I'm sorry for what I said." she looked at him with big pleading eyes, he wanted to just forget it all and hold her. But he just couldn't do that there were things he needed to know.
"Do you not want to have this baby with me?" It hurt him just to ask but he didn't see how he couldn't ask it.
"What?" Max was shocked this was not what she expected him to ask at all.
"Max you said how could you let yourself get pregnant. If you don't want this we can talk about it, you don't have to pretend it's what you want if it's not."
"Logan look at me I need you to really hear me with this ok" He nodded slowly and looked into her eyes. "I want this baby more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. I am scared that I wont be a good mother. I didn't have parents or a childhood really so I have no idea how to gibe those things to a child. But I know no matter what that you will make a great dad so out child will be ok. She is still eight and a half months from birth but I love her so much already Logan."
"Max you are going to be a wonderful mother. You are great with kids, a natural at taking care of people. Most importantly though is that you will love your children and do anything for them. You have nothing to worry about." Then he gave into his earlier urge and just held her. They talked through their fears and were both feeling better. "Max promise me from now on you will tell me if you get scared about...wait a minute earlier what did you mean her?"
"What?"
"When talking about the feeling you said her, what was that about?"
"Oh that was nothing just a feeling."
"So your thinking we are going to have Tinga Eva Cale instead of Zackary Benjamen Cale." Before responding Max leaned in and kissed him.
"You want to name the kids after my siblings?"
"I thought it would be nice."
"It is." She kissed him again then got up took his hand and led him back to their room.
Please please review let me know what you think of it.
Okay here is chapter four sorry it took so long. Max's thoughts are in 'marks' hope you enjoy it.
Chapter 4: fears
Max and Logan were driving home both ecstatic that the baby would be ok. But Max had other thoughts racing through her mind. 'Oh my god what have I gotten myself into. I don't know what to do with a child. I didn't even know what parents were growing up and I still don't, not really. I have no model for what to do I don't know what to do how to raise a child' "Oh god how could I let myself get pregnant?" Max hadn't even realized that she had said the last part out loud until she felt the car swerve and then when she looked over at Logan saw that instead of watching the road was staring at her. Not with his normal loving look but with a look of confusion, horror, concern, but mostly just pain.
"What?" He spoke in a broken whisper if it had been anyone besides Max they wouldn't have really heard him, but by looking at his face, in his eyes anyone would have known what he had asked, what he was really asking.
"It's nothing honey don't worry about it." Max wished she hadn't said it out loud. Now she just wished that just for now he would just let it drop
"No Max I think this is something you need to tell me. This is something I have the right to know about." He was looking at her as she spoke but his gaze went back to the road as he stopped at the light.
"Logan I love you and will talk to you later I promise, but I have to be alone now." With that Max hurried out of the car and ran away. Logan couldn't believe it. His first instinct was to fallow her, catch up with her and talk to her. But he knew he could never catch her, not when she didn't want to be caught. So instead he went home alone and she went to the space needle alone. And for a while they both just sat and wept.
It was three hours later when Max slipped into the apartment. She found Logan sitting on their bed holding on tight to something that she couldn't see. "Hey." He looked up when he heard her voice he had that same expression on his face, but there was something else there now too, hope. "I needed to take a shot of liquid tryptophan." when he heard why she came back his face fell. "And we need to talk." Well at least she is willing to talk about this now Logan thought and he took her wanting the shot as a good sign that she did want to keep the baby. When he looked at her though he saw that nervous caged animal look she used to get two years ago when things would get to be too much emotionally. So he did the same thing he did then.
"Ok angel but first let's get you some food and that tryptophan." He just took care of her as much as possible, gave her the some space for now and understood she would open up to him when she was ready and until then there was nothing he could do to force it. He was rewarded by the small smile that graced her features for a minute. They did exactly that then settled together on the couch Logan was about to start talking about it when Max started first.
"Logan I'm sorry I ran away and I'm sorry for what I said." she looked at him with big pleading eyes, he wanted to just forget it all and hold her. But he just couldn't do that there were things he needed to know.
"Do you not want to have this baby with me?" It hurt him just to ask but he didn't see how he couldn't ask it.
"What?" Max was shocked this was not what she expected him to ask at all.
"Max you said how could you let yourself get pregnant. If you don't want this we can talk about it, you don't have to pretend it's what you want if it's not."
"Logan look at me I need you to really hear me with this ok" He nodded slowly and looked into her eyes. "I want this baby more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. I am scared that I wont be a good mother. I didn't have parents or a childhood really so I have no idea how to gibe those things to a child. But I know no matter what that you will make a great dad so out child will be ok. She is still eight and a half months from birth but I love her so much already Logan."
"Max you are going to be a wonderful mother. You are great with kids, a natural at taking care of people. Most importantly though is that you will love your children and do anything for them. You have nothing to worry about." Then he gave into his earlier urge and just held her. They talked through their fears and were both feeling better. "Max promise me from now on you will tell me if you get scared about...wait a minute earlier what did you mean her?"
"What?"
"When talking about the feeling you said her, what was that about?"
"Oh that was nothing just a feeling."
"So your thinking we are going to have Tinga Eva Cale instead of Zackary Benjamen Cale." Before responding Max leaned in and kissed him.
"You want to name the kids after my siblings?"
"I thought it would be nice."
"It is." She kissed him again then got up took his hand and led him back to their room.
Please please review let me know what you think of it.