When You Walked Into My Life
by Elysia [ely_chan@yahoo.com]
Part Five: Making Amends
Her notepad fell to the table. Flustered, she scrambled to pick it up and tried to gather what was left of her composure. It only got worse when a hand brushed hers as she took the pen from the table top and placed it back in her apron pocket. This was the last thing she needed. Anything but this...
"You're the last person we expected to run into, Serena," Andrew remarked. Darien was too shocked to say anything; he just sat there and stared at her. "Join the club," she muttered softly under her breath. She tapped her pen against the notepad. "Well, did you decide what you're going to order yet?" Serena asked cheerfully, finally meeting Darien's gaze. He continued to stare back, a solemn look filling his eyes. Andrew reached over and nudged his friend. "You might catch a fly or two if you leave your mouth hanging open like that."
Darien shot a look at his roommate and dropped his gaze from Serena's, too embarrassed to retort to Andrew's comment. Pointing to the menu quickly, he mumbled, "I'll have that." Andrew asked for the same, and with a quick jot of her pen, Serena wrote down their orders and scurried back to the kitchen.
The moment she slipped through the door, she heaved a loud sigh. "You are not going to believe who's out there," she remarked as she gave the order to the cook. Tia, another new waitress working the same shift, perked up from her cleaning. "What do you mean, Serena? Is there someone famous out there? Oooh, you're so lucky!"
"Not exactly, Tia. It's two guys I know from college. I dated one of them right before I left three months ago, but things ended on a sour note and this is the first time I've seen him since then. I don't even know how he ended up here." She sighed again. "I can't go back out there. It's too awkward. Tia, would you mind taking over for me? Their food is almost ready."
Tia threw her cleaning cloth over her shoulder with glee. "Sure, Serena! I need all the practice I can get with serving! I'm so tired of cleaning all the time." She grabbed the plates from the counter and bounded out into the dining area.
Andrew noticed the serving door fly open out of the corner of his eye and turned back to Darien. "Here's your chance. You can talk things over with Serena and clear this up once and for all." Darien nodded and lifted his head, but was surprised and disappointed to find another girl standing there with their food.
"Here you go, two specials of the day. Is there anything else I can get for you?" Tia asked brightly.
His food forgotten, Darien looked around the cafe briefly. "Umm... can you tell me where Serena went? I thought she was getting our food."
Tia wrinkled her forehead in thought. "She's somewhere in the back. She asked me to take over cause something came up, but if you really want, I'll go get her for you." His head bobbed up and down, and the young waitress skipped back into the kitchen.
"Serena!" Tia called out as she shoved the door open, "Come back out here! That guy wants to talk to you!"
"Do you have to announce it to the whole town? I can't see him right now, Tia. Please, just go finish up the job and let them eat in peace."
The young girl frowned. "I think you're hiding from something, Serena. I may not know your story, but I think you ought to finish your job first." Serena's eyes widened, and she hung her head. "You're right, Tia. I hate that." She sighed. "Will you do one last thing for me? Will you take this note back out to him? This will have to do for now." Serena handed her a folded slip of paper.
"I feel like I'm playing monkey in the middle," Tia remarked dryly, and went back out to hand over the note. As she gave it to him, Darien looked at it quizzically and she shrugged. "She told me to give it you, but I have no idea what it says." With that, Tia returned to the kitchen, leaving the two guys alone in the quiet diner. Darien unfolded the paper, and skimmed its contents. Without warning, he jumped up from his seat and started looking for the nearest exit.
"Darien? What's the matter with you? What are--" He was suddenly interrupted. "Whatever you do, Andrew, don't leave. Just... stay there. I'll be right back," and he bolted out the door, leaving his friend dumbfounded. Where was he going? Darien never did things spontaneously. Shaking his head, Andrew finished his meal, wondering what had gotten into his roommate.
Meanwhile, Darien ran around the back of the diner to a dimly lit alley, and to his disappointment, found no one there. The note had said she would be here waiting for him. He leaned over to catch his breath.
"I knew you would come," a voice suddenly said, making Darien jump. Serena stepped out from the shadows, a light jacket covering her shoulders. "Sorry to make this all appear like a cheesy mystery movie, but it's the only way we can talk in private." He took a couple of steps towards her, but she didn't move. "Serena, I know you must hate me, but--"
"Darien, I could never hate you," she interrupted quickly. "You've obviously gotten a few things mixed up, but I did too. I'm sorry that I never got a chance to clear things up." He blinked. "Clear things up? What do you mean, Serena? I'm sorry for not talking to you before you left."
Sighing, she pulled her jacket tighter around her to fend off the chilly breeze. "I'm the one who should be sorry, Darien. Remember, I was the one who practically left you hanging. I never meant for this to happen. I'm sorry for making you go through this."
Darien placed his hands on her shoulders. "If either one of us says sorry again, I'll scream," he replied, cracking a smile. "It was a big misunderstanding on both our parts, Serena. Don't go blaming everything on yourself."
Tears started to well up in her eyes. "Thank you for being so understanding, Darien. There aren't many guys out there who are as accepting and sympathetic as you are." She slipped her arms around his waist and gave him a slight hug. But before she could get away, he tightened his hold on her and pulled her into his embrace.
"Serena..." he murmured lowly, sending shivers down her spine, "is it impossible for me to think that we could ever be the way we were before?" She sighed softly, enjoying the warm and comforting feeling that raced through her from being in his arms again. She'd missed that. "I don't know, Darien. You've still got school and I'll be here. I don't want to tie you down. Let's just stay friends, like it was before."
"Friends? Is that all you want? I'm willing to give you so much more than that, if you'll let me."
"I know you are, Darien. But at the moment, our friendship is for the best. Please, just trust me."
He sighed and nodded. "Will I ever see you again?"
"I really don't know. If you decide to take another crazy road trip like this one, then I'm sure you will. In that case, no good-byes." She shivered suddenly. "I have to get back to work, and Andrew's probably wondering what I've done with you after all this time. C'mon, let's go inside."
******
'''It's better not to hope for things when we live separate lives.'''
"That's what she told you?" Andrew exclaimed after they had gotten back into the car. "She didn't give you any chance whatsoever?"
Darien leaned back in the passenger seat and stretched. "On the contrary, Andrew. I got more out of her than I ever thought I would. Just because distance separates us doesn't mean I'm going to give up." He stared out the window at the diner growing smaller in the side view mirror. "She means too much to me to let go without trying."
******
"I'm going out with Mika tonight! I'll be home around midnight!" Sammy called out as he thundered down the stairs. Serena scrambled off her bed and ran after him. "Sammy, don't you dare! It's your night to cook dinner!" She was answered with the slam of the front door. Scowling, Serena plodded down the stairs and into the kitchen where her mother was putting away the groceries. "I swear, that kid could get away with murder if he wanted to," she muttered under her breath. "Why didn't you try to stop him, Mom?"
Her mother smiled. "Sweetie, he's still young. Let him have his fun."
Serena dropped into one of the kitchen chairs. "You never said that when I was his age. What's so important about being seventeen?" she pouted.
"That's because you're the oldest. You have to set a good example for your little brother."
She rolled her eyes. "Good example my foot. He'll do whatever he pleases with or without my example." Then her gaze caught sight of the day's mail at the other end of the table. Curious, Serena reached for it and sorted through the pile, just once wishing that she would get something other than junk mail.
To her surprise, the last envelope had her name printed on it. She peered curiously at it with the familiar address in the corner. Why was she getting a letter from them now? Ripping open the envelope, Serena quickly read through the unfriendly form letter and let it fall back to the table, surprised at what she saw.
Perhaps this was the answer she was waiting for.
******
A tap came at her door later that night. "Serena?" came her father's voice as he opened the door. She was sitting at her desk, her back to turned to him as he came up from behind. "You left this on the kitchen table. Is it important?"
Serena turned around and saw he was holding the Letter she had received that day. "Read it and tell me what you think, Dad. I need a second opinion."
He unfolded the paper and skimmed over its contents, then he looked down at his daughter. "I remember you mentioned this a couple of months ago because it was so important to you. Didn't you want to do this?"
She shrugged and turned around. "Back then I thought I would for sure, but now, I don't know. A lot of things have changed since then, and a few events in the last couple of months has changed my feelings. If I do go, I'll have to face them up front, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that."
Her father nodded. "Sweetie, it's your decision. Whether or not you decide to go is completely up to you, and your mother and I will support you in it." Serena groaned. "Dad, you're supposed to tell me what to do, not leave it up to me. That's what parents are for, right?"
He chuckled. "Wasn't it only last year that you practically yelled at your mother and I to leave you alone and let you make your own choices? I thought that's what you wanted."
She rolled her eyes. "You always know when to use my words against me, don't you? Just like a parent..." Serena took another look at the letter, then closed her eyes. With a sigh, she replied, "I guess I need to think this over."
Her father leaned over and gave her a hug. "You may be all grown up, but you're still my little girl. And I'll always be proud of my little girl."
******
The spring air was still chilly, so Serena took a light jacket with her as she stepped outside for a walk. Unusually cold for late March, she thought to herself. But it felt good to be outside on a night like this. It had been a while since she had had time all to herself.
This was an important decision she had to make. She knew she had the support of her parents, but that wasn't always enough. They practically supported her in everything she did. Come to think of it, this was a really silly thing to be dwelling over. She'd faced bigger and more important choices before. So why was this so hard for her?
Serena thought back to that time a month and a half earlier, when she had run into Darien again. No matter how much she tried to deny it, it had been so good to see him again. To hear his voice, to see his smiling face...the way he had held her. If she had let herself, no doubt she would have melted in his arms right there and then.
But was that what she really wanted? She'd never opened up to anyone before, and she was afraid if she did now, she would only get hurt. But she had hurt herself and Darien in the process anyway. Serena sighed, creating a small cloud in the chilled air. Maybe this was supposed to happen. And if Darien was willing to hold out for her, she should make an effort on her part too. If she was going to get hurt, she wanted him to be the one to do it.
She was going to go back.
******
Reaching into the back of the closet, Darien frowned. Where was it? He needed it on a day like today. He called into the other room. "Andrew, have you seen my lucky tie?"
"The one with the yellow smiley faces on it? I think I saw it yesterday. Check the second shelf down," his roommate yelled from the kitchen.
"A-ha! Found it!" Darien exclaimed and pulled the tie from its hiding place. He had worn this same tie at his high school graduation and planned to wear it for his first college graduation. Two long years and the day had finally come. His college career wasn't completely over yet, but it was nice to know part of it was out of the way.
He finished knotting his lucky tie and reached for the robe hanging on the closet door. Slipping it on, Darien felt different when he wore something like this, almost as if he became a different person.
"Are you almost ready, Darien? We have to be to the gymnasium in 20 minutes!"
"Just a second!" he called back. "I have to find my cap and tassel." Looking among the mess of blankets, clothes and many other items, he plucked the black cap and matching tassel from underneath a towel laying on the bed. He ran out of the room to find Andrew waiting by the front door, dressed identically, only his mortarboard was already perched on his head. Black wasn't even one of their school's colors, but it was considered traditional for a college graduation.
"I feel like I'm going to a funeral wearing all this black," Andrew muttered as they walked the two blocks from their apartment to the gymnasium. It was the only building on campus large enough to house all the graduates and their guests. Fortunately, they arrived with ten minutes to spare, so they took their time finding the other graduates and putting final touches on their appearances.
A voice crackled through the loudspeaker in the auxiliary gym. "All graduates, please assemble yourselves in single file lines so we can proceed smoothly. If you want to sit by friends during commencement, have them line up in front or behind you. Please do this quickly so we can begin on time. Thank you."
Andrew was already standing in front of Darien as they moved into their line. "This is it," he muttered to his roommate. "We're finally going to graduate, Darien."
Darien smiled and opened his mouth to reply but was stopped by a tap on his shoulder and a voice from behind. "Mind if I stand next to you?" That voice sounded awfully familiar... but it wasn't possible. He was only imagining things. His heart was playing tricks on him, trying to make him believe that she would somehow show up. It was just some other person who wanted to stand next to them, that was it. It wouldn't be her.
He turned around slowly. At that moment his heart skipped a beat and his jaw dropped to the floor. "Serena? Wh--what in the world are you doing here?"
She grinned brightly, her blond curls bobbing up and down and her tassel swinging from side to side. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss this for the entire world!"
Darien was beyond puzzled. "Bu--but... I thought you already graduated." She tugged on her cap, trying to make it stay in place. "Technically yes, I graduated last semester, but there's no way I would miss commencement. But you didn't answer my first question, Darien. Do you mind if I sit next to you?"
He blushed slightly and nodded. "Of course. How could I deny myself such a privilege?"
"All graduates proceed to the tunnel! Please proceed to the tunnel!" The loudspeaker crackled through the room one last time.
As they began marching towards the main gym, Serena reached in front of her and suddenly took Darien's hand in hers. He looked back at her, his eyes twice their size. She just smiled and squeezed his hand gently. Then he gave her a tender smile. "I'm glad you came back, Serena."
"So am I, Darien. So am I."
**********
And so finishes my tribute to my junior college. I never thought it would take this long. Most of all, I want to dedicate this story to everyone I met during those two years. Whether or not you read this, know in your hearts that the impact you have had on my life will never be forgotten.
My thanks also goes out to everyone who encouraged me to complete this. I wouldn't still be doing this today if it weren't for your awesome support.
Until next time, ja ne!
Elysia
(c) August 2000