The One With The Christmas Strife
Chapter two of: 'TOW The Thanksgiving Kiss'
By: Jana~
*****~*****
--"Wow, Monica, these leftovers are fantastic!" Ross complimented his sister as he, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica sat around the small dining table…
"Yeah, think of how great the meal would have been at the time I made it." Monica replied as she began to clear the dishes to the sink…
"You're not mad cause we took off yesterday, are you?" Phoebe asked as she took a second helping of yams…
"Not mad." She replied…
"If not mad, then what?" Ross asked…
"Then, nothing. I was bummed, but, now I'm not."
"I need something sweet…" Joey interjected… "You have any pie?"
Monica rolled her eyes… "Bottom shelf of the fridge…" Discreetly, she glanced over at Chandler who was reading a magazine, propped up comfortably on her couch. She felt instantly ridiculous as her mind conjured up thoughts about how adorable he looked. It was almost like how it might be if they were married… as she busied herself in the kitchen, her husband would sit comfortably on the couch, reading the paper.
*What the hell are you doing?* she yelled at herself, silently in her mind… *Now you're imagining that you're married to him?! What the hell's the matter with you!*
"Mon? You ok?" Her brother's voice brought her out of her thoughts…
"Huh?" She looked around to find that everyone was staring at her… including Chandler.
Chandler smiled when he saw the blush cross her cheeks. He didn't know what it was that had caused the reddening of her face, but she looked so beautiful, he couldn't help but smile…
"I'm fine…" she replied, her reaction delayed, then she continued with what she had been doing…
Everyone shrugged off her odd behavior… except for Chandler. He watched her with greater interest. She'd said everything would be as it was before, but clearly, things were different. She looked at him differently… acted differently around him. He didn't know what to make of it… and her actions intrigued him.
*****
--"Rachel's due back Sunday, right?" Ross asked as he stood and stretched, the ache in his legs reminding him of just how long he'd sat motionless on the couch…
"Yeah…" Monica replied lazily, curled up against Chandler on the couch, watching the movie that signified the start of the onslaught of Christmas movies that would be airing from then till New Years.
"Ok…" he acknowledged her… "It's getting late, so, I'm gonna head home now…"
"Yeah, me too…" Phoebe stood and started looking for her shoes… "Wanna share a cab?"
Ross nodded… "Sure."
Monica and Ross both looked to Joey, who's head was leaning against the back of the chair he was sitting in… snoring lightly as he'd fallen asleep…
Ross threw a handful of popcorn at him to wake him, but it wasn't the salty kernels that jarred him out of his slumber…
"Ross! Don't throw food!" Monica snapped, jumping up from the couch… "It makes a mess!"
Joey yawned and stretched… "The movie over?"
"No…" Ross replied… "But clean-up time is about to begin…" he warned…
Joey's expression turned to that of horror… "Oh! Gotta go!" He jumped up and headed for the door… "Bye!"
They all said their good-byes just before the door slammed shut…
"Ready Pheebs?" Ross asked as he picked up some of the popcorn he'd thrown at Joey, attempting to appease his sister…
"Yep." She grabbed her jacket, then turned to Monica, hugging her… "Thanks for Thanksgiving."
"You're welcome."
"Let's go Christmas shopping tomorrow!" Phoebe suggested excitedly, and Monica chuckled…
"Sure. Sounds fun."
"Let's go Pheebs…" Ross urged as he stood by the door… "Bye Mon. Bye Chandler."
Chandler waved half-heartedly as he continued to watch the movie playing on TV…
--Monica watched Chandler for a moment before moving to clean the mess Ross had made…
"Forget about that for now…" he suggested… "Come finish this movie with me…" He patted the spot on the couch beside him…
She hesitated for a moment, then set the tiny vacuum down and curled up next to him again…
When the commercial came on, she felt him pull her a little tighter to him…
"This is nice…" she whispered, then she waited for what seemed like hours for a response…
"Yeah… it is." he agreed, then kissed her hair…
She hesitated before speaking up again… "About yesterday…"
He stopped her with a sound only Chandler could make… "You promised never to mention it again."
She nodded, knowing he could feel her doing so… "But, how long do we do this?"
"Do what?"
"Pretend there isn't something here." She could hear and feel him hold his breath… "How much longer do we sit this close to one-another… supposedly innocently. How much longer do we gaze at each other… hug each other… support each other… and continue to avoid the deeper meaning behind it all?"
He gulped in air before speaking… "God, Monica, I-- I can't. I would love to… but--" He unwrapped himself from her and stood… "I better go."
She watched him as he grabbed his shoes off the floor and quickly retreated without even once looking back.
--He knew if he looked back, he would do something he regretted. He would take her into his arms and kiss her… he would ruin everything between them.
His relationship with Monica was unique. He adored her… loved her… he could always count on her. And he was more than happy to return the favor. She was the only woman he'd ever allowed himself to get that close to, and not try and fail to make a relationship out of it. If they tried now, he would screw it up and lose her forever.
No, it was better if they remained friends… so he told himself over and over… in almost a chant-like manner… 'We're better off as friends. We're better off as friends.'
*****
--"Whoa. Wait. Back up…" Rachel was baffled by her friend's admission… "You think you like Chandler? Since when?"
Monica shrugged… "Since Thanksgiving for sure…"
"You go on one little weekend excursion…" Rachel muttered to herself… "Ok, so, what exactly happened on Thanksgiving?"
--Monica recounted the events of the day… and of the next day… and the feelings that went along with those events…
"Huh…" Rachel shook her head… "Ya'know, I've noticed before how close you guys seem. And when I first moved in, I briefly wondered if you two were an item…"
"See?" Monica gestured in agreement… "I think a lot of people would think that! We act like were dating! Except for the sex… he's like my boyfriend!" She sighed as she sipped her tea… "I don't think he wants to be…" she added… "My boyfriend I mean…"
"And that I don't get." Rachel fetched herself some tea and joined Monica at the table… "That Thanksgiving back in '88… he was drooling over you pretty heavy!"
Monica shrugged…
"He was!" Rachel emphasized… "And the way he looks at you. And acts around you… and hugs you. Is there for you. He's always sitting so close to you… or standing close to you. Or--"
"I get the idea Rache…" Monica stopped her… "What's your point?"
"It's just… I woulda thought he was carrying a torch for you or something."
"You know, briefly, I thought maybe he was too. On Thursday… it was something he said…"
"What did he say?"
"I apologized for kissing him, and he'd said something like: 'I'm just sorry it didn't mean anything.' …And when I asked him what he meant by that, he said something about having another reason to hate Thanksgiving… if I rejected him."
"Rejected him?" Rachel repeated… "He said that?"
Monica nodded… "Yeah. Well, he stopped short, but I'm pretty sure he was going to say 'reject'." She paused in thought for a moment… "Well, I was pretty sure. Now… not so much."
"You need to sit down and talk to him."
"I kinda tried. He didn't want to. He left."
"He's such a man! Running from stuff!" Rachel huffed… "Ugh!"
"I think he might be afraid."
"Afraid?" Rachel chuckled… "Of what?"
"Commitment. He's always been weird about it…" Monica groaned as she moved to pour herself more tea… "His parents really messed him up."
"So…" Rachel broached the obvious question… "What are you going to do now?"
"I have no idea." Monica admitted… "I have no idea…"
*****
--Things between Monica and Chandler were strained over the next several days, and everyone pretty much noticed. Ross and Phoebe figured they'd had a spat or something, but Rachel knew the truth, and Joey was about to…
--"Dude…" Joey approached Chandler with a beer, handing it to him… "What is up with you and Monica?"
Chandler avoided eye contact as he took the beer… "What do you mean?"
"You guys are acting like you had a fight or something. Avoiding each other and stuff…"
He shook his head… "Not really."
"Hey, if you don't wanna talk about it, it's cool. Just thought I'd see if you wanted to or something…"
He took a healthy gulp of his suds, wondering if he should take his friend up on his offer… wondering if it would be a bad thing if he did…
"Can I trust you to keep it between us?" Chandler asked, breaking the brief silence…
Joey nodded… "Sure."
"Ok." Chandler set his beer down on the counter and sat on the barstool at the counter… Joey joined him… "Remember when you first moved in, I told you I liked this one woman, and that there was no way it would ever 'happen' between us?"
Joey squinted as he tried to follow… "Yeah…?"
"I told you we were really close… as friends? And that if it ever got out, how I feel about her, it would ruin everything between us? Make things awkward?"
Joey nodded…
"The woman I was talking about…" he hesitated… "Monica is who I was talking about." After Joey gasped in surprise, Chandler continued… "And on Thanksgiving, the cat sorta got let out of the bag."
Joey scowled… "Cat? What cat?"
Chandler rolled his eyes… "It's an expression, Joe."
Comprehension washed over his face… "Oh! I get it!" he smiled triumphantly, then his expression changed again… "Oh! Oh my God! You and Monica?!"
"Me and Monica, nothing. We can't be anything. If I try to date her, I'll lose her forever."
"You lost me again…"
"I suck at relationships. I ruin them with efficiency! I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to lose her."
"So, now, hang on. So… on Thanksgiving, what happened exactly?"
--Chandler explained the events of the holiday, and the events of the following day, finishing off his beer within a few seconds of finishing his recounting…
"So, now, she knows you like her?" Joey asked, unclear about a few details…
"I don't know. I think so."
"And, how does she feel about you?"
Chandler thought for a moment… "I have no idea."
*****
--It was strained and awkward, but Chandler and Monica forced themselves to be in the same room together, trying to divert suspicion away from their odd behavior. It was Christmas after all, and if they avoided each other on this day, all of their friends would figure that there was something very wrong between the two.
They exchanged gifts, listened to Christmas carols, ate an amazing feast prepared by Monica… and watched the lights on the tree and the candlelight from the Menorah flicker in the nearly-dark, overly-decorated apartment.
Light conversation was had, but mostly, they just sat and enjoyed each other's company as the easy-listening radio station played holiday music commercial free… their gift to their listeners…
"For New Years…" Chandler suggested… "Let's not do the date thing, hmmm? Let's just have it be the six of us… just dinner."
"Well, that's fine by me…" Ross agreed… "Seeing as how I have no one to bring anyway."
"Same here…" Phoebe conceded…
Joey's face and voice got whiny… "But I like having someone to kiss when the ball drops!"
"Kiss Phoebe." Chandler suggested casually… Phoebe giggled as Joey smiled at her seductively…
"Oh good! Ok!" Rachel interjected… "But, now, Monica can't kiss Ross, cause he's her brother. So… Ross and I will kiss and Chandler and Monica will kiss!"
Ross was secretly excited about that plan, having had a secret crush on Rachel for years… "Sure. Ok." He tried not to sound overly enthusiastic…
Monica glared at Rachel briefly before agreeing… "Fine." She stated simply…
Chandler shifted uncomfortably… "Fine." Chandler agreed…
*****
--The rest of the group had already gone home, or in Rachel's case, to bed… leaving Chandler and Monica alone as she tidied up. She grabbed a trash bag and started collecting bits of balled up wrapping paper that had been ripped from the gifts just hours before, avoiding even acknowledging Chandler's presence…
"Can I help?" He finally broke through the unbearable silence…
"Nah. I have it under control." Monica replied…
He nodded, watching her as she cleaned. Things had been so strained between them during the previous month, and he wondered if it was ever going to get any better…
"Chandler?" Monica's voice pierced his thoughts… "Can you put those dishes in the sink please?"
"Oh, yeah, sure…" He shook his head to clear his mind, then grabbed the dishes off the coffee table… balancing them precariously as he headed for the kitchen…
"Don't drop them."
"I won't." he scoffed, but as he got to the sink, they shifted and he lost control of them. He lunged for the sink, trying to save at least most of them from hitting the floor, but a few crashed to the ground and broke… despite his efforts…
"Oh, God! Are you ok?" Monica asked as she rushed to assess the mess…
He knelt down immediately and started picking up pieces of glass and stoneware… "I think so. God, I'm so sorry I broke your stuff!"
She joined him at the crash site and started to help in picking up the pieces… "It's ok. It was an accident."
Their hands brushed as they both reached for the same piece of debris, and they both froze at the contact…
"Hey…" Rachel exclaimed as she ripped open her bedroom door… "Try to keep it down, huh? People are trying to sleep!" She sleepily stumbled back into her room, closing the door soundly…
Monica and Chandler looked at each other for a moment, then started laughing…
"She doesn't handle being woke up very well, does she?" He asked with a chuckle…
Monica shook her head… "No." she chortled… "You should see her in the morning!"
"Hmmm…" he smiled… "Good to know."
Their smiles faded as they went back to cleaning up the mess…
"Where's your mop?" Chandler asked after all the chunks and shards were tossed in the garbage… "I'll mop the mess…"
"You don't have to…"
"Maybe not…" he agreed… "I want to."
The tension was thick… they both could feel it. Both could feel it strangling them…
She grabbed the mop and handed it to him, then grabbed a bucket and started to fill it with cleaner and warm water…
"I'm sorry things are so weird between us…" Monica stated softly as she set the bucket down on the floor near the area to be cleaned…
"Please, Monica, let's not talk about it." He plunged the mop into the water and wrung it out…
"I think maybe we need to." She winced as she watched his haphazard mopping technique…
"You said we wouldn't have to…" he reminded… "On Thanksgiving…"
"I know I did, but, I think maybe we need to now."
"I don't want to." Chandler countered…
"Why?"
He sighed… "Don't."
"Don't what?" she asked, confused…
"Don't make me do this. Don't make me talk about it. You promised…"
"Chandler, I'm not trying to be mean. I just-- I think we should air some things out--"
"Stop!" he snapped, throwing the mop to the floor… "Does a promise mean nothing to you?!"
She'd never seen him so upset. Well, she had, but never directed at her… "Chandler…?"
"No! You said we didn't have to ever talk about it again! Damn-it Monica! You've ruined everything!"
He stormed out, leaving a confused and distraught Monica behind, staring at the door…
TO BE CONTINUED…