The One Where Chandler Does Some Thinking
Chapter Five
Continued from: 'TOW The Baby Blues'
*****~*****
--They couldn't believe it. They had just been arguing with him not hours before… now, he was being wheeled out on a gurney. Covered with a sheet… dead.
"How'd this happen?" Rachel asked Treeger, the superintendent of the building…
"He musta been sweeping." Treeger replied… "They found a broom in his hand."
The gang all shared looks, knowing the broom had been used to bang on his ceiling, their floor."
"Poor Mr. Heckles…" Monica whispered sadly after Treeger turned to leave, following the paramedics out… "We killed him."
"We are not to blame, Monica… ok?" Ross assured her… "No one made him pick up the broom and knock it into the ceiling repeatedly. It's sad, but it's no one's fault. It's just, the circle of life…"
"Ok, if he starts singing that song again, I'm outta here." Chandler informed as they all started walking back to Monica's apartment…
"The song has a point though…" Ross added, and Chandler sprinted up ahead…
"Bye. See'ya later."
*****
--"He hated us!" Monica exclaimed as she and the other five of the group stood in the middle of Mr. Heckles livingroom… "Why else would he leave all this crap to us in his will!"
"He didn't even know our names!" Rachel added, equally as disgusted with the chore ahead of them…
"Sure he did…" Chandler interjected… "You were 'noisy girl #1'…" he gestured to Monica… "And you were 'noisy girl #2'." he said to Rachel, his usual smirk on his face…
"Yeah, well, I say we just bag all this crap up and give it to the homeless or something." Rachel wrinkled her nose as she poked at a stack of newspapers, wincing as they teetered precariously…
"What'd the homeless ever do to you?" Chandler asked jokingly, only to get glared at… "Shutting up now." He ducked away from Rachel's glare by heading into Heckles bedroom…
--Monica was only half aware of the argument between Phoebe and Ross about evolution… 'fact or myth'… she was too busy with the enormous task of cleaning out the overwhelming amount of crap. She'd already filled 2 trash bags and was ready to start her third, looking around for the box of large 'Glad' bags…
"Where's the box of trash bags?" she asked no one in particular. Upon getting no answer, she wandered into the bedroom to see if they'd been moved in there. What she found instead was Chandler, sitting on the edge of Mr. Heckles bed, looking through a shoebox of pictures and stuff…
"Hey." Monica gained his attention, and he looked to her abruptly before looking back at his find…
"C'mere a sec, Mon…" he asked of her, and she joined him on the bed… "I found this…" He put down the small box and picked up a large leather-bound book…
"His yearbook?"
"Yeah. Look…" he opened it to a page where one of his school chums had signed the book… "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school." Chandler read the inscription out loud, then flipped to another page… "He was voted class clown, and so was I. He played clarinet in band and so did I."
She was trying to understand what he was getting at… "Ok…"
He sighed, exasperated, then grabbed the shoebox again… "Then I found this." He started rummaging through the box, then pulled out a picture… "He wrote stuff on the back of every one of these…" he told her… "These are all the women he went out with. 'Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud! Too smart! Makes noises while she eats!' This is me, Mon! This is what I do! I reject any woman who is crazy enough to go out with me, bitch about not being ready for commitment, then drive them away!" He tossed the box to the bed, some of the pictures flying out… some hitting the floor… "I'm gonna die alone!"
"No, you won't. Remember? When we're 40?" Monica reminded him… "If neither of us are married or dating seriously…"
"You will be! You'll get married long before you're 40! And I'll be alone! Bitter and alone! I'll be like one of those old guys who keeps yelling at the neighborhood kids to 'get off my lawn!'…"
"Chandler…" Monica wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him in for a hug… "You are not Heckles, ok?"
He shrugged out of her embrace… "I think I need to be alone…"
She watched him as he walked out of the room, then turned to locate what she had gone in there for in the first place… the trash bags.
*****
--Chandler had made himself scarce all day, but just after dinner time, he showed up again…
"Hey! I was wondering where you'd gone…" Monica greeted him… "Hungry? I saved you a plate…"
He shook his head… "No thanks. Where is everyone?"
"Rachel is at Ross', and Phoebe and Joey went to the movies."
He nodded, then headed for the couch… "Can we… talk?"
She dropped the dishrag she had been using to dry the dishes on the counter before joining him on the couch… "What's up?"
He paused before finally breaking the minute-long silence… "This Heckles thing really has me bothered."
She rubbed his arm in support… "I'm sorry. You know though, you shouldn't compare yourself to him…"
He shrugged… "I don't want to end up alone, Mon. I didn't used to think that far ahead, but, I'm thinking now."
"Ok…"
"I'm not saying I want to get married tomorrow… but… someday…"
"That's good. That you've given your future some thought."
"I guess…"
"Chandler, it's normal to question your own mortality when someone you know dies."
"Yeah…" he shrugged… "But it's not just my mortality. I question, what am I doing with my life? How does my presence affect others? Ya'know what I mean?"
"Yeah. I do."
She sensed what he needed, and she placed her finger under his chin and lifted his face, staring into his eyes. There was a look that passed between them, and she smiled as she leaned in and kissed his lips softly.
Instantly, he gathered her into his arms, the kiss turning passionate as they both expressed their needs without words.
She whipped her shirt off, and his hands moved to touch her bare skin as she climbed into his lap… but then suddenly, he stopped cold…
"I can't do this to you." He gently pushed her off his lap…
She allowed him to move her, climbing off and sitting next to him… "Chandler, you've been there for me… twice now. I want to do this."
"I don't know if I can walk away this time." He whispered, his voice strained with emotion…
"You don't have to. But you can if you need to. This will just be about tonight." She kissed his cheek, then moved to his ear… "I know you're hurting…" she whispered… "Let me soothe it."
He groaned as he struggled to remove his clothes… and she followed suit, removing the remainder of her clothing. They never made it to the bedroom. They made love on the couch… nearly in front of the large bay windows that looked out onto the building across the way. Luckily, no one saw anything.
*****
--"I can't date you…" he told her as he feverishly kissed her lips, moving along her jawline to her neck… "I want more than anything to get over this fear…" he suckled on her neck before continuing… "But it's still there…"
She moaned from the sensations he was creating… "I know, sweetie… I know."
The sun peeking into the room meant it would be dangerous for him to stay much longer. There would be too many unanswerable questions if they were to get caught together...
"I wish it didn't have to be like this…" he murmured, still kissing her as his hands wandered her naked body…
"You have baggage." she replied… "We all do… yours is holding you back now from having a serious relationship." She lightly bit his neck in response to the hickey he was giving her… "Eventually, you'll get over that fear, and any woman would be lucky to have you then."
"One more time…" he breathed… "I want you one more time. Then I'll go."
She nodded…
And they made love for the third time in less than 8 hours.
*****~*****
--Several weeks had passed, all having returned to normal quickly. Quicker than ever before. By the following day actually.
--With his new interest in getting over his commitment fears, when a co-worker invited Chandler to a singles party, he jumped at the chance to go.
He struck out… big time. No one even talked to him…
"What is it about me?" he asked his friends… "Is there something repellant about me?"
They all answered with a resounding 'no'.
"No, Chandler, you are very attractive…" Phoebe assured him… "I go through the same thing whenever I pick up a few pounds, and I--"
"Whoa!" he interrupted her… "I've picked up weight?"
Phoebe froze… she hadn't meant to insult him… "No, no… not weight. More like… insulation!"
Chandler grimaced and dropped the handful of popcorn he had picked up to nibble on back into the bowl…
"Chandler, I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project…" Monica offered… "Let me remake you."
He smiled at her choice of words, no one 'getting' the inside joke except the two of them… "I don't know. I think it might cut into my very busy schedule of lying around and watching TV."
"Oh, c'mon!" Monica whined…
"Just let her do this, Chandler!" Rachel interjected… "What's the worst that could happen?"
He didn't even want to think about the possible answers to that question.
*****
--She was annoying him to no end… and he had the most overwhelming urge to just tell her to forget it, and then where to shove her exercise program, but he couldn't. Since she'd lost her job, she'd been kind of down… and the sparkle had left her eyes. With this, the sparkle had returned. He loved her eyes, and would endure anything to keep the twinkle in them, so, he drudged on…
--"Five more!" she ordered him as she sat on his feet, watching as he struggled to do even a few sit-ups…
"I can't." he panted for air…
"Yes you can! Five more!"
"No!"
"Five more and I'll flash you."
He shook his head… "Already seen 'em."
She smacked him lightly… "Tell me, what will it take to get five more sit-ups out of you?"
"A shower." He replied weakly…
"You can take a shower after we exercise." she replied, not understanding his request…
"A shower… with you."
She just looked at him for a moment, her expression a slight scowl… "What?"
He moved his arms and propped himself up on his elbows to see her better… "Do you have any idea how incredibly hot you are when you're exercising?"
She smiled… "Yeah?"
He smiled… "Incredibly hot…" he repeated… "So, what do you say?"
"You know, we're kinda making a habit out of this…"
"Is that a 'yes'."
"Can I ask… what changed?"
He dropped back to the floor and shrugged… "I don't know. I know I still can't make a relationship work, but, the occasional romp with you has been…"
"Incredible?" she finished his sentence, and he nodded…
"You think I'm a pervert now, don'tcha?"
"No. Of course not. We both have needs… there's no one in our lives currently to fulfill those needs…"
"And we're… compatible. I think."
"Oh yeah…" she agreed… "Very."
"I don't want to hurt you, and I sure don't want to be getting hurt… but as long as we both agree to the terms…"
"No strings. Just sex." She stated the terms…
"Right. Then, what's the harm?"
"Five more, and I'll shower with you." She grinned, tapping his knees…
He smiled in return, then gathered his strength to pull out five more sit-ups.
--Chandler locked and bolted the door, just in case Joey showed up unexpected, then turned to Monica…
"Shall we?" he gestured towards the bathroom, and she smiled as she removed her shirt…
He adjusted the temperature first, then stripped naked, his body already responding to her naked sweaty form.
Wordlessly, they both entered the shower, and Chandler immediately grabbed for the bar of soap. He watched in awe as she tilted her head back, allowing the warm water to cascade down her tired body.
He soaped up his hands, then ran them all over her, enjoying her little sighs of pleasure. When he was done, she returned the favor, soaping his body everywhere, smiling as he tried to keep balance when his eyes drifted shut.
They kissed, and fondled, but they didn't have sex. After the shower, they dried off… Chandler got dressed, then gave Monica his robe to wear so she could walk across the hall to get new clothes without having to put on the sweaty ones from their workout…
And that was that. That was all he'd wanted. He just wanted to feel her naked skin… feel that connection to her that had been forming since that Thanksgiving kiss.
--They smiled at each other discreetly a few times as the gang all gathered for dinner, but other than that, there was no indication that anything out of the ordinary was happening between the two friends.
*****~*****
--Chandler was comfortable. He never wanted to leave his new chair, ever… except to go to the bathroom.
Joey finally had a few bucks to spend, having finally landed a decent role in Days Of Our Lives… so to celebrate, he bought brand new twin recliners and a new large-screen TV.
The two roommates were in heaven. Nothing was gonna get them out of their chairs. A fire? Firemen would drag them out. Flood? They were high enough up… they'd probably barely get wet. Nope… nothing was gonna get them out of those chairs… except…
--"Chandler? Can I talk to you for a sec?" Monica asked, her tone sounding serious…
Chandler didn't even pause to think. He was out of the chair in a flash, following her out into the hall…
Monica looked up and down the hall to be sure no one was there before she began…
"I'm going out on a date tonight…" she told him…
"Ok."
She sighed… "I think this might… really go somewhere…" she elaborated, waiting for a response…
His facial expression changed… "Oh."
"I know we said we weren't… you know. But, I felt like I owed it to you to tell you about it."
He nodded… "Ok. Thanks."
"Are you ok with this?"
"I told you I couldn't date you… you have every right to go out there and find happiness." He managed a smile, and was able to hide the pain inside through the smile she believed to be genuine…
"Thanks Chandler." She hugged him… "Have fun with your new stuff!"
He nodded, then watched as she disappeared into her apartment.
The smile dropped from his face, and he forced himself not to run into her apartment after her and beg her not to go on the date…
"You can't do that…" he told himself… "You won't commit, so, she's not yours to keep."
He stared at the floor for a few moments, then kicked at the wall before walking back into his apartment.
TO BE CONTINUED…