The One Where Ross & Rachel Fight
Chapter Six
Continued from: 'TOW Chandler Does Some Thinking'
By: Jana~
*****~*****
--He didn't want to like Richard, but the more he saw of him and spent time with him, the more he saw of him and Monica together… and how happy he made her… the more he realized what a good guy he was. He wondered at one point… if somehow, on some level… he wondered if Richard knew about his feelings for Monica. If he did, he never said anything.
--Chandler honestly thought he'd lost her to Richard… although marriage was not yet discussed, to his knowledge, he knew it was a definite possibility. He wanted to be happy for her, but in a small spot, hiding way in the back of his heart, he ached. He knew he couldn't be with Monica, but he wasn't ready to give her up. Still, he had no choice. She asked him in the beginning, before her first official date with Richard if he was ok with the idea. He'd said he was. Why did he say that?
*Cause you're a chicken-shit, that's why!*
--With the knowledge that he'd lost her forever… because Richard was in her life… Chandler decided to focus on his own love life. A life that sadly, didn't include Monica.
--He'd met her on the internet, of all places… if they had crossed paths in person, there would've been no way he would've even given her the time of day. They were the most disastrous couple in all of history. But, they'd talked on the internet, and without knowing who she was, he agreed to meet her.
--Janice. Just the name was like nails on a chalk board, and then came the voice…
"Oh My Gawd!"
--But, something was different this time. Maybe it was because he'd grown some… emotionally. Maybe it was because he knew he'd lost Monica to 'hunky mustache man'. Whatever the reason, he gave their relationship another chance. How was he to know that at virtually the same time, in another part of town, Monica and Richard were breaking up?
--She wanted kids… he'd already done the 'kids' thing and had moved on to grandkids. There was no compromise in Monica's mind. It was what she had always wanted. Richard would've done it… the whole 'kids' thing again… but it would have been a sacrifice on his part. Monica didn't want kids like that… under duress. The relationship ended with quiet tears as they danced at the wedding reception of Rachel's ex-fiancé.
*****
--When Chandler learned of the break-up, he held Monica as tight as he could, and still struggled to hold her tighter as she sobbed. He wanted to fix her pain so bad he ached, but he didn't know what to do other than hold her… so that's what he did. For, what seemed like, ever.
--There was a silent vibe between them he instantly recognized… she wanted him physically, intimately, but he couldn't. He was dating Janice again, and he refused to cheat on her. Monica seemed to sense this, and never asked for anything but friendship, which he gave her willingly… generously…
*****~*****
--Joey confided in Monica… he'd just seen Janice kissing her estranged husband...
"What are we gonna do?"
"You have to tell Chandler!" Monica demanded of him, her heart racing at the hurt it would cause him… "He has the right to know!"
"You tell him!" Joey exclaimed nervously, not wanting to be the bearer of bad news…
"I can't! I didn't see it! And besides, you're his best friend!"
"So are you!"
"But I didn't see it!"
Joey sighed, a scowl on his face. He knew she was right… "Fine!"
--Monica waited for Chandler to come over, seeking comfort in her arms, like he always did… she didn't have to wait long. Within hours of Joey's admission to Monica, Chandler was at her door, his eyes puffy from crying…
She opened her door and her arms to him, and he took comfort in her embrace…
"I thought it might actually work this time." He uttered sadly… "She said she still loves me, but has to give her marriage a try…" He allowed her to guide him to the couch where he sat heavily… "I made a fool of myself. I begged her to stay. I don't even know why I did…"
"You weren't ready to see it end."
"I guess. I was dating her for the wrong reasons…"
"What were the reasons?"
"I was sad… depressed… that I'd lost you to Richard."
She paused, rubbing his back… "You'll never lose me. Not really…"
"I'm a prick." He criticized himself…
"Why exactly?"
"I won't commit to you, but I don't want you with anyone else."
"You want to have your cake and eat it too."
Chandler pulled back and wiped his tears… "That's a stupid saying."
"Sorry…" She chuckled softly as she rubbed his arm…
"Not your fault. You didn't make it up."
"Right."
He looked at her for a moment, then reached out and touched her cheek… "Can we have sex?"
She smiled… "That didn't take you long…"
"To ask or to get over Janice?"
"Both."
"I know it's not the best of ideas." He scoffed grimly… "I know it's a stupid idea… but, can we anyway?"
Leaning in slightly, she kissed his lips soft and quick… "I expected you to ask…" she whispered to him… "I even shaved my legs." She added humorously…
He chuckled, then snaked his arm around her as he pulled her to him, kissing her passionately… they made love for hours, drowning in each other to stop from drowning in sadness.
--Monica thought Chandler might be ready for a commitment, but he said he wasn't. They talked for a long time about it, but it all came back to one thing… he was scared to death of screwing up and losing her forever. She respected his decision, and they promised, as before, to leave it behind them and remain friends and friends only.
*****~*****
--Chandler and Joey rushed into Monica's room at the sound of screaming, armed with pots and pans, ready to attack the person or persons responsible for causing the pained yelling…
--Upon entering the room they realized there was no armed attacker, but just Monica and Phoebe, waxing their legs, screaming from the pain ripping the wax-covered linen cloths off caused.
"Scared the hell out of me, Mon! Shit!"
"Sorry."
"Sorry." Phoebe repeated… "But it's really painful!" To demonstrate, she put the wax on Joey's arm, then placed a linen cloth over top…
"Real mature!" Joey grumbled, then grabbed the cloth and yanked it off. He winced at the pain…
They all chuckled for a moment, but stopped abrupt when they heard voices raised in anger. Without a real reason as to why, Chandler moved quickly and quietly and shut the door to the bedroom, separating them from the arguing couple.
--Rachel had suggested a break… that her and Ross 'take a break'. It's not what she meant, but it was what she had said. Ross stormed out, not out of anger so much, but out of pain. He was jealous, he admitted that, but it hurt that she pushed him away.
--To get over the hurt, he went to the local bar to get drunk. While there, after several drinks, after well into being impaired, the attractive seductress from the nearby copy place showed up. She seduced him… kissed him… made promises of making him feel better that his impaired way of thinking agreed to without considering the consequences.
--He didn't want Rachel to find out… especially from Gunther… but that was exactly what had happened.
Waiting till they got to the apartment was near impossible, too many feelings to express making their way to the surface and out into the air before they even hit the door.
--"What happened? Why are they fighting?" Phoebe asked, looking to anyone for the answer…
"Rachel kinda broke up with Ross, so he slept with Chloe." Chandler informed…
"From the copy place?" Phoebe asked, shocked and outraged…
Joey nodded…
"And you knew?!" Monica asked as she smacked them both upside their heads...
"He has an affair and we get hit in our heads!" Chandler complained, moving to listen in at the door… they all followed suit.
--"You wanna talk about?" Rachel challenged Ross… "Ok, let's talk about it! Was she good?"
Ross stammered for a reply…
"Well?!"
"She was… different."
Rachel glared… "Different good?"
He knew he shouldn't have answered that question… "No one likes change."
Furious, she picked up a nearby magazine, rolled it up, and started hitting him with it…
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Rache, I'm so, so sorry!" he winced and ducked a few times, but he took her punishment. When she slowed her attack, he looked up at her, submissively avoiding eye contact… "I'm disgusted with myself… please understand, she meant nothing to me."
"Nothing? Yet she was worth risking everything over!"
"I wasn't thinking! I was… impaired! It didn't even dawn on me that there was a relationship on the line! I thought we had broken up!"
"I didn't 'break up' with you! I suggested we 'take a break'!"
"For all I knew that could've meant forever!"
Rachel scoffed angrily… "You think you're gonna get out of this on a technicality?!"
"I'm not trying to 'get out' of anything! I'm trying to explain my side."
--They argued for hours, and Monica leaned on Chandler for support as she cried, hurting from the pain both her brother and her best friend were immersed in.
"They're gonna get through this," Phoebe asked… "Aren't they?"
Chandler squeezed Monica a little tighter… "Of course they will. I mean, it's Ross and Rachel."
"What if they don't?" Monica asked in a whisper…
Chandler kissed her hair…
--Ross stared at Rachel, desperately wanting to wipe her tears away and gather her into his arms…
"Talk to me Rachel…" he requested softly…
She didn't reply. She didn't even look at him. Desperate, he moved to the coffee table in front of her…
"Rachel, please, don't shut me out. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I was out of my mind! I was drunk and stupid and out of my mind. I love you so much… how insane must I have been to risk 'us' like that? I'm no adulterer! You know that!"
"Do I?"
"We're in a tough spot Rache, ok? But, we can get through this! I want us to work through this!"
He started to cry, which got Rachel crying harder…
"I did a terrible stupid thing! I admit that! I take responsibility for it! I will apologize for the rest of my life if you want me too. Whatever you want. I'll do… whatever you want. Just-- Just tell me what you want me to do."
"I want you to leave." She demanded softly, standing and pointing at the door…
Ross stood and stared for a moment, then began to cry harder… "No! No! I'm not gonna let you bail on 'us'!" He dropped to his knees and grabbed her around her waist… "I can't imagine my life without you. Please don't make me live my life without you. I can't live without-- Without-- Please…"
Rachel wiped at her tears in vain… "No. I can't, you are totally different to me now." She pushed him away and he let go of her, remaining on his knees… "I used to think you as someone who would never ever hurt me, but you have. You have. And now, I can't stop picturing you with her."
He moved his hands to cover his face, sobbing… "I never meant to hurt you. Please… please give me another chance," he begged… "You are my everything, Rache. Everything…" His last word was barely audible…
Rachel dropped to her knees and Ross immediately gathered her into his arms…
"Counseling…" she whispered through her tears…
He gasped and kissed her hair feverishly… "Yes. Anything. Anything. God, Rachel, I love you so much. I will never hurt you again… ever! That is a solemn promise!"
She nodded, allowing his affections to ease her pain… "Ok…"
"Do you want me to go home?"
"I don't know."
"I'll just hold you. Or whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want."
She sighed… "Come to bed and-- and just hold me."
He got off his knees and stood, then helped her to her feet… "Anything…"
--Monica was crying steadily, as was Phoebe. Joey seemed misty, but held it together, not wanting to appear wimpy. Chandler felt a lump in his throat, his eyes burning from tears that didn't fall, and during all of it… during the entire argument… all he could think about was Monica. Her pain. What she must've been thinking as they all listened in on the saddest fight any of them had ever heard.
He held her as close as he could, being careful not to raise suspicions with Phoebe and Joey as he did.
"They're gonna get through this, Mon." Chandler whispered in her ear… "Ok?"
She nodded.
"We'll wait till they're settled in, then we'll leave." Joey suggested and the rest nodded.
After about 20 minutes, they tiptoed out…
Chandler turned once at the door and gave Monica a look she understood and accepted… he loved her. She smiled… she loved him too…
TO BE CONTINUED…