The One With Pete, Joey's Hole, & Kathy
Chapter Seven
Continued from: 'TOW Ross & Rachel Fight'
By: Jana~
*****~*****
--Chandler liked Pete, and not just cause he was closer to Monica's age than Richard was, but because he was rich. Beyond rich. Stinkin filthy rich. Like, 'shake hands with the President of The United States like it was no big deal' kind of rich. And he was nice. And he truly liked Monica. There was financial security there, to say the least, and Chandler knew that he would be good to her and take care of her.
That is the kind of man Monica deserved, Chandler thought to himself… not someone like me…
--They were all atwitter… all the friends, because it really looked like Pete might propose.
Chandler knew this day might come… it was inevitable. Monica was an incredible catch… but he wasn't as prepared for it as he thought he was. He'd always told himself that he wanted her to be happy. That that was his top concern. Now, with her happiness just a 'Yes, Pete, I will marry you' away, he found he was having major doubts… anxiety making sleep difficult and being awake even harder.
--At first, Monica said she would've said 'no', which had Chandler temporarily relieved, but after some thought, she warmed up to the idea.
--Chandler struggled with his emotions… actually the emotions conflicted with one another, and he fought the urge to get drunk and drown his feelings of sadness in many shots of vodka.
He put on his happy face, hiding his pain… but Monica could tell. She always could.
--Rachel decided to call it a night and head for bed, and everyone else muttered about how it was late and they should be getting home to bed as well… but as everyone prepared to leave, Monica asked Chandler to stay behind.
--They sat on the couch in awkward silence for several minutes before Monica finally spoke up…
"What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking I'm happy for you." He stated softly…
"Thanks." she smiled, "Anything else on your mind?"
He shrugged.
She sighed… "Are you ok with this? Pete asking me to marry him…"
He shrugged again… "I'm happy for you."
"You said that already. Care to elaborate?"
"I don't know. I like Pete…" he trailed off…
"But, me marrying him means… no chance of 'us'."
"Was there ever really a chance at 'us'?" he asked somewhat bitterly…
"There might have been. If you didn't have so many issues…" there was a touch of irritation to her voice that didn't go unnoticed…
"Right." He just agreed with her, he didn't want to fight with her…
"The ball's in your court, Chandler. You say the word, and I will turn down Pete's proposal."
"I can't ask you to do that."
"Yes, you can."
"I can't ask you to give up your chance at happiness… at a family, and what you've always dreamed of, just for 'maybe'. I can't ask you to 'wait for me'. And I'm not ready to do this. I just think about commitment and I break out into a cold sweat."
"But we can work through that."
"No." He shook his head… "Every woman I have ever dated has ended up hating me… cause I get into a relationship, and I change. I change into a man no woman can love."
"It's a defense mechanism," she countered…
"You sound like a shrink."
"You sound like a baby."
"I know."
"This thing between us has been going on for a long time. And God knows I've tried to be patient and understanding, but, it's like, you won't even try!"
"And that's just a taste of 'relationship Chandler'…" he sighed… "You won't like him. You like 'friendship Chandler', so, let's just stay there. In the friendship zone."
She sighed… "If that's what you really want."
"I think it's better this way."
Shaking her head, she stood and wrapped her arms around herself… "Alright then. So, everything's great. And you're ok with me and Pete."
He nodded… "Yep."
His reply was forced, she could tell, but she couldn't force him to admit something he wasn't ready to admit. He obviously had reasons for hiding his feelings, so she dropped it.
"K. Guess I'll see'ya tomorrow then."
"Yeah." He nodded as he stood, then dared himself to look into her eyes… "Congratulations," he whispered, then hugged her quickly before walking out the door as fast as his legs would carry him.
*****
--Chandler was actually relieved when it turned out that the big thing Pete wanted to talk to Monica about, was not about asking her to marry him, but about becoming an 'Ultimate Fighting Champion'.
"What the hell is that?" Rachel asked…
"It's like wrestling…" Monica replied… "I guess."
"Only, the rules are: there are no rules!" Chandler added…
"Sounds brutal." Phoebe interjected…
"Oh, it is. And totally not fake!" Joey informed…
Ross winced and shook his head… "Let's hope he doesn't get himself killed."
--He didn't. He didn't get killed, but he clearly sucked at it. By the second match he was in a full-body cast. That was it for Monica. She couldn't stand to watch him get hurt, and he refused to stop competing. She broke it off with him, much to Chandler's surprise…
--"I just couldn't watch him do that to himself…" Monica confided in Chandler as they sat alone in his apartment, Joey out with some date…
"I don't blame you." Chandler consoled her as she sat in his lap and leaned against him for support…
Funny thing was, she wasn't all that sad. She wasn't thrilled that the relationship ended, but it was almost, in a way, a relief. She wasn't entirely sure if she even loved him. He was more like… safety. He could provide her with everything she'd ever dreamed about… a family, a house in the suburbs… and financial security didn't hurt either. Only problem was… he wasn't Chandler.
She silently cursed her luck… she sat on the lap of the man who held her heart, but could only love him within strict limits. Many a night was spent ridiculing herself for not being able to help him over his fears. He felt something for her… that was obvious, yet, he refused to commit.
He told her often that it wasn't her… that it was him, and she believed him when he said it… but, late at night, when she was alone in her bed, she wondered if there was anything she was doing… or not doing… to push him away.
--"I need you tonight…" she whispered in his ear, and he nodded…
"I know. I need you too." He kissed her hair… "It's Pete's loss…"
"Thanks." She smiled into his eyes… "Kiss me."
He smiled in return, leaning in to claim her lips with his.
*****~*****
--The beach house was a mess. Full of sand and debris from the previous storm… and the current storm.
Phoebe found the address of her dad's and deceased mom's best friend from school… excited to see her and talk to her about her mom and dad, she convinced all her friends to go with her to Montauk… for moral support. A massage client of Phoebe's allowed them the use of his beach house.
--Joey had found the joy of building sandcastles, the huge amount of sand in the house making the craft easy to do from the comfort of the livingroom. Ross and Rachel excused themselves to go 'sleep', although everyone knew they would be doing little sleeping… their relationship back on track again. Phoebe went off in search of the woman who held stories about her parents… so that left Chandler and Monica on their own.
--They sat on the porch swing outside, watching the rain and lightening from the safety of the dry awning-covered porch.
"I like storms," Monica muttered as she snuggled up to Chandler…
"Me too." He pulled her a little closer…
"It's frightening and safe, all at the same time."
"Yeah…" he chuckled almost imperceptibly… "Kinda like us."
"Yeah…"
There was a long comfortable silence as they watched the sky light up as thunder and lightning crashed through, disrupting the darkness.
"I think about what it would be like to date you properly…" Monica admitted out of the blue… she could feel Chandler tense…
"You know where I'm at on that, Mon." he said after a moment's pause…
"I know…" she whispered…
"We've so broken the rules of friendship, and now things are in a strange place with us."
"What do you mean?"
Lightning crashed through the sky, closer than the previous bolts… Monica startled as Chandler continued on, holding her tighter when he felt her jump…
"We're not 'just friends', but we're not dating either. How much longer can we carry on this way?"
"I don't know. I know I wouldn't trade our time together for the world. If I can't have you, at least I can kinda have you… know what I mean?"
"Yeah, but, you're hurting. And I'm the cause. And I don't want to be the cause of your pain."
She tensed… "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying… I think we should stop with the intimate stuff." There. He'd said it. No turning back now… "I think we should just focus on being friends. Like Joey and Phoebe are friends… like me and Rachel are friends. Platonic."
She pulled back and looked at him, shocked and hurt… "Did I piss you off or something?"
"No! Not at all! I think-- I knew this would be disastrous, and I was right. You want more, you deserve more, and I can't give it to you. We're just making it worse… and harder to be 'platonic' every time we're together. I think we should stop now."
"I've been really understanding… I think! I have laid with you without ever expecting more and I have never pressured you!"
He winced… she was angry… "I know…"
"And now you're just-- you're gonna--" She was so upset she couldn't even make a coherent sentence. She stood and made a gesture of dismissal, then walked away and back into the house…
Chandler put his face in his hands and sighed… "Well, that went well."
*****
--Chandler tried to make small talk with her as they sunned themselves on the beach, but Monica gave him the cold shoulder, barely acknowledging him.
Joey was nearby, digging a large hole for God-knows-what reason, so Chandler didn't push to have a conversation with her about what was really bothering her.
"Check this out!" Joey exclaimed… "Dug me a hole!"
Chandler and Monica stood and approached…
"Excellent hole, Joe." Chandler humored him…
Just then Monica screamed in pain and favored her left leg…
She had been stung by a jellyfish… a very painful thing to be certain.
"You want to go back to the house?" Joey asked as Chandler helped her to balance as she hopped on one foot…
"It's too far!" she screamed…
"Maybe we could carry you?" Chandler suggested…
Joey snapped his fingers… "Oh! I know! You need to pee on it."
"What?!" Chandler asked in shock…
"Ewww! Gross!" Monica snapped…
"No, I'm serious!" Joey told them… "I saw it on one of those boring nature documentaries!"
"Oh yeah!" Chandler suddenly remembered… "There's something like ammonia in that, that deadens the pain or something."
"You can use my hole if you want some privacy." Joey offered.
--Monica tried, only because the pain was so intense that she felt like she was going to pass out, to pee on her ankle… but she couldn't bend in that way…
"Joe, I need you to help her out…" Chandler pleaded… "We kinda had a fight. She's not gonna want me to pee on her…"
"I don't know, man. It's… weird."
"She's in pain. Please, Joey. As a friend."
Reluctantly, Joey agreed. He tried, but he just couldn't do it. It was too weird and he got 'stage fright', so it was back to Chandler…
--He jumped in the hole with Monica, glaring at Joey when he just stood there as if he were going to watch. Joey took the hint and turned around.
"I'm sorry about this…" he whispered, she nodded. "I know you're mad at me…"
"Damn right I am!" she huffed… "If you're gonna do it, get on with it."
He inwardly winced at the bitterness in her tone. The last thing he wanted was to cause her pain, and now she was in pain… emotionally as well as physically… although the physical wasn't his fault. At least he could take that pain away.
He felt his face flush at the awkwardness of what he was about to do…
"Where exactly is the sting?"
She lifted her leg and pointed at the spot on her ankle, then extended it, giving him an easier angle at it.
He sighed, then looked around before pulling his shorts down just enough…
He couldn't do it at first. Like Joey, he had gotten stage fright…
"Are you gonna do this or what?" she asked, avoiding eye contact…
"Stage fright," he muttered quietly… "Give me a minute."
She nodded, then stole a glance at his expression. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be really concentrating. She would have smiled, only she was in extreme pain and was still mad at him.
He sighed in relief, finally able to go, and Monica yipped then sighed, as it at first burned a little, then started to feel better.
When done, he pulled his shorts back up and moved to leave the hole…
"Chandler?"
He stopped…
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
Chandler climbed out, then he and Joey helped Monica out and carried her back to the beach house.
--The situation was weird, to say the least, but he came through for her. He could've said 'no', especially after their fight, but he didn't. He helped her out under the oddest of circumstances… he'd peed on her, in public, to help her out of an intense pain like she'd never felt before. She was still upset with him, but his sacrifice to help her when she needed him didn't go unacknowledged.
*****
--Monica sighed as she saw him sitting alone at the rest stop, everyone else off peeing or raiding the vending machines…
She sat beside him… "Hey."
He glanced her way, then back at the ground… "Hey."
"Thank you for what you did this weekend."
"You're welcome, but if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not talk about it. Ever."
She smiled just slightly… "I understand."
"I'm sorry I made you angry."
"I know you are. It's me. I said that I agreed to the terms: no strings attached sex… it became more to me. I can't force you to feel the same."
They turned at the sound of cursing and banging… Joey was at the sandwich machine, cursing at it and kicking it…
"I gave you my money! Give me my damn sandwich!"
"Joey! You're gonna break it!" Phoebe warned him, trying to pull him away from it as he struggled to continue his assault on the mechanical thief…
Chandler and Monica looked at each other with brief smiles, then turned their attentions back to their conversation…
"As I was trying to say… it's because you're having these feelings that I think it's best if we just cut cold turkey. It's like, when you quit smoking… if you tell yourself 'just this one more', you'll be saying it forever and you'll never quit, know what I mean?"
She nodded, her head hung low… "I'm not ready to give you up." She felt tears stinging her eyes, but she refused to let them fall…
"I'm sorry. I will always be here for you. Always. But, we can't be intimate with each other any more."
She nodded, a single tear she couldn't control trickling down her cheek… "Alright."
"Guys! C'mon!" Joey yelled from Phoebe Grandmother's cab, holding his sandwich up in the air triumphantly… "Let's go already!"
*****~*****
--Monica was jealous. She didn't want to be… she tried to force herself not to be… but she was.
Her name was Kathy, and she was originally Joey's girlfriend, although he wasn't really all that serious about her. That's why it was so easy for him to step aside and let Chandler have her. Joey tried to let her down gently, but it didn't really prove necessary… she liked Chandler more than she liked Joey.
--Chandler started dating Kathy. Maybe because she subtly threw herself at him. Maybe because he was trying to prove he could be in a relationship. Whatever the reason, Monica thought, he was willing to attempt a relationship with this virtual stranger and not her… and that hurt.
--Chandler liked Kathy, although he wasn't sure as to why. But, there was definitely something there. They just seemed to click, and he hadn't felt that since Monica.
--He was the one who'd said that they could no longer be together, strings or no strings, and they had abided by that. Still, he missed her. It was his suggestion that they quit cold turkey, but he still missed her… horribly.
Maybe that was why he liked Kathy. Not because she was Kathy, but because he was hurting and lonely and she filled a void. In some respects, he felt like he was cheating on Kathy with Monica, for his thoughts seemed to always wander back to her. Then, in other respects, he felt like he was cheating on Monica with Kathy.
He'd told Monica that he was unable to commit, yet, there he was, in a relationship with some other woman. He wondered if his relationship with Kathy was painful for Monica, like hers with Richard and Pete was for him, but thought it best not to bring it up.
--They dated for a while, and it started getting pretty serious, till Chandler pulled a 'Chandler'. His weird commitment issues surfaced and he accused her of adultery. Angry, Kathy told him not to bother calling or coming over till he 'grew up'.
He didn't want to leave it like that with her… her angry with him, so he went to her apartment to apologize for upsetting her. Nothing would have prepared him for what he saw. There was Kathy, in the arms of another man.
Had he been right? Had she been having an affair? Or did his accusations drive her into the arms of another man? It didn't matter. Either way, it was over with Kathy.
--Silently, Monica cursed Kathy. Cursed her for getting to have Chandler. Cursed her for pushing him away after his accusations when all he was, was scared. Cursed her for cheating on him and hurting him. But inside… inside, she was relieved. She wanted him to be happy, she truly did, but she wanted to be the person making him happy. Now with Kathy out of the picture… maybe… just maybe…
--Monica held him as he cried, wanting to ease his pain more than anything…
"I told you I'm bad at this!" Chandler exclaimed as he accepted Monica's arms around him… "This is what happens! This is what would happen with us if we tried to become an 'us'!"
"Ssshhh…" she soothed, stroking his hair… "There will be other 'Kathys'. You'll fall in love with her and she with you and she will understand your issues and fears." She spoke in generalities, but the hidden meaning there was quite simple… she hoped that his 'Kathy' would be her.
TO BE CONTINUED…