"Love And Disloyalty"

CHAPTER SIX

I awoke to the sunlight flooding into my room and warming my face. My blankets were pulled up snugly over my body. There was only one person who would've done that for me. I hugged the blanket to my chest, then flipped them off and hopped out of bed. Laying on my dresser was a note written on bright yellow paper.

Rinoa,

Meet me at the Ballroom at 8 tonight.

Love,

You-Know-Who J

It was obviously from Zell. I wonder what he wants…I thought as I pocketed the note. I walked to my radio and put my favorite CD on. "Eyes On Me" started to play softly. When I would have cried over every note, but now I smiled when I heard it. Slowly, I pretended I was dancing with a guy and I waltzed around the room. My door swung open and Irvine walked in. I didn't notice him until I waltzed over in his direction. He was looking at me funny. I stopped and turned red.

"Oh…I didn't even realize you walked in."

Irvine laughed. "Sorry…I didn't mean to scare you. I would've said something, but you looked like you were having fun."

"I was." I smiled. "What's up?"

"I wanted to ask if you wanted to go to Balamb today."

"Sure, I'll go!" I nodded excitedly. "I'll see you in a few, OK?"

"Great! Whenever you're ready, all right?"

"OK!" He left, and I sighed. I was looking forward to spending the day in the city. Just when I was about to get ready to go, however, I realized I fell asleep in my clothes from the past night. I debated wearing them again, but I decided not to, changed into clothes that basically looked the same, and ran down to the front gate.

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I was the first one to arrive. "Hello?" I said to no one, knowing no one was there, so I hung around and waited. I saw Zell arrive after a few minutes. "Hey!" I shouted, waving my hands in the air. He smiled and ran towards me. "So, where's everyone?" I asked him.

Zell shrugged. "Dunno. We should go ahead….if they don't show up in a few minutes."

"Really?" I looked to see if anyone was coming. "Alright, I guess so. It's not like they'd get lost on the way there if we're not with them."

We stood around and waited for a half hour, but no one came. Zell was getting impatient. "Ah, let's just go. Is that alright?"

I nodded. "But, isn't a long way to walk?"

"Yeah. That's why I got my T-Board." I couldn't help but hug him, because I always loved T-Boards. Although I never had one, I always rode my friends'. Zell whistled and I saw the T-Board flying towards us. It stopped short and we had to walk to it. "Here ya go," Zell said as he offered his hand to me.

"I'm quite capable, thanks." I said, smiling. In fact, I helped Zell up.

"So…you know what to do?" He asked me. I nodded. "Well, alright. Let's go." The T-Board started up a bit, then stopped. I felt my feet slipping and I almost fell off, but Zell grabbed my waist. "Don't fall." He grinned at me and we were smooth sailing out of Balamb Garden.

On the way, I remembered the note Zell had written me. "Hey…" I yelled over the noise of the T-Board. "Hey, what are you going to show me tonight in the ballroom?"

Zell looked at me while trying to concentrate on the road. "…what are you talking about?"

"Didn't you write that note?"

"What note?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing." I lied. It bothered me that Zell didn't write it. Maybe it was a prank of Selphie's or something, I thought and put it out of my mind. The ride started to get rocky and Zell pulled me a bit closer to him so I wouldn't fall. All of a sudden, the T-Board stopped short and sent Zell and I flying across the road. Zell lost grip of my waist and I screamed. I landed hard on my back in a ditch. Faintly, I heard Zell fall, but I didn't hear his voice.

At first, I couldn't move or speak because I was in shock. Everything, from the tip of my head to my toes, was completely numb. Then, the pain went shooting through my body. I screamed in agony and closed my eyes. When I thought I was going to pass out from the excruciating pain, a pair of strong arms picked me up gingerly. "Zell?" I said softly, eyes still closed. The person didn't answer, but I didn't have the energy to fight him, so I felt my body fall completely limp.

Suddenly, I was laying on the pavement and the mysterious person was walking away. "Hey!" I yelled faintly and opened my eyes, but the person left as mysteriously as he came. I was still in pain, but I forced myself to sit up and looked around. "Zell?" I yelled, fearing the worst. I didn't get an answer. The pain was getting unbearable, and I laid back down, crying. Zell can't be…no…. I thought.

"Lookin for me?" I heard an all too familiar voice. Zell! As much as I wanted to sit up, I couldn't. I could hear his feet against the pavement as he ran to me. "Are you OK?" He asked nervously. "Hyne…"

I tried to shake my head. "No…" Softly and slowly so he wouldn't hurt me, Zell picked me up. I could tell he was trying to stay calm so I wouldn't freak, but he was having a tough time holding it together.

"Don't worry. Balamb is only a little while away." He cradled me close to him and started to run towards his hometown. I felt his nervous heartbeat, and it made me feel a little better to know he was so close. "How are you?" He asked me.

"Right now…" I began, "In a lot of pain." Zell held me a little tighter. "But I'll gonna be alright, thanks to you."

I saw him smile. "Well…now I know…." He began, out of breath from running, "Why…..T-Boards aren't…allowed in Garden…I mean, look at ya…I'm so sorry, Rinoa. I'm so sorry…"

We traveled the rest of the way in silence. Between Zell's running and my pain, we didn't feel like talking. It was OK though, because I knew how Zell felt. He didn't need to say a word.

I knew we were in Balamb when I smelled the salty sea air all ocean towns have. The sea birds also gave it away with their loud squawking. I smiled faintly at the surroundings. Zell stopped running and softly put me down by his house.

"Hold on," He told me. "Gotta catch my….breath." When he took a few deep breaths, he collapsed next to me. "Rinoa…how are you feeling?" He asked me.

I looked warmly at him. "All right. Where are you taking me?"

"Um…" Zell looked around. "Wherever."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw what I didn't expect--Quistis, Selphie, and Irvine! "Look." I said weakly pointing to them. Quistis saw us first and began to run us.

"Oh, sweet Hyne!" She yelled when she saw me, battered and bruised. "Rinoa! Are you guys OK?" I nodded weakly. "Zell…" She began. "We have to take her somewhere."

Zell picked me up. "I can take her inside my house." He looked at me. "Is that all right with you, Rinoa?"

"I don't care. I'm hurting." We were already right outside the door, so Zell ran down the steps and burst in his house.

Mrs. Dincht ran to the door, ready to defend her house, but when she saw a battered Zell carrying an equally battered me, her expression softened. "Oh my! What happened?" She walked up to me and Zell. "Are you two all right? Do you need a doctor, anything?"

"It was my T-Board, Ma." Zell said softly, staring at the floor. She looked at him, disappointed. "It was the quickest way to get here. I'm so sorry. Now 'cause of me, look what happened." I could hear him sigh. "I'm so sorry…"

"Don't worry about it now, Zell. Come on." Mrs. Dincht led the way to Zell's room. He put me down on his bed, and Mrs. Dincht told him to go get some stuff from the store. Reluctant to leave me, he walked out the door. "Poor dear…" Mrs. Dincht said to me once Zell left. "I know his expression."

"Has this ever happened before?" I asked softly.

She nodded and sat next to me. "Yes. He got in trouble once before like this with his T-Board. You wouldn't believe how bad he felt. In fact, he locked himself in his room for two days." Mrs. Dincht sat next to me. "Those things are so dangerous…they're only meant for one person."

"It's all right. I don't blame Zell for anything." I sat up. "It wasn't his fault. I hope he doesn't think that, though…"

"Zell has always been…I guess I could say sensitive to other people, especially the ones he truly loves, although the way he acts covers that up quite well." She sighed. "He should be coming back soon. The store is only down the street."

As if by cue, Zell opened the door with a bag in his hand. He walked over and put it on his desk. "Ma…" he began.

Mrs. Dincht knew what he wanted to do. "I'm already out the door." She said and walked out of the room.

I smiled. "Hi. What's in the bag?"

Zell took a potion out of the bag and handed it to me. "Here you go." His eyes didn't gaze into mine as they usually did. In fact, he couldn't even look me in the face.

"Are you OK?" I asked him. Slowly, I got up and walked over to him.

Zell turned to face me, but he still didn't look at me. "Are you mad at me, Rin?"

He suddenly looked like a little kid to me. My heart broke for him. I shook my head. "No. It wasn't your fault, Zell." I stood up jumped up and down. "See? I'm fine. Don't worry."

"No….it is my fault. I wanted to take the stupid T-Board, and I got you hurt. Me, too…but that doesn't matter." He sat down and put his head in my hands. "And this wasn't even my idea to come to Balamb. It was all Irvine's idea."

"Excuse me?" I sat next to him.

"Irvine an' the others wanted to come to Balamb. You know, just to hang out for a day. And he came up with this brilliant idea that me and you should go ahead without them and they'd meet us there. He thought we should…well, get closer or whatever."

I giggled. Zell looked up at me for the first time. "Why did you even take his advice? It's almost always wrong." I grinned at him.

"So…you're not mad at me?" I shook my head. "Really?" His eyes lit up like two blue lanterns and he kissed my cheek softly. "Thanks." He grabbed my hand. "C'mon. I have somethin I wanna show ya."

"What?" Zell didn't answer me, but he led me down the stairs, out of the house and into the streets. "What is it?" I asked again.

We walked over to where all the boats were docked, floating lazily in the harbor. "Close your eyes." He told me. I did as I was told and Zell took my hand. "Here. Let me pick you up." He lifted me up and into a boat. I was smiling from ear to ear. Zell jumped in after me and took my hand. "I'm going to take you somewhere on the boat, but you have to keep your eyes closed, OK?" I nodded and he led me to the inside of the boat. "Now you can open them. I'll be right back. But don't come out of the room."

I opened my eyes as Zell left. In front of me was a cute little cabin. It was nothing spectacular, but it was really nice, and I smiled at Zell's thoughtfulness. Suddenly, the boat began to move and I fell on the floor, laughing at myself.

Zell didn't come back for a little while, but when he did, I was still on the floor. When he saw me, he smiled and took my hand. "Here's what I wanted to show you. Close your eyes again." Zell led me up on deck and to the front of the ship. "OK…open them."

I did as I was told and opened my eyes. We were out in the ocean at dusk. The moon and an infinite amount of stars hung in the sky and were glowing brightly on the water. The sky was a beautiful bluish black velvety color. Balamb was small in the distance. I gasped at the beautiful view. "Oh, Zell…you certainly went out of your way." I hugged him. "This is…too nice…"

"I'm glad you like it." He looked up at the moon. "I always liked to come out here to think….you know, like when we just finished a mission, or when I was feelin' alone. Now, I have someone to share it with." Zell drew me closer to him. He felt nice, because it was awfully cold. The wind was whipping my hair around my face, and it didn't do much for temperature.

"Zell…this is the most thoughtful thing that anyone has ever done for me. It's wonderful." I kissed him lightly on his lips. "I love this…and I love you." He turned a glowing pink in the moonlight. Suddenly the wind picked up a little. "We should go inside." I took his hand and we went into the little cabin.

Zell walked over to a radio. "Do you want some music or something?" I shook my head.

The moon was still visible from inside. I shut all the lights off in the cabin and sat by the window. Without the lights, it glowed brighter. "This is so nice, Zell." He sat next to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I felt his heart beating fast and I looked in his eyes. "I don't think it can get any better than this."

He held me tighter. "Can it?" He kissed me on my lips…a fiery, wonderfully passionate kiss. I wrapped my arms around his chest and snuggled closer to him. Being this close made me feel so good…so safe. Zell broke the kiss for a moment a took a quick breath, grinning. "I guess it can."

I caught him off guard by kissing him again. We started to laugh and I purposely fell backwards, just so Zell would embrace me and pull me up, closer to him. Our kisses broke and I looked into his eyes. They were shining as bright as the moon, and I'm sure mine were too. Impulsively, I began to slide my duster from my shoulders. However, instead of enjoying the moment, Zell touched my shoulder and pulled the duster back up. He completely stopped and sat upright, leaving me confused.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. He looked pale in the moonlight.

"It's-it's not you…It's just…" He put his head in his hands. "Damn…I ain't comfortable with this, Rinoa." I looked at him, puzzled. "I mean….Squall…and you. He was my best friend, an' I'm makin out with his girlfriend now." He stared at the floor. "I just don't know…" Zell sighed. "I love you Rinoa, I really, truly do…but….."

"But…" I repeated softly. "Why is it the 'but' that'll always cause trouble?"

Zell shrugged. "Dunno. It always does though…" He looked in my eyes. "Rinoa, are you comfortable with me?"

"Huh?" The question caught me off guard. "Um….yeah. I've always been comfortable with you. I have nothing to worry about when I'm with you…I love you."

"But do you ever think of Squall?"

It was that 'but' again. "Well…I can't help but think about what he would say about me now that we're together. Yes, I do think of him. A lot. But not when we're kissing. Not when we're close." I sighed.

"Oh." There was a long moment of awkward silence.

"Did you write that note on my dresser this morning?" It was worth bringing up again.

"A note? No, I didn't."

"Are you sure? It was on bright yellow paper…"

"Positive. I didn't write a note."

"Oh. I thought you did."

Zell looked confused. "What was in it?"

I hesitated. "Um…it said….to meet the person who wrote the note in the ballroom at 8 tonight." I looked out the window at the starry night sky. "Who wrote it? I'm thinking Selphie might have wrote it as a joke…I don't know."

"She probably did." I could tell from his tone that Zell was kind of jealous that someone tried to take me away from him…even if it was just a little note. "Well, we should get going, right?" I nodded. "All right, let's go." Before he left, he walked up to me and softly traced my face with his hand. "Sorry."

"It's all right." I watched him go and drive the boat back to Balamb. I knew how he felt. It was so soon…so sudden….the other day, we were friends, and now we're in love? I wanted to tell him how I felt, so I opened the door onto the windy deck. Zell was standing at the front of the boat. "Zell?" I asked him.

Zell turned around. "What's up?"

I sighed. "Look, Zell….don't you feel that this is all….sudden?" He nodded slowly. "I mean….Squall….it was only, not even a month ago." I put my hand to my head. "Oh boy…Zell, I'm sorry. We just have to slow things down…a lot…"

"I understand." I looked at him. "Really, I do. Did you think I was gonna go all crazy on you or something?" He smiled. "I thought…that was what you wanted…"

"You did?"

"Yeah."

I closed my eyes. Zell deserved an explanation of why I took things so fast. "Zell…I need to explain…"

"Explain what? Ya don't need to explain anything."

"Yes, I do." I sighed. "Zell…I know you thought going fast was what I wanted. I only acted the way I did because…well, cause Squall told me to." Zell looked at me, completely puzzled. "In dreams…you know how real things are, right? Squall…he came to me. He told me…that it's what he wanted."

He almost looked skeptical, but there was a curious glint in his eyes. "What did he want?"

"He thought you and I were meant for each other…he wanted to see us together." I remembered the dream vividly. "Squall told me to…go to you. I'd see him soon…." The wind picked up and I felt my hair blowing around my face. "Zell…I'm so sorry. I didn't tell you…"

Zell looked away from me. "No…you don't have to be sorry, Rinoa….I know how you feel…I had the same dream."

"What?" There was no way…

"Yeah. I did. Well…not exactly the same. Squall told me I'd always be his best friend and I could be there for you in a way he couldn't be…." Even in the glow of the moon, I saw a tear form in Zell's eye.

I walked up to Zell. There was nothing I could say…I had no words. Zell wrapped his arms around me. Both of us knew that there was nothing we could say to each other to feel any better.

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It was getting dark and really cold on the water, so Zell and I decided to leave. We didn't talk to each other on the ride back to shore. I got off the minute we reached land and I waited for Zell.

"Do you have the time?" I asked him.

"7:30," He replied.

"Oh." Deep inside, I wanted to go back to Garden and go straight to the Ballroom and see who was waiting for me. But my mind was telling me not to abandon Zell.

He knew what I was thinking though. "Hey, you can go." He told me softly.

"Huh?" I looked at him.

"I said you could go. I know you want to see whoever's waiting for you."

I sighed. "But I wouldn't feel right."

Zell looked in my eyes. "Rinoa…I want you to go. I'm not gonna hold you back…I trust you. Please." He held out his hand to me.

Hesitantly, I took it and kissed his cheek. "All right." Then I turned and started to run.

"Good luck!" Zell yelled to me. I barely heard him, because I was running as fast as I could. The Rent-A-Cars were expensive, and I wasn't good with a T-Board, so I ran….and ran…and ran.

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Amazingly enough, I reached Garden just as they were about to close the Front Gate. Nida was standing there as I stumbled up to him.

"Rinoa!" He yelled. Quickly he opened it and let me inside. "Where were you?"

I shook him off and leaned against a wall. "Balamb. I…um, forgot something." I started to run again, leaving Nida puzzled and hopelessly confused. I'll have to apologize to him later. I made a note in my mind as I ran into the main hall. It was quiet and dark. Moonlight flooded in from a few windows and gave the halls an eerie glow as I ran. I turned a few corners and found myself standing in front of the doors that lead into the ballroom. "It's now or never." I told myself. Silently, I opened the doors and slipped into the ballroom.

The middle of the room was flooded with moonlight, and everywhere else was completely pitch black. I walked quickly into the light and looked around. There were no signs of anybody. The only sounds were my breath and my heart.

"Hello?" I turned around to look at my surroundings. No one was there.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps. I glanced around, but no one else was in sight. "Hello?" I yelled. "Who's here?"

"Rinoa, you came." I whirled around. My eyes met a handsome young man. He had stormy blue eyes, spiky short brown hair….he was very bruised, and looked physically exhausted. Still…

I looked closely at him. "No…it can't be you…"

The man walked up to me. "I saw you…riding the T-Board…with Zell. I saved you." He smiled warmly at me. I felt as if my world was just picked up and shaken like a snowglobe.

At that moment, I knew I wasn't dreaming. My eyes watered and tears streamed down my face. "SQUALL!!!" I shouted and ran to him. My teardrops stained his white shirt. "You…came to me." I sobbed and flung my arms around him. "Oh, Hyne…Squall, I never got to tell you I love you. I missed you…" I took a deep breath to try and compose myself, but it was useless. "I love you, I love you! Squall!"

Squall held me in the tightest embrace, and I could've sworn that I heard him start to cry.. "You told me in a dream. You told me you loved me." He held me even tighter. "Rinoa, you knew I would never leave you. But I just never knew if I'd see you again." His voice started to break. Squall rested his chin on the top of my head.

A shooting star glittered through the sky. We both looked up at it. Then, my eyes met his. "You'll never know how much I missed you." I told him.

"There's nothing to discuss about me. I didn't see anyone else but you, yet.…so….I want to know about you and Zell before I hear about it from anyone else."

My heart and mind froze. Zell! I completely forgot about him once I laid my eyes on Squall. "…Zell?" Squall nodded. "Um…well, we weren't all that serious." I lied. I didn't want to, but what else was there to say? "I liked him for a while." Squall looked at me doubtfully…..he knew. I sighed and looked away. "OK, you want the truth? I love Zell. I love him so much. But…" I couldn't look at Squall anymore. He loved me so much…but I loved his best friend just as much as I loved him, if not more. I pushed myself out of his arms and ran down the hall.

"Rinoa!" Squall was yelling to me, but I ignored him. He wouldn't want to be with someone like me. I cheated on him willingly. Forever there would be a scar on our relationship that I wouldn't fix.

As I ran, the tears blinded my eyes. I wasn't looking, and I accidentally knocked someone down. "Owwwww!" I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked at the person who I knocked over.

"ZELL?" I shouted in surprise. He nodded and ran his hand through his hair. "Geez, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see if you got here OK." He smiled shyly. "I was worried. Cause…you know, you were runnin'…."

"Please, just don't worry about me." I jumped up quickly and ran away from Zell. Squall…Zell…what's the difference? I'm not good enough for either of them.

I found myself running towards the Training Center….I didn't know why, it was just that I usually sat in the "Secret Area" and gazed up at the stars when I was in trouble. Why is this happening to me? I thought Squall was gone for good. Just when I start to put my life back together, Squall comes back. I love him so much, but seeing him is tearing me apart! Zell…what am I going to do about Zell? Yeah, I love Zell too…but…Squall means so much more to me. I've only been with Zell for….a little under a month…but I've been with Squall for so much longer….what am I going to do? Zell's moving too fast…Squall moved too slow…he 'died' and came back….oh….what am I gonna do?

The tears were streaming down my face. I didn't wipe them…I was just worried about running away…from Squall…from Zell…I stopped running when I reached the "Secret Area." Slowly I tilted over the edge of the balcony and looked down. I pulled myself back up and looked up at the stars.

There was one star that stood out brighter than the rest. "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight." I whispered softly. "I know you probably won't help me," I told the star, "you never did when I used to do this. Please…help me. I'm confused…Squall, Zell…I didn't want this."

"I didn't know you still did that." I slowly turned around.

"Zell, please…" I began. "I'm not in any mood to see anyone."

He walked up to me, ignoring what I said. "Isn't the moon so….beautiful?" He asked. I looked at him…he seemed to be acting differently.

"Yeah, it is," I replied gazing up at the sky. I didn't want to take him seriously…he never talked about the moon. "But Zell…please, would you mind? I need a lot of time alone."

Zell shook his head. "No, Rinoa…I gotta say this now…" I was about to lose my composure, but he looked at me so sincerely. "Rinoa…do you see the stars?"

I giggled at him. "Of course I do. See?" What's up with him? I asked myself in my mind.

"Well…the stars….if I could, I would give every one to you." Zell sighed softly. "Rinoa….do you know how much I love you?"

He looked into my eyes. I shook my head. "…No. I don't know."

"I would give you anything you want, Rinoa. The stars…the moon….and it doesn't stop there. I would die for you." I went to walk away, but Zell grabbed my arm softly. "No, please, Rinoa…just answer my one question."

His eyes were pleading me to stay. "All right….but then, I have to go. Zell…"

Zell smiled and lead me over to the moonlight. It poured into a beam of light in the corner. I looked over at Zell. He looked apprehensive and so nervous, but beaming with happiness and hope at the same time. Then, he looked down and sighed. "Rinoa…this is what I have to say. Right here, right now." I looked at him, confused. "Or else I might never have the courage to say it again."

"Zell….what are you trying to do?"

He answered me by putting his hand in his pocket and taking out something. I didn't know what it was, until he took my hand and slipped something on my finger. It was a huge diamond and emerald engagement ring. I stared at it with round eyes. Zell gazed at me, his lips curled into a soft smile.

"Rinoa….will you marry me?"

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