"Love And Disloyalty"
~*CHAPTER SEVEN*~
"Rinoa…will you marry me?"
I looked down at the huge ring on my finger. Each jewel was cut wonderfully, and they sparkled when the moonlight hit them. It was possibly the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen. However, I could feel my heart stop beating with every glance I took at the ring…because I knew the answer that I had to give Zell.
"Zell…I-I can't…" I took the ring off my finger and held it tightly in my palm. Then, I looked up at Zell. There were so many different emotions on his face…but the one that showed the most was pain. A pain I couldn't describe. Like someone stabbed him through the heart with a dagger.
"…" He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. "…what?" He asked, dejectedly, in almost a whisper. His ocean-blue eyes didn't sparkle like they usually did…they were dull and melancholy.
"Please…Zell…I wish you knew…my-my….." I started to cry. "My feelings." Zell looked at me in complete disbelief. "You don't…you don't know…"
Zell shut his eyes tight, as to shut out the tears from flowing down his face. "I love you." I went to touch his face, but he pulled away from me. "…no."
"Zell…you don't know how I feel. I love you very much…but…I can't. We're seventeen! I'm just getting over the death of someone I loved very much. Then, something else…just happened before...It's just….so much stress. You don't know…"
"Stress for you?" Zell's voice became a lot louder. "It's not just stressful on you, Rinoa! Whatabout me? And Quistis? Irvine? Selphie? Whatabout them? We grew up with Squall! WE know the same stress that you do!"
"And then again…you don't." I looked behind me, because I sensed someone else's presence…but there was no one there. "I wish you would understand."
"Understand what? That you don't love me as much as I thought you did? That you--""
I looked straight into Zell's eyes. "Squall isn't dead." I whispered. The words came out shaky, and I took a deep breath to try to calm myself.
Zell glared at me angrily. "No. He is dead. For a month, Rin…a month ago."
His words shocked me. He didn't believe me. "I…I thought he was your best friend." I stammered. "You…you wouldn't even care if you believed m-me…" I began to run away…as fast as my legs could take me.
"Rinoa!!" Zell yelled to me, but I didn't want to listen to him. Squall was alive. So…alive.
"Rinoa! Come back!" I heard Zell running after me, but I still didn't listen to him. I looked back to glance at him. Zell was far behind me. "RINOA! WATCH OUT!" I looked straight in time to see a huge T-Rexaur running in my direction.
I screamed. It was heading straight for me, but I had no weapon or GF…I was dead. Memories of the Great Salt Lake flashed through my mind, but this time, I was unarmed and completely defenseless.
"AH!" The huge beast charged at me at a speed that took me by surprise. "Zell!" I screamed…but he wouldn't be able to come in time to help me. The T-Rexaur began to thrash itself around wildly. I couldn't do anything to stop it as its tail hit me in my stomach and practically knocked me unconscious. I could feel myself fly back a few feet and crumple in a small heap, vulnerable to the monster's attacks. "Zell…" I murmured weakly. He didn't hear me.
"Rinoa!" He shouted. I knew he saw me laying there, and he began to sprint in my direction. Zell can't take him on… I whispered in my mind. He's going to die…
"My Final Heaven!" I saw Zell jump towards the T-Rexaur and pummel it with an array of powerful blows. The T-Rexaur fell back a few steps and had to regain itself. "Are you all right?!" He started to come towards me, and I saw the concern etched in his expressions. "Rinoa…you're not gonna die, aiight? I promise you."
"…Aiight." I replied softly. He couldn't help but smile. "Watch out!" I shrieked. The T-Rexaur wasn't really interested in me anymore…it wanted Zell. He was pre-occupied with me and didn't realize the monster run up behind him and take hold of his torso with his jaws. His eyes widened in pain as he was being thrashed around. "NO!" I screamed. At first…I thought Zell was surely dead. He looked straight at me and smiled weakly before falling completely limp, like a rag doll. "ZELL!" I was so weak…I couldn't do anything. The T-Rexaur dropped Zell, then came closer and closer to me. I could hear and feel the rumble of its feet. "No…NOO!" The T-Rexaur was only a few feet away…I closed my eyes and waited for my death to come to me…..
"RENZOKUKEN!"
"RRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR….."
"LIONHEART!"
"RAAAAAARRRRROOOOORRRRR……"
I felt a warmth overcome me as I laid there. "Am…I dead?" I asked anyone who was listening, my eyes still closed.
Someone's hand touched my face. "Open your eyes, Rinoa…please, open your eyes."
My eye's fluttered open. "Squall…" He was kneeling in front of me, his gray-blue eyes
gazing deep into mine. "Oh…Squall…" I felt myself being scooped up into his welcoming
arms. "Thank you." I looked up at him, and out of the corner of my eye…I saw Zell, laying
crumpled on the ground.
"Oh, Hyne..." I whispered as I jumped up and ran to Zell's side. "ZELL! Zell…please, wake
up." I touched my hand to his chest. The blood was trickling out into a pool under him, and
it stained his black T-shirt. There were numerous cuts and scratches all over his face and
arms. "No…please…no." I felt the tears fall from my eyes, and I touched his cheek gently.
Squall ran and knelt down next to me. "Zell…" He whispered. I always knew Squall
considered Zell his best friend, even though they didn't always get along. "He's not going
to die."
I shook Zell's shoulders. "Wake up! Wake up Zell…please…wake up, damn you!" When he
didn't react, I shook him harder. The tears from my eyes fell on Zell's pale face. "Wake up!
I love you! You can't do this to me!" Squall looked at me, a bit stunned.
"You…" He murmured softly, trailing off. "You love him?" A look of astonishment painted
itself onto his face, and he gazed at me in disbelief.
"…yes." I looked back at Zell and softly I traced his black tattoo with my fingers. "Don't die
Zell…please…" Suddenly, something caught my eye. I looked back, away from Zell, and I
saw something glittering on the ground. I stumbled to it and picked it up. It was the ring.
Squall walked over to me. "Go get Dr. Kadowaki." I told him quietly.
"All right." Immediately, Squall jumped up and ran off.
I walked over to Zell's battered body. "Hyne, let this work…" I whimpered, feeling the tears
coming on. Softly, I took Zell's lifeless, cold hand and put the ring in his palm. Then, I
clasped my own hands around his and bowed my head, summoning any and all of my
sorceress power. If I can use it for any good, let it be for this…
Suddenly, a warm glow came from inside our hands. There was a bright yellow light, then
a soft blue light, and a holy white light. I heard soft angelic voices all around me, and I
they seemed to be telling me exactly what to say…every syllable. "Liberi Fatali…" I
whispered. "Free Fatal…" There was a bright flash and a deafening scream erupted from
the voices. I closed my eyes and screamed myself. "Free Fatal!" I felt overwhelmed for a
moment, then everything stopped. My eyes fluttered open. "Zell…" He was still
unconscious. "No…" I stroked his hair gingerly, praying in my mind and heart.
"Where is he?!" It was Doctor Kadowaki. I bowed my head, knowing Squall and the others
were with him.
"Rinoa!" Squall ran towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. "Is
Zell…?"
I started to sob. "Yes…." I couldn't finish what I was going to say, but he knew. Squall
turned me around and I fell into his arms and buried my head in his white shirt. "I didn't get
to say good-bye…or-or tell him I loved him…" I whispered to myself, tears and sobs
choking my voice..
Doctor Kadowaki got Zell to the Infirmary quickly. I didn't even see her take him away.
Quistis, Selphie, and Irvine were there, but I didn't get to see them either. They went with
Doctor Kadowaki. Squall and I were left alone, sitting on the cold ground of the Training
Center. I wished I had said yes to Zell's proposal, even if I didn't mean it…then this
would never have happened…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Beep….beep…beep….beep….beep….
I was sitting at Zell's side all night in the Infirmary. Doctor Kadowaki told me he was in very critical condition. She was amazed that he lasted the night. Zell…this is all my fault…if I had only said yes to you…then this wouldn't have happened…I feel so foolish…
I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder, and I looked up, thinking it was Squall or Selphie. "…Raijin?" He nodded. "What are you doing here?" I asked, rather coldly.
"Look…" Raijin looked at Zell in the bed. "I just wanted to tell you that, uh…Seifer left."
"What?" I thought he was playing a joke, and I sighed. This is no time for this…I don't care.
"He couldn't live with himself, ya know? I know this sounds totally stupid and all, but…he was havin a tough time…ya know?"
I almost felt a pang of sympathy. "What did he ever have a tough time with?"
"Squall…"
"I didn't think that they were friends."
"They never were, ya know? But Seifer did respect him, a-and when he found out that he was alive just before, he felt bad about what he did to you, ya know?"
"So he left Garden, not wanting to face Squall…am I right?"
"Pretty much." Raijin frowned, his dark eyes dull with sadness. "I dunno if this is a good time or not. Didn't know if you cared, ya know?"
"I know…" I looked up at Raijin. "I appreciate the gesture, though."
"Well, I gotta go, ya know? Fuu's probably lookin for me." Before he left, he smiled a little. "I hope that Zell's all right…never wanted to see this." Then he left.
I buried my head in my hands. Although I hated Seifer, it was a shame that he had to leave…but it wasn't something that I really cared about at the time.
Then, I heard the door open again. "It's Squall."
I turned around. "Hi."
Squall sat down in the chair next to me. His face was soft and pale, and he almost looked like a child. "Rinoa…I think I have some explaining to do."
"No, you don't." I leaned my head on his shoulder, and I felt all the comfort that I missed coming back to me. "You're alive. You're really alive. I don't need any more of an explanation."
"Yes you do." Squall sighed. "Well…that day when we fought the T-Rexaurs in the Great Salt Lake, I fought for you. Secretly, I knew I was going to die. There was no way that we could bring down five T-Rexaurs...that's just common sense. I wanted you to be happy when I was gone, and I saw that you were….or would be…with Zell. But anyway…that's beside the point. One T-Rexaur knocked me out with his tail, and I went flying over the cliff. But, you know how rocky and jagged that cliff is?"
I nodded. "Yeah…?"
"I landed on an outcropping in the cliff that wasn't very far from the top. Irvine, Quistis, and Selphie assumed I was dead, though. And they couldn't check, either, because they had to retreat to save their own lives. So, I awoke about an hour after they left, and since then…I was trying to get out so I could see you."
Something he said was bothering me. "But…how did you know I would be happy with Zell?" I shook my head. "I never really wanted to be with anyone else but you."
"I felt it. Zell's the best friend I ever had, and I wanted you to have someone I could really trust in case we all got killed." Squall looked at Zell. "How is he anyway?"
"Not much better…"
Squall stood up. "I have to find Quistis. Are you coming?"
I looked at Zell, then at Squall. "I'll be with you in a minute." I watched Squall leave. Reluctantly, I got up myself and started towards the door, taking quiet, short strides.
"Hey…why are you leaving me, Rin?"
At first, I thought I was hearing things. Zell wasn't consious. I turned around and walked back towards him. Slowly, I sat down, not taking my eyes off of his face.
"Good…you're back…."
"Zell?" I gazed at him in disbelief.
Suddenly, his eyes fluttered open weakly. "In the flesh…"
My eyes widened. "I thought…I thought you were…!"
"That fancy spell you did…that saved me…" Zell smiled his infamous little flirty smile. He opened his other hand to me. In it was the ring I put in his hand earlier. He hadn't let it go. "Here…I know Squall's back…I heard 'im…keep it as a gift." I wouldn't take it. "Rinoa…I'm giving it to you. Take it." Hesitantly, I took it and slipped it on my finger. "No…put it on that chain of yours."
I took the chain off my neck and slipped the ring on it. "Zell…I missed you so much. I was so afraid for you…"
Zell looked over at my chain. "Gee…that looks nice there, Rinoa." He sighed. "So…I guess this means we're over, huh? It's the end of the road."
"What?"
"Us. Love. Zell Dincht and Rinoa Heartilly. Or Rinoa Dincht if you had said yes before." He sighed. "That has an awful nice ring to it…"
The thought that Zell and I couldn't see each other again hurt my heart. "As much as I hate to say it…I think so." I held the new ring on my chain in my palm, and I tried a shaky grin. "But it's not over until we have that one last kiss." I leaned over and kissed Zell on the forehead lightly.
"That's it? After all the kisses and times we spent, we end it with a kiss on the forehead?" He joked. I nodded. "Oh. Well, that was just as good as any." He paused. "Ya know, I'm surprised Squall isn't pissed at the two of us…if I were him, I'd be kinda mad."
"I'd be too if it was you and him."
"HEY! What are you getting at?"
I giggled. "I see you're feeling a bit better."
Zell smiled. "Yup." He sat up a little. I leaned over and kissed him softly on his lips. There was that bright spark, as always. It was sweet…but so final.
The kiss lasted for a few seconds. When I pulled away from him, my eyes were still closed. "Now…it's over." I whispered. I opened my eyes when I felt Zell touch my cheek with the back of his hand. Then, he flipped his legs over the side of the bed. "What are you doing?" I asked.
"Gettin up. Sheesh, Rinoa." He stood up and I took his arm so he wouldn't fall because of his injuries, but he seemed quite capable. Then, we started to walk to the door.
"You know Rinoa…" Zell began, "I learned a lot being with you."
"Really?" I asked.
"Yup. I learned…well, a whole bunch of stuff."
"Like what?"
"Hmm…" Zell stopped walking. "How to kiss. I had my first kiss with you." I giggled.
"No, you didn't." He looked at me. "Seriously?"
"Uh-huh. See?" Zell kissed me again. Suddenly, we both felt the presence of another person. We broke our kiss just to lock eyes with Squall, who had just opened the door.
I started to laugh. "Hey…we're just friends now, Zell. Save it for that cutie from the library." His face turned bright red.
Squall shook his head both before taking a few steps towards us. "Well, well, well…" He said, looking his best friend over. Zell looked at the ground. "What's wrong?"
"Well…Squall…I know you're gonna kick my butt when I get better…an' I'm gonna probably be back in here…"
"No, I'm not." Zell looked up at Squall. "You took care of Rinoa for me. You went a little overboard, of course…but I'm not really mad."
"Really?" Zell and I said at the same time. Squall nodded.
"I-I guess I was mad…when I saw you two kiss in Balamb…when you were fishing…" Squall smiled. "But…whatever. I know it's not happening ever again."
"You saw that?!" Zell's eyes widened. "Not even Selphie or Quistis or Irvine saw that!"
I was shocked too. "No way…you knew where I was for THAT long? Why didn't you come back?"
"Well, I didn't think it was the right time to come back." Squall looked at the engagement ring on my chain. "And I saw Zell give that to you." Zell looked like he was going to faint, and I squeezed his arm. "…I guess I was angry then, too...it hurts. A lot." He sighed. "But it was my fault anyway. I put you two together in the beginning." He laughed at himself. "I just wanted to see you two. I knew that there was no reason to be mad, because I knew that in the end, everything would be like it always was."
Zell smiled. "True, true. I learned my lesson."
"Me too." I grabbed Zell and Squall, and I hugged them both. "Oh, I am soooo happy!"
Suddenly, Ma Dincht walked into the room. "Zell! My baby!" She hadn't even seen him yet, and gave her son a huge hug.
"Maaaa!" He whined, embarrassed.
"Aw, Zell. It's only a hug from your mother!" Mrs. Dincht looked at me and grabbed me in her free arm. "I can't thank you enough."
"Why?" I looked at her, confused.
"Sweetheart, look what you did for my boy." She took me to the side, and we both gazed at Zell, who was talking to Squall. "He knows true love. Rejection. Happiness. Everything that I couldn't teach him, you did." Mrs. Dincht gave me a big hug. "I can't thank you enough for showing him something I was completely unable to do."
I blushed. "That's so sweet, Mrs. Dincht." I looked and saw Irvine, Quistis, and Selphie peeking in through the doorway. "Hey!"
"Heyyy!" Selphie hugged me. "How are you, Rin?" She saw the ring on my chain. "OH! Wow! That's what you got that from Zell? It's so…big…wow." Quistis and Mrs. Dincht walked over, noticing the ring for the first time.
"My son bought that? With his own money?" Mrs. Dincht looked at Zell, amazed. "Zell! You never told me that you and Rinoa were really serious!"
Zell blushed. "Ma, it really…wasn't. I just made a huge mistake." He grinned at me. "But we're just friends now…right?"
"Yup." I smiled at Zell. "I hope so."
Suddenly, Irvine took my arm and grabbed my attention. "So, wasn't I right?"
"What did you say?" I thought for a minute. "Oh, yeah! That if I do what I feel is right everything will come together in the end. Actually…you were right." He smiled.
"I knew I was."
"So…" I began, "I guess some of your advice works."
Irvine frowned. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing…" I giggled. I never realized how good of a friend Irvine was until I needed him most…
After Mrs. Dincht left, it was the six of us…again. Suddenly we were whole and everything was seemingly perfect. Yet, Zell and I were both uneasy…it was going to be hard to act like nothing ever happened.
"Well…" Squall said. He was leaning up against the wall, looking out the window. "This has been awfully interesting, hasn't it?"
We all nodded at the same time. "It's nice to have the group back together." Quistis smiled. "I was missing these warm, fuzzy moments we always shared." She looked at Zell and I. "I like getting into the warm moments just as much as you two…" I laughed at her little joke.
"It's been…kind of a roller coaster ride. I mean…Squall…Zell and I…and Seifer, too…" I sat down on the bed, drawing my knees up to my chin.
Selphie looked confused. "But what are you two gonna do? I mean, Zell…Rinoa, you two were like…" She trailed off after she saw Squall frown at her. "I'm sorry."
"No." I looked at Selphie. "You brought up a good point." I sighed. Zell looked down at the floor. "The three of us…Squall, Zell, and I…we have to come up with something." Squall looked at me. "Or maybe we just go to how it was before any of this happened."
"That can't happen." Everyone looked at Zell. "All of this happened. We can't just throw it in the past and say that it's over." He looked away. "I'm not saying…that I should stay with Rinoa. Really…her an' Squall are meant for each other." I saw the compassion in his eyes when he said those words. He really, really despised saying that…but because he did, I admired him. (I never would have had the strength.) "I'm willin' to step back and let Squall….do whatever he did."
"Zell…" I began.
He shook his head. "Rinoa…gee, I'm sorry. But it's how it has to be. We were never meant for each other like you and Squall are. You two…just compliment each other so well." I looked at Zell with tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry. This was all my fault in the beginning." He turned to Squall. "You think it's your fault cause you told me to protect Rinoa. And I did. I was also the one that made the first move. An' now I regret that." Slowly, he started to walk away, almost dejected. "I just need some time to think, guys..."
No one dared to make a move. We all watched him leave the Infirmary. Squall looked forlorn. Quistis, Selphie, and Irvine were totally confused. Zell and I were the only ones that knew what had to be done. At least, that was what I thought until Squall walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Talk to him."
"What?" I shook my head. "I-I can't…"
"Then who will? The only way this is gonna be settled is if you two do it. Not Selphie. Or Quistis or Irvine. Hell, not even me." Squall closed his eyes. "Although I wish I could. But that wouldn't be fair to you, would it?"
I managed a small smile. "Yeah…I guess I'll go talk to him." Everyone kept their eyes on me as I walked out of the room. They started to talk once I left, and I leaned against the wall to listen in.
"What do you think will happen?" Quistis asked.
"I…I don't know." Squall replied. "I know Rinoa will do the right thing…but I can't help but feel guilty."
"Guilty?" Irvine exclaimed. "Why, Squall?"
"Hyne…I wish I knew. There's a small part in me, telling me to give up to Zell. But the bigger part says that what he said earlier is true. I saw them so happy…and then I suddenly pop into their lives again."
"Squall…" Selphie trailed off.
"It's not your fault, Squall." Quistis said firmly. "Zell and Rinoa were in love. Yes, that's true. And they probably still are. But each of them also know where you stand…" She sighed. "But I also know that love…especially true love, just doesn't end. It doesn't just…break off…oh, I don't know either Squall."
"Quistis…you don't have to know."
"Maybe you, Zell, and Rinoa should talk." Irvine suggested.
"No….right now….this is in Rinoa's and Zell's hands. Really, it's what they want to do. But it would hurt me too much to lose Rinoa. I also know it's hurting Zell to lose her too…" Squall laughed. "Hyne, Zell's probably hurting a lot more…"
I shut my eyes tight. This is in Rinoa's and Zell's hands… Oh, that made me sick. I didn't want the responsibility of making or breaking a relationship with Zell or Squall. It was just too much…but I decided to do what had to be done. If I don't do it, than who will? I took a deep breath and walked away.
First, I checked the dormitory. They were all quiet…well, at four in the morning, I was expecting it to be quiet. I ran all the way to Zell's room to check if he was inside. There was no answer. I tried the door knob, but it was locked. Funny…he never locks his door.
Next, I ran all the way to the cafeteria. There was Garden Security standing guard, but I asked them if I could check for Zell anyway. As I assumed, he wasn't in there, so I checked the next best place--the ballroom.
It was dead quiet until I ran in, yelling for him. I walked to the center of the floor, and there he was. Zell was lying a few feet away from me, gazing at the stars. I didn't want to disturb him, so I quietly began to back away.
"Rinoa, I see you." Zell looked up at me and motioned for me to sit down. I did, and felt him next to me…it was a soothing feeling.
"So…hi." I said softly. Stars glittered down into the skylight. "Watching the sky?" I asked, knowing he was.
"Yeah. I'm tryin to think. About us." He put his hands behind his head and leaned back.
I looked at the floor. "I was too."
"But there's not really much to think about. We're done. No more Rinoa and Zell. All I have to do is get over it." He sighed. "But I don't think I can. Hell, I probably never will…"
"Neither can I." A 'twilight cloud' moved over the moon and made the ballroom dark. "It's all so confusing. I just want to go to the day before we fought at the Great Salt Lake. Then, I could have told everyone we weren't going and that would be it. Because…the trip was Squall's and my idea."
Zell looked up at the cloud. "We're gonna have to get over this, though. Just one day at a time…and it'll fade."
"Yeah, I hope so." I sighed.
"I'm really gonna miss you, Rin…" Zell whispered, and his voice broke slightly. He opened his mouth to say something else, but he stopped.
His blue eyes glittered like the stars in the sky. "…I feel the same way." I stood, leaving Zell lying there. "I gotta go." I'll always love you, Zell Dincht. Zell looked at me as I walked towards the door. Squall met me there…he was watching us. Not to make sure that I did what he told me to, but to admire the strength of two people letting go of love.
"You did it?" He asked me.
I looked back at Zell, who was now laying back on the floor, looking at those stars again. I saw the one that he was probably looking at that very moment. It was bright…shining…and suddenly, another cloud moved over it and made it disappear in the velvety black night. "Yes…I did."
FIN!
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A/N: ::smiles:: Thank God that's done. J All I really have to clarify is the part where Rinoa says Liberi Fatali. I know it means something with children or something, but in Italian means Free Fatal…idk. (that's AltaVista for you.)
And I'm just gonna take two more minutes of your time and just tell you the central idea if you haven't guessed it already:
Love is a crazy game. It'll slip through your fingers at the most inopportune times and will come when you least expect it or when you don't want it. Sometimes it develops quickly, sometimes it comes over time…just treasure it while it's there.