Title: Fireflies (part 4 - New Life)
Author: Nimue
Rating: PG - 13
Feedback: Yes, please
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc.. Just Borrowing.
Summary: Willow has just dropped two bombs on the remaining Scoobies. Bombs that could change everything, if they chose to let them....
Fireflies
All of them were completely silent. The air was thick and Buffy could
barely breathe. Of course he was dead. She watched him disappear. Poof. There were no ashes, but Spike was no normal vampire. She just thought that the difference was in the man. He faded away. That was the easiest way for her to remember it. Not the look on his face. Not the awful red glow that seemed to dissolve him. Not her desperate run to try and grab him from the abyss. Spike just was there and then ...gone.
"Wha..what do you mean, Willow?" Tara said. No one thought it had been
possible, but Buffy's face turned one shade whiter. Giles put his hand on her shoulder to steady her. It really looked as if the girl might pass out.
"Anya, could you get some water, please, quickly? " Giles said as Buffy
became obviously overwhelmed and grabbed the arms of the chair. This was too much. Far too much. Anya scurried from the chair to the back room as quickly as possible, coming back with a tumbler almost brimming over. Buffy took an enormous drink and seemed to settle just a little.
"Willow," Buffy asked. "What are you talking about? I saw it happen. so did Xander. With our own eyes."
"I know, Buffy. But I felt it."
Buffy was silent. In some strange way, she felt jealous that it was with Willow that Spike had been so intimately connected with when he died. It was intimacy, in its own way. Feeding was a sensual thing. Pleasure. The most intimate thing in a vampire's existence, except for maybe making love. Or doing both at once. It shocked Buffy that she understood so much about Spike now that he was gone.
"What, exactly, did you feel?" Xander asked, obviously dubious of Willow's revelation.
"You have to understand something about Rack, about how he works, to really get this," Willow said. "Rack was more of a conduit than a warlock. He drew power from other sources, dark sources, and channeled it into himself, or, in the case of that night, into both of us. "
"Many supposed warlocks are truly conduits for multiple power sources,"
Giles contributed. "The more sources, the better."
"Right," Willow agreed. "Rack was one of the best of them. He could draw power from both the white and black magics and turn them into whatever he wanted them to be. Also, he was not limited in drawing from sources in this dimension."
"He was a cross dimensional conduit?" Giles gasped.
"In English, please." Xander said, frustrated with the conversation.
"He was able to not only draw from the magic and innate properties of items in this dimension, but he could also reach into other dimensions and draw power from people and objects there." Tara said to Xander.
"Oh," Xander said, still obviously lost.
"That night, Rack was drawing power from our dimension and one other. I
could feel it. It was completely alien to me. Darker than anything I have ever dealt with on this plane. It was like... acid in my blood." Willow said, shuddering at the thought. A look of understanding finally came over Giles' face. He saw where Willow was taking them. She might just be right.
"What does this have to do with Spike?" Buffy asked, still clutching white knuckled at the arms of the chair.
"He didn't *die*. When he drained Willow, took the darkness from her, the dark powers of this dimension stayed with Rack. As a human, it was too much for him, and he died. Spike must have absorbed the power from the other dimension, and ..." Giles formulated.
"And he got sucked there with it," Anya continued in her less than tactful, but correct, manner.
"This is ridiculous." Buffy said, now flushed with confusion. "He's not living it up in some other dimension while we're still..." Buffy stopped. She had not meant it the way it came out, but as she said it, she thought... maybe he did not want to come back. Maybe he was happy where he was, like she had been.
"Buffy, I don't think it's like that." Willow said in response.
"Well, you don't have a very good track record with that," Buffy snapped. The words bit her almost as hard as they bit Willow. "I'm sorry, Will." She amended.
"I deserved it."
"No, you didn't" Buffy said. "This is just all.. a lot."
"I know. I don't think it is like that though, Buffy. He did not have a choice in the matter. When he connected with it, when he drained it, it took him against his will. I felt him fighting, Buffy. But that much
magic... you saw what it could do."
Buffy nodded. It was some consolation that he had not chose to leave.
Still, he wasn't there and that was the bottom line wasn't it? Maybe he was alive, somewhere, but not here.
"Do you know from which dimensions Rack was drawing power?" Giles asked.
"I'm not sure," Willow answered. Buffy's heart sank again. "But I think I can figure it out."
"How?" Xander asked.
"It's complicated. Oh, and non-magical. But I think I can do it."
"Can I help?" Anya asked. "I'd like to find Spike again and I've been to several dimensions. I might have been there before."
"Sure," Willow answered. "That is if Buffy wants us to look."
Buffy was quiet. What if he was happy there? "Would he have a choice to come back, if we find him?"
"I suppose it would depend on where we find him, and how we chose to get him back," Giles answered for Willow.
Buffy swallowed hard. She wasn't sure how much she meant of what she was about to say, but she knew it was right. "I do not want him back here unless it is his choice. No matter where he is. OK?"
"Ok," Willow answered.
" I need to get out of here," Buffy said, pushing herself to her feet.
"I'll come with you," Xander said, hopping up.
"I'd really rather be alone." Buffy softly smiled back at her friend. He sat back down, knowing there was no arguing with her. " Giles, can you pick Dawn up at the mall at 7 and take her home? I'll be back later."
"Sure," Giles answered, not knowing what else to say to her.
With that, Buffy made her way out into the evening.
*****
Tara, Anya and Willow sat in a circle on the floor, the candle flickering softly in the center. They had made Anya swear to silence. Her duty was only to listen and try and figure out if she knew anything at all about the place they hoped to find.
Willow insisted on being the traveler. In her mind, Spike was lost because of her. She knew it was dangerous, but something in her had to do it. Giles had given them an herb. One that would help them to move between dimensions, but he had warned them of the herb's power. Willow was insistent.
Tara was the anchor. She was to try and keep Willow connected to the land of the living. Or at least *this* land of the living. Tara knew it would be hard to connect with Willow again after everything that had happened, but this was bigger than the both of them.
Willow drank the herbal infusion and her face squinched from the taste.
Tara held out her hands, the candle between her forearms and Willow took
them softly, handling them like porcelain. They connected with a spark, a shock that melted them both. Their eyes connected, then Willow's softly closed. "Take me to Spike," she whispered to the air.
The red headed witch found herself suddenly back on the playground. Visions sped around her from all sides, whipping her skin, hurting her eyes. It seemed everything was moving one hundred times normal speed except for her. Like someone had hit fast forward on a remote control. Willow felt a sharp, almost blinding pain in her neck and her head fell back like a rag doll. She felt his fangs buried in her shoulder and could see a flash of his hair from the corner of her eye. "Spike," she groaned, "take me with you."
The pain was gone. The playground - gone. Everything was red. She felt herself slide out of her skin until all that was left was a tiny ball of light. Still, she could hear Tara's voice in her mind speaking softly, grounding her. She fell steadily like Alice in the rabbit hole.
Suddenly, all the red was gone, and the world began to speed past, only this time she was speeding along with it like dust in a tornado. Blurred pictures sped in front of her eyes. They would stop abruptly like someone had hit pause on the cosmic remote and Willow could make out a still picture before the world began to speed into a dizzying array of light.
There was a forest. A river. A dog. Willow's vision blurred then
screeched to a halt. Rocks, red and gray. Millions of rocks. Faces.
Screaming. Then a cavalcade of color, all shades of red. Freeze. Red
mansion. Blur. Stop. Little men in strange clothes. Blur. Stop. Spike. Spike chained. Thin. Gaunt. Fire. Blood. Blur. Stop. Good-looking man, nice suit, hands sparkling. Spike wincing, roaring. Blur. Stop. Eyes. Blue. Intense. Dying. Heart broken. Blur. Stop. Red eyes glowing. Screaming. Blackness.
"Willow," Tara was screaming, "Willow!"
Willow's eyes fluttered open. She was drenched in sweat and her heart was pounding in her chest. "Tara?"
"Oh, God, Willow," Tara breathed, pulling the girl to her chest, embracing her. Anya stepped in with a wet wash cloth, handing it to Tara. Softly, Tara ran the cloth over the soaked nape of Willow's neck.
" I found him," Willow breathed into Tara's shoulder.
"You did well," Tara answered, smoothing Willow's hair with her soft hands. "You spoke and screamed and cried. It was terrifying."
"It was red. And rocks with people screaming. And a good looking man in a suit..." Willow gushed.
"Luke," Anya chirped. "That's a hell dimension. Big into the brawling and ruckus. Lots of torture. Used to be fun."
"You *know what dimension it is?" Tara asked.
"Sure. Used to go there for parties. La Maison Rouge," Anya mused.
"Red house. Red mansion," Willow panted. "Saw that."
"Big keggers," the former demon reminisced, "very strict guest list."
"How do we get there?" Tara asked.
"Oh, you can't. Unless you go on a killing spree and die." Tara and Willow both looked at Anya, tempted to spell her mouth shut again. " Demons only. Or blood relatives. Humans can't go there. The red haze dissolves them."
"Turns you into a ball of light?" Willow asked, still breathing heavily.
"Fireflies. Can't talk. Can't interact. Just a visual tour. Screws up time too."
"Tell me about it," Willow replied.
"So how do we get Spike?" Tara asked.
"That's a tough one," Anya said, sitting in a chair and rubbing her chin
pensively. "None of us are demons anymore. I doubt Spike has any blood
relatives floating around California..."
"Blood relatives? " Tara asked.
"The baby..." Willow whispered, passing out against Tara's shoulder.
To be contd..
Author: Nimue
Rating: PG - 13
Feedback: Yes, please
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc.. Just Borrowing.
Summary: Willow has just dropped two bombs on the remaining Scoobies. Bombs that could change everything, if they chose to let them....
Fireflies
All of them were completely silent. The air was thick and Buffy could
barely breathe. Of course he was dead. She watched him disappear. Poof. There were no ashes, but Spike was no normal vampire. She just thought that the difference was in the man. He faded away. That was the easiest way for her to remember it. Not the look on his face. Not the awful red glow that seemed to dissolve him. Not her desperate run to try and grab him from the abyss. Spike just was there and then ...gone.
"Wha..what do you mean, Willow?" Tara said. No one thought it had been
possible, but Buffy's face turned one shade whiter. Giles put his hand on her shoulder to steady her. It really looked as if the girl might pass out.
"Anya, could you get some water, please, quickly? " Giles said as Buffy
became obviously overwhelmed and grabbed the arms of the chair. This was too much. Far too much. Anya scurried from the chair to the back room as quickly as possible, coming back with a tumbler almost brimming over. Buffy took an enormous drink and seemed to settle just a little.
"Willow," Buffy asked. "What are you talking about? I saw it happen. so did Xander. With our own eyes."
"I know, Buffy. But I felt it."
Buffy was silent. In some strange way, she felt jealous that it was with Willow that Spike had been so intimately connected with when he died. It was intimacy, in its own way. Feeding was a sensual thing. Pleasure. The most intimate thing in a vampire's existence, except for maybe making love. Or doing both at once. It shocked Buffy that she understood so much about Spike now that he was gone.
"What, exactly, did you feel?" Xander asked, obviously dubious of Willow's revelation.
"You have to understand something about Rack, about how he works, to really get this," Willow said. "Rack was more of a conduit than a warlock. He drew power from other sources, dark sources, and channeled it into himself, or, in the case of that night, into both of us. "
"Many supposed warlocks are truly conduits for multiple power sources,"
Giles contributed. "The more sources, the better."
"Right," Willow agreed. "Rack was one of the best of them. He could draw power from both the white and black magics and turn them into whatever he wanted them to be. Also, he was not limited in drawing from sources in this dimension."
"He was a cross dimensional conduit?" Giles gasped.
"In English, please." Xander said, frustrated with the conversation.
"He was able to not only draw from the magic and innate properties of items in this dimension, but he could also reach into other dimensions and draw power from people and objects there." Tara said to Xander.
"Oh," Xander said, still obviously lost.
"That night, Rack was drawing power from our dimension and one other. I
could feel it. It was completely alien to me. Darker than anything I have ever dealt with on this plane. It was like... acid in my blood." Willow said, shuddering at the thought. A look of understanding finally came over Giles' face. He saw where Willow was taking them. She might just be right.
"What does this have to do with Spike?" Buffy asked, still clutching white knuckled at the arms of the chair.
"He didn't *die*. When he drained Willow, took the darkness from her, the dark powers of this dimension stayed with Rack. As a human, it was too much for him, and he died. Spike must have absorbed the power from the other dimension, and ..." Giles formulated.
"And he got sucked there with it," Anya continued in her less than tactful, but correct, manner.
"This is ridiculous." Buffy said, now flushed with confusion. "He's not living it up in some other dimension while we're still..." Buffy stopped. She had not meant it the way it came out, but as she said it, she thought... maybe he did not want to come back. Maybe he was happy where he was, like she had been.
"Buffy, I don't think it's like that." Willow said in response.
"Well, you don't have a very good track record with that," Buffy snapped. The words bit her almost as hard as they bit Willow. "I'm sorry, Will." She amended.
"I deserved it."
"No, you didn't" Buffy said. "This is just all.. a lot."
"I know. I don't think it is like that though, Buffy. He did not have a choice in the matter. When he connected with it, when he drained it, it took him against his will. I felt him fighting, Buffy. But that much
magic... you saw what it could do."
Buffy nodded. It was some consolation that he had not chose to leave.
Still, he wasn't there and that was the bottom line wasn't it? Maybe he was alive, somewhere, but not here.
"Do you know from which dimensions Rack was drawing power?" Giles asked.
"I'm not sure," Willow answered. Buffy's heart sank again. "But I think I can figure it out."
"How?" Xander asked.
"It's complicated. Oh, and non-magical. But I think I can do it."
"Can I help?" Anya asked. "I'd like to find Spike again and I've been to several dimensions. I might have been there before."
"Sure," Willow answered. "That is if Buffy wants us to look."
Buffy was quiet. What if he was happy there? "Would he have a choice to come back, if we find him?"
"I suppose it would depend on where we find him, and how we chose to get him back," Giles answered for Willow.
Buffy swallowed hard. She wasn't sure how much she meant of what she was about to say, but she knew it was right. "I do not want him back here unless it is his choice. No matter where he is. OK?"
"Ok," Willow answered.
" I need to get out of here," Buffy said, pushing herself to her feet.
"I'll come with you," Xander said, hopping up.
"I'd really rather be alone." Buffy softly smiled back at her friend. He sat back down, knowing there was no arguing with her. " Giles, can you pick Dawn up at the mall at 7 and take her home? I'll be back later."
"Sure," Giles answered, not knowing what else to say to her.
With that, Buffy made her way out into the evening.
*****
Tara, Anya and Willow sat in a circle on the floor, the candle flickering softly in the center. They had made Anya swear to silence. Her duty was only to listen and try and figure out if she knew anything at all about the place they hoped to find.
Willow insisted on being the traveler. In her mind, Spike was lost because of her. She knew it was dangerous, but something in her had to do it. Giles had given them an herb. One that would help them to move between dimensions, but he had warned them of the herb's power. Willow was insistent.
Tara was the anchor. She was to try and keep Willow connected to the land of the living. Or at least *this* land of the living. Tara knew it would be hard to connect with Willow again after everything that had happened, but this was bigger than the both of them.
Willow drank the herbal infusion and her face squinched from the taste.
Tara held out her hands, the candle between her forearms and Willow took
them softly, handling them like porcelain. They connected with a spark, a shock that melted them both. Their eyes connected, then Willow's softly closed. "Take me to Spike," she whispered to the air.
The red headed witch found herself suddenly back on the playground. Visions sped around her from all sides, whipping her skin, hurting her eyes. It seemed everything was moving one hundred times normal speed except for her. Like someone had hit fast forward on a remote control. Willow felt a sharp, almost blinding pain in her neck and her head fell back like a rag doll. She felt his fangs buried in her shoulder and could see a flash of his hair from the corner of her eye. "Spike," she groaned, "take me with you."
The pain was gone. The playground - gone. Everything was red. She felt herself slide out of her skin until all that was left was a tiny ball of light. Still, she could hear Tara's voice in her mind speaking softly, grounding her. She fell steadily like Alice in the rabbit hole.
Suddenly, all the red was gone, and the world began to speed past, only this time she was speeding along with it like dust in a tornado. Blurred pictures sped in front of her eyes. They would stop abruptly like someone had hit pause on the cosmic remote and Willow could make out a still picture before the world began to speed into a dizzying array of light.
There was a forest. A river. A dog. Willow's vision blurred then
screeched to a halt. Rocks, red and gray. Millions of rocks. Faces.
Screaming. Then a cavalcade of color, all shades of red. Freeze. Red
mansion. Blur. Stop. Little men in strange clothes. Blur. Stop. Spike. Spike chained. Thin. Gaunt. Fire. Blood. Blur. Stop. Good-looking man, nice suit, hands sparkling. Spike wincing, roaring. Blur. Stop. Eyes. Blue. Intense. Dying. Heart broken. Blur. Stop. Red eyes glowing. Screaming. Blackness.
"Willow," Tara was screaming, "Willow!"
Willow's eyes fluttered open. She was drenched in sweat and her heart was pounding in her chest. "Tara?"
"Oh, God, Willow," Tara breathed, pulling the girl to her chest, embracing her. Anya stepped in with a wet wash cloth, handing it to Tara. Softly, Tara ran the cloth over the soaked nape of Willow's neck.
" I found him," Willow breathed into Tara's shoulder.
"You did well," Tara answered, smoothing Willow's hair with her soft hands. "You spoke and screamed and cried. It was terrifying."
"It was red. And rocks with people screaming. And a good looking man in a suit..." Willow gushed.
"Luke," Anya chirped. "That's a hell dimension. Big into the brawling and ruckus. Lots of torture. Used to be fun."
"You *know what dimension it is?" Tara asked.
"Sure. Used to go there for parties. La Maison Rouge," Anya mused.
"Red house. Red mansion," Willow panted. "Saw that."
"Big keggers," the former demon reminisced, "very strict guest list."
"How do we get there?" Tara asked.
"Oh, you can't. Unless you go on a killing spree and die." Tara and Willow both looked at Anya, tempted to spell her mouth shut again. " Demons only. Or blood relatives. Humans can't go there. The red haze dissolves them."
"Turns you into a ball of light?" Willow asked, still breathing heavily.
"Fireflies. Can't talk. Can't interact. Just a visual tour. Screws up time too."
"Tell me about it," Willow replied.
"So how do we get Spike?" Tara asked.
"That's a tough one," Anya said, sitting in a chair and rubbing her chin
pensively. "None of us are demons anymore. I doubt Spike has any blood
relatives floating around California..."
"Blood relatives? " Tara asked.
"The baby..." Willow whispered, passing out against Tara's shoulder.
To be contd..