The One With The Fear
Chapter Sixteen
Continued from: 'TOW The Mission'
By: Jana~
*****~*****
--"Excuse me?"
Monica turned in her seat, seeing to whom the raspy voice belonged,
"I hear you're looking for a Charles Bing?" the cross-dressed man standing before her inquired.
Monica squinted, struggling to get a better look at the man's face in the darkness of the room. She smiled as she recognized the resemblance, "Yes sir."
"Please, " he chuckled, gesturing to the chair before taking a seat and joining Monica and Joey, "You say 'sir' and I look around for my father. You can call me Helen. Short for Helena."
Joey squirmed when Chandler's father offered his hand, but to be polite, he shook it.
Monica shook his outstretched hand enthusiastically. "It's nice to meet you, Helen."
Helen glanced at Joey, smiling flirtatiously, then turned his attention to Monica, "And may I ask to what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Well, we're, umm--" Monica hesitated, unsure of exactly where to begin. "We're friends of Chandler's."
Helen's smile faded for a moment but then quickly returned, a bit more forced than before. "I see."
Monica shifted in her seat, his expression and sudden silence causing the moment to become uncomfortable. "He's, umm, here. In Vegas," she continued.
"But he didn't want to come see me?" It was more of a statement than a question.
"He's, well," Monica struggled with how to reply, not wanting to hurt the man's feelings, "He's just--"
"I know," Helen interrupted, saving her from having to lie. "So, umm," he stammered, "How is he?"
"He's fine." Monica replied as she smiled reassuringly.
Helen's eyes shifted from Monica to Joey, "Does he still live in New York?"
"Yeah. He lives with Joey here." Monica gestured to Joey, who just grinned uneasily in return.
Helen nodded at a fidgeting Joey. "What does he do for a living?"
Monica looked at him in slight amazement, "How long has it been since you've spoken to him?" She answered the question with a question, unaware up until that moment that the man knew almost nothing about his son.
"A long time. Seven, eight years maybe?" he admitted sadly, "I got his address from Nora, and I sent him a few letters, but I never heard back from him."
"He works with computers." Monica answered the previous question, "Something with data entry or something. He doesn't exactly like it, but he's good at it."
"And it pays the bills." Joey added.
Helen nodded. "Is he happy?"
Monica nodded, her smile growing a bit brighter. "I think so."
"Has he, found love?"
"Actually," she sat a little taller, "He has."
Helen smirked, "And is his love currently at this table?" he asked, then winked at Joey.
Joey's expression turned to horror, "No, no! I'm straight! He's straight! We just live together!" he gestured to Monica, "She's the one dating him."
Helen laughed, "A bit homophobic, are we dear?"
"No!" Joey defended himself, his expression a cross between offended and embarrassed as he looked away.
*****
--Phoebe, why are we here?" Chandler asked as he stumbled through the door, following behind her.
"We're gonna get you over your fears!" Phoebe replied, spinning as she gestured to the room around her, almost falling on her face. "If you have a fear," she swayed before steadying herself, "You face it!"
"But, Pheebs," he slurred, "I don't have a fear of wedding chapels. I have a fear of marriage."
She shook her head, the room spinning further from that simple action, "That's just cause you've never done it."
"I can't get married cause I'm scared of it, and I can't get over my fear of it till I get married! A catch 22 in a place where anything over 21 is a bust." He sighed, pouting dramatically, "I just can't win!"
Phoebe scowled, trying to think of a way to help her friend. "I know!" she exclaimed suddenly, "I know what we should do! We should get married!"
*****
--"I'm sorry," Monica apologized, "I just don't understand why he doesn't want to see you."
"Well, I really hurt him, when he was younger." Helen offered, excusing his son's actions. "Nine is an impressionable age. My lifestyle change took everyone by surprise, and Chandler didn't handle it too well." He scoffed at the understatement. "I didn't handle it too well either," he admitted ruefully. "I didn't know how to reach him, so, I pretty much didn't even try."
"You ran away from the issue cause you didn't know how to cope." Monica muttered… just saying it aloud brought significance to the discovery.
--That was why Chandler had so many problems dealing with relationship issues. Or any issues for that matter. His parents, his role models, fled as soon as they hit a snag. That was all Chandler ever saw, people fleeing from their problems. It all made sense.
"I know I didn't handle it at all properly, but I would like to try and make amends." Helen smiled weakly, "Or at least apologize to him." He added, tears shining in his eyes, "Do you suppose you could let him know that?"
The show of emotion made Joey uncomfortably aggrieved, his eyes misting up. "Yeah, we can tell him," he offered, drinking his beer quickly in order to stave off the tears threatening to fall.
Monica smiled sympathetically. "Yeah," she told Helen, "We'll tell him."
*****
--"What?!" Chandler screeched in shock, her suggestion somewhat sobering, "I can't marry you!"
"Sure you can!" Phoebe insisted, dismissing his extreme reaction. "It's no big deal. It's just Vegas!"
His mouth dropped open in astonishment. "So?!"
"So!" she moved on to explain, "If you get married in Vegas, you're only married in Vegas!"
His brow furrowed in thought for a moment before responding. "I don't think that's true."
"Sure it is! Why do you think they have so many chapels? It's cause they crank out weddings 24/7! Cause people here get married just for fun!"
He scowled, taking several steps sideways as he began to lose balance. "Are you sure?" he asked as he steadied himself.
"Positive!" she assured him, "We'll just do a practice run, see? Then you'll see that it's not so scary."
His brain tried to reason through the alcohol as he considered her advice. What harm would it do? If it would help him get over his fears so he could better commit to a relationship with the woman he loved, and it wasn't like a real wedding or anything, then, why not?
"Ok, Pheebs. Let's do it!" he finally agreed, "Let's get married!"
She grinned, but then a scowl took its place, "Is that how you propose?"
He frowned until the meaning behind her words became clear, then he smiled and dropped to one knee clumsily. "Phoebe, will you marry me?"
She giggled at his actions, then pulled at his shirt to get him to stand. "Sure I'll marry you!" she accepted, "It was my idea after all!" She threw her arms around him and gave him a friendly peck on the lips. "Let's go get hitched!"
*****
--"This meatball sub is great!" Joey exclaimed, his mouth full of food, "I wish they had this place back in New York!"
Monica looked up from the sandwich in front of her that she was for the most part ignoring, "Good…" she muttered, barely acknowledging him.
"What's wrong? Not hungry?"
She shrugged, "Just trying to decide on the best way to tell Chandler about going to see his dad today."
He nodded as he chewed, "So," his voice was muffled, "Are you not gonna eat that then?"
She scowled, "I'm gonna eat it Joey, ok? If you want another one, I'll buy you another one!"
"Sorry." He took another huge bite, "Ya'know, he loves you. He's gonna forgive you. Just tell him the truth. Let him know that he-- she--" he rolled his eyes, not quite sure what to call Chandler's dad, "Just tell him that his dad is sorry for not being there for him and let him know where the showplace is. Then let him make up his own mind about seeing him."
She smiled at how astute Joey could be at times, "Yeah, I guess. I just have this feeling though that he won't."
"Then that's his decision. You do that too much," Joey criticized, "You get all weird when people don't do stuff exactly like you would want them to." He popped the last of his sandwich in his mouth, "Just let him make up his own mind. And just be there for him no matter what he decides."
"You're a good friend." She told him, picking up her meatball sub a moment later and taking a bite. "Hey! This is good!"
"Yeah baby!" he exclaimed, "So good I'm gonna go get me another one!"
"Get me another one too, ok?"
He looked at her skeptically, "You sure? They're kinda big."
She nodded, "I'm feeling really hungry all of the sudden."
He shrugged and headed for the counter, turning back when he realized he didn't have any money. "Uh, Mon?"
She chuckled and reached into her purse, handing him a $20.
"Thanks!"
*****
--"If it's all fake then why do we need a license thingie?" Chandler asked as they waited for their turn, a wedding already in progress.
She shrugged, "I guess cause they need to keep track of how many marriages they do so they can justify having so many chapels."
In his drunken state, that made sense, and he nodded in agreement.
"Ok, so, when we get up there," Phoebe instructed, "Just pretend I'm Monica, k?"
He nodded, "Ok. And you can pretend I'm--"
"Pierce Brosnan." she interrupted, her smile broadening.
"Double-0-7?" Chandler asked in amusement, "Really?"
"Hey! He has a license to kill!" she defended her choice aggressively.
He held up his hands in surrender, "Ok, ok. Chill. I was just asking."
"If you weren't marrying Monica, who would you marry?" She asked after a minute's silence.
He scowled as he tried to think. "You know," he finally mumbled in response, "I've never wanted to marry anyone but Monica."
She patted his thigh, "That's a good sign! I think this little exercise is going to be just what you need!"
*****
--"Whoa, Mon, that's like your third sandwich," Joey stated the obvious, watching her with concern.
"I eat when I'm nervous." Monica replied, chomping out another bite,
"What are you so nervous about?"
"Duh!" she exclaimed, her mouth full of sandwich, "Telling Chandler about his dad! After the fight we had, I know he's gonna be angry with me."
He grimaced when she sprayed her food as she spoke, then handed her a napkin, "Ok, but still, you might wanna slow down there. You don't wanna revert back to 'fat Monica'."
She dismissed him with a wave of her hand, "I'm not gonna get fat!" she assured him. "I have it totally under control."
"Yeah, right. That's what alcoholics and drug addicts say." Joey shot back, worried about his friend's sudden change in eating habits. "I don't think I've ever seen you eat so much!"
"This is nothing!" she mumbled, still stuffing her face, "Back in high school I could've eat five of these no problem."
"Right, but, Monica," he explained slowly, almost as if talking to a child, "You had an eating problem back then."
She shrugged. "Then maybe," she agreed, "But I don't anymore." She crammed the rest of her sandwich in her mouth and stood, pulling a few waded up dollar bills out of her pocket.
"What are you doing?" he asked suspiciously.
"I'm gonna go get dessert," she replied casually.
His face lit up, "Dessert?"
She smiled and nodded, "Want some Joey?" Her tone was purposefully soft and alluring.
It was like a drug dealer trying to get a new customer, and he abruptly shook his head, declining her offer. "No! And you shouldn't either!" he scolded.
"Oh, c'mon Joe!" she frowned, "They have chocolate cake." She almost sang the words, trying to entice him.
"No. No dessert for me! And none for you either!"
She scoffed, "I'm getting dessert!" She started for the counter, but he physically stopped her by grabbing a hold of her waist.
"I'm not gonna let you do it!" he announced, struggling with her as she tried to break free, "I'm not gonna let you eat yourself into a size one hundred!"
"Let me go! I want cake! I need cake!" She sounded half crazed, which just added to his concern.
"No!" he held her tighter, the scene drawing attention. "What are you looking at?" he asked the bystanders who had stopped to stare, "There's nothing to see here!" he snapped at them, "Move along!"
Monica continued to struggle. "Joey!" she yelled, angry and getting angrier, "You let me go!"
"Not till you promise me you won't eat anymore!" he haggled.
"You should talk!" she ridiculed, "You're like a human garbage disposal!"
"I just eat cause it tastes good!" he barked back, "I don't use it as a vice!"
With that word she stopped fighting him. "Oh wow," she muttered, almost to herself, "I was using food as a vice, wasn't I?"
He nodded as he loosened his grip on her, "You've had enough food, Mon. I'm cutting you off."
She nodded, suddenly very embarrassed. "Can you take me back to my hotel room now?"
He put his arm around her, comforting her. "Sure. And I'll help you talk to Chandler if you want."
She shook her head, "No. I need to face him alone." She sighed, "Will you stay with me till he comes back though?"
He smiled as he led her out of the restaurant, "Sure."
*****
--"I know Monica deserves better than me," Chandler lamented, "But, she says she wants me. Me." He shrugged largely, "I don't know why, but, I know I love her."
"You don't know why you love her?" Phoebe asked, confused.
"No, I meant, I don't know why she loves me!"
"Ok, well, let's think about it," she suggested, tapping her finger to her chin, her expression intense as she pondered. "Oh!" she exclaimed suddenly, "You're cute!"
He scoffed, "Hardly."
"Ok," she pondered further, "You have a good paying job!"
"Yeah, but it's not like I'm rich or anything."
"Hmmm, good point," she agreed. "Oh! Maybe you're really good in bed!"
He shrugged, "Eh."
She sighed. "Ok," she announced, "Let's list the reasons you like her!" She gave it some thought. "Oh! She can cook!"
"Yeah." He acknowledged, "She's bossy and competitive and compulsively neat."
"No," Phoebe corrected, "We're listing things you do like."
His smile broadened, "Thing is, I do like those things. I like everything about her. I like how passionate and self-assured she is, and God is she hot."
"Yeah?" Phoebe smirked, "And I'm guessing the sex is pretty great."
"Yeah baby!" He confirmed enthusiastically, sounding more Joey than Chandler.
"Best you've ever had?" she pressed further.
He nodded, "Hands down."
"Yeah, well, you've never had me." She mumbled with a smile, "I'm very bendy."
He looked to her abruptly and she licked her lips seductively, winking playfully…
"Bing wedding?" the receptionist asked Chandler and Phoebe, they both stood and nodded. "They're ready for you now."
TO BE CONTINUED…
In: 'The One With All The Worry'