The One Where It Finally Ends

Chapter Twenty

Continued from: 'TOW The Aftermath'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--Chandler paced the office floor, looking around at all the older looking books on the several bookshelves that lined the walls, nervously wringing his hands as Phoebe sat seemingly unaffected by being there.

"Chandler," she scolded, "Stop pacing. You're making me motion sick!"

He stopped pacing and sat heavily in the chair next to her. "Look, Pheebs," he spoke quietly, "When the lawyer gets in here, let me do the talking."

Phoebe rolled her eyes, "You know, just cause I made a mistake doesn't mean I'm stupid."

"I know that," he agreed, "But I just think I should handle this, ok?"

She gestured towards him as if to say she was fine with it, but he could tell she was upset.

"Alright," the lawyer entered, which prompted Chandler and Phoebe to stand. "Mr. and Mrs. Bing?"

"No," Chandler corrected, "Mr. Chandler Bing and Ms. Phoebe Buffay."

The lawyer smiled and nodded. "Alright. Why don't we take a seat and you can tell me what happened."

"Well, you see," Chandler chuckled nervously, "We got a little bit drunk, and Phoebe was trying to be a good friend by helping me get over my fears about marriage. So, she suggested we go get married, because she thought a Vegas marriage wasn't a legal marriage. You know, like, it was just for fun?"

The lawyer eyed him warily.

"Anyway," Chandler continued, "Because I was drunk, when she said marriages in Vegas aren't 'real', I believed it."

"So, you got married just for fun?" the lawyer asked.

"No," Phoebe corrected, "We got married so he could prove to himself that he could."

Chandler nodded and gestured towards Phoebe. "Exactly."

"Have you ever had a relationship?" The lawyer gestured between the two of them.

"A romantic relationship?" Chandler asked, the lawyer nodded. "Not with each other, no."

"Ok, then you qualify for an annulment," the lawyer informed, starting to sift through papers.

"Great!" Chandler exclaimed, relieved, smiling at Phoebe.

"So, this isn't like a divorce, right?" Phoebe asked. "It's more like, erasing a mistake?"

The lawyer smirked, "I guess you could say that."

"And that would go for any marriage one had in Vegas, while under the assumption that Vegas weddings weren't valid?"

Chandler squinted at her, "Phoebe, how many times have you gotten married in Vegas?"

She shot him a look and shook her head, then smiled at the lawyer as his attention turned to her.

"Ok," the lawyer cleared his throat, dropping his look of bewilderment, "I'll need you to fill out these forms, then, I will draft the paperwork for you to fill out for the judge."

"Judge?" Phoebe asked.

"The judge makes it official," the lawyer explained in layman's terms. "Not to worry." He handed over the forms, then handed them each a pen. "Will you excuse me?" he asked, standing.

"Sure." Chandler nodded, then turned his attention to the form.

Once the lawyer had left the room, Chandler leaned towards Phoebe. "Seriously," he asked sotto, "How many times have you been married in Vegas?"

"Let's just say, this isn't the only mistake that needs erasing."

*****

--"Hey, Monica?" Joey asked as he entered her apartment, "Do you have tweezers?"

"Tweezers?" she repeated, "Yeah, I have tweezers." She headed for the bathroom, "Why do you need them?"

"Well, the chick and the duck got into it, and--"

"AH!" she waved her hands to stop him. "I don't want to know," she muttered in disgust, "And I don't want them back, either."

"Fair enough," he nodded, waiting for Monica to return from the bathroom.

"Here'ya go." She handed them to him, then went back to cleaning the kitchen counters.

"Thanks." He started to leave, but stopped as he remembered something. "Hey, Mon? I think I have your copy of Rachel and Ross' wedding."

She scowled, "How did you get it?"

"Phoebe brought it with her to Vegas," he replied as he played with the tweezers, smiling as he pinched them closed repeatedly.

"What? Are you sure?" she asked, her question bringing his attention back to her.

"Yeah." He gestured towards his apartment. "I'll go get it."

Monica watched him leave, then headed for the video cabinet to see if her copy of the wedding tape was missing. She found it right away, and held it up as Joey re-entered her apartment. "I have my copy."

Joey held up the tape in his hand, "Then, who's is this?" he asked. "Did Phoebe get her own copy!?" he complained. "I didn't get a copy!" he whined, "I want a copy!"

Monica took the tape from his hand and looked it over. "I don't think this is Rachel and Ross' wedding tape."

A confused expression crossed his face. "Huh?"

"Look," she pointed at the tape, "The label is all wrong. Ross and Rachel's tape says: 'Ross and Rachel's wedding', not 'wedding memories'."

"Then," he asked with a frown, "Who's wedding is it?"

"I don't know." She took the tape and popped it into the machine, "Let's find out." She grabbed the remote and hit 'play'.

Right away a picture of Chandler came into view, standing at an altar, in front of a preacher, with Phoebe walking into frame a moment later.

"Oh my God!" Joey exclaimed as he realized what he was seeing. "Chandler and Phoebe got married?! When?! How?!"

Monica stood in stunned silence, watching the tape as if it were a train wreck, and she couldn't take her eyes off it out of shock and disbelief.

"Hello children," Chandler greeted as he walked into the room, unaware that his good mood about to be shattered. He realized almost immediately what Joey and Monica were intently watching, and in an attempt to explain himself, began to stammer nervously, his words more gibberish than anything coherent.

Monica turned around, her eyes giving away her feelings of being totally betrayed.

"Monica, please, just-- I know this looks bad, but-- I can explain…"

She glared at him, then stormed off into her bedroom and slammed the door.

"Dude! What the hell?!" Joey asked, pointing at the TV.

"Oh God," Chandler looked from the TV, to Joey, to Monica's bedroom door. "Oh no." His expression was pained as he panicked over what to do next.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Joey snapped.

"I wasn't, ok? I was drunk!" Chandler told him. "I was DRUNK!" he yelled out towards Monica's bedroom. He hit the stop button on the tape on his way to her closed door. "It was just a mistake, Monica, ok? Please don't freak out over this. I was drunk. I only did it to prove I could."

"Dude. Still." Joey scolded.

Chandler turned to look at him, "Joey, would you mind?" he gestured towards the front door, his way of asking him to leave.

"Fine." Joey huffed, then headed for the door.

"Monica, please," Chandler begged at the door, "Just-- just let me explain, ok?"

She threw open the door, and he could see she had been crying. "Why? Why can you commit to everyone but me?!"

He sighed, "Monica, please, think about this for a minute. Have I ever shown romantic feelings for Phoebe? No. Cause she's just my friend. We were drunk, she suggested getting married to help me get over my fear of marriage. She said if you get married in Vegas, you're only married in Vegas."

Monica scoffed. "Oh, please! You know better than that!" she exclaimed, her arms crossed and over her chest.

"When I'm not pickled in booze, sure. But in my impaired state, I believed her," he explained. "We're fixing it though, ok? We're getting an annulment. We met with the lawyer just today."

"If it was all so innocent," she argued, "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I didn't want to upset you!" he replied determinedly. "I figured I could just get the annulment and you would never have to know."

She seemed reluctant to drop it, her expression continuing to show irritation. He was at a loss for how to prove himself to her, but then, he remembered something.

"I even said your name at the altar!" he blurted out, grabbing the VCR remote. "Look!"

He found the spot on the tape through forward search, then hit play.

-- "Repeat after me," the minister instructed. "I Chanandelor, take thee, Regina, to be my wife. In sickness and in health, till death parts us."

"I, Chandler, take thee, Monica, to be wife."

The minister began to correct him as he glanced at Phoebe, but she just shook her head. "It's a nick-name," she told him, and he smiled. --

"See?!" Chandler exclaimed as he hit stop again. "I only did it cause Pheebs said it would help me get over my commitment fears!"

She sighed, hugging herself out of frustration. "What did the lawyer say?"

"We fill out some forms, then we go in front of the judge, then it's like it never happened."

"I want to be there," she insisted, "When you go in front of the judge."

He briefly, silently wondered why she would want to be there, but he nodded anyway. "Ok. Sure."

"Dude," Joey gave an up-nod to Chandler as he walked into the apartment, "You have a phone call." He handed him the phone, his tone still showing him to be angry, "From your lawyer."

Chandler took the phone, then glanced at Monica before taking the call. "Hello? ~ Yes, this is Chandler Bing. ~ What kind of problem? ~ Yeah, ok, I'll be right there." He hung up the phone, then sheepishly looked to Monica. "He wants to see me and Phoebe in his office. There's some kind of problem or something."

Monica rolled her eyes, "Of course there is." She marched over to the door and grabbed her purse off the hook. "I'm going with."

*****

--Chandler paced nervously in the lawyers office while Monica and Phoebe sat side-by-side, the tension between them thick.

"I didn't do it to upset you, Monica," Phoebe stated apologetically. "I was drunk. I was just trying to help him."

"I know," Monica replied distantly.

"I really don't have feelings for him. I really thought Vegas weddings were just for fun."

"It's fine, Phoebe," Monica snipped quietly, obviously upset.

Phoebe sighed, "How long are you gonna be mad at me?"

"I'm not mad." Her tone didn't mirror her words.

The lawyer entered, and Chandler stopped pacing.

"Hello," he greeted his anxious clients, "Thank you for coming in."

Chandler stood beside Monica's chair as the lawyer took his seat behind the desk. "Is there a problem?" he asked with concern.

"Well, yes and no," the lawyer replied. "It seems that you didn't get married, exactly."

"What?" Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe all asked, almost in unison.

"Well, you see, when you filled out the marriage license, you filled it out incorrectly. You," he pointed at Chandler, "Stated your name to be 'Chanandelor Bong'. And you," he pointed at Phoebe, "Stated your name to be 'Regina Phillange'. Because of this, the marriage isn't valid."

"So, what does this mean?" Phoebe asked.

"It means," the lawyer explained, "There is no need to file for an annulment because there is no marriage to annul."

"So, that's it?" Chandler asked. "We're just, not married."

"That's right," the lawyer nodded.

"So," Monica asked, "What happens now?"

The lawyer shrugged. "Well, now there is no need to file with the judge, and after I send some paperwork to the Vegas courthouse, it'll be like the ceremony never took place."

"Now," Phoebe interjected, "Would that be the same for any wedding where the legal name wasn't used?"

The lawyer scowled at her in confusion, "Yes, why?"

She smiled sheepishly, "No reason."

When the lawyer turned his attention to some forms on his desk, her smile grew wider.

"Yes!" she exclaimed in a whisper, then shook her head when it gained everyone's attention. "Nothing, nothing," she waved her hands, gesturing for the lawyer to continue with what he was doing.

*****

--"I don't think Monica is ever going to forgive me," Phoebe complained as she joined Joey on the couch at Central Perk.

"Yeah," Joey muttered, seemingly disinterested. "Shame."

Phoebe could tell he was upset about something. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he replied dismissively, vowing to give her the cold shoulder, hurt that she married Chandler, and what more, that it was her idea that they wed.

"Joey, I know you better than that," she scowled, "Are you upset with me?"

He couldn't keep up appearances any longer. As upset as he was with her, bottom line was, it was Phoebe. "Of all people, why Chandler?"

She looked at him for a moment, trying to understand the question. "What?"

"I guess I just thought that if you were ever gonna get married to one of us," he muttered disappointedly, "It would be me."

"Sweetie," she smiled as she placed her hand on his knee, "I didn't marry him, marry him. I just did it to help him out."

He looked like a dejected child, his face sad as he picked at imaginary lint on his pants. "Still."

"Look," she promised him, "The next time I get married to any of you guys, it'll be you," she grinned as she ran the back of her index finger down his face, "Ok?"

He glanced at her out of his peripheral vision, not quite ready to give up his anger, not at all ready to admit her touch stirred him. "Sure, now with Chandler out of the way and Ross already married," he grumbled.

She lightly pinched his chin between her thumb and forefinger, bringing his face to hers, leaning in and giving him a little-more-than-friendly kiss.

He pulled back, shocked. "What did you do that for?"

"You know you're my favorite," she said with a grin. "And you know I love you," she added sotto. "Don't be mad at me."

He smiled his typical lopsided grin. "I could never stay mad at you, Pheebs."

*****

--"How long are you going to freeze me out, Monica," Chandler asked as he watched her prepare dinner.

She continued to chop vegetables, the knife slicing angrily through the carrots. "I don't know yet," she replied coolly.

"You know it was just a mistake!" he defended himself. "You know I feel nothing for Phoebe! You know I was drunk at the time! What more do you need?"

"I've moved past being mad at you over the actual wedding," she informed distantly. "I'm now onto being mad at you for keeping it from me."

He sighed. "I was just trying to protect you."

"From the truth?" she asked after throwing him a brief condescending look.

"From getting hurt over my stupid mistake," he gestured at the air around him, his way of asking for her understanding.

"The truth might hurt," she stated softly, "But it's better than a lie."

"Ok, fine. You want the truth?" he challenged, "Here's the truth!"

Monica spun around to face him, not sure of what to expect next.

"I am in love with you. And I know you deserve better, but, I'm selfish. I want you, and I need you, and I will do anything to keep you. And if that includes lying to you about stupid mistakes I make, then, well--" he paused, leaving that sentence unfinished. "But, I would never lie to you about the important things, cause I love you too much to do that."

She just stared at him for a moment, then a hint of a smile crossed her face. "Yeah, that's pretty honest." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Does this mean you forgive me?" he asked optimistically.

Monica nodded. "I do."

His smile grew wider. "Good phrase to be remembering."

Her heart skipped a beat, and her breathing nearly stopped as she stared back at his grinning face. "Chandler? Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

He pulled her in for a passionate kiss, which she surrendered to completely, dinner all but forgotten as they headed for her bedroom.

THE END